Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.
Watch Out For Snakes! Or Snakes and Adders
Narrator: When we last left Rocky and Bullwinkle, they searched for treasure with Chauncey and Edgar. The explorers found shelter from a sandstorm by hiding in a large burrow. Unfortunately they did not look before they leaped, for they ended up in a snake pit. Now they are surrounded by dozens of venomous rattlesnakes!
Rocky: Hokey Smoke!
Narrator: Rocky, Edgar, and Chauncey hurriedly climb out of the snake pit to avoid any potential snake bites. However, Bullwinkle wants to try an "experiment" with the rattlers.
Rocky: Hurry, Bullwinkle! Get out of there as fast as you can!
Bullwinkle: But I wanted to show them my famous magic trick!
They drag him out of the burrow.
Bullwinkle: Why did you do that?
Rocky: The snakes were poisonous.
Edgar: And they wouldn't have liked your act anyway. They'd probably think that it bites.
Rocky: You said that pun in "Treasury Moose in Action".
Edgar: I was running out of ideas.
Narrator: The explorers continue their epic expedition.
Rattlesnake 1: Aw, I wanted to sssee Bullwinkle pull a rabbit out of a hat!
Rattlesnake 2: Yeah, we could have sssseen the act up closssse.
Narrator: Meanwhile, our villains were lost in the Giza desert, and they had finally found an outpost.
Natasha: Who do you think this outpost belongs to?
Boris: Who cares? I am sure that whoever owns this place is an intelligent, reliable person.
Captain Peter "Wrong Way" Peachfuzz: Hi, I'm Captain Peachfuzz. Welcome to my outpost.
Natasha: You were horribly wrong.
Boris: Oh no, you're the owner of this outpost?!?
Peachfuzz: Yes sir, I'm the proud owner of this place! Isn't it great?
Boris: No, this place looks like a dump.
Peachfuzz: Thanks for the compliments! Now don't worry, I'll be back with some food and water.
He goes out into the desert to look for food and water.
Boris: Knowing him, he'll hopefully get lost somewhere.
Natasha: Boris dollink, do you notice something odd?
Boris: You mean Captain Peachfuzz?
Natasha: No. I can't find Fearless Leader.
Boris: We should look for him, and make sure that he doesn't get lost!
Natasha: Don't worry, dollink. He is very smart, and will show up sooner or later.
Boris: You're right, he is even smarter than I am!
Natasha: That is not a huge accomplishment.
Boris: What are you talking about?!? I am Fearless Leader's best and brightest henchman.
Natasha: Oh, really? Then what is a famous landmark in this desert?
Boris: That's easy. The most famous landmark here is Stonehenge!
Narrator: After Boris fails at geography, the dastardly duo search for their boss.
Boris: Where the heck is our boss?!?
Fearless Leader: Boris, Natasha, I found something!
Narrator: After hours of searching, it turns out that their boss has been digging for treasure. He was digging a metre away from the outpost.
Natasha: You dug a lot of holes. Which one are you working on?
Fearless Leader: The one right in front of you.
There is a huge, deep hole in front of them, where Fearless Leader is still digging for the artefacts.
Natasha: Oh no, you are stuck in the hole!
Boris: Don't worry, boss! You can get out of there by digging upwards!
Fearless Leader climbs out of the hole, and he is holding a stone object.
Natasha: You did all of that digging to find a rock?
Boris: And it's really weird and pointy, like an arrow. And it isn't even big enough to throw at Moose and Squirrel!
Fearless Leader: Shut up, you idiots! This is not a rock. It is a valuable arrowhead.
Boris: So what? It is a pointy, tiny arrow. It probably isn't worth anything. Digging around here would be pointless.
Fearless Leader: This arrowhead could be worth a fortune. It could be thousands, or even millions of years old. This area might be where the captain found the artefacts.
Boris: What are we waiting for? Let's get some artefacts!
He picks up a shovel and starts to dig.
Narrator: While Captain Peachfuzz goes exploring, the no-goodniks dig up the entire outpost.
Narrator: Speaking of Captain Peachfuzz, Boris was actually right. He did get lost somewhere. Where he is lost is debatable, because he is wandering in the middle of the vast desert.
Peachfuzz: Hmm. I appear to be lost. That's not a problem. I should easily be able to find the outpost with my excellent sense of direction.
Narrator: Obviously, he is in denial. It is a well known fact that Captain Peachfuzz is the worst navigator in the history of Frostbite Falls. Speaking of "denial", he just so happens to find the Nile River, heheh.
Peachfuzz: I don't get it.
Narrator: Why aren't I surprised?
Peachfuzz: Hey, I can ask that friendly looking snake for directions. Hi, do you know where to find an outpost? It's small, and there are three familiar looking people there. I don't remember their names.
Adder: *hissss*
Narrator: In the Mojave Desert, our heroes and observers continue their trek across the barren terrain. Yes, they are definitely lost in the barrens.
Bullwinkle: Hey Rocky, did you find the treasure yet?
Rocky: No.
*a few seconds later*
Bullwinkle: Hey Edgar, did you find the treasure yet?
Edgar: No.
*a few more seconds later*
Bullwinkle: Hey Chauncey, did you find the treasure yet?
Chauncey: No! Bullwinkle, you can be such an idiot at times. First you try to entertain deadly rattlesnakes, and now this!
Rocky: You're being kind of harsh.
Edgar: Yeah, and you're not much better. You thought that a cactus was a bench.
Chauncey: It was a mirage! Anyway, I'm sorry if I snapped, Bullwinkle. It's just that those vultures flying over us are creeping me out.
Rocky: Vultures?!?
Narrator: First a sandstorm, then some rattlesnakes, and now vultures! Our explorers can't seem to get a break, can they? Will our heroes and explorers be able to get to the Giza desert, and avoid being pecked at by vultures? Will the villains find the treasures before they do? And will Captain Peachfuzz be smart enough to safely find his way back to his outpost? To see the conclusions of all of these cliffhangers, be sure to stay tuned for, "Buzz Off, Buzzards!" or "I can't Believe I Dug the Hole Thing".