Chapter four- Grow a Brain, Dude!, Kenny's P.O.V.
"So," I said softly as we walked down the street, eyeing the beauty next to me in my parka. "That was rather amusing, does that happen often to you? Ya know, guys walking over to molest you?"
She let out a soft giggle. "No, it doesn't, I guess," She smiled up at me. "Do you get into fights often?"
"Sometimes," I answered honestly. "It depends on my day."
"So you just pick fights?" She asked softly.
I just shrugged and smirked. "Sometimes, to people that deserve it."
She seemed to frown at me. "Well have you ever beat up someone who doesn't deserve it?" She asked quietly.
I paused. "No," I smiled down at her, playing with her golden locks before she blushed and swatted my hand away. "They do, the bastards."
"Oh," She pursed her lips, choosing her next words carefully. "Well...I know someone who was beat up constantly and he doesn't know why...he is my gay friend but I don't think think that is a proper reason to beat someone up."
I sucked in a breath and stared at her as we continued walking and she continued talking softly, still choosing her words carefully.
"He is my cousin...you might know him, he goes to your school."
"What is his name?"
"Leopold...people call him 'Butters' for some reason...isn't that silly?" She giggled and looked away. "I get beat up sometimes as well for being around him, not by the same people of course."
"Oh..." I frowned. "Does he say who beats him up?"
"No, he refuses to tell me..."
"Oh...I'll look out for him if you want me to."
She smiled. "Really, you would do that?" She asked excitedly. "That would be awesome."
"Yeah, no problem, hey what school do you go to anyway?" He asked softly.
"North Park high." She said softly.
"Oh, what is it like there?"
"Unpleasant." She muttered. "Rather odd as well, I wished I lived in South Park."
"I doubt that, South Park is crazy." I said gently as we reached the parking lot, watching her sit on the hood of her car before patting the spot next to her for me to sit. I did and looked up at the night sky.
She shrugged. "Well I'm actually staying with my cousin at the moment, his father is crazy." She giggled and laid back against the windshield.
I copied her. "Well, good luck with that then." I mumbled, thoughts running through my head. I was thankful that Butters didn't blab to her. Now I should be nicer to him...what the hell do I even tell my friends?
"Thanks, I'm going to need it." She giggled and looked at her phone. "Oh, it's late, I must hurry home..." She smiled and jumped off the hood.
"Alright," I climbed off and smiled at her. "Have a good night..." I said softly.
"You too, Kenny..." She pulled off my sweatshirt after she turn away, fixing her chest before spinning back around and handing my sweatshirt to me. "Thanks, for everything."
She kissed my cheek before slipping into her car and starting it, smiling and waving at me before backing up and pulling away. I just stared after the car.
Fuck my life.
"No guys," I sighed and looked at my group of three, watching Cartman who laid on his bed-staring at me as if I had two heads-, Kyle who was playing the Playstation 3 and barely paying attention until now-he simply raised an eyebrow at me-, and finally, Stan who was playing against Kyle, his head in Kyle's lap as he stared at me. "We need to stop bullying Butters, for good."
"What is this pussy shit about?" Cartman asked angrily. "Butters is a snitching goody-two-shoes bitch! He deserves his ass kicked."
"No he doesn't, as long as his cousin is Lori," I said sternly. "Trust me, this chick is hot and I don't want to fuck it up with her, I want to get in a relationship and bone her, at least once, please?"
Stan snickered as Kyle rolled his eyes. "Don't always think with your dick and besides, you really want to date one of the Stotches?" Stan asked.
"She is completely different from the rest of them, please dudes..." I begged. "I took a picture of her last night...Cartman, let me use your computer and phone cord so I can load it on there as a bigger image."
Cartman only grunted a response and went back to the magazine he was reading, it was one of my own, can you guess what the magazine's name was? Playboy.
Stan and Kyle returned to their game as I sat in the fatasses computer chair(he lost a lot of weight, we still prefer to call him fatass though), a nd plugged in my phone with the cord. Once the computer started up and realized a phone was plugged in, I clicked on the 'open files' button and pulled up the picture. "See?" I asked as I leaned away for them to see.
The picture was of Lori when she wasn't looking, she was laughing softly, eyes shut, a large smile on her face showing her pretty white teeth, her skin was pale and smooth, and her hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She wore a white tee-shirt in this and had a drink I made in her hand. She was beautiful in this picture.
"It's one I took two weeks ago." I said simply.
"Dude, It looks like Marjorine." Kyle said, frowning at the image.
"Yeah it sort of does look like Butters female duplicate, but put together a lot better." Stan commented as he looked the image over once before getting up and walking over to the computer, Kyle following, pausing the game once more before he did.
"What was Butters cousin's name again?" Cartman asked, following them.
"Lori." I said skeptically.
"We should ask Butters parents if he has a cousin named 'Lori'..."
"Dude, Cartman, she has a chest, hips, and a female figure that makes me want to cry when she teases me but wont let me get close enough...I kissed her and she giggled and pushed me away, saying 'nuh uh uh'..."
"What a tease...but have you seen any cleavage?" Cartman questioned me.
"No. But she isn't one of those slutty women." I argued.
"Dude. Butters is probably fucking with you." Cartman smirked. "And he made a fool of you..." He muttered.
"It's not Butters!" I exclaimed angrily before I was hit with sudden realization. She had a black eye, like Butters. Her voice sounded like Butters with a girly tone...
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUCK.
It was Butters, Lori was Butters. WHAT THE FUCK?
"FUCK!" I exclaimed, covering my face with my hands. "It's him!" I groaned and slammed my fists down on the chair arms.
"Dude, you have a crush on Butters. The female him." Said Stan, who was laughing his ass off and about to get a beating from yours truly. "You're royally fucked."
"I'm sorry Kenny but its not all that bad. I mean, its not like its the end of the world or anything, you know?" Kyle said with a shrug, sitting back down on the floor in front of the TV. "Are we going to unpause the game, Stanley?"
Stan rolled his eyes and laid down with his head in Kyle's lap again, grabbing the controller. "Go ahead, dude." He said softly.
"This is gold!" Cartman shouted, his laughter ringing in my ears. "He got you back good, I'll have to give Butters a pat on the back before we beat him up next time."
"Shut up, Fatass!" I exclaimed, standing up and unplugging my cell phone.
"No wonder why Lori didn't want to fuck you!" He said as he sat on his bed, still laughing. "Butters is a transvestite, and you fell for him!"
"I did not! I just wanted to fuck him when he was female!"
"You denied sex from a hot chick for him!"
"SHUT UP, FATASS!"
"God, poor boy, shut up and face facts." Cartman said sharply as he rolled over and grabbed the magazine again.
"I can't deal with this right now." I stated angrily, storming out of the room and slamming the door with an angry huff. Those freaking assholes think they know everything...but then again they could be right, I mean, why wouldn't they be if they have stated all the valid facts? I'm screwed. No. I need to get screwed, now!
With a soft sigh I walked down the stairs and out the door, shivering in the cold. I need Bebe. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number, waiting for her to answer as I turned and walked towards Starks Pond.
"Hey! This is Bebe, yeah, I'm not here right now, but leave a message you-" Beep!
Fucking voicemail.
"Hey, booty call, call me back." I said quickly before hanging up. "Fuck..." I muttered under my breath as I sighed and sat on the bench at the pond.
A noise was heard, leaves rustling. I turned and looked in the direction of the noise. No fucking way. Right now.
He is so going down. I thought as I got up off the bench and walked over the the blue eyed male who looked at me in fear. "Hello, Butters."