Act 4: Bloody Teardrops on my Guitar

Lisa walks quietly through a dark forest alone, heading towards Castlevania. "These are the directions. Follow the path of red dirt." The red dirt is actually blood. She doesn't even notice this. "Might as well read as I walk. That's not dangerous in anyway."

She reads out loud. "Lord Dracula is an evil vampire that live in Castlevania…." She passes by a large sign, which reads, 'Welcome to Castlevania'.

"In this realm, it is always night time. Beware, Lord Dracula's right hand man is Death."

Suddenly, Death starts frolicking around the forest. "Oh! Lord Dracula! Of course I'll fly with you!" Lisa doesn't even notice him.

"Many hunters have fought Lord Dracula." She starts walking over dozens of dead bodies. "But many have failed."

She finally reaches the front doors of Castlevania….but she's still reading. "If the doors of Castlevania open, never enter them…" The door opens and she walks right in.

She lowers the book. "Wow…this Dracula guy must be pretty bad." She gasps as she notices her surroundings. The walls bleed with blood. Bats screech and echo across the room. A werewolf is playing Street Fighter 4, as he screams and shouts at how much he sucks at it. Lisa gasps, "I made it to the castle! Sweet! Where's Lord Drake!?"

Death suddenly appears near her. "Jesus Anti-Christ, you're stupid!"

"I'm what?"

"Nothing."

"Wait….aren't you Sir Dean?"

"Actually, I'm really Death."

Lisa nods. "Oh…" She thinks for a minute, and then gasps. "So….you're not homosexual?"

Death opens his skull mouth to speak, but then slowly looks away. "No…" He stares at the ceiling. "I'm not…."

Dracula suddenly bursts into the room. "Hello."

"Wow!" Lisa looks towards Dracula. "Did you do something to your hair? And your teeth? And your skin? And your…"

"That's enough darling." Dracula takes the book she was reading. "What are you reading my sweet?" As he reads the title, he suddenly drops the book. "The Evils of the Disgusting Lord Dracula." His face turns cold with anger and betrayal. "How….dare you…."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know you hated fiction."

"YOU VIXEN!" He barges out of the room.

"Lord Dracula, wait!" Death rushes after him.

Lisa gasps. "Wait….Lord Dracula? HE'S LORD DRACULA! OH MY GOD!" Lisa begins running and screaming around the castle.

Dracula sits on his throne. "DAMNIT! I HATE EVERYTHING!"

"Lord Dracula! You must calm down!"

"MY INNER GERARD BUTLER IS COMING OUT!"

Death suddenly calms. "Really? What's that like?" Death begins wrapping his hood's cloth around his finger.

"…….Do you think there is still a chance?"

Death thinks for a moment. "I think there is a chance for everything." Death begins daydreaming.

Daydream:

"Come on, Death. The lot of us!" Dracula and Death talk to each other in a dark pond, surrounded by bright lights and trees. The sky shines with stars. "We'll see the world suffer together!"

Death suddenly starts crying. "I….I can't…."

Dracula's face of enjoyment turns to sadness. He then smiles towards Death and walks up to him. He puts his hands on his shoulders. "Death…"

Death looks up in sadness. Dracula proceeds to kiss Death. The two fall into the water as they together reenact the kissing scene from Final Fantasy X.

Death smiles to himself. "Not until the end…always…."

"Death! Find me something to drink, and something else to break!"

Death giggles happily. "Yes my Lord Dracula!"

Dracula sits on his throne. "I hate love." Dracula snaps his finger. "Randomly created mirror to symbolize the mirror from the Disney Beauty and the Beast movie. Show me Lisa!"

The mirror suddenly shows a girl dressed in a red nurse outfit. She speaks sadly. "I get it now. Why I'm still alive even though everyone else is dead. I'm not the only one still walking around."

"NOT LISA FROM SILENT HILL, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Dracula kicks the mirror across the room. "I hate love! I hate mirrors. I hate everything!" Dracula scratches the armrest of his throne. "There's a hole in the world, like a great black pit. And it's full of people who are filled with shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it…."

Medusa peaks into the room. "NO SWEENY TODD REFERENCES!"

"I hate you!"

"Yeah! I heard that one, Anakin Skywalker! Go cut yourself!" Medusa walks away grumbling. "Seriously, walk it off you pussy! I'll take these matters into my own hands."