I thought hard whether to post this part or not, but in the end decided to do it, if only to explain why Jack was relieved he hadn't slept with Sam. Sam fans, you might wanna sit this part out, cause I'm getting brutally honest and taking my blinders off about her. Mostly I'm addressing her character as she portrayer herself with her completely deplorable behaviour in the briefing room in CotG that in real life would've resulted with her brough on charges for insubordination, disrespect towards a superior officer, conduct unbecoming and others.

Now that doesn't mean that I think Jack is a saint, far from it, he'd done despicable things in his career, something I touched on in my other fic "In too deep", but since this part is about why Jack is relieved he hadn't slept with Sam, I can't really put it in, since it isn't in the plot's context.

Also, in RL, Hammond wouldn't act like he had in that part, he wouldn't undermine his XO's authority and belittle/insult him and his intelligence in front of junior officers, or put him down like that, especially in favor of a junior officer, who is on top of it all also a newcomer. It's something Jack would be able to get Hammond in big trouble for. A commanding officer WILL NEVER undermine another commanding officer's authority, command abilities, intelligence, etc.. Especially not in front of other officers. He would challenge his command ONLY if there was a VERY good reason, if the other officer has committed a VERY big and serious screw-up, that had cost lives or the military's reputation or a lot of resources. And even that only IN PRIVATE, or in front of MP's if the other officer was being arrested. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER would he do what Hammond did after Sam had entered the room and he (nor Jack) would not let Sam's insubordinate display go. Insubordination like that disrupts good order, morale, destroys discipline and chain of command.

Junior officer/enlisted have to act RESPECTFULLY towards other officers and especially towards senior officers and doubly so towards their own Commanding Officers. They would NEVER act like Carter had towards Jack, not without being thrown in the brig, courts-martialled and then either sent to Fort Leavenworth or thrown out of the military. When I was in the military we had a case of disrespect. The guy was so quickly punished his head was spinning.

This is more of a filler chapter, not an important chapter in any aspect, like the ascend we have to go through to get to the top of the mountain and to then ski down.

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Sleeping with Carter... talk about the biggest mistake professionally he could ever make.

Having sex with one's own subordinate is the surest way of ending your own career. Fact is, when a couple is courts-martialled it's always the higher ranking of the couple that pays the price, especially if he's a man, because for some weird reason women will always be looked upon as victims of coercion in such cases and will never be even suspected of being the ones to have made the first moves.

Besides, she looked too much like Sara for Jack to be comfortable even thinking of having anything with her, not this soon after Charlie and the divorce. Even having her on the same team, seeing her so much every day, was taxing on him. It had been only a month since the divorce had become final and he still had feelings for his ex-wife. You cannot be with a person for 20 years and forget them in a matter of months.

Carter's insubordinate attitude hadn't endeared her to him either.

They say first impressions are the most important and lasting and his first impression of her had been anything but positive.

Captain Carter had been insubordinate, disrespectful, she had undermined his authority in front of his subordinates and superior officer, openly challenged him, attacked other superior officers, lied about her service because she had never flown an F-16 since she didn't carry any air-crew badge nor any other insignia showing she'd completed flight training, besides, with her career and research how could she have found the time to be a pilot, anyway? There was no way she could've found the time.

Further more, she had lied about her service in the Persian Gulf War. She had not one of the three campaign badges every participating member of US military forces had received for that conflict: Kuwait's Kuwait Liberation medal, US's Southwest Asia Service Medal or Saudi's Nut Tahrir Al-Kuwait (Medal for the Liberation of Kuwait). Jack himself proudly carried the Kuwait's Kuwait Liberation medal. Carter had none and there was none marked in her file. Nor was there anything about serving in the Gulf or flying over Baghdad.

There was also the fact that women were allowed into combat units, such as fighter squadrons, only after 1993...

While Desert Shield had taken place in 1990-91 and Desert Storm in 1991...

Then there was that militant ultra-feminist thing Carter had going... Jack was all for emancipation and equal rights, but the emphasis was on equal.

Which meant he was against any gender being dominant, be that either male OR female. And Carter, with that I'm-better-than-any-man-no-matter-how-many-years-of-experience-and-training-they-had-while-I-have-absolutely-none was a clear and obvious proponent of women superiority and female domination. Or was it just Carter Superiority with Carter Domination over everyone else?

Talk about a big, hugely inflated ego...

For someone nearing 10 years of service she had little experience with the real military. The military is not about proving something, but it's about getting the job done, serving the country, no matter what gender you are. Gender doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that at the end of the day the mission is accomplished with as many participants alive as possible. If you don't understand that, then the military is not where you should be.

Not only that, but also the people who feel they have something to prove, who's motivation is proving they are better than everybody else, are more dangerous to friendlies than any enemy action can ever be. In the past they'd gotten too many friendlies killed, more than they had had enemies killed and no team leader wants that kind of person on his team. There's a saying among combat troops: "Friendly bullets are always more accurate then enemy bullets."

In special ops it's normal for CO's to be able to chose their own subordinates and when they sensed someone was there to prove something or was just a reckless thrill seeker or a loose cannon they immediately rooted them out and threw them out of the outfit.

Carter was the kind of person out to prove something and Jack would've had her off the team for being a risk immediately, but had been overruled immediately and every time after and was now stuck with a time bomb. The revelation that Hammond was Carter's godfather had later come with no great surprise. As much as he admired the man he had to admit this time the General was playing favorites.

Carter would either have to smarten out, shape up or one day she would end up getting herself killed, and probably others along with her. She had gotten in much trouble because of that mindset already, there would come a time they couldn't protect or rescue her anymore.

Some claim that the guys were being hard on her, but those people have no experience with the military or even with how men interact with each other. Every new members of a team is mocked and ribbed at the start, pranks pulled on him, is given the dirtiest and lowest jobs, and what Feretti and Kawalsky had done was extremely mild compared to what they'd done and said to their new male team-mates in the past. Male interactions are almost always rough, competitive, and never soft, even when they are friendly. New male team-mates are almost always greeted with outright derision and have to prove themselves first before the others even accept them.

Fact is, most men soften their behaviour and language as soon as a woman is within a hearing distance and especially if a woman is the target.

The entire team had treated Carter as a lady from the first second they'd seen her and was doing that still. The ribbing she'd received had been mild, soft and even playful. Let's see how Sam would've been treated had she been a male new member of the team: she would've been rudely shot down when she'd be put on the team, they'd constantly be insulting and belittling her, make fun of her in a rude, harsh way, she'd be the one tasked to take care of latrines, dig them out and then daily cover the feces or burn it, if they were in a more permanent field camp. She'd get the worst guard shifts. She'd be the ones tasked to carry the squad's machine gun, the heaviest gun at over 12 kilos, over 3 times what a regular US assault weapon or submachine gun weighs. Either that or she'd carry most of the ammo. For the first few weeks she'd be the target of pranks, insults, given worst, most menial tasks. She'd always get point on patrols, the most dangerous position. She'd be showering with them, share tents with one of them

Instead, the guys handled the latrines, gave Sam the easiest guard shifts that let her sleep through the night, she carried the lightest pack, with Teal'c and Jack taking most of the provisions and ammunition for when they stayed out longer and Daniel taking the tents. It was always either Jack or Teal'c that took point, trusting Sam with her taking the rear to keep their backs clear, with Daniel - the least military and competent member being kept safe in the middle. They always gave her privacy and understanding for her female-things, she had a tent to herself while the guys shared one tent, she had the entire shower room and locker room to herself, with the guys waiting until she was finished before they even entered the locker room,...

There were also Carter's professional ambitions... it was obvious her career and her science were the most important things in life to her and if they'd had sex he was sure she'd rat him out to save her own career if it came to that. Carter would sink him without regret if it meant she could save her own career if it came to that.

(AN: in Upgrades, Sam immediately ratted Jack out when Hammond asked who's fault it was.)

So, at the end of it, Jack was thanking his lucky stars he had woken up to a complete stranger and not his own 2IC.

It was a much better possibility.

But he still had to deal with the fact he'd gotten drunk and voluntarily picked up a woman, married her and brought her to his room, where they'd proceeded to have sex. A lot of it, actually, from the looks of it.

With how tanked he must've been he was surprised he had even been able to perform, but the pleasant buzz in his body and the relaxed, satiated (underneath all that mortification) woman in his arms told the story.

And now he would have to do the hardest thing in his life: talk about his feelings on something, reveal what he wanted and generally open up.

Never had anything else in his life terrify him more or had been harder.

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