Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy - because if I did, this show itself would be much crazier.

Author's Note: Okay, so this chapter is all about Alex. It's mainly his perspective. I know you guys totally want to read about him, instead of Izzie right now. (Even though Izzie's life is on the line and there's so much suspense and drama) I just figured you'd be bored with that and would rather read about Alex's feelings. I decided to make this chapter all about him and make you have to wait to find out about Izzie's fate. I guess I'm doing that because I'm just mean that way. =O Alright, so on to the reading! -because the faster you read and review this chapter, the faster I'll be able to get the next chapter (which I promise will be about Izzie) out and on the stands-

Haha, and yes. I deleted this chapter and then had to reload it into fanfiction due to some technical bug. So once again, my apologies if there is any confusion. There are definitely not two new chapters tonight. Sorry.

Anything

Chapter 4

By Blue Scrubs

"I...Alex, no matter what, I...I love you!" cried Izzie.

"I..." started Alex. He looked away. "I'm disillusioned."

She couldn't possibly be confessing to him. That was utterly... unfeasible. He couldn't look at her. Not with her hopeless expression. He couldn't look at how he was tearing her apart. But...why was he tearing he tearing her apart? She had just exposed her feelings to him and he had shut her down. It was done with. He couldn't take it back.

Alex turned and walked to his car. He opened the door and climbed in, slamming the door behind him. He couldn't face her like this when he was so confused. He shoved his key into the ignition and and started up the car. He backed out slowly backed out of the parking lot, taking one last glimpse of Izzie.

She was standing like a statue in the pelting rain. Her clothes clung to her like skin and her face was down-turned. He saw what he thought could possibly be tears, and her eyes were shut tightly. Her fists were balled up and she looked totally defeated. Her frame seemed so willowy now. Now that he had thought about it, she had seemed to have lost a lot of weight recently. She always looked tired and exhausted, and plenty of times he saw the sweat pour down her face as she seemed the struggle against some invisible force.

He looked away again, and guided his car out of the parking lot. He left the person that his heart was aching for in that parking lot. But he kept moving. He wouldn't hurt her again.

Alex couldn't bare the look of disappointment Izzie's face had when he had screwed up and had done Nurse Olivia. And then again when he had kissed her so soon after Denny's death. She had been so upset both times. But now he was done with even trying.

Alex knew that if he became friends with Izzie, like she was begging him to, that he would just end up desiring her all the time. And if their relationship got more complicated then 'just being friends' he would end up hurting her again, because that's what he did. He always hurt the people he loved.

He drove straight home. He got out of the car and ran into the house. What he needed was one of Izzie's miracle muffins. He needed to feel better.

While he was rummaging through the cupboard, he heard the front door open and close.

"Hey, so I was wondering if maybe you would..." Meredith trailed off. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were Derek."

"No problem," sighed Alex, chewing on a cupcake.

"Oh, cupcake problems?" asked Meredith, sitting down the the table.

"No, Izzie problems," clarified Alex through his eating.

"I'm all ears," replied Meredith, propping herself up to listen.

"It's nothing," said Alex.

"Aw, don't tell me you two had another lover's quarrel?" joked Meredith.

"No."

"Oh?"

"She... she said she, erm, liked me," explained Alex wearily.

"Did you tell her you liked her back?" questioned Meredith. She knew that Alex had been pining for Izzie for awhile now. Though their relationship had been tough, she thought that this was the break through that they needed to have a thriving love.

"Not exactly," muttered Alex, putting his head in his hands.

"Oh my god, Alex. You screwed up again, didn't you?" demanded Meredith.

"Well..." started Alex.

"Alex! This was your prime opportunity to tell her you liked her back! This-I-howthehelldidyouscrewthisup?!" yelled Meredith, clearly frustrated. Alex could be so dense sometimes and it was so infuriating.

"Ok, ok! I said that I was disillusioned," confessed Alex.

"Wow, Alex. You really are an ass," said Meredith, standing up angrily.

"I don't know what to say to her," sighed Alex. "I don't want to hurt her again."

"And saying that you don't like the fact that she likes you is really going to help matters?" asked Meredith, throwing a hand in the air to emphasize her point.

"I just don't know what to do!"

"You need to march right back to that hospital, and you need to tell her that you like her too. Get down on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness. Buy flowers and chocolates. Scrawl it across your forehead. Just get the point across that you like her!" spouted Meredith, storming out of the room.

"Geez," muttered Alex, rolling his eyes. Why was Meredith so pissed at him? So what if he screwed up? It's not like Izzie really cared or whatever. Alex angrily spit out the remaining piece of the cupcake he had been chewing, and threw out the rest. He didn't have to depend on that dizzy blond. It didn't matter. He was perfectly capable of surviving without her.

Alex threw on his coat and grabbed his keys. He knew what he'd do now. He would march right back to Izzie and tell her to stop messing with his life. Because of her Meredith was mad at him now. It was all her fault. Why the hell did she have to confess that she liked him now? Why not long ago?

Alex jumped in his car and started up the engine. He put the car into reverse and swiftly left his parking spot.

Yes. He would give that stupid idiot a piece of his mind.

Please review.

--Blue Scrubs