Time for another one. This song is a personal favorite of mine and I hope I did it justice by writing this inspired by it...
Shadows and Regrets by Yellowcard
A shiny red car eased down the street. It wasn't an expensive car; several years old, with a stain in the backseat, but compared to the cars around the little town it was rolling through, it was a diamond.
Twilight Town was just that, a town; barely big enough for the three stoplights in the middle of town. It only had a hotel for emergency breakdowns on the highway that passed right by it, or the occasional beach goer that wanted something quiet and out of the way. It was truly one of those places that no one moved to, and few moved from. Twilight Town was not its real name - few even remembered what it's real name was – but the amazing sunsets that seemed to last far longer than anywhere else in the world were the tiny town's biggest seller. Every brick in every road and building reflected the color of their beautiful sunset in golden hues.
But something was different about the town; something had changed since the driver of the diamond car had last been there. The people were the same, so that wasn't it. Mrs. Shaskie was still there in her little blue house with the white fence that kept her army of dogs from terrorizing the neighborhood, her face still pinched and angry when not looking at her "little angels". The driver could see two shadows hiding out of view from her, preparing to rile her dogs up so they would drive the angry old woman crazy for an hour or two.
A little farther down the street was Mr. Smith; the young teacher full of jokes and teen-like antics that made him the favorite at the little school that everyone went to. Again he could see two shadows marching confidently up the path to the man's home, bags full of party supplies in their hands, ready for the party of the school-year that every student looked forward to.
He passed his own home, his mother still at work in the early afternoon. Even there, something was different. But the shadows were there, up on the roof outside of his old bedroom window, laying out right beside each other, watching the sunset, talking in low voices that the man could hear echoes of; snippets of silly conversations and arguments from years past.
Finally he got to the little park down the street from his home. And that's where it hit him. The thing that was wrong, that was different. He could see the two shadows there, under the big tree by the pond, but it wasn't a happy scene like the others were. They were arguing. The taller, reaching out to the shorter, begging him to understand, and the shorter pushing him away, masking hurt with anger.
"Roxas."
The name slipped from his lips before he stop it. But it was there, in the open air, and he couldn't take it back; the source of the difference in this little town. He hadn't seen Roxas in three years; not since he left for college in the big city of Radiant Garden. He had received a scholarship to go to school there, nearly a full ride. He and his mom had never been well off, so the opportunity was something he just couldn't pass up, or at least that is what he told himself. But he didn't have the money to come back during the breaks. He had to work all the time to pay for housing and books and the last of his tuition that his scholarship didn't cover. He knew that he wouldn't be able to come home until he was done with school when he left, and that was what hurt Roxas the most.
But he made the most of his time. When he was not working or passed out from exhaustion in his tiny apartment, he was doing homework or studying. If he couldn't go home until school was done, then he would get it done as soon as possible. He took more classes than normal, and enrolled in the summer programs. He finished in three years with honors and had several job offers, but only one mattered, and he hoped that the time away hadn't ruined his relationship with Roxas.
He sighed. It was time to find out; time to find Roxas, and he was pretty sure he knew where to find him.
The diamond car pulled up in front of the little ice cream shop. It was the first stop for every student in town: single, with someone, in a group, it didn't matter, they all came to the little shop for its famous sea-salt ice cream. The man nervously stepped out of the diamond car and up to the glass doors of the shop, but was unable to go any farther. There behind the counter, just as he knew he would be, was Roxas. But there was more than just Roxas there. Standing beside him was one of the shadows the man saw all over town, but he could recognize it this time. It was Roxas, from before the man had left. Fifteen and barely pushing 5'5", he still had a rounded face, and eyes that were just a little too big for his face, the blue sucking you in before you could even say a word. His sun-kissed blond hair a spikey mess of perfection on his head, just brushing the base of his neck at it's longest, and his body thin and awkward like any other teen his age. But the man's favorite thing about him was the too-big smile that he always seemed to save special for him.
But the young man that stood beside the shadow of himself was different. He was several inches taller, the awkwardness gone from his frame, now slim and slightly muscular. His face had lost the childhood roundness, now all mature, but soft lines, his eyes no longer too large for his face, but still that amazing blue. His hair was almost the same as it was back then, if only a little shorter. All of that was minimal though, compared to the most important thing; the man could not see that too-big smile on this Roxas' face. In it's place was a line, slightly turning down at the ends; even the slight smile he gave to the customers as they ordered was never quite right, and certainly never reached his eyes. And when he looked up towards the door, his mouth fell open a little and his eyebrows lightly curved up in confusion. And those lips that used to have that too big smile mouthed the man's name, just as he always dreamed it would.
"Axel…"
Now he had no choice but to step through those doors and face the boy with the missing too-big smile. He tried to put a smile on his own face, but he was sure it came off strained as he awkwardly stepped up to the counter.
"Axel." His voice had changed too; a little deeper, but beautiful all the same. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you of course. And maybe get some ice cream?" He asked with a shaky smile.
"I thought you couldn't come back till you were done with school." The statement had an edge to it, like he was expecting it to be a lie, and prepared to hurt more because of it.
"I couldn't. I finished early; even skipped walking in the graduation ceremony so I could come back sooner." Axel added the second part quietly, a little sheepish.
It was quiet for a while, neither sure what to say after that, until Roxas finally broke the silence, lamely. "Your hair is longer."
"Uh," Axel unconsciously reached up to run fingers through the bright red hair that fell past his shoulders. "Yeah, I decided to let it grow out a little more."
Roxas bit his lip for a moment before saying, "I like it long."
"Thanks." Axel stood awkwardly.
"Axe," Axel felt some of the tension he didn't realize he had drift away at the sound of the nickname. Maybe things would work out after all. "I get off in a half hour. Maybe we could… do the usual? I'll supply." Roxas offered, referring to the usual bar of sea-salt ice cream they would always have after school up on the clock tower while the sun sank in the sky.
More tension fell from Axel and he almost thought his knees would give out underneath him. "Of course. I'll meet you there."
Axel lay back on the top of the tower, watching the light in the sky turn into the beautiful golden colors the town was known for. He was lost in his own memories, shadowed conversations echoing in his mind until they were interrupted by footsteps. Turning his head he saw Roxas come around the corner, two bright blue ice cream bars in his hand.
Axel sat up and took his ice cream from Roxas as he silently sat down beside him. They sat that way for a while, Roxas slowly licking away his ice cream while Axel took whole bites, as always.
"I'm sorry." Axel finally said, the empty stick hanging from his mouth.
"For what?" Roxas asked, not looking away from the sunset in front of them.
"For leaving you for college." Axel's voice was quiet.
Roxas was quiet for a while, finishing the last of his ice cream. "I was mad at first. And hurt." He finally said, and Axel's head fell to look at his hands in his lap, knowing that this would come. "But after a little while, I understood. You really did get an offer you couldn't refuse, and it was going to take a lot of work to do it all." Axel looked over nervously to Roxas. "It was selfish of me to get angry like that. You were just doing what was best in the long run." Axel let out a long sigh. "What I still don't quite understand is why you thought you had to break up with me too."
Axel cringed. He was honestly hoping that part would be forgotten and they could just go back to the way things had been. "I was terrified." He whispered after a while.
"Of what? What could be so terrifying?"
Axel sighed, his head falling into his hands. "We were teenagers, Rox. You still are. What can we really know about love?" He sighed again and looked up at the sunset. "They always say that teenagers don't know anything about love. That it never lasts when it starts so young. I didn't want that with you. I wanted real love. You had never dated before, and I had never taken it seriously." He leaned back against the golden bricks of the clock tower. "I knew what we had was special, that it was real, but I was afraid in our inexperience we would mess it up somewhere along the way. I figured me going away to college was a good time to try and get that experience, and when I came home we would both be a little smarter, and could make this work for real."
Roxas was quiet for a while. "And what if…" He finally started. "What if one of these people I was supposed to be getting experience with ended up… real also?"
"Well… I would fight for you, at least at first. But if you really loved them, if it was real… I would step back because they clearly deserve you more than I do. I walked away."
"You were willing to risk losing me in order to make our relationship stronger?"
"Well yeah. I just want you to be happy. I don't want to screw this up."
"I did date a couple other people while you were gone." Roxas admitted quietly after a few moments. "But there was always something missing."
Axel smiled softly. "Same here." They were quiet for a while, the sun finally beginning to sink below the horizon.
"You could have called though, you know."
Axel laughed a little at that. "I was too afraid to." He admitted. "I was afraid that you wouldn't pick up, and that would be even worse than not calling at all."
Roxas let out a small laugh that was more of a sigh than anything. "You're an idiot." He turned to Axel, and there was what he had been waiting to see for three years. The too-big smile that lights up his face, outshining even the bluest eyes. "But I still love you."
Axel reached over and pulled Roxas into a tight embrace. "I missed you so much, you know that Rox?" He breathed in the smell that was uniquely Roxas: sea-salt, beach sand, and sunsets - whatever those smelled like he was sure it was Roxas. "I'm sorry I'm such an idiot."
After another long silence, this one far more confortable than the others, Roxas spoke again. "So what now? You're done with college, where are you going off to work?" His voice was soft, a tinge of sadness in the background.
"Well I got offered a lot of jobs. A couple different ones from some big companies, but there was one that I just couldn't pass up. It was just too good." Axel told him, and Roxas sank a little bit, fearing the distance Axel was about to name. That Axel was going to leave again where he couldn't follow. "It's not as big as some of the other companies, and the pay isn't as great, but I hear the place it's located in has these amazing sunsets."
Roxas frowned at this, a scowl taking over where that amazing too-big smile should have been. "Amazing sunsets huh?"
"Yeah, and I hear they have great ice cream too." Roxas' scowl deepened. "And this cute blond boy who had the most amazing smile, but is also pretty adorable when he pouts." Axel added with a grin.
Roxas finally sat up and glared at Axel. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I got offered a job here, so stop giving me the death look already and kiss me." Axel told him. That perfect too-big smile broke out on Roxas face, but was quickly covered by the crooked smile that Roxas loved.