I am so so sorry I haven't updated sooner I had a bloody cold all last week plus with revision for my exams I've had no time to update. Well I hope you like this chapter- deanie

disclaimer: I do not own twlight

last chapter:

I bite my lip to suppress a moan.

I am so going to hell

Bella pov:

The drive to the Cullens house was a quiet one. With me having an internal battle about my growing feelings for Jasper and Jasper looked like he was up in the clouds in thought as well. I guess he must be worrying about Alice. Before we both knew it we were pulling up outside the mansion the Cullen family call home.

Jasper being the southern gentleman he is rushed around the car with vampire speed and helped me out.

" Don't want you hurting yourself with the doctor out do we darlin?" He said while helping me out and all I can do is freaking blush. I really need to grow a pair of balls and stop blushing at the most minute things. I decide to change the subject quickly.

" So what are we going to do today cowboy?" I don't realise till it comes out of my mouth that I just called Jasper, cowboy, really smooth Bella. He quirks his eyebrow at me and trying to be indifferent I shrug. He chuckles and taps his head in a knowing matter. Oh frick frick frickerson he can feel my feelings does that mean he's noticed me being lustful towards him all this time? Please god let him think I was thinking of Edward I promise I'll be a good girl.

I am brought out of my thoughts by Jasper shaking my shoulders.

" Bella calm down its fine I don't mind you calling me cowboy it's quite amusing actually. Plus I live in a house with Emmett I've had worse nicknames. As for what we are doing today I don't mind you're the guest it's up to you." He told me all this while sending calming waves to me while his voice is easily calming me the same time. Deep breaths Bella you'll be fine he doesn't know what's going on in your mind.

" Ok do you mind telling me more about the civil war? It might surprise but I'm a major history buff and I'd love to know what someone from that time thought of the war." Plus I want to learn all about you I add in my mind. Jasper looks surprised that I want to learn about the war is it really that shocking? His face showily transforms into a blinding smile geeze I'm going to need sunglasses.

" It would be my pleasure Bella the family have got tired of hearing about the war and I miss talking about ." He ended with a wistful look on his face.

" So re we going to stand outside all day or are we going to go inside for you to tell me about your interesting human life?" It was cold outside and my hands were turning red. He seemed to realise this little fact and quickly headed to the door me close on his heel. Instead of heading to the living room like I expected Jasper started climbing up the stairs. He must have felt my confusion because he looked at me over his shoulder with a sheepish grin.

" It will be better if we went to my study to talk it has a few of my things from back when I was human that I can show you. Unless you don't want to of course we can always stay in the living room." He was adorable when he's excited you could see his eyes light up at the prospect of telling tales of his pass. How could I not realise these things about him before. I admit that I didn't really have much time to spend with Jasper, I was either being dragged shopping with Alice, listening to Edward play his music in his room or playing video games with Emmett. It seems like Edward and Alice were afraid of me being around Jasper before my birthday disaster and even more when they returned. They must have been afraid that he'd lose control,which he admittedly did. But I was a human girl bleeding in a room of six vampires and I'm Edwards singer, bloodlust is a feeling people and I'm pretty sure Jasper was feeling it full force.

Anyway rant in mind over I realised I am just standing here looking like a mindless zombie while Jasper is looking at me in concern. Do something Bella he's going to start thinking you're mentally unstable which is a possibility right now.

I start nodding my head up and down like a bobble head. Sexy Bella no boy will be able to resist you now. " Umm going up to your study is Er ...fine . Are there any pictures from when you were human?" Nice change the subject onto him so he doesn't have more time to think you're a freak. He scrutinises me one last time to make sure I'm ok before he carries on walking replying to my question on the way.

" Yeah there are a few but remember cameras didn't really exist then we had the ones where you had to stand still for ages to take one picture and their not the best quality. Old fashioned black and white so don't be expecting much." He jokes and I'm so glad he's not calling Carlisle to come check if I have a mental disability.

" Don't worry grampa I now how old you are so I'm not expecting too much when you are telling me about the olden days. And about ow the youths today don't know how good they have it." It was much easier joking with Jasper than it was Edward . Edward just seemed to take everything too serious that you have to explain everything to him. Like if I called him gramps he would start a rant about me calling him a pedophile , trust me its happened before.

" Hardy ha ha Bella. You've got to admit I'm quite good looking for my age I believe the youths these days would call me a GILF." At this we both burst out laughing I had tears running down my face. Though on the inside I was screaming that i thought he was a gilf. We manoeuvre more around the house till we reach a hallway I don't remember ever going down with only two doors.

" This is my private place in the house that door to the left leads to my wardrobe which Alice insists I need since I spend most of my time here. And this door right here leads to my safe heaven." He explains while opening tThe door to one of the most beautiful rooms I'd ever seen. It has a high ceiling which is made out of what looks like pure oak panels and three out of the four walls were also fitted with these panels. The other wall was a rich warm brown with doors leading out to a balcony which if you looked closely you can see a leather rocking chair. The room was furnished with book cases lining one of the panel walls filled with many books from war documentaries to the classics which all look like fist additions. On another wall was what I assumed was Jaspers uniform form the army next to an American flag. Below them was a large leather couch which looks like the most comfiest thing in the world. What surprised me though was what was next to the couch and the French doors leading to the balcony. In the corner of the room on a stand was a beautiful acoustic guitar.

" You play guitar?" I tried to hide the shock in my voice if he tells me he can sing as well he is the perfect man. Scratch that he's already the perfect man but being able to sing and play guitar is the sexiest thing ever. He looks at me with a shy smile.

" Yeah I do and I sing too but shush its a secret only Alice and Edward walls in this room are sound proof so the rest of the family don't know." He actually seemed quite shy about his music and I swear if he was human he would be blushing right now.

"Can I hear you play something?Pretty please with a cherry on top?" I tried to do my best puppy pout. He seemed reluctant but he can see I'm not giving up. With a big sigh he gets his guitar and sits on the couch motioning for me to join him.

"Bella this is Scarlet she's my baby. I'm going to do a song that I think will set the mood for my story and pardon me if I'm not that good Im not used to an audience." He lurches the guitar on his lap and starts playing the intro to the song I immediately recognise it as till the last shots fired by Trace Adkins .Then he started to sing and I swear my insides just melted by a fire which has started in my northern regions.

I was there in the winter of '64

When we camped in the eyes of Nashville's doors

Three hundred miles our trail had led

We barley had time to bury our dead

When the Yankees charged and the colours fell

Overton hill was a living hell

When we called retreat it was almost dark

I died with a grapeshot in my heart

Say a prayer for peace

For every fallen son

Set my spirit free

Let me lay down my gun

Sweet mother Mary I'm so tired

But I can't come home 'til the last shots fired

In June on 1944

I waited in the blood of Omaha's shores

Twenty-one and scared to death

My heart pounding in my chest

I almost made the first seawall

When my friends turned and saw me fall

I still smell the smoke I can taste the mud

As I lay there dying from a loss of blood

Say a prayer for peace

For every fallen son

Set my spirit free

Let me lay down my gun

Sweet mother Mary I'm so tired

But I can't come home 'til the last shots fired

I'm in the fields of Vietnam

The mountains of Afghanistan

And I'm still hopin',waintin', prayin'

I did not die in vain

Say a prayer for peace

For every fallen son

Set my spirit free

Let me lay down my gun

Sweet mother Mary I'm so tired

But I can't come home 'til the last shots fired

I don't know what came over me but I started singing the next part of the song Jaspers music just absorbed me and I got lost in the moment.

Bell:

Say a prayer for peace

For our daughters and our sons

Set our spirits free

Let us lay down our guns

Jasper:

Sweet mother Mary we're so tired

But we can't come home

Bella:

No we can't come home

'Til the last shots fired

As the music faded out on guitar me and Jasper were just staring into each others eyes I thought I saw a glimpse of love in his eyes but I guess that's just wishful thinking. There no denying it now tough even though everything else in the world seems mucked up right now there's one thing I'm certain of. And that's that I'm in love with Jasper.

Jasper pov:

While I was staring into Bella's beautiful chocolate brown eyes after she finished singing I couldn't help but let some of my true emotions show. I could feel love radiating of her and it hurts to know that she was thinking of Edward at that moment. What other reason would she be having these feelings. It's been a while since I've started noticing Bella in a different way. Alice has started acting more distant so I've had more time to notice Bella .And it hurts to admit it but I'm falling for her my own brothers fiancé and I know I can never have her.

Sooo what do you think please review and tell me your opinions and I'll try to update as soon as possible- much love Deanie.x