Hello everyone. Happy Mardi Gras to everyone! I was hoping in my French class we would celebrate with a party, instead we celebrated with a test. I'm trying to stay on top of updating regularly and spring break is coming up which will give me more time, so yay. I'm glad to hear so many of you are enjoying this story and also that you think it's moving at the right pace. I don't want it to feel like it takes them 5 years to finally kiss but I also don't want it to be them making out within 5 seconds either, if you get what I mean. I'm just curious how many of you have heard these songs, or listened to them after you read this? It'd be great if you'd answer just for my selfish benefit. I do make sure to credit the singer at the very end each time. Speaking of credit, I own nothing of Downton Abbey and I unfortunately never will. All of this is Julian Fellow's unless I make up a character, but I have not yet. So enjoy! And also, sometimes these will go back and forth from Tom to Mary's view point (not first person) but it should be clear.

I took a walk to clear my head, this is where the walking lead, Can't believe you're really gone, don't feel like going home

In the last span of months, ranging more than a year, Tom had learned a lot about loss. In his years before he had never been accustomed to the feeling of grief accept when his dog died when he was five, and his grandmother when he was 20. In the two years he'd witnessed his wife die, and then his closest friend. He'd gone through the stages of grief, only to cycle back and he'd seen the Crawley family do that too. He'd remembered the conversations only days after his wife had died.

"I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now," said Edith Crawley as she sat across from him, dressed in a somber black dress with matching gloves and a hat. Tom grimaced at her in reply. "But it's important for us to try. You've lost your love, mama and papa have lost their youngest daughter, and I have lost my little sister."

He raised his head to meet her eyes, "I know it must be hard for your parents, as well as yourself and Lady Mary."

"It is," Edith paused and looked away. She turned back with a hardened look in her eye, "I'm sure it isn't for Mary though. I try to bring us together as sisters through this time and she declines. I'm quite convinced she has done away with her heart." Tom's eyebrows rose together as he processed Edith's words. All he had ever heard about Mary and Edith Crawley was downstairs gossip and from Sybil. From Sybil he had heard only the best praise for her older sisters, how they all picnicked and played with dolls. How they celebrated together at balls. Of course he'd also heard from O'Brien years ago that Lady Grantham was getting fed up with Mary and Edith's childish games and mean spirit.

"I'm sure Lady Mary misses Sybil just as much as we do," he replied. He knew Sybil would want her sisters to get along, she always had but to no avail.

"I suppose," answered Edith, doubt evident in her voice.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I am going to go for a walk."

"Would you like me to go with you?" asked Edith with eagerness. Tom smiled as politely as he could and shook his head. He was walking towards the front door when he heard soft but strangled sobs. His mind went on alert and he glanced around before finding the source. Her black gloved hands were covering her pale face and she leaned against a wall. For a minute, Tom Branson froze. He had never seen the great Lady Mary Crawley do anything but make polite small talk and laugh only for Matthew.

"Lady Mary?" he asked hesitantly. He watched as her head jerked up. Her slightly red eyes met his and she gave him a watery smile.

"Tom," she answered and nodded in acknowledgement.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he walked towards her.

"I'm probably faring better then you, so there is no need for me to complain."

"You're thinking about her aren't you?" he asked, then hastily added, "Lady Mary."

She waved her hand down in admonishment and said, "There's no need. We are family Tom Branson, and now more than ever." He watched as she pulled off her glove, revealing a small slender hand. She wiped the remaining small tears away and let the black glove conceal her hand once more. She opened her mouth to say something else when they both heard,

"Mary, darling there you are!" She had a new look in her eye and said,

"Don't tell Matthew, there's no need because then he'll just worry." Tom wordlessly nodded and watched Matthew approach.

"Matthew," said Tom nodding towards the other man. Matthew's eyes widened slightly in surprise, his eyes had only been on Mary. Still he turned to the Irish man and asked,

"Are you doing alright today?"

"Yes actually, you're wife here is doing a good job of keeping me company. I'm going on a walk, but I'll be back in time for dinner," he replied to the two. He turned and when they thought he turned enough, Matthew grasped Mary's hand. All Tom could do was grimace and bite his lip to stop the tears for his Sybil.

It had been a while since he thought of that. He realized now it was just a glimpse of the Mary everyone talked about now. In his opinion, she had been doing better of late, she was laughing again. Tom knew it was only a matter of time before Mary became more positive and spirited again.

"How are you today Tom?" asked Lord Grantham, interrupting all thoughts.

"Very good Robert, thank you," he replied. Tom watched as Lord Grantham settled on the couch with a newspaper and Isis at his feet. The relationship of Lord Grantham and himself was complicated. In the beginning they spoke but a mere four words to each other, but now he was the estate manager. That was partly thanks to Cora and Matthew. Of course it had been perfectly clear how Matthew was seen in Robert's eyes and Tom had been fine with that. He didn't care a bit who preferred him and who didn't. That is still Sybil, on the verge of tears, begged him to try and get along with her parents.

"Why won't you be polite around them?"

"What are you talkin' about? I'm being myself. I don't have to change myself for your people."

"Please Tom," she whispered as her bottom lip quivered, "Just try and be more civilized with mama and papa. They're wonderful and so are you, you'll be the perfect match. And for heaven sake stop calling them my people!"

So he had started trying, for her. Matthew treated him as a best friend, and even in a brotherly way. Matthew was always a gentleman. Lord Grantham also tolerated him better, but Tom knew, Matthew was the favorite. He was not just Matthew he was, "Matthew my boy". Tom stood his ground for Sybil though and he still tried. He knew Sybil would want him to continue his efforts, he was Robert's only son in law now and seemed a great deal better in comparison to Mr. Gregson, Edith's beau.

"Hello Papa, Tom," said Mary Crawley as she entered the library with a book in hand.

"Plan to do some reading my dear?" asked Robert.

"Yes actually. I was unaware you two were here, I hope I won't be a bother.

"Nonsense, the both of us were just reading anyways!" replied Tom cheerfully. Mary smiled back at him fondly and settled into the open chair. Tom studied her, in her dark purple dress and flushed cheeks. He chuckled as he thought about his friendship with Mary. She was completely different in telling him he should not let her father and granny dictate what he said or did, and went as far as saying he didn't need to be so polite. The word she had used was "worldly" when she said what her family needed to be.

"Something amusing?" asked Mary with raised eyebrows. Tom smirked and shook his head. At least he was doing something right. He was on much better terms with Mary Crawley then he had ever been. He only wished Sybil could be there to see it.

"But you are, aren't you?" he whispered to the sky.

As they rose to change for dinner with Isobel and the Dowager, Mary pulled him aside.

"Are you quite well?" she asked.

"Of course, why would you think I'm not?"

"You seem different today and I cannot put my finger on it," said Mary decisively.

"Well I could say the same about you," he answered, grinning at her. She laughed softly, before turning serious and whispering,

"I do feel better. But I always do during the day, and at night in bed when I have to sleep alone, that is when it hurts. It makes me want to run away and not return home for some time."

"You don't mean that."

"No, I don't, but that is the type of feeling I get. Although I daresay I would not be able to stay away from you and your quirkiness." Tom raised his eyebrows at her and Mary added, "Oh dear now I sound rather fond of you don't I?"

And he could not help the warmth that filled his body.

And that's a wrap for this week I think. By the way in the flashback, not trying to make Edith sound attracted to him, just showing how desperately sad she is and how desperate for someone on her side she is. I don't have much to say but that was totally different ahaha. Don't know what I'll write next (concerning view points) but yes.

The song was: Drink A Beer by Luke Bryan