So, I am sorry about all the flashbacks, and the whole chapter is not solemn and sad so if you stick around to the end I promise you will love it! There's a little bit of christmassy goodness coming your way! :)

"Clarke? Clarke are you okay ?" Clarke could faintly hear Bellamy calling to her and felt him shaking her but none of it registers, instead she sits there, staring at the man she'd ran from, the man she once loved. He looked normal, so normal, like the first time she'd met him. She was so naive, just a young girl of fourteen. Nothing but a stupid teenager. Looking for love, actively seeking it out, like she'd seen in all the movies and of course there he was, the new kid in her algebra class who demanded he sit next to her. It was cliché really, the kid who couldn't do math sitting next to the girl who had the best grades. He charmed her right away. She actually thought he was the one that would fill the hole that was left when her father had died, but boy was she wrong. It started off great, he was exactly the person she thought he could be, kind and kept her distracted from her mess-of-a-life.

Flashback

It was Clarke's first date with Dax, he'd taken her to the movies to see some terrible chick flick, as if there weren't enough of those around. Slinging his arm around her she relaxed into his hold

"You know we could just ditch the movie and go hang out at my place" He whispered running his hand up her arm gently

"Uh I don't think so, you're smooth but you aren't that smooth" He chuckled and removed his arm. As soon as the movie finished they walked out of the movie, hand in hand.

"You know gorgeous, I know this cute little diner on the corner of 22nd street, it's got the best pancakes in town" He smiled at her, that charming smile that she thought was the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen

"That sounds great but I have to get home" He tensed at her rejection and clamped down a little harder on her hand "How about next time?" She said hiding her unease, maybe that should've been the first sign of his possessiveness, but Clarke didn't read into it, it was just their first date after all

"I had a really good time tonight Clarke, did I mention you look beautiful?" He said grasping his hand on either side of her arms

"Yeah me too, and thank-you but I better get inside, my Mom's probably waiting for me. I'll talk to you at school about that second date?" She untangled herself from his arms and ran up the stairs to the entry of her house, closing the door without looking back. Clarke tended to do this thing where she ignored the bad and emphasised the good. So when her mother asked her about how the date went she lied through her teeth, well not all of it was lies, she remembered how kind and tender he'd been and soon enough learnt to push all the bad out.

End of Flashback

She was so stupid, she didn't know back then that she would be stuck in that relationship for so long, there were so many tell tale signs that he was going to hurt her, physically and emotionally and of course Clarke ignored them, how was she to know what he would do to her life? She couldn't help but think that if he hadn't have entered her life in the first place then she wouldn't have met the amazing people she had. People that she'd opened up to and grown to love, in just under a month. Silently she thanked him for driving her away from that place because if it wasn't for him, she never would've left.

It was as if she could hear his heartbeat and footsteps as he walked across the sand. Her eyes followed him but he stopped to converse with someone. That someone was Octavia. She felt someone push her out of her haze

"Clarke seriously, you're worrying me" Clarke looked down to see the strong features of Bellamy Blake had moved down to kneel in front of her, his hands grasped tightly on her knees trying to pull her out of whatever trance she was in. His bold brown eyes gazed into her searching for something, anything that could clue him in to whatever was going on inside her mind

"I'm fine Bellamy" Bellamy wasn't going to be fooled, she was pale as a ghost, her breathing had shallowed and he hadn't responded to her for at lease fifteen minutes, the woman was having a panic attack

"Clarke, don't bullshit me, I know you better than that" Clarke shook her head lightly

"Don't worry-" As she was about to finish her sentence Clarke's gaze fell back on Dax and Octavia, she could see they were deep in conversation and for a moment she wondered if he was flirting with her, the sick bastard. All of that was wiped from her mind when Octavia motioned to the life guard tower, where Clarke remained hidden from him. Clarke started to panic again gripping Bellamy's shoulder tightly and pushing herself out of her chair. She scrambled into the storeroom and locked it without a word to Bellamy, she wanted to say something to him, but everything in her was screaming for her to run.

Bellamy was concerned, he'd never seen Clarke like this, and it worried him, he was almost sure she was going to lose it before and then she ran, but not from him, from something else. Bellamy turned to see a man walking toward the tower, waving goodbye to his sister. Bellamy shrugged it off, probably someone thanking him for saving them or some crap, he didn't like to get attached, nothing good came of getting attached to someone you were never going to see again. He'd tried to do that with Clarke, keep his distance, but something about the blonde beauty kept him running back. Her very existence drew him to her and that was why he was almost ready to bash the door in to see what was wrong with her

"Clarke? I'm not asking you to come out but can you at least let me in?" Bellamy could hear the lock click and just as quick as the door was open it was shut and locked again. He racked his brain wondering what had startled her when a voice clearly announced itself across the room

"Hey Bellamy right? I'm Dax" Bellamy turned around to see the man that was talking to Octavia was now standing in the doorway of the surveillance room "I'm looking for Clarke Griffin, Octavia told me this is where I should find her?" Just as Bellamy was about to call for Clarke and tell her she had a visitor everything clicked in his mind, the thing that she'd run from, was this guy. He didn't look like an immediate danger it was what was behind his eyes that scared Bellamy the most. The love and affection for Clarke, even when he'd spoken her name was more than it seemed.

"Uh, she's not here actually and I'm quite busy, you know, people to save and what not"

"Oh, well do you know where I could find her, it's important?"

"Can I ask who you are, to her I mean" Bellamy said, as he watched the mans eyes narrow ever so slightly he wished he could take back his question

"I'm her boyfriend, can you just tell her I'm looking for her" Bellamy watched Dax get irritated but didn't back down, they were similar hight and build but Bellamy knew, despite the dangerous look in his eye, he hadn't had the training Bellamy had. No one was going to push him down, and that included Dax.

"Look I think it's time for you to leave" the man huffed slightly inching himself closer to Bellamy

"I don't think you realise who you're dealing with here" It was that moment that Octavia chose to walk in, nearly thrown back by all the testosterone circulating the room

"Uhhh, did I interrupt something?" Octavia said and Bellamy took this as his chance to make Dax leave "No not at all O, Dax was just leaving" Without another word in his direction Dax threw a charming smile and nod Octavia's way and left the building. Octavia placed her hands on her hips and directed a hard stare at Bellamy

"Do tell what that was all about big brother?"

"Octavia, I'll tell you later, right now I need to make sure no one comes in here, can you watch the beach for me?" Octavia huffed and muttered something under her breath about not being his servant but nonetheless set off to do the task he asked her to. Taking a deep breath and recollecting his thoughts Bellamy walked over to the storage closet to find the door open ever so slightly. He gently pushed it open and searched for Clarke. His heart almost broke in his chest when he saw her

"Clarke" he whispered as if not to scare her further, there she sat, in the corner, her head tucked neatly in her knees. Shutting the door behind him he inched closer to her until he was right in front of her. Kneeling down he gently placed his hand on her chin and lifted her head

"Clarke, it's okay, I got rid of him" He softly kissed the tears off of her cheeks and pulled her to him.

For the first time in a long time Clarke let someone help her. She allowed Bellamy to pull her into his arms and hold her. She'd been so scared that Dax was going to hurt her, but more so that he was going to earn the trust of her friends and then creep back into her life. She cried for everything she'd lost, her father, her safety, her dignity. She opened up her heart and let all the hurt out, she hadn't done that for anything since her father. Clarke was almost sure he was going to find her, that Bellamy was going to give her away to him because she hadn't opened up and told him the real reason he moved. It was her own fault really, this was her mess. She should've known Dax would've tracked her call with her Mum. He'd always tracked her calls and followed her to make sure she was where she said she was. It was the detective in him. She was surprised he hadn't come in and flashed his badge at Bellamy. In his arms, she felt safe, like he could take on the world whilst holding her safely behind him. He'd pretty much bulldozed her walls down the moment he didn't ask her to talk about why she'd lost it and locked herself away. He just sat there, holding her, understanding and feeling her pain with her until she fell asleep in his arms.

Bellamy wasn't sure how long it had taken but eventually she fell asleep in his arms. Lifting her carefully he walked out of the storage room to see everyone sitting in the observation room. First Monty stood

"Is Clarke okay?!" He asked frantically, before he could answer Jasper cut him off

"What the hell happened?" Then Lincoln had his two cents

"Did it have something to do with that cop that walked in here?" And of course Octavia had to her piece

"Dax was a cop? What the hell" The only two that hadn't said anything were Raven and Finn

"Dax showed up? That motherfuker. Is he still here? Cus I swear I'll kill him" Raven said, her fists clenched at her sides, Finn placed a comforting hand on her shoulder "it's okay Ray, he's gone" For a moment Bellamy was slightly hurt that Finn knew more than he did but quickly shoved that thought away. This wasn't something he could push. He quickly silenced all the babbling voices

"Look, I'm taking Clarke back to our place, I think we should all meet up there. She's not okay so don't bombard her with all your questions, she'll talk when she's ready"

"It's alright Bellamy, I got this, go" With that dismissive statement Bellamy left them all confused as hell in the tower.

"Can you shed some light on that Raven?" Lincoln asked, but clearly it wasn't a question, he wanted answers. Raven sighed and sat back down placing her head in her hands

"I thought we got away from this mess" She whispered to herself before clearing her throat and sitting back up straight

"What mess Raven?" Lincoln pushed and just as Finn was about to tell him to back off Raven answered

"Back in Illinois Clarke and I lived in apartments that were just across the hall from each other, so we were always going back and forth and basically I could hear most of what went on in there. Even before we lived across the hall from each other I was constantly at her house. We've been best friends since we were like eight. Anyway when we were like fifteen she started dating Dax, at first I didn't have a problem with him, he seemed to treat her good and that's all I wanted. But as they got further into their relationship I started to hear them fighting. Then one day, she came out of her room with a killer bruise on her eye, told me she'd 'fallen' over. The first time it happened was when she was eighteen. Just after she'd moved in across the hall. This happened several times before I made her tell me what had happened. I told her to leave him, but every single time he told her he was sorry and that he loved her. She just kept going back. Then the day we came here, he nearly killed her because she tried to end it for real. That's how she got the bruises all over her body and the cracked rib" Octavia sat down and let out a breath

"Damn. Why didn't she tell us?" Octavia couldn't help but be hurt, she'd thought Clarke was one of her best friends.

"Why do you think O? She was scared. Ever wondered why she never really talked about her past? The night I brought her here wasn't even planned. I convinced her to come with me and I was sure he wouldn't find us. I promised him the next time I saw him I'd put a damn bullet through his head and goddamnit I missed my chance. Believe me, that scum deserves nothing more" She said slamming her fist on the table.

"Look, I think we should all go to your apartment, be there for Clarke, its nearly knock off time anyway" Monty said. They all silently agreed when Octavia protested

"No. I think we should give her and Bell some time. I mean, he's the only one that doesn't know what's going on and I think she should be the one to tell him" Lincoln was a little shocked for a moment that Octavia Blake was the one to suggest the mature option but scolded himself for underestimating her. She was a Blake after all

"Well, I don't know about you all but I'm thinking dinner at the ark is looking pretty good"

About two hours after Bellamy had brought her home Clarke roused. Sitting up to see Bellamy sleeping softly on the ground beside her bed. As if sensing her watching him Bellamy awoke

"Anyone would think you're staring princess" He said just like he'd said to her the night they'd met

"In your dreams Blake" She said softly a tear running down her face. He sat up quickly, his hand at her cheek smoothing away her tears

"Hey, it's going to be okay Clarke"

"I don't understand how he found me, how did he find me Bellamy? I have to leave, I have to run right now" She said gripping his shirt tightly, she meant it to, she wasn't sure if she would survive another encounter with

"No Clarke, stop, just breathe, I don't want you to have another panic attack. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I... I had a panic attack?"

"For a med major you're not very good at this" he said with a quick wink. Clarke took a deep breathe and with one look at his reassuring brown eyes and knew it was time to tell him, to tell him everything. Half an hour later Clarke had explained everything to him and he placed his hands on her cheeks and made her look at him

"Clarke, that was not your not fault. It was that sick bastards fault. You aren't leaving here, I'm going to protect you Clarke... I need you to know that"

"You don't understand Bellamy, he's a psycho"

"Clarke please. No more running. This" He said looking around the room "This is your home. You belong here, with us, with... with me" For some reason, any reason, Clarke believed him, he'd always been straight forward with her right from the day he figured he couldn't win her over with his 'fake' charm

Flashback

It was third day Clarke had been at the house and it seemed everyone had forgotten about the whole nightmare fiasco. The day after she'd met Finn and scoped out her future place of work this was also the day after she'd fallen in love with the baby chimp. After swimming for about twenty minutes her ribs were aching so she decided to take the day to sit on the balcony and draw, the landscape seemed like a nice place to start and she immersed herself in it right from when she awoke. It amazed her how she could get lost in a place she had no knowledge of.

Maybe that was what was so appealing about this place, a fresh start, a place where she hadn't memorised the bus times and knew every street name. She felt someone come and sit beside her but didn't acknowledge them, thinking it must've been Raven.

"Wow the princess can draw, who knew?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me Bellamy" She answered without lifting her head, although she could sense him smirking at her

"Well you know princess, if I wanted to know certain things, I have ways of finding out" He said to her, of course he was flirting, he was always flirting, she hadn't missed how he'd gone out the last few nights and always returned at ridiculous hours, not that it effected her, she just assured herself she wasn't going to be stupid enough to fall for his charm. She would try to get to know the real Bellamy. If he was in there somewhere.

"Bellamy I wanna make one thing clear, I am not some stupid bimbo you can throw in the sheets, I'm your room-mate, I appreciate the compliment but your so called charm will not work on me" She stood flashing him a smile and walking back into her room "Goodnight Bellamy Blake" She didn't wait for his reply but she was sure he was grinning to himself.

"Brave princess"

End of Flashback

Clarke pulled Bellamy into a desperate kiss, at that moment she was begging him to give her strength, to show her what it was to be loved. For a moment Bellamy lost himself, let himself kiss her back, poring all his emotion into it but pulled back, as much as he wanted to kiss her, and boy did he want to kiss her, he couldn't. Not now, not under these circumstances, he wanted to make sure when they did this, committed to each other, that his 'Dax' guy was out of the picture.

"Clarke" he said softly, grasping her chin "When we do this, there's no going back for me, and I want to make sure you're a hundred percent ready and if that means waiting princess, then I'll gladly wait" She nodded lighting and laid back down on the bed, tugging him down with her

"For now, can you just, hold me?" He enveloped her in his arms, he tried not to notice how perfectly her body fit against his "Of course princess" He replied quietly, and as he held this broken women in his arms, he made it his mission to piece her back together.

Several weeks later they were all gathered in the lounge-room or what they called their 'headquarters' of the apartment. None of them had forgotten about the fiasco but with no sightings of Dax in the past two weeks they let go a little. The expanding pile of presents under the tree was tempting Monty, but mostly he just wanted to know who his secret Santa was, and unwrap his present, now. Eventually after convincing everyone to ditch their very intense game of alcoholic uno, they were all sat on the couches, the elaborately decorated Christmas tree the centre of all the madness.

Flashback

Clarke sat in the living room, her sketchbook in her hand, after the incident with Dax she'd taken days to speak to anyone, except Bellamy, but he never expected her to blurt out her feelings or talk about Dax. He just bought her food and movies and sat with her, which seemed completely uncharacteristic to everyone but her. It took her a week to face her friends and much to her delight they didn't act like anything had happened, except Octavia who ran up to her and hugged her, but that was just Octavia for you. So now here she was, sitting in a circle with the girls playing blackjack truth or dare while the guys were in the kitchen cooking and drinking. The way blackjack truth or dare works is the person that gets the lowest score- or busts has to do a truth or dare that is made up by the person who got the closest to 21. (I think I made this up, if so then feel free to try it out and let me know and if not I never intentionally stole the idea off of anyone. Also alcoholic uno is one of mine too but it's very similar to kings)

Clarke cringed, of course they'd played several rounds but this was the only she'd actually lost, and she had a feeling Octavia, Raven, Harper, Monroe (Two of the other life guards) and Maya (Jaspers very sweet new girlfriend) were going to take advantage. She looked quickly over to the kitchen to see Bellamy and Miller arguing about something but let it go, only to see the girls looking at her with a wicked gleam in their eyes

"Alright Clarke, truth or dare?" Raven asked in the sweetest voice she could muster

"God damn card games" She muttered under her breath "Dare"

"I, Raven Reyes, dare you, Clarke Griffin, to kiss Bellamy Blake"

"Truth" Clarke quickly changed only to find herself being denied the chance

"Nope. You already chose, now go do what I said" Clarke could've slapped Raven for this, but then realised that Raven knew her best out of anyone, so maybe that was a sign that she had moved on? With a deep breath Clarke sucked it up and stood striding over to Bellamy trying not to become weak at the thought of kissing him again. The last time they kissed it was... amazing, took her breath away thinking about it. Clarke quietly pulled Bellamy away from Miller throwing the latter a dazzling smile. He just shrugged and made his way back into cooking dinner

"What's up princess? You're blushing" Her blush deepened

"So, you may or may not have noticed how the girls are staring at us?" She whispered

"Yeah I did notice that" taking a step closer so he could hear her

"Well, we were playing blackjack truth or dare-" He cut her off with a fake grimace

"Ooh that's a killer" She giggled to herself for a moment before remembering what she was saying

"Yeah, anyway I lost, so they dared me to come over here and kiss you" He lighting put his hands on the side of her face

"Well we better give the girls what they want" and softly touched his lips to her, as quick as it was there, it was gone and she couldn't help the small disappointment that fizzled inside of her. Well, until she heard the girls whooping and cheering, then embarrassment took over and she found herself wondering when were they actually going to kiss again, as if sensing her inner turmoil her touched her arm lightly and whispered "Soon princess"

After the whole kiss fiasco was forgotten Octavia was jumping up and down with excitement until finally Lincoln couldn't take it any more

"What is it O?" He asked slightly impatient, but couldn't keep the act up, she looked to damn happy. It was obvious to Clarke that the two liked each other, she'd even talked to Bellamy about it, even he said he hadn't noticed anything and then went on a ridiculous rant about how she was too young to be doing these things and that she didn't know what love was. He quickly shut up when Clarke reminded him that Octavia was only a year younger then herself. He mumbled something about that being different, but even know watching them communicate it seemed as if Bellamy was finally admitting it to himself. Now it was just up to the two to nudge Octavia and Lincoln in the right direction. Little did she knew that O had the same idea about her and Bellamy, except everyone was in on it

"I think it's tree decorating time" Octavia said and quickly the guys left the room muttering excuses

"Yeah, no I'm out, guys wait up" Raven said following them and Octavia shrugged and looked at the girls in front of her "Alright Clarke, Harper, Maya and Monroe, we are on a mission to make Christmas fantastic, now lets do it" Clarke couldn't bite it back when she stood up and yelled

"Avengers assemble!" Sparking laughter from the group of guys (And Raven) sat at the table and a few of the girls. Octavia just ignored Clarke's outburst and continued handing out jobs for people to do.

"Alright Clarke, I think it's time for you to put the angel on top of the tree" Clarke shrugged and pulled a chair over to the tree, but still she couldn't properly reach the top. Finally she got it on there but lost her footing and fell into a massive pile of tinsel. Everyone laughed but Octavia who'd just gotten back from a bathroom break to see no Clarke

"Where's Clarke?" This made everyone laugh a little harder as they realised Clarke was completely submerged in the tinsel. Octavia jumped as she heard a noise from inside the tinsel

"Fucking tinsel, I mean who needs this much" No one had ever really heard Clarke swear before and it made the situation that much funnier "Is someone going to help me out of here, or what?" Suddenly she felt hands grasp her waist tightly and pull her out, then she was face to face with none other than the infamous Bellamy Blake, it seemed like they'd stood there for hours when someone finally cleared their throat

"Uh, thanks Bellamy" Clarke said clearing her throat, as if unaffected Bellamy lightly pulled a piece of tinsel out of her hair and tucked it behind her ear

"Any time princess"

End of Flashback

"Okay so this sparks the annual secret Santa, this is the tenth might I add" Monty said with a smile "But it also important for another reason, this year we have Clarke joining us and of course the lovely Maya. So as executive chief Secret Santa I will begin" Everyone laughed at his little speech and watched him pick up the largest present handing it to Jasper with a pout. Inside the wrapping was a very large box and inside that box? Another box, until he got down to one very average size box and opened to see two passes to the next major league hockey game and grinned with excitement looking around for who his secret Santa might be. His eyes zoned in Octavia and she flashed him a wide smile. Quickly he stood and enveloped her in a big hug

"Thanks O"
"Any day Jordan, now is it my turn?" Monty nodded and she took her present eagerly, it was small and inside it was a little box. She opened the box to see a necklace with a small heart pendent in it, it must have had at least one carrot of diamond in it. With a gasp she ran her fingers softly over it and could feel Lincoln shift next to her, it was him, he had gotten her this. She gently sat the box down beside her and turned to him softly touching her lips to her "Thank you" She whispered to him and he gave her a small smile back

"I'm glad you like it" He said stroking her hand softly. The cute moment was interrupted when Clarke jumped out of her seat and starting dancing to the tune of "I knew it, I knew it" And only stopped to look at Bellamy

"I believe you owe me money Blake" everyone looked at them with a weird look on their face as Bellamy handed her a twenty

"Wait you guys knew?" Raven asked them, a wicked smirk on her face, clearly no one else knew

"Well we suspected, Bellamy thought it would take longer than this but not me, I had faith in you two" Octavia smiled at her and noticed her hand was still in Lincoln's but didn't move it, and shook her head at her brother and Clarke, they were completely blind to what they had but they could pick out other couples?

Monty seemed to be getting annoyed at the hold up and handed Lincoln his present. After everyone had opened their presents the last two were Bellamy and Clarke, which was completely coincidental. It turned out Monty had bought for Lincoln, Maya had bought for Monty, Jasper had bought for Maya, Monroe had bought for Miller, Miller had bought for Finn, Finn had bought for Harper, Harper had bought for Raven and Raven had bought for Monroe which just left the two, who had obviously bought presents for each other. Clarke opened hers first to see a beautiful, very expensive looking red sun dress, matched with a pair of gorgeous sandals and if that weren't enough he had a fresh set of pencils and water colour paints for her and a note which she quietly read to herself. It almost brought her to tears and if she hadn't have been in a group full of people, it probably would have. Before she got the chance to thank him Monty shoved the present she had bought him in his hand, and Clarke found herself looking to anywhere but Bellamy. She heard his quick breath intake and looked at him to see him looking at his present with a large smile on his face. It was a very intricate, detail drawing of Bellamy, Octavia and their mother, that was placed in a very classy frame. Underneath that was another drawing, it was of Kong, who they'd gave up back to the zoo a week ago. It was Kong in Bellamy's arms. On top of that she'd put a gift card for $50 for the sports store that Bellamy basically lived in. In a moment he had her in his arms lifting her up and spinning her around

"You are a genius" He said with a wide grin on her face, Octavia butted in

"Yeah you must be if you can make my brother enjoy Christmas" Clarke shrugged and later excused herself to the balcony. She felt someone step out with her and didn't question who it was, she knew.

"Bellamy" He shushed her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, both looking out at the starlit sky "I never go a chance to thank you properly for my present princess" He spun her around softly and touched his lips to hers, she deepened the kiss but broke apart when she heard fireworks. It was a magnificent show, all with Bellamy's arms around her. This was the best Christmas she'd had since she was nine.

Little did she know her paradise was about to come crashing down.

Okay so let me know what you think because your opinion is super important to me! OH AND MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. Hope you have a ho ho hoppin christmas and a killer new year. I know I will!

And to all those who may not have the best christmas, the fanfic family is honestly one of the most genuine families I've ever been a part of, so lose yourself in a Bellarke tale and remember that things always get better :)! LOVE YOU ALL!