Nick

Okay, I was just about at the end of my rope.

The karaoke contest had been a brilliant move, if I do say so myself. I had won, of course, and being paraded around a corn field like a rock star definitely served as a high point of the visit so far.

However, now the Hopps family had gone from slightly scared of me to incredibly curious about me. It was a good thing overall, but...

"How do you avoid biting your tongue with your fangs?"

"How does Judy kiss you?"

"Can I touch your tail?"

I gave the crowd of small children an uneasy smile. "I just keep it out of the way. I either pick her up or she hops up to meet me, and..."

I sighed, slipping my tail to the side. "Go ahead..."

Instantly a small swarm of tiny bunnies had wrapped itself around my tail. It was snuggly, but also became rather... Pinchy.

Fortunately I was saved when one of Judy's older brothers came and ushered them off to bed. He gave me an apologetic look as he dragged them away.

I shot him an understanding smile and then...

Nothing.

I looked down the left tunnel. I looked down the right tunnel. Was... Was I alone in a rabbit warren?

I felt a surge of trepidation. I had no idea where I was. This place was a labyrinth and I had no guide... And no Judy to protect me if some of her less pred friendly siblings decided to jump me.

I gripped my paws and counted to three in my head. It was okay. The family liked me. All I had to do was walk to the nearest door, knock on it and ask for directions. Everyone was happy to give directions. It made them feel smart.

I smoothed out my fur, put on a confident stride and sauntered down through the tunnels.

The first room I bumped into was clearly a janitor's closet. A small part of me wanted to pick up a broom and use it as an improvised quarter staff for some reason, but I dismissed it and closed the door.

The second room was a bathroom. It wasn't particularly helpful, but hey! At least I would have water and a place to go if I was trapped down here for all eternity.

The third room looked more promising. It had a bronze sign on it that read "IT Department" with a little undersign in Braille.

Huh, I guess this is where I go to complain about my phone signal. Seriously, if there was ever a time for GPS it was now.

I opened the door and was instantly greeted by a sword cane to my gut.

It was held by a rabbit doe in a red dress wearing sunglasses. "I dunno who you are mother fucker, but y'all are going to sit tight while I phone the cops you hear?"

"But I am the cops!" I cried, much more shrill than I'd intended.

She tilted her head. Still not looking directly at me. "Huh? Wait a second..." She sniffed the air. "You smell like Judy. And not scared Judy either, you smell like... Happy, Hyper, Horny Judy..."

She lowered the sword. "Holy crap you're Nick aren't you?"

"Yes!" I shouted, the fear being replaced by anger. "Who the hell did you think I was!"

She groaned. "Dude, I already said I didn't know! A random guy who's walk I didn't recognize showed up outside my door late at night. I think I behaved pretty reasonably."

I folded my arms and gave her a withering look. "Oh, so the fox broke in. Of course we're all criminals so I suppose that's fair."

The rabbit looked pissed. "Dude! When I hear you I didn't even know you were a fox!"

"You did after you saw me!"

She yanked off her sunglasses, revealing milky white pupils.

I froze.

"I never saw you dumbass. Now kneel."

I blinked at her. "What?"

She rolled her sightless eyes. "If I want to 'see' the dude who stole my sister's heart and saved her butt all those times, I need to feel his face. Kneel down."

I grunted. "What's the magic word?" After everything she deserved a little peevishness.

She sighed. "Please."

Still a bit annoyed, but hoping to make a good impression, I knelt down and guided her paws to my face. Her paws were very soft and the experience felt oddly... intimate. Which in turn made me feel a bit creeped.

After a moment she stepped back and smiled. "You're cute. Sorry for earlier, I get a bit jumpy sometimes."

I thought of several puns about a rabbit named Hopps being 'jumpy' but I managed to restrain myself. "You're Natalie right?" The name from the flashcards had finally come to me.

She nodded. "That's me. Resident blind IT girl for the Hopps Warren. Just don't ask me to fix your monitor." She slid her sword back into her cane (it had a white tip) and I coughed.

"Uh... Hey, so... Maybe swinging that thing around isn't such a good-"

"Your tail is drooping and your ears are turned back. You're about 6 inches from the door jamb and you do not have any pudge to speak of." She said.

I blinked. "Huh?"

She pointed to her ears. "I'm a blind bunny, I'm practically Tasmanian Daredevil."

I snorted. "If that's the case you really need to bang Froggy."

She smiled. "Everyone needs to bang Froggy. Matt does not deserve him." She deftly slid her now much safer cane over to the wall and flicked on the lights, revealing a pile of broken down electronics neatly organized on a collection of desks. There was also a much less organized desk with a couple open boxes of candy and a Braille reader equipped laptop on it. She hopped into the chair in front of said desk and gestured to her domain. "So, what brings you to the IT department?"

I blushed. "I actually got a bit lost, but while I'm here, a phone checkup would probably help. I'm... I'm not exactly getting great reception down here."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is it a Stagson?"

I blinked. "Uh... Yeah, how did you know."

She smirked. "Because their phones are crap."

I crossed my arms. "I'll have you know it has an awesome display." Seriously, I paid three hundred bucks for it.

She snorted. "That's such a huge selling point for me..." She grew an evil grin on her face. "Tell you what, I might have something that can help you, but in exchange, I want to know a bit more about your recent romantic escapades."

I smirked. If she wanted to make things uncomfortable, two could play at that game. "Well, if you would like to know, in great detail, all about the things I've done with and to your sister..."

"Screw Judy, I want to hear about you and Gideon!"

All my fur stood on end. "Bu- Bwhu?" My mind was racing. "How do you know about that!?"

She pointed to her ears. "Tasmanian Daredevil remember? I keep telling them to soundproof the quiet room, but no one ever listens. So, a prison wife, huh?"

I groaned. "Will everyone stop calling him that? And if you heard the conversation, there's not really much more to say. Apparently it's normal for bunnies to be poly and now I have a really awkward date set up by my significant other."

She pulled out a soda from her desk and popped it open. "Yeah, you kind of lucked out there. Rabbit dudes are pretty much expected to have a primary lover and like six secondaries. Dad's pretty conservative with his three."

There were apparently a lot of rabbit customs I'd need to get used to. Something about her explanation nagged at me though. "Only guy rabbits?"

Natalie grimaced and let out a long breath. "Yeah... That's sort of a sticky subject in the rabbit community. Statistically everyone's got gay kids they love so that's not as much of a hangup, and dudes kind of get a free pass on poly, but..." She tapped her paw on her desk. "There's kind of... arguments about does that want to have more than one partner."

I felt suddenly a little uncomfortable. "That doesn't seem very fair."

She held up her paws defensively. "Hey, I think that's just fine, and lord knows they blab about it a lot at the LGBT meetings between planning trips to the gay bar and wishing they had a trans sibling to fill out the 'T' part."

She shuddered. "Seriously, it's kind of creepy. Not trans people, but that they'd wish gender dysphoria on a sibling. I'm not told it's fun."

I nodded. "Yeah... So, if everyone's okay with gay folks why do you even have an LGBT group in the first place?"

Natalie snorted. "Because us queer rabbits like having other queer rabbits to bitch about straight people with. I dunno, there are less accepting warrens out there and sometimes we end up helping non rabbit communities and stuff. Really it's just another way to socialize though. In a given warren there's tons of organized groups. We've got the LGBT group, the gymnastics group, a group of cinephiles... Personally I find the LARPers the most entertaining."

I imagined a group of rabbits in chainmail battering each other with foam swords and couldn't help but snicker. "Sounds fun."

She offered me a cola. "It can be. But we've gone way off topic here. How do you really feel about Gideon?"

I took the drink and popped it open, using the time to ponder my response. "Honestly... I have no clue. I mean, he's definitely stayed attractive physically, but we haven't really had a chance to talk."

"Isn't that what a date is? A chance to talk?"

I took a sip of the cola. Nice bubbly, sharp, not to sweet. Natalie had good taste. "I guess so. I kind of just want it..." I shook my head, suddenly feeling very old. "I want it to be like old times, but the context is so different and we've changed so much."

She smiled wistfully. "Ah yes, a relationship that ended due to outside circumstances. The seminal tragedy. Pun intended."

I blushed. "Really, that's where this conversation is going?"

She gave me a snarky look. "Are you kidding? We haven't even gotten started! Giddy's the only fox in town and everyone in the burrow likes to speculate on how hung he is. I think there's a betting pool going..."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, seriously, you do know that there's such a thing as too big and it's not actually that big right?"

She sniggered. "Those sound like the words of a man who's lacking."

I groaned. "I wish. It would make things with Judy so mu-" I stopped, noticing what I'd just said. My blush deepened. "Uh..."

Natalie swirled her soda like a fine wine. "Well well, lucky Judy."

I rubbed at my head. "No, not lucky Judy, like I said, too big. Honestly I'd kill to have a smaller one like Gid-" I froze. I stared at my drink. "What the heck is in this stuff?"

She grinned. "Sugar. I'm just easy to talk to. Don't worry, your secret is safe. Might I give you a bit of advice?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Not if it's sex advice."

"Ha ha, no. If you want lady pleasing lessons I charge for that. What I was going to say was if you're nervous about dating two people at once, just make sure they're both happy. Judy's probably mondo stressed right now with trying to get everyone to get along... Just let her know how much you love her."

She narrowed her sightless eyes. "You do love her, right?" She sounded more serious than when she had a sword at my gut.

I gripped my drink. "More than life itself."

She smirked. "Good answer. Now..." She slid herself over to a little shelf and pulled a carrot phone out of a box. "This will work just fine down here, and it's got a built in tunnel guide app so you shouldn't get lost again."

I tilted my head. "Don't I need a sim card?"

She shook her head. "Nah, it's one of our spares. We keep them on the family plan."

She swung over to me and slipped her hand down my arm, putting the phone in my paw. "Welcome to it."

Judy

"You know he has terrible fashion sense." I said. Popping a raspberry into my mouth. Yes, I ate fruit in bed, sue me.

Gideon blushed from my phone. "Honestly I wouldn't know. I only ever saw him in a jumpsuit... Well until today when he seemed to be okay."

I snorted. "That's because I was dressing him. Don't worry, he'll bust out his Hawaiian shirts pretty soon."

The fox I grew up with smiled. "That is a pretty entertaining picture. What does he look like in a police uniform?"

I sighed, balancing my head on my hands with a smile. "Dreamy..."

He smirked, looking wistful. "Yeah... I bet he is. He always wanted to be the knight in shining armor. It's really great to hear he got to."

I nodded. More than a bit giddy (no pun intended). I was actually super tired before this all started, but talking to Gideon really brightened my day for some reason.

"Carrots!" Called Nick, hopping onto the bed and tackling me in a hug. I nuzzled him, My boyfriend was kind of a dork. "Nick! I was just setting up your date with Gideon!"

"Hi!" Gideon's waved from the phone's screen.

Nick raised an eyebrow. "You were helping him plan it?"

I nodded. "If you haven't noticed I'm rooting for you two."

Gideon smiled. "You really got yourself a keeper there Nick."

He rubbed his cheek against mine. "Don't I know it. So what is this ingenious plan?"

I cleared my throat. Prepping to present my findings. "Gideon has the day off tomorrow and I was planning to spend lunch catching up with my litter. You two are going to have a picnic out in the rolling hills of the South fields."

"If that sounds good to you...?" Gideon said sheepishly. I had to teach that guy more confidence.

Nick threw on his trademark smirk. "It sounds perfect Giddy."

Gideon smiled back. "Glad to hear! I'll let you two get some rest. Talk to y'all later Swee... Nick!" He blushed. "Uh... Talk to y'all later."

He hung up. I turned to Nick. An evil grin on my face. "He called you 'sweetie'?"

Nick groaned. "Ugh... Sometimes. Can you ease off on the interrogation though? I got enough of that from Natalie."

I smirked, punching his arm affectionately (affectionate punches were a fine art). "Oooh, so the big strong fox couldn't handle a defenseless blind bunny girl?"

He snorted. "Defenseless? Are we talking about the same rabbit?"

I snuggled into his shoulder with a yawn. "Yeah... We Hopps women are pretty tough."

He turned his head to mine, smiling. "I gathered." He kissed me. Short, but passionate. "God you're a vision Judy."

I blushed. I loved our banter, but sometimes all the snark melted away and I got to see his core. That loving, caring fox.

He kissed down the front of my shirt and I breathed out a little gasp as he realized what he was doing. "N-Nick? Now?"

He looked up at me. His eyes wide with affection. "It's just... It's been a really crazy day and I feel like I haven't had a chance to just be with you... Do... Do you want me to go on?"

I flushed, smiled, and nodded.

And then the night got a whole lot better.