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Chapter 4. You're Prettier Than I Thought You'd Be.

Mark Chesnutt "When You Love Her Like Crazy"

She'll call,

I'll drop,

Everything and run,

She'll ask,

She'll get,

Anything she wants/

Take all my money, And take all my time,

There's nothing of mine, That I wont sacrifice/

When you love her like crazy,

That's what you are,

You don't think,

You just follow your heart,

Am I a fool, outta my mind,

Yeah, well maybe,

But that's how it is

When you love her like crazy/

She'll smile at me,

And I'll come unglued,

She'll cry,

Those tears,

And I'll hurt too/

Forget all logic,

And all reasons why,

There's a word that describes what I'm acting like/

When you lover her like crazy,

That's what you are,

You don't think,

You just follow your heart/

Am I a Fool, outta my mind,

Yeah, well maybe,

But that's how it is when you love her like crazy/

Am I a Fool, outta my mind,

She's my baby,

And that's how it is when you love her like crazy,

Like crazy…

Carlisle's Pov

No words could express the emotions surging around in my body, as we ran. I was depressed, angry, sorrowful, intrigued, upset, happy, disappointed, and lost, all at the same time. The decisions my family and I had made, had clearly caused Bella nothing but pain and grief. We left her, and never once checked on her. We failed her in all ways that counted, but I was now determined to never let her down again. And, that was why I need to meet, Haley.

Throughout the run from Anchorage to Denali, Tanya, gushed about the sweet little girl. But there were a lot of things she stopped herself from saying. By the time the large cabin, came into view, I was extremely nervous, but not exactly sure why.

Tanya came to an abrupt stop mere feet from her front door. She spun around and said, " Haley is out with Carmen, but they'll be back soon….I think you should read Bella's journals Carlisle….so you will know her whole story….and Haley's." She grabbed my hand and lead me into the house. She took me to her bedroom and gave me a seat on the couch. She then, disappeared through a large door for a few seconds, before returning with a box. Sitting beside me, she sat the small box on the floor.

"Carlisle…some of these are…..really hard to read….I just want you to prepare yourself." Tanya said as she handed me the first journal. I just took a deep breath and nodded sadly, before I began, because I had to know the whole story if I was ever to help her; or know enough to take care of her currently "motherless" child.

The first entry began in January, mere months after we had left. It talked of her pain, from loosing Edward and all of us. The journal entries continued each and every day, and Bella's story turned more tragic with each page. Tanya continued to hand me journal after journal, as I read them front to back. She would hold my hand or pat my back soothingly when I cried out in horror, she cooed me when I sobbed in despair, and she gave a needed hug, once I finished them all.

"How could we have left her, with out anything?" I sobbed, as Tanya hugged me tightly. She comforted me, even though I could tell she was still angry with me and my family.

"That's…..well fuck Carlisle….that's just something you and your family are going to have to live with. Something that's blame is placed more heavily on some, more than others. But, Carlisle, even though I am mad at you….it wasn't truly your fault this happened to her….it's definitely someone else's (she muttered, under her breath)….but, you can't change the past…..only the future.…...Bella….Bella needs you, she needs your family….and we all know your family has needed her too….You need to be strong for her, and for them….." She cooed as Carmen and Eleazar appeared in the doorway, I gave them a weak smile.

"Carmen, Eleazar….is nice to see you again." Nodding at their approaching forms.

Tanya stood up and smiled brightly, as she walked towards them, only to stop, and step to the side, so the conversation could flow between us all. "Did she have fun?" She asked Carmen in excitement.

"I think so, but you'll have to ask her yourself, she can't wait to tell you about her day." Carmen said with a twinkle in her eye. Whom ever they were talking about, they clearly loved dearly; I just hoped they didn't began messing with immortal children again. My mind reeled at the thought, they memories of the heartache and pain it had all caused. But my mind was halted when I realized, who they were talking about. I hadn't paid attention to the sounds around me, my mind had been so full of…well, everything, at the time. But as Tanya, giggled with glee, the sounds of tiny footsteps, and an excited heartbeat were heard in the hallway.

Seconds later the most beautiful child appeared between Carmen and Eleazar. She pushed and wiggled her way through them into the room. She was small, but clearly well taken care of and healthy. Her porcelain skin, reminded me of her mother's, however, the child's skin, had the most breathtakingly beautiful, pink glow to it. She had thick curly bronze hair, that fell way past her shoulders, just as her mother's had the last time I had seen her. But her hair was not the same as her mother's; no, it was an odd color, one I had only seen on two other people in my entire existence. I stared at her small form, waiting, and wanting to see her face. In Bella's journals, she had describe this child as looking similar to Edward, even though she never really went into deep detail. Of course it had to be because of the hair, the color matched Edwards almost identically. Only the curls, and the few strands here and there of a almost brown, made it slightly darker. Only a vampire would see the difference.

I was sure her face was as pure and ethereal as her mother's had been, and her eyes probably the same deep chocolate color. But, my wish had not been granting, for, her small chubby fingers clutched a candy apple, that her down cast eyes had been staring at, I'm sure, hungrily, as she made her way into the room.

"Tanya! The carnival was so much fun! I got you a candied apple!" She said happily as she thrusted the apple upwards, towards Tanya's awaiting hands.

"Did you now. Well that is just so sweet of you Haley, I love apples!" Tanya exclaimed, as she gazed at the child, in wonderment and love.

"Uh huh! And it was so funny, You shoulda been there! It was so much fun, we wode wides, and we ate yummy food…but, I don't sank Carmen likes cawotton candy! She made funny faces as she ate some of mine!…Oh! And we took funny picture in the booth thingy! Oh you should have been there, it was so much fun….I can't wait to tell mommy!" The child said as she jumped up and down, causing us all to laugh, at her excitement.

I hadn't had a reason to laugh for years, and as a loud chuckle leapt from my lips and its sound reached her ears, she stopped her jumping abruptly. First, all I saw were her bouncy bronze curls whip around her face. Then as they fell, the soft beauty of her sweet baby face….though angular, with straight defined lines, but….. yet somehow, still containing the fullness from her baby fat came into full view. My heart warmed as I saw glimpses of her mother, but my breathe caught as her intense emerald eyes landed on mine, and I realized she also had features similar to my son. I took in a shaky breath as I stared in awe of the beautiful child. If Bella and the human Edward, would have ever procreated, this is exactly what I believed their child would look like. There was no mistaking the striking resemblance Haley, had to my son. If nothing else, even if she didn't have his hair color or strong facial features, she had his eyes, and the thick dark lashes that surrounded them.

She stared at me for a while squinting her eyes and tilting her head side to side. As if she was trying to read my mind, or find something within my soul. She rubbed her green eyes, blinked a few times and continued to stare. I began to worry that I scared her for some reason, but as soon as the thought crossed my mind, a huge smile broke out upon her face. I smiled back as she walked slowly, but confidently towards me.

She stopped as she reached the couch I was sitting on. The room was so quiet only the beating of her heart, and her slow and even breaths could be heard. She studied my face for a few minutes, as she smiled widely towards me. Then ever so slowly, but very determined, she reached up and touched my face. Her little sticky fingers traced my nose, and eyes, and then tugged on my blonde hair. She retracted her hand as she leaned in towards my ear.

"I know you" She whispered quietly, as if telling me a deep secret; however everyone had heard it.

"Really?" I whispered back, feeling quite entertained by this small child's boldness.

"Uh huh…..Your….your Grandpa Carwhile." She whispered again, and once again everyone of course heard her. But unlike them, I was in shock. I stopped breathing completely, my mind racing with thousands of questions.

This child knew exactly who I was, but believed I was her………Grandpa? I let her question and my own, roll around in my head, before I remembered all the journal entries, Bella had written. Everyday it had told of the nap time, and bed time story she would share with Haley. It was Bella's way of giving Haley, a family…a loving family. Bella would tell Haley, often that the Cullens were not real, but, Haley, had told her "they're real to me mommy" the day Bella went into a coma. And so of course, Haley, believed I was her grandfather.

This poor child had none one, except her mother, and a world that "didn't exist", where she had a family that loved her; my family. Every psychology degree I had, was working in over time, I was trying to figure out what I should do. Haley was not my granddaughter, and even though I loved Bella, as my own , I was not her father. I had no idea what to do, I wasn't sure what was right or what was wrong, and more importantly how Bella, would want me to handle this situation. I continued analyze, as Haley turned and shrugged at the others, my face blank and frozen in place, due to my intense concentration. My decision was made though, as her green eyes looked back at me with so much love and hope.

"Yes" I choked out, before I even knew what I was saying.

"I knew you would come for us one day, I knew you were real" She said lovingly as she crawled onto my sitting form, and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck. I froze, for never in all my years, had I spoke before I made an educated decision, and never before had I felt such unadulterated love for a being I had just met.

"I'm sorry I took so long" I sobbed out as I wrapped my arms around her small warm body, as tearless sobs of pain and regret wracked my body for the hundredth time today. She just sat there in my lap, clutching me tightly as I cried, for her, for her mother, and for my family.

"It's ok Grandpa Carwhile…don't cry…I still love you….I'm happy you're here" She said sweetly as patted my back; in a grownup manner.

"I know precious….I know" I sobbed out. Finally after I couldn't find the energy to sob any longer, she released her grasp on me and sat back to stare me in the face.

"So purdy" She chirped as she stared at me.

"Yes you are precious" I smiled sweetly at her.

"Not me silly…you!….you're prettier than I thought you would be" She said as her chubby hand cupped my cheek, and I couldn't help but lean into it. How could one not fall in love with this little angel.

"My beauty doesn't compare to yours though, precious" I cooed back to her, she blushed crimson.

"Thank you" she said shyly.

"Uh….Haley, How about I take you down stairs so you can change your clothes. Grandpa Carlisle has had a very long day, he probably needs to………take a nap….uh…and after we change your clothes, I can make you some hot coco" Tanya sang sweetly, enticing the child. Haley's eyes squinted at my face as she pursed her dark pink lips in indecision.

"Marshwellows?" she questioned, with an eyebrow raised and as if it was the deciding factor.

"Of course" Tanya said quickly, which caused a squeal to emit from Haley's awaiting face.

"Ok" She said quickly, leaving a kiss on my cheek, before she crawled off my lap and ran towards Tanya. She grasped Tanya's hand and they began to make their way out of the room, when she stopped abruptly.

"You'll be here right? You won't go away something?" She questioned hopeful, and once again she broke my heart.

"I'll never leave you precious" I nodded in return. She just smiled brightly at me as she turned on her heel and waltzed out the door with Tanya, talking animatedly about her day at the zoo. I collapsed in to the couch as soon as her tiny form could no longer be seen. Even with all the happiness I felt surrounding Haley, the memories of what I had read in the journals came flooding back to me; and, I once again had no clue what to do.

"I know this is hard for you Carlisle…..it's a lot to take in all at once." Eleazar stated sadly.

"Wha-what do I d-d-do?" I asked unsure, as Carmen walked over lifted my head, sat down, and placed my head in her lap.

"You do the only thing you can…..be strong for your granddaughter" She stated simply, while running her hand through my hair, in an effort to soothe me.

"How?"

"Love her…..call your family, get them here…give her the family she deserves. Play with her, teach her, be a Grandfather…..but for God's sake, get off that couch, stop crying and be strong for her" Eleazar said softly.

"Your right" I said sitting up and straightening out my disheveled clothes.

"You don't have to have all the answers right now…you don't have to instantly accept everything that has happened. It will take time to heal the pain and regret, it will take time to accept what has happened to her……but Bella, needs you and your family right now….she also has the ability to rebuild what you all have destroyed……let her" Carmen cooed.

"I need to call Esme first, I need my wife by my side….I guess call Rosalie too. It's going to be the hardest on her…no, not on her….on Edward" I said, determined as I sat up and reached for the small shiny silver cell phone in my pocket.

"I think it would be best to just focus on the other kids first….everyone is going to have to accept what happened, and use it to be strong, before Edward is brought in" Eleazar said quietly. I nodded my head in agreement; my family's durability will truly be tested that day.

***************

It was 7:00pm, I had called Rosalie and Emmett, and Esme; they would be arriving in the morning. I had been sitting in Eleazar's office making copies of Bella's journals. I wanted my family to read Bella's journals at the same time. Because, I knew that once they began to read even the first paragraph, grief would take over, and that the others would be left wondering what was wrong. So, if they read at the same time, they would finish around the same time, and they all could lean on each other, fully educated in the seriousness of the situation.

I was finishing up the last page of the last journal when the door to the office opened. I looked up from the desk to see a very sleepy and very adorable Haley, shuffling in, wearing a pair of pink footie pajamas, and clutching a small thick blanket. She didn't say anything as she slowly shuffled her feet across the floor, and ended up behind the desk, beside my chair. I swiveled to face her and gave her a smile.

"Grandpa Carwhile?" She asked.

"Yes precious?" I responded.

"I can't sweep" She huffed.

"Why not precious"

"My mommy always tells me a breadtime story…..But she's not here….and Tanya says mommy was weally tired, and needed to sleep for a weally wong time….I want her to sweap if she's sweapy….But, mommy will wake up soon right? Cuz I miss her a lot". She said so innocently.

"I hope she wakes up soon, I miss her too"

"You do?" She asked quizzically, as she took it upon her self to climb into my lap and lay her head on my chest.

"Yes, very much so"

"I sink she loves you a lot, too, ya know?" She said sweetly as she looked up from my chest with her large green eyes.

"Does she?"

"uh huh….in the stories she would tell me, she would talk about you, like you were……like you were…..like you were one of the bestest people ever" She said before she yawned.

"Well, your mother is one of the best people I have ever known…"

"Grandpa?"

"Yes precious"

"She always said you weren't real….but I knew you had to be……why would she say you were just pretend?"

"Well, because she believed I was gone forever."

"So…You and everyone….just…went away….why?….." She asked innocently.

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain…..but, how about I tell you a story?"

"Is it a real one or a pretend one?"

"A real one….it's the story of how I met your mother…..of how she became like a daughter to me"

"I haven't heard this one yet." she replied sleepily as she snuggled down into my hard chest, and I wrapped the blanket she had tightly around her.

"Years ago I lived in the town of Forks, with my family"

"Grandma Esme?" She asked innocently, as I sucked in a quick breath.

"Yes Grandma Esme, and all our kids."

"Oh ok" she snuggled down again.

"On your mother's first day of school she caught the……attention…..of my son Edward. He tried to resist……liking her too much. But she was too beautiful and too…….sweet. She found Edward intriguing and…..special. Edward saved her life at school, and she saved his humanity-" She cut me off.

"What human-attity, Grandpa?"

"Well, precious, it means, the qualities or characteristics considered as a whole to be characteristic of a human being."

"And what does all that mean?" She giggled tiredly.

"Right….talking to a three and half year old…….uh…it means she saved him from turning into something or someone that wouldn't been….like, human…."

"What do you mean not human?" She asked half-asleep

"Uhh…bad analogy....ummm.."

"What's an annnalaolagy?" She asked, with her eyes closed, making me wonder if she just talked in her sleep.

"Do you want to here the story?" I asked amused.

"Yes….but I wanna understand it" She said as she sat up, and looked me straight in the face. I was taken back, she wasn't being bratty or anything…she just truly wanted to understand. And I realized now how smart this child really was, even though she would pronounce her words right all the time, she was far advanced for her age.

"Ok…..how about….your mother's love, made him experience things and emotions that he never had before. And because he had never felt those things before her, he was moody and kind of mean, and the family thought he was going to become….like a statue, just no emotions, no life, just something that took up space…..you see …..her love made a grumpy, sometimes mean….person….become a happy, gracious, living breathing, loving son" I smiled down at her.

"Oh…..ok" She said before he yawned and snuggled even closer.

"Anyway…After spending time together, my son decided to allow himself to love and be loved….so she completely captured his heart, and they fell deeply in love. Their love was strong and intense, even when…..outside sources, threatened to tear them apart. My whole family was gracious that your mom had given Edward, the gift of love, that she had turned his heart of…stone, in a warm and loving, beating one. For Edward no longer needed his own heart, because it beat inside your mother's chest." I stopped too look down at her, to make sure she was understanding the story. I hadn't realized she had dozed off, so I just sat there and stared down at the sleeping angel in my arms and smiled.

I figured that I would finish telling her the story someday, except now I hoped it had a happy ending. None the less, even though my wife was my reason for being….the pure contentment I felt as I held my new found grandchild tightly to my chest, was now my other reason for living. The sound and feel of her tiny beating heart made me feel complete. I had never completely understood what Edward meant when he had said it, but now I do. I no longer needed my own heart, for, the only one would ever need, beat inside the tiny chest, of the small child in my arms. I had never given any thought to being a grandpa, but if this was what I had to look forward to, then I would gladly take the role.

AN: Please review, I work extremely hard on this story, and a little note from you makes it worth it!!!!