Standard disclaimer : I do not own Bleach.
15 Truths About Shinigami
Chapter 4 : Byakuya
1. On a certain 31st January some thousands years ago, a baby boy was born, much to delight of the entire Kuchiki clan. It was his fate to be born and raised as the 28th heir of the clan, and his destiny to become the strongest clan head ever in the clan's history. It was written in his name, Kuchiki Byakuya.
2. His parents died when he was very young. He didn't shed a tear during the funeral. It was undignified for the Nobles to openly express their grief or any other emotions. He was taught so and so he never cried. But Byakuya always remembered that it was a rainy day that day. The true reason why he didn't cry was because the sky already cried for him.
3. They taught him everything they deemed necessary: how to act, how to speak, how to fight, how to lead… everything a clan head needed to know, but nobody was there to teach or guide him in how to love as a man. He had everything yet there was an emptiness in his heart until she came into his life. Hisana, a name that changed his life forever.
4. Hisana was everything Byakuya was not yet she was everything he could ever wish for. Nobody understood his choice of marrying this commoner, his clan least of all. He shocked everyone with his resolution to made her his wife and his refusal to settle for anything less. That was the first time he ever went against the rules, but he had no regrets for it was also the first time he was truly happy and content with his life.
5. Fate gave her to him but Death took her away on a spring morning before the Sakura bloomed. Not even him, a death god could stop it. Death is merciless. Her time with him was as short as the Sakura blossom but the memories of her came back to haunt him every spring, long after her death.
6. Byakuya never made a promise lightly; once he made one he meant to keep it no matter what, even if it meant he would have to break the rules once more for her. He had promised her that he would find her younger sister and protect her under his strength. So, in the year following her death when he finally found her sister, he immediately adopted her into his family despite the protests of his clan.
7. For that reason, Byakuya made another promise in his life – he swore on his parents' grave that from that moment, under any circumstances, he would abide by the rules. He seemed to remain stoic and apathetic when he heard of Rukia's execution. But he was far from that in truth. His feelings were carefully masked but not non-existent. He was facing constant struggles and conflicts inside on which promise he should keep, because no matter which promise he chose to keep, he would inevitably break the other one. It was the hardest choice he ever made.
8. Just when he had finally decided he would abide by the laws, his lieutenant Abarai Renji, of all the people, had chosen to defy his decision. Not to mention there were also the ryoukas. Another thing he didn't expect was Renji going as far as using Bankai against him. He won the fight, but Renji's determination had shaken him. Indeed the gap between them was still great, and Renji still had much to learn and close it, but Renji had still managed to prove that though his fangs had yet to bite him, they could touch him. As a sign of his acknowledgement, he left his white scarf behind.
9. At the execution ground, Byakuya didn't glance at Rukia even once. But he knew she was watching him even as she was lifted to the air and the execution began. He knew he had failed both Hisana and her by abiding by the laws. They would never forgive him and he didn't expect them to. That was the price he would pay. But that was not to be. That ryouka, Ichigo saved Rukia this time, along with Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyouraku. He was furious. How dare they ignore the laws? He would not allow it to happen. He would see Rukia's execution through until the end.
10. He fought long and hard with Ichigo. He had to admit that the ryouka boy grew stronger each time they fight. This time he was forced to fight with his full strength and release the final form of his Bankai to gain upper hand. In the end, he was still defeated by that boy. That was when he realized that boy wasn't fighting against him but against the laws and the whole of Soul Society, so much like Kaien, the man he once knew. He had lost.
11. Somewhere in his heart, he suddenly found a new resolution. If this boy couldn't save his sister, he would save her himself. It almost seemed like he was going to break both promises that he had made, but he had made it in time - to save Rukia before it was too late. For that, Byakuya was glad that he lost to Ichigo in their fight because in the end, that boy was right. He didn't need a promise to save Rukia. He was her brother and that reason alone was sufficient to save her. It was as simple as that. He was just too blind to see it before.
12. It was amazing what one would say or do when one thought he was going to die. The words one would say at this last moment of life are probably the truest. He finally had the courage to tell Rukia the secret that he had kept from her all these years. "I'm sorry." he apologized, but Rukia only held his hands quietly. She was telling him in her own way that if there was anything to forgive at all, she had already forgiven him.
13. Even then, there were still other things that Byakuya hadn't told Rukia. For example, he hadn't told her he could never look her directly in the eye because of her great resemblance of his beloved wife, Hisana. He didn't want her to see the sorrow and agony in his eyes when their eyes met. Therefore he always kept his distance, watching and protecting her from a distance. What he didn't foresee was the distance he kept to keep her safe had hurt her in more ways than he thought.
14. During his unconsciousness, Byakuya saw Hisana again. It felt so real that he felt like he could almost reach out and touch her. He had missed her and her touch so much. He didn't even care if he was dead. All he had ever wanted was nothing more but to stay with her. But she smiled and shook her head. She murmured before darkness took him again, "Live, Byakuya-sama. They need you."
15. Later when Byakuya was healed and rested in the Fourth Division's hospital, he began to contemplate about everything that had happened. In the end, nothing went like what he had expected, but it didn't seem to matter any more. Some things were more important than that. Everyone was alive. Rukia and Renji forgave him. Maybe, it was also time that he forgave who he considered the biggest transgressor: himself.
A/N: Wow, I finally get to write him, Byakuya! Most of the events here are canon although I interpret it in my own way. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy reading. Thanks.