Hey guys! So sorry for the extended wait. Thank you all so much for staying patient. Everything is alright now so no worries. I'm hoping to get a new chapter up every two weeks, preferably less than that. Please forgive the writing, as I hadn't written anything outside of random thoughts and some assorted crappy poetry in a good bit of time before writing this. Shout out to LynnDoubleLegacy (Deviant Art- .com) for all her help editing, and to everyone else that offered ideas and gave me feedback. Love you guys.

Anyways, enjoy the chapter. Thanks again to all of you ^_^

Chapter Four: Memories

Edward opened his eyes to find himself in a dimly lit room with black walls, flooring, and ceiling. He couldn't tell where the dim light was coming from, for there were no windows or lamps. As Ed rose, all he could see was a giant lump of... something... laying motionless on the ground, some ways in front of him. Breath hitching in his throat, fearing the worst, Ed approached the large, unmoving lump. As he neared it, he realized he had been right to be scared. The lifeless armor body of his younger brother lay on the ground at his feet, torn apart, the blood seal shattered.

Edward fell to his knees, reaching out to touch the familiar metal when it suddenly changed, shifting and morphing into something else. It was now Alphonse as he would be if he were fifteen in his original body. Al's short blonde hair and innocent brown eyes wandered the room, finally resting on Edward. Ed hesitated, uncertainty settling in as he looked at the serene face of his brother. Al stared back at him with unmistakable glee in his eyes, happy to have his brother and his body back. Deciding this wasn't a trick, Ed lunged forward to embrace his little brother, who reached out to hug Ed in return. However, as the two bodies collided, Al screamed in pain, and Ed immediately let go, horrified by Al's cry.

As soon as Edward released him, Alphonse fell back onto the ground with a soft thud. Blood started to pool around him, seeping out from a fresh hole in his stomach. "H-how could you...?" Al asked, voice cracking with physical and emotional pain. His eyes shone with betrayal as the younger brother took in one last rattling breath, coughing up blood as he exhaled. The room fell completely still and silent. Edward sat by his younger brother's body, arms hanging limply at his sides, unwilling to move. Feeling a thick liquid running down his left arm, Ed looked down at his shaking hands, only to find them covered in what he immediately knew was Al's blood. Ed's face contorted in shock and pain as he screamed. Edward screamed louder than he had ever screamed before, filled with pain, hate, sorrow, and grief. He screamed as tears streamed down his face, until his throat was raw and his tear ducts dry and he could scream no more.

~oOo~

The sun's rays had barely begun to kiss the dark horizon when Edward woke up, screaming and thrashing, entangled in his blankets. Quickly realizing Al was not lying dead and bloody in front of him, Ed slowly began to calm himself down, taking deep, rattling breaths, curled into a ball on his mat. It was all a dream. None of it was real. Alphonse is alive. I didn't kill him. He's okay. I'm okay, Ed told himself, over and over, repeating it like a mantra in his head. He viciously rubbed his still-gloved palms together, desperate to rid them of the lingering feeling of imaginary blood.

Eventually, Edward's breathing slowed as he calmed down enough to stop shaking and look around. He soon realized he was receiving worried and scared looks from the two teenagers sharing the room with him, along with several people standing in the doorway. It took a moment for Ed to regain his senses, but he finally released his knees, which he had previously been hugging to his chest. He lifted his tired body into a sitting position, and raised his eyes to the concerned faces around him. Who are these people? Ed searched his mind for names as memories of the day before began trickling back into his mind. Harry and Ron are the two in the room. The people in the doorway are Hermione, Ginny, Molly, and Sirius, he recognized. Remus left with the other group last night. The Order or whatever they were called.

Edward drew in a shaky breath and finally spoke, his voice raspy but firm. "Stop looking at me like I'm a wounded animal. I'm fine. It was just a dream."

"Some dream," Sirius scoffed, disbelief painted across his face. "What the hell could have done that to you?"

"None of your damn business!" Ed shouted hoarsely, beginning to shake again as the nightmare flashed through his mind, dancing across his gold eyes. "Now get out!"

The group in the doorway obstinately continued to stand there, watching him, but Edward met their gaze with a stubborn fury to outdo them all. Slowly and begrudgingly, they left, Mrs. Weasley reluctantly tailing behind with a last glance at Ed. The only people remaining in the room were Harry and Ron, both of whom refused to make eye contact with Ed. Several minutes of silence passed before Ron opened his mouth. Even then, he was immediately silenced by Harry, who had placed his hand on Ron's shoulder.

"I'm fine," Ed insisted, resting his covered automail arm on his right knee, gaze locked on the blankets wrapped around his legs. His loose hair hung down like a curtain around his face, hiding his emotions as he spoke, molten eyes ablaze. "The dream was nothing. Don't worry about it, and keep your mouths shut about anything you may have heard. Understand?" Ed looked up at Ron and Harry, a dangerous glint in his eyes, daring them to say 'no'.

The two teens hesitated before slowly nodding and climbing out of bed to start the day. Edward remained sitting on his mat, recapping the previous day's events once again, carefully avoiding the nightmare. Close to ten minutes later, Ed finally braided his hair and followed everyone downstairs to the kitchen. He received several glances from everyone, some displaying concern, most showing leftover resentment from the day before.

They'll get over yesterday, Ed decided as he took an unoccupied seat at the table. All the other teens were there, although they avoided Ed's gaze as he allowed his mind to wander. The adults were busying themselves cooking breakfast, although it was mostly Molly working. Sirius seemed like he just wanted to distance himself from the tension around the table.

"So," Edward started, voice shot. He cleared his throat and waited for the teens to meet his eyes before continuing. "The crazy old man you all go to school under invited me to join, in case you weren't aware." Ed's lips twitched in amusement as Hermione instantly looked guilty of something. He knew they had all been eavesdropping somehow. There was a moment of awkward silence before Ron spoke up.

"Well?" He snapped. "Are you joining or not?" All eyes turned to Ed as he debated with himself.

"I don't know," he contemplated after another long pause. "I have no idea how this 'magic' of yours is able to function, and I honestly don't care to learn. It's not natural and I can't say I'm fond of it." Ed leaned back in his chair, hands clasped behind his head as he continued. "Although apparently there's a huge library I'll have access to. That's pretty much the only thing keeping me from a complete 'no'. What kinds of books are there on alchemy in that library?"

Hermione instantly lit up and began describing the library and everything about it in depth. Ed mostly tuned her out until she began talking about the alchemy section. "There aren't many books on alchemy that I've seen. There are probably several in the restricted area, though. I'm sure you could get Dumbledore to grant you permission to check out books from there."

Edward nodded, sitting up straight again as the adults entered the room, plates full of food floating along behind them. "I really think you should accept the invitation," Molly advised as she used her wand to evenly divvy up the food. "I don't know why you're so set on seeing the library, but that isn't the only thing Hogwarts has to offer you."

"Mrs. Weasley, there is nothing more that school has to offer me. I'm going home as soon as I can. I won't need your 'magic' once I'm there, and I won't need it to get there," Ed declared as he bit into the fluffy pancakes, drenched in syrup. He purposely ignored the glass of milk set in front of him.

"Five knuts says you will need our magic," Ginny muttered sarcastically, eyes on her plate as she began to pour syrup over her own pancakes. Ed ignored her and shoveled in the rest of his breakfast, finishing before the rest of the group, who ate in a much more mannerly fashion.

~oOo~

Several uneventful days passed, in which Mrs. Weasley kept everyone busy with chores. The only breaks in the teens' labors were the evenings, in which Ed would sit alone and think, running his fingers over a strange silver pocket watch. Whenever the other members of the household asked what the watch was, Ed would refuse to give them a straight answer. Hermione, Ron, and Harry spent a decent amount of their spare time worrying over Sirius, who had been distancing himself from everyone recently. The three teens also made a habit of discussing the Black's house elf, Kreacher. Each time the ancient elf appeared, everyone's mood plummeted almost as much as it did when the painting of Mrs. Black began screaming about "muggle filth in the proud Black estate". Finally, over dinner one night, Edward agreed to attend Hogwarts.

"Are you serious?" Fred was grinning ear to ear as Ed nodded in confirmation.

"Maybe you can help us with our... ah... 'homework' while you're there!" George laughed, but was instantly silenced by a furious glare from Molly.

"What made you change your mind?" Hermione asked, changing the topic.

"I figured Ginny might be right," Ed started. "What your wands do doesn't seem to require anything in return, which means I may be able to bypass the Law of Equivalent Exchange. Meaning I might actually need magic to get home," Edward sighed as he saw Ginny smirk at him.

"I've never understood that," Harry admitted. "How exactly does alchemy work?"

"It's just like I explained when I first got here. As long as I know what elements a structure or object is made of, I can manipulate them and turn them into something else. For example, I used Sirius's floor to make my spear. It's the exact same material and elements, just constructed into something new."

Harry slowly nodded, attempting to process what Ed had said. The rest of the teens wore looks of fascination, as if they wanted to further question Ed. However, before they could ask anything, Mrs. Weasley took hold of the conversation.

"There are only a couple of weeks left of vacation," she fretted, putting her fork down next to her plate and glancing at Sirius as she spoke. "Can you fit four years worth of material in that little time?"

"It shouldn't be too hard," Ed grinned. Everyone had begun to feel more comfortable around him as the days wore on. Ron still acted cross with Ed at times for reasons unknown, but no one else seemed to hold any grudges. "I spent a lot of time studying and learning new things when I was little. It doesn't take me long anymore." He paused and turned his head to where Hermione was eating. "Dumbledore said you might be willing to help me?"

"Of course," Hermione replied enthusiastically, eyes alight. She was beaming, excitement clearly written across her features. Next to her, Ron groaned and made a face, at which Harry had to stifle a laugh.

"Can we get started after dinner?" Ed asked, resuming his dinner of roast chicken and squash.

"Sure! I'm not really hungry, so I'll go ahead up and find the books you'll need to read. Meet me in the library when you're done." Hermione rose and took her dishes to the sink before making her way upstairs, a little grin on her face. As soon as she was gone, the twins immediately began making kissing sounds and gestures, provoking glares from the remaining members of the household.

Ed hurriedly finished his chicken and left to meet Hermione, who was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the library, bent over an open amd battered book. She looked up as Ed entered the room, flashing him a smile and beckoning him over. Taking a seat next to her, Ed got directly to the point, asking, "What are we starting with?"

"Well I thought we might start with Hogwarts: A History. The blockheads downstairs never thought to read it but since you're totally new to all this I thought it might be a good start." Hermione paused, face scrunching up as she thought. "On second thought," she began again, "since we're on a time crunch, you should probably read it on your own time. Maybe we should start with care of magical creatures," she amended, handing Ed the history book.

Edward chuckled at her embarrassment over the little mistake. Laughter had been coming more easily to him since he buried all thoughts of home. "Sounds all right to me."

~oOo~

"Who does Ed think he is? He's clearly taking advantage of Hermione's crush on him," Ron fumed as he and Harry climbed the stairs on the way to their bedroom.

"Come on, Ron! You can't seriously think Hermione likes Ed, can you? I mean, he's barely been here two full weeks! And he doesn't strike me as the type of person to take advantage of someone else, anyway," Harry countered.

"I think it's pretty bloody obvious she likes him! Did you see the way she reacted when he asked her to tutor him? She could barely contain herself," Ron spat, face contorting in rage.

Harry risked a bemused smile, which was rewarded with a punch in the arm.

"Once she figures him out, her interest in Ed will fade," Harry assured his friend as they walked past the library's closed door, hearing laughter from within. Ron clenched his fists at the sound, but said nothing more as the two entered their room and readied themselves for bed.

~oOo~

"What is that?" Ed pointed to a picture of a strange horse-like creature with wings and a bird-like face, leaning into Hermione slightly as he did so.

"It's a hippogriff," she explained, turning to look at Ed. "It's kind of like a horse crossed with a griffin. They're an extremely proud species. You can't ride one unless it let's you, and there's this whole process you have to go through to see if it does like you."

Ed simply nodded in response, shifting to take his weight off of Hermione. She continued to explain the process, but Ed was only half listening. He was studying her face, watching the way her eyes lit up as she discussed her favorite topics. He noticed the way she would get excited whenever he questioned something. Ed was suddenly struck by how similar she was to Winry, and the barricade he had been building against his homesickness collapsed.

Ed began trembling, putting his head in his hands and rubbing his eyes with the base of his hands. Hermione's words trailed off as she noticed Ed. "Are you okay?" She marked the page they were on and set the book aside, watching Ed with a look of concern. He lifted his head to meet her gaze.

"I'm fine," he said, a little too harshly, standing and starting towards the door, fists clenched. Before he left, he stopped and turned to look at Hermione, longing and sadness shining in his eyes. "I'm just tired," he assured her, softening his voice. "We can keep going tomorrow." Hermione began to interject and call him out on his lie, but Ed exited the room before she could get anything out. Once he was out of the library, he made a beeline for the bathroom, knowing Hermione would try to follow him and demand answers if he didn't go somewhere private. After a brisk shower, Ed dressed, leaving off his jacket, coat, and gloves. Taking a seat on the side of the bath tub, Edward stared at his right hand, clenching and unclenching his metal fist.

Winry... Alphonse... I'm coming home. I promise. I just need time.

Several more minutes of sitting in the silence of the bathroom passed before Ed put on the rest of his clothing and silently entered the room he shared with Ron and Harry. Careful not to wake the other two, he crossed to his own mat and fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

~oOo~

The next morning at breakfast, Edward made a pointed effort to dodge Hermione, fearful of her questioning him on his behavior from the previous night. She seemed to realize that Ed wanted to be left alone, and did not try to speak with him. Everyone else picked up on the fact as well, and left Ed to himself.

Once he was done eating, Ed returned to his room to read the history book Hermione gave him. Closing the door behind him, Ed took a seat on his mat and opened the cover. However, before he had even read the opening pages, Ron entered the room, clearly aggrivated by something. Ed flicked his eyes up to see who had entered, but did not give the other boy a second glance as his gaze drifted back to the book.

"Look here, Ed," Ron ordered. Ed stiffened at Ron's tone, but humored the red-head and set the book aside. "You leave Hermione alone. I know you know she likes you, and you're just taking advantage of that fact."

Ed simply laughed. "You think she likes me?" He began as he climbed to his feet. "I think you're just jealous."

"And I think you're an oblivious fool!" Ron was shouting now, Ed's nonchalant reaction fueling his anger. "How could you not realize she likes you?"

"Because I'm not staying here forever, and attaching myself to any of you will just end in pain. Because I can't feel the same way about her." Ed stopped, meeting Ron's furious glare with a steady gaze. His hands were curled into fists, but the rest of him was highly composed. "Because I have someone waiting for me at home."

Ron forgot his fury for a moment, eyes wide at having heard anything personal from Edward. Ed pressed this advantage and grabbed his book, pushing past Ron to leave the bedroom. He entered the library, moving into the back in hopes of finding peace.

Although Ed had brought the book with him, he had no intention of reading. His mind was ensnared in thoughts of home, making it difficult to get any reading done. Instead, he simply sat in silent bliss, longing for the world and the life he had left, knowing he would trade anything to go back to the Hell from which he had come.