*Author's note* Whew okay sorry, finally, here is chapter 4! Sorry for the annoyingly long wait! I promise to work on getting chapter 5 out much sooner and keep the story line moving without losing too much momentum! But for those times that I don't update and you're wondering when the crap the next chapter will be out, /MissedJess?lang=en here is my twitter that is specifically for my FF account! My handle is MissedJess so feel free to follow me or just peak at my account and see why I haven't been posting and when I will be again!
Happy to be back, hope you enjoy!
xoxo
CHAPTER 4
Claire:
Claire rolled over with a groan when the sound of her phone ringing forcefully yanked out of her sleep. Her head was pounding, and the phone was ringing so loudly. Her stomach twisted, and the feeling of nauseous swept in just as the ringing finally stopped.
She was trying to go back to sleep and ignore the sick feelings plaguing her body just as her phone pinged that she had a new voicemail. She was just going to ignore it before she remembered the events of the last thirty something hours and realized who it would probably be from. She had completely ignored Quil for the past twenty-four hours and she needed to know how he had handled it. She squeezed her eyes shut and felt around on her bed until she found her phone and then pulled it up to her face to squint at.
There were six missed calls from him including the ones she had seen the morning before and three voicemails. She groaned as her stomach turned over and she played the first voicemail.
"Hey, Claire. Look baby, I know I screwed up last night… but I just need to know how badly, so I can be prepared for how mad you are, so please call me back so we can talk about it!"
He didn't know how badly he had screwed up? Had he gotten so drunk that he couldn't even remember what had happened?
Claire tried to muse about it around her headache as she quickly skipped to his next message. She could hear the authority in his voice that he usually only used when instructing to members of his pack as he said,
"Claire, come on. I know you're pissed and I don't know what I said last night but I need to hear from you. Please call me." She rolled her eyes as he confirmed that he didn't remembered calling her at all. She heard him sigh and then continue on much softer with, "I love you, baby. Please just call me back."
She sighed as she realized how much pain he must be in from not hearing from her. She was still unbelievably upset and frustrated with him, but he should at least know why she was. She reasoned about it as she skipped to the last message,
"'Kay that's it, Claire. You don't want to talk that's fine but I'm booking a flight. Then you can just ignore me in person until you're ready to work this out."
She groaned in frustration as she checked the time of his last call from ten minutes earlier. She knew he wasn't bluffing and that if she didn't call him back he would indeed show up to find her. He wasn't going to let her go like he had last time and we would fly out there just to hang around while she gave him the cold shoulder if he had to.
She closed her eyes shut tightly as she redialed him and waited for him to pick up even while knowing she still didn't want to speak with him yet. It rang twice and then,
"Claire!" he said sounding both frustrated and relieved.
"Don't book a flight." She answered back irritably as a greeting.
"Oh, I'm definitely booking a flight." He said confidently. "We need to have an actual conversation and work this out."
"I agree…. But, don't book a flight." She said not bothering to put in the effort to hide any irritability while she was feeling so hung over.
"Claire, you wouldn't even talk to me until I said I was coming!" He insisted, and she could hear typing in the background like he was indeed booking a flight that second.
"I've been busy, and you aren't really the number one person I want to talk to right now…" she replied defensively.
"Claire…" he started, "if you won't take my calls then I should definitely be there."
She groaned loudly and rolled over onto her elbows and knees feeling like she wanted to puke as she looked for water on her nightstand and came up empty.
"You're serious? You're just not going to take no for an answer?" she asked making sure of his intentions.
"Of course, I'm serious. I'm coming Claire. I'm not leaving things like this until you get back." he insisted.
She sat up slowly on her knees before she sighed in defeat and said, "Alright, fine… Then you stay there. I'll come home."
It was silent for a second while she felt Quil's shock and surprise. She did not love the idea of going home so soon after she had started working there but she knew she liked the idea of Quil showing up to follow her around while securing her booty-call reputation even less.
"Really?" he asked in a small voice.
"Yeah. I'll call my dad after we're done and have him book a flight for Monday. Just don't come here." She said lifelessly as she leaned against the wall and started breathing through her mouth even though it tasted terrible.
"…. Claire…." Quil said hesitantly, clearly undecided about the situation.
She hated the thought that he had enough control over her to force her home less than a week after she had gotten there but she knew he would really come to her if she didn't come back to him and she didn't want to explain his presence or his relationship with her to anyone. Not to Tami, who had met Quil at least ten years ago and would have some serious questions as to the current nature of their relationship… not to Luke, who would think she was weak for running back to Quil when he showed up… not to Sarah, who would think she really was a dirty-girl and that Quil couldn't wait until she got home but had to hop on a flight and come to her for a real booty-call… not to Hank, who would probably assume she had a stalker…. Not to anyone…. She would rather just go home.
"Look, I'm not going to-" Claire had started to say as reasonably as she could currently manage before her stomach heaved and she quickly had to change to an urgent "I'm going to puke!"
She heard Quil say something in confusion, but she had already dropped her phone on the bed. She barely made it to the bathroom sink before she started violently vomiting all the beer back up.
If it had been disgusting going down it was twice as bad coming back up. It stunk and burned at her mouth and throat, which all just made her want to keep puking as she used her left arm to try to pin back all her hair and keep it out of the line of fire. She felt shaky and weak and like her head might burst by the time she finished. She quickly washed the sink out and then brushed her teeth vigorously to try to get the taste out of her mouth before she went back to her room.
She didn't want to get back on the phone with Quil who was waiting for her… she just wanted to pull off her uncomfortable skinny jeans and go back to bed… but she knew if she did that, he would probably end up showing up before she had even woken up again.
"Quil?" she asked weakly as she sat back down on the edge of the bed.
"I'm booking a flight right now. If something is wrong with you I need to be there." He said concerned.
"Nothing is wrong with me…." Except this stupid hang over… she thought to herself. "..I'm just upset is all."
"…What?... No, you just cry when you get pissed off, you've never puked before." He said quickly.
"Well there's a first time for everything, isn't there!?" she snapped, annoyed and clearly irritable from her hang over.
"Claire… tell me what's wrong or I swear I'm booking the first flight out!" Quil insisted.
"I already told you I'm coming home. Just chill out. You aren't really in any position to be making demands here, Quil." She snapped quickly.
He was quiet for a moment as she heard him blow out a large, agitated breath before he said,
"Just tell me what's wrong and….. you don't need to come home…."
She was quiet for a minute as she considered what he was asking.
"And you won't come out here?" she clarified while agreeing to his terms.
"Not if you're willing to work it out over the phone…." He said a little defeated.
"Fine." She snapped. "But that's easier said then done. It's going to take some time, Quil. I'm pretty pissed still."
"Okay, that's fine. We can take the time to make it work." He said reasonably before he asked more insistently, "Now what's wrong? Are you sick?"
She sighed since she had zero desire to tell him what was actually wrong with her, but she had just promised to so…
"No. I'm not sick…. There's really nothing wrong with me… in fact I get my stupid full cast off on Monday." She hemmed hoping she might be able to distract him since she knew she was too upset and hung over to pull off that she was fine believably.
"Then why would you puke?" he immediately asked obviously ignoring her attempt to distract him.
"….. Eh…" she squeaked without actually getting anything out.
"Claire!?" he insisted getting agitated in the way he only ever did if he was worried there was something wrong with her.
"I got drunk last night! That's why I threw up!" she quickly blurted out irritably.
There was shocked silence on his end for a small second before he said loudly enough that she immediately pulled the phone away from her ear and pounding head,
"You're hung over!?"
"Maybe…." She admitted.
"You got drunk last night!?" he said, instantly upset.
"Yes… I already said that." She replied, frustrated with his hypocritical attitude.
"Off of what!?"
He seemed like he couldn't even fathom the idea of a hung-over Claire.
"Well, I'm not one for shots of tequila!" She snapped. "But I had some beer last night and it didn't take very well."
"What the hell, Claire? Who gave you beer!?" he said like she was a child who couldn't be trusted with sharp objects or something.
"Why would that even matter!?" she asked more annoyed than ever.
"Um… because you're sixteen and I want to know who is giving you beer that you aren't even old enough to drink!" he snapped back.
"Oh, so I'm not old enough to drink but I'm old enough to throw on the bed and-" and she repeated back to him some of the more memorable phrases he had said to her the night before.
She would normally be much more diplomatic about a situation of this nature, but she was way too hung over and upset to find even a shred of graceful diplomacy at this point.
She could feel his shocked silence again for a second before he replied, "Um… excuse me?" clearly offended at what she had just suggested.
"What? You don't remember saying that to me when you were drunk!? Or do you just not remember Tina offering to have a three-way since she was so willing to share you and apparently, I'm her type too? What do you think, Quil? Are you into that or just into the idea of…" and she repeated back the last thing she had clearly heard him say before she had hung up on him the night before.
He was completely silent for a moment before he said in obvious disbelieve, "I said that?"
"No Quil! I thought it would be fun to make it up myself after you kept me up all night with drunken phone calls from the sorority girl you were partying with even if she wasn't nearly as hot as me!" she snapped sarcastically.
"I said ALL of that?" he asked still disbelievingly.
"Yes Quil!" she insisted as she started to tear up over it. She felt like she couldn't contain her hurt anymore as her tears spilled over and she suddenly couldn't stop herself before she blurted out, "I told you I loved you! I told you I loved you and you called me drunk and said all of that!"
"Oh, Claire! I….." he said clearly at a complete loss of what to say when he was so shocked he had done it to begin with. "…. I'm SO sorry…. I can't believe I would do something like that…."
She was crying in earnest as she said, "Yeah, neither could I. But you did!"
"…..Claire…. how can I fix this? How can I make it right? I'll do whatever you say, just tell me how to fix it…" he begged her.
She just cried, wishing she had the answer to give him as to how he could undo the hurt feelings he had caused her.
"…I need some time…" she finally said after she had pulled herself back together a bit. "…just let me stay here and work through this…" she pleaded with him.
He seemed pained and upset but he said, "…Okay. If that's what you need."
She didn't say anything as she pinned the phone between her shoulder and ear and used her hand to rub at her head which felt even worse for crying.
"Claire… I'm so sorry!" he said softly and painfully.
He sounded like he was crying now too. She tried to remember the last time she had even seen Quil cry. She thought it had to have been at his grandfather's funeral three years ago. She had been a sobbing mess with her hand in his in front of the open casket, as he held onto her and silent tears fell down his face…. He seemed like he was crying now though.
"I just…. I just don't understand where it came from!" she stuttered still upset. "I thought you were happy with where our relationship was at!"
"I was!... I am!" he instantly said in a thick voice as if he was speaking through his tears.
"I mean is sex all you want from me!?" she asked, finally expressing the fears that had been eating at her since she had last spoken to him.
"NO! Of course, not Claire! I love you!" he insisted, and she could hear that catch in his voice that made it clear how choked up he was.
"Then why would you say that!?" she cried immediately as the tears started falling down her face again.
"It's because I love you! I want to be with you like that because I'm in love with you! That's why I'm so attracted to you! I never should have said any of that. It's not how I really think! They were just thoughts I had one time as a reaction to seeing you that day … but I forced myself not to think about them... or to think about you that way… it just all came out when I got drunk, but I would never expect that from you, ever! I don't need sex, Claire. But I need you! …. I'm so sorry Claire. So sorry! I love you so much and I hate myself right now for ever hurting you like that…"
Claire let his words sink in for a moment as she wiped at her tears. She suddenly marveled at how he could have possibly known the perfect thing to say to at least make her feel better about it all if not actually able to fix it. She was still so upset that she was shaking but she had to admit that that was a pretty good speech… she had even gotten a little tingly when he said he needed her.
"…Really?... Are you sure?" she asked him hesitantly.
"YES! I'm one hundred percent sure. You've always been the only thing I've ever needed and now that I'm in love with you…. I feel like…. Like I can't even breath if you aren't around, Claire!" he said sincerely.
She sniffed as she nodded her head and finally said,
"….Okay."
"Okay? … So, we're okay?" he asked her clearly concerned.
She hesitated for a second before she said, "Well… We're not great right now…. But we're okay…."
He blew out a giant sigh of relief. "Are you sure you don't want me to come?" he asked insistently.
"I'm sure…. I'm kind of now known as the booty-call girl around here, so you showing up wouldn't help that..." She explained while wondering where her aunt might keep some aspirin. "Plus, some people around here might think you're the world's biggest jerk for calling me drunk and then sending flowers the next day with the world's lamest apology attached to it…"
"Oh…." Quil said as though he suddenly just realized the context in which his apology flowers might have been received. "Yeah, that definitely wasn't my best apology was it…."
Claire laughed for the first time and noticed how it made her head pound,
"No, definitely not."
"So… people know?" he asked, sounding concerned.
"People know." She affirmed seriously.
"…. Well that sucks…" he said.
"Yes, it does…" she agreed with her eyes shut tightly closed.
"Well… at least people know you have a boyfriend…" he reasoned.
She was stunned for a second before she could respond.
"… Is that what you are now? My boyfriend?" she asked a little skeptically.
"I'd really like to be Claire. If you'll let me… I know I screwed things up but…. I love you…. I don't want you free to date other guys… or anyone thinking you're open to late night dirty phone calls from random people…" he told her honestly.
She took a full breath in before releasing it as she considered what getting into a real relationship with him would mean and if she was really willing to commit like that yet.
She thought about the last thirty-six hours… she knew that his drunk, dirty call had been a mistake and that it was an issue to work through but not a deal breaker…. There was no question for her that he truly loved her, and she couldn't deny that she was falling in love with him… if she could bring herself to admit it she knew she was already crazy in love with him. She felt like he had blindsided her by stealing her heart out from under her…. and she knew that she was at least starting to get over Bennett if not completely there yet…
"Okay." She finally agreed, after taking the time to have such an extensive internal debate. "You can be my boyfriend."
She thought she could almost hear him smiling before he said casually, "Okay, that's all I'm asking for."
"But no more drunk, booty-calls, right?" she insisted.
She knew it wasn't really necessary since he had never even called her drunk before, but she felt that since they were officially entering a relationship she needed to set a precedence that what he had done the night before was not acceptable, repeatable behavior.
"Of course, not! Claire, it will never happen again!" he insisted as Claire heard a knock on the partially opened door and looked up to see Luke pushing her door open with a paper bag that smelled like fast food and somehow simultaneously made her stomach turn and her mouth drool. She looked up and smiled at him since he had clearly brought her some food as she held up a finger to indicate that she would need a second before she gestured for him to come into the room.
"Okay… well, I actually need to go now, a friend just brought me some food." She said into the phone while directing an appreciative smile at Luke.
"Okay… you'll call me tonight?" he asked like he might be unsure.
"Yes, I'll call you tonight." She reassured just a little less enthusiastically then she usually would.
She was still marveling at the turn of events the conversation had managed to take. Twelve minutes ago, she had just promised to get on a plane and fly home…. Then she had said she just needed some time and space…. now apparently, she was his girlfriend. She had no idea how he had managed to do that but one thing she was certain of; he was the only person capable of doing that to her.
"Drink a lot of water and take something for your headache." He told her seriously.
She chuckled and said, "It sounds like you have some experience with this whole hang over thing…"
He chuckled too and said, "Alright, well I really do love you Claire."
"I know." She reaffirmed. "I love you too."
He seemed to sigh with relieve when she said it before he said goodbye and they hung up.
She looked up to see Luke standing in front of where she was sitting on her bed watching her.
"You okay?" he asked warily.
"Yup. I've only puked once so far…" she told him while reaching for the bag in his hand and gesturing to the bed next to her for him to sit down. "What are you doing here? Isn't it Saturday?"
He nodded as he sat down and pulled out a breakfast burrito that immediately made her want to puke again.
"Eat this. The protein will help…" he said with understanding as he handed it to her. She nodded as she opened it and started to slowly eat it as he continued. "Yeah, I had to come in to shoe Layla since we didn't get to her yesterday during our naptime and all."
Claire nodded. "I'll help you. I just need to shower first."
"Please do. You smell like beer and puke!" he said, and she shoved at him with her left arm as she scoffed out a laugh.
"Here." He said handing her a water bottle and a bottle of aspirin.
"Wow, thanks! Aren't you accommodating this morning? Thanks for the food by the way!" she noted, taking it from him and immediately taking two pills and drinking half the water.
"Well… the truth is, I feel a little responsible you got drunk last night…" he admitted.
"Why?" she asked confused while he pulled out a taco and started eating it as he leaned back against the wall.
"Because you're sixteen and I gave it to you… and then practically dared you to drink it…" he explained.
Claire rolled her eyes. "You didn't force me to do anything… nobody does… besides it was literally just one beer. Who knew I'd be such a lightweight?"
"Well we probably should have guessed from the size of you but yeah your alcohol tolerance was pretty pitiful!" he told her before she shoved at him again, but said in agreement,
"Seriously though…."
"So…. You okay?" he asked while staring at her like he was evaluating her.
"Yeah, I'm fine… why?" she said sincerely.
"Because you have makeup all over your face like you've been crying your eyes out." He explained.
She gasped as she wiped at her face since she had completely forgotten she had never taken her makeup off from the night before and that she must look rough since she had been crying quite a bit while she spoke with Quil.
"Crap! I forgot I was wearing makeup! Aw well, I'm just about to shower anyways." She admitted while giving up on cleaning it away and decided to focus on eating the burrito before she threw it back up.
"So… who was on the phone?" he not so subtly segued into her business.
She shrugged and looked away.
"My….. Boyfriend." She admitted for the first time after a moment of hesitation.
"I thought you guys had to breakup?" he asked confused as he pulled out some tater tots and held them out to share with her. "That he dumped you for your friend… did he ditch her to come back to you?"
Claire shook her head before she explained. "Not Bennett. Someone else."
She looked over at him when he was silent instead of responding. Once she looked at him he said darkly,
"You're kidding me. You got together with booty-call doucheface? I'm the king of bad decisions and I can tell you right now that is a terrible idea."
She knew exactly how weak she must look to him, but she shook her head and tried to explain,
"It's not like that! He loves me…. Really!" she insisted when he scoffed at her. "You don't understand… you think he's just saying what I want to hear because he's trying to get in my pants but it's really not like that!"
He rolled his eyes at her before he turned to face her head on and said, "Then what is it like?"
She was frozen for a second as she tried to think of how to adequately explain Quil before she said,
"I've known him since I was two…." Luke seemed surprised by that unexpected fact. "He's been my best friend for years… and after all this crap went down with Bennett he was there for me… he's always been there for me… and then we just sort of took this friend love we've always had and found that it had grown into more… a lot more…." She explained sincerely.
"Then what about the booty-call?" he asked pointing out the obvious flaw in her logic.
She shrugged, "That was just stupid but not intentional."
He scoffed at her and she said,
"Are you honestly telling me that you've never said something you shouldn't have when you were drunk or high?"
He shrugged like he couldn't argue with her before finally asking.
"You're sure about this?"
"Yes." She said with certainty.
"Well then, I've expressed my concern as a friend and the rest is on you." He said simply.
She smiled, "I will accept full responsibility for that!"
"Good! Now come on, I'll wrap your arm again, so you can shower. Layla seems skittish today and I think I'm going to need you to keep her calm." He said quickly, like he was satisfied with the conversation as he stood up and helped her up off the bed.
Claire came into the barn thirty minutes later with a clean face, wet hair and feeling better for having eaten and taken the aspirin. She found Luke struggling with an indeed skittish Layla. He couldn't seem to get her to hold still so that he could even get a good grip on her foot.
"Whoa girl! Shh… Hold still now!" Claire said quickly as she ran up to Layla and grabbed her head with her left hand, so she was cradling it into her chest.
Layla chuffed, agitated for a moment before she responded to Claire and calmed down, stepping forward to be closer to her and snuggle against her.
"There you are! Took you long enough." said a slightly irritated Luke.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got here as soon as I could." She responded quickly thinking about how she hadn't even taken the time to blow dry her wet hair hanging down her back or apply any makeup to her splotchy hangover face.
Luke just rolled his eyes and got to work quickly on shoeing Layla now that she was holding still for Claire.
They worked together for about twenty minutes while Luke worked quickly, and Claire tried to control the twisting in her stomach as she soothed Layla and kept her calm. When she got to the point of wanting to puke again she decided to look for a distraction to try to stop from thinking about it so much.
"So…. I like your motorcycle…" she said randomly.
"Um.. thanks." He answered.
So much for a distraction. Claire thought to herself.
"So, what's the story there? Did you just wake up one morning and decide that a car with four wheels was just not exciting enough for you?" She asked in another attempt to engage him.
"Not really…. I sort of inherited it actually." He admitted.
"Inherited it? From who?" Claire asked confused.
"Uh, my best friend's parents gave it to me after he overdosed." Luke explained causally, causing Claire to briefly freeze up in shock.
"Your best friend overdosed?" Claire asked shocked and a little scared of the idea.
"Yeah." He admitted. "I don't really tell people about it… but yeah he overdosed that first time I was in rehab… probably why it didn't take…" he mused causally.
"Luke… I'm so sorry. That's terrible." She said looking around Layla to look at him.
He shrugged and said, "Yeah, it sucked…" he suddenly froze and looked up at her. "You're different though, right?"
"Different how?" She asked confused.
"You'll be okay… you've got your shit together. You're going to keep doing your peppy cheerleading stuff and graduate high school and everything…" he said.
"Um... yeah… that's the plan…" she responded, confused.
"I'm just cursed… being my friend doesn't usually end well." He explained.
"What do you mean?" She asked more confused than ever.
"All my friends… most of them don't make it to eighteen… that's the curse… they all overdose before they actually ever grow up." He said seriously.
Claire was shocked and stunned but could tell he seriously believed in this apparent curse.
"Luke. I'm going to make it to eighteen!" She said confidently. "That's awful about all of your friends, really, but it's not going to happen to me."
He just sighed and nodded his head silently. "That's why I need to stick with you… you'll keep me clean." He mused.
Claire nodded and said, "That's true… life is better when you aren't high."
Luke stood up as he finished the last shoe and muttered softly, "Well I don't know about that…."
"You don't think life is better when you're clean?" Claire asked him sincerely.
"Oh, I didn't say that… yeah, overall life is better… but being high wasn't too bad either." He teased with a wink.
She scoffed at him and rolled her eyes.
He left for the weekend after that and Claire spent the rest of her Saturday relaxing with Tami while doing her best to hide all her hang over symptoms. She thought she did alright except when Tami would ask her a question unexpectedly and her loud voice would cause Claire to flinch. She was worried when the third time this happened Tami's eyes narrowed in on her suspiciously, but Claire did her best to look normal as she immediately put all of her attention on Sarah's toenails she was painting left handed. Tami went back to her magazine after a second and didn't say anything about it, so Claire figured she must be in the clear.
That evening Claire took as long as possible getting ready for bed while she showered and brushed and then blow dried her hair and then in-depthly flossed her teeth before doing her regular routine. There was a large part of her that was excited to speak with Quil. Life was always better for Claire the more that Quil was involved, but there was also a part of her that felt incredibly nervous that she didn't know how it would go.
She wasn't angry at him anymore, but she wasn't completely over what had happened yet either. She also wasn't sure how this call might be different from every other one of their phone calls since the nature of their relationship had now completely changed and that made her more than a little nervous.
Finally, at eleven thirty (she had started getting ready for bed at ten) she curled up into the deep corner or her mattress where the two walls met and grabbed the extra blanket that was always folded at the foot of the bed. She used it as protection as she pulled it all the way to her chest and used her casted arm to pin it there. She blew out a nervous breath before she hit call on Quil's contact.
It rang one time before,
"Hey… I was starting to think you had forgotten about me."
Claire took in a breath quickly before saying reasonably,
"Have I ever forgotten about you before?"
"I guess not." He reasoned.
It was silent for a moment while she didn't know quite how to respond or what to say. She didn't think she had ever felt so awkward talking to Quil before.
"So, how are you feeling?" He asked casually, seeming completely unfazed by their current tension.
"Better!" She said immediately grabbing onto the topic. "I drank some water, took some aspirin… Luke made sure that I had a breakfast burrito for the protein… I think Tami might have been a little suspicious this afternoon, but I tried to keep things as normal as possible, at least I didn't throw up again."
"Good…" Quil said casually before adding, "Who's Luke?"
"Luke? He's another hand here. We're friends now." Claire said quickly, surprised she hadn't mentioned him before.
"Is he the one you got drunk with?" Quil asked.
Claire laughed a little and said,
"Oh no, he doesn't drink anymore. I think Sarah was the closest to being as wasted as I was, but the truth is a normal person would have to drink at least three times as much as I did to actually get to that point."
"What do you mean, doesn't drink 'anymore'?" Quil seemed to probe while ignoring the quip about how little alcohol she had drunk.
"Um… Luke is an addict…. A recovered addicted." She clarified while scratching at her head and yanking her hand through her hair anxiously.
"You're friends with an addict?" Quil asked concerned.
"…. Recovered addicted…" Claire corrected, ".. Yeah, I guess so. I mean I don't think of him as 'an addict' like it's a defining characteristic… he's just Luke.." she tried to explain.
"So, you aren't worried about spending a lot of time around a potentially volatile drug addict?" Quil questioned.
"Quil…" Claire said reasonably.
"What? It's a fair question…" Quil reasoned against her.
"No… It's really not." She replied.
"How is that not fair?" Quil asked a little defensively.
"You can't box people in like that. Being a recovered addict is just one part of who Luke is…. It'd be like defining you by your age… like if someone asked me aren't you worried about dating an older guy who is potentially perverted? It's all about perspective… your age doesn't define who you are, it's just one of the the many things that are a part of you." Claire gently chastised him.
Quil was silent for a second while he blew out a breath. He sounded resigned when he said,
"'Kay let's talk about it…"
"What do you mean?" Claire asked confused.
She didn't feel that it was her place to discuss whatever past challenges Luke was overcoming.
"Our age difference… does it bother you?" Quil asked sounding a little strained.
"Oh!" Claire said surprised. She sat up a little straighter, preparing for a serious conversation. "No. Our age difference has never bothered me before."
"Yeah, but we've also never been together before." He said reasonably.
"…That's true…" she mused. "But I guess if it really bothered me than we wouldn't be together… it's like I said, you aren't Quil-the-thirty-one-year-old to me, you're just my Quil."
"…Yeah… I don't think that'll hold up in court." Quil replied quickly.
"…Well… then we won't tell people. No one has ever been able to understand our relationship just from the outside anyways so… we'll just keep it quiet until I look closer to your age." She reasoned.
"That won't bother you? Living a lie?" He asked skeptically.
"We won't be living a lie…. All the people close to us will know. My family, the pack, they'll all know. Maybe I just don't tell the girls on my squad who are all just busy looking for dates for prom anyways.. and maybe you don't come to parent night at my school anymore…" she teased lightly, trying to make the conversation feel less intense.
"I don't know, Claire…" Quil said hesitantly.
"Okay, let's talk about this…" Claire repeated back. "Does our age difference bother you?"
It was silent on the other end for a moment before Claire reminded him,
"…Quil, I can't hear shrugs…."
He chuckled softly before he said with an exhale, "Yeah, I guess it kind of does…."
Claire immediately tensed as she squeezed the blanket tighter to her chest.
"…Okay…. Is it something I did..?" She asked a little nervously thinking that while she never felt a difference in their maturity he must have noticed one.
"No, Claire! It's not you! …. It's your age…. You're still so young…" he said seriously.
Claire nodded her head before she said slightly exasperated, "Aren't you the one who said I shouldn't give you a hard time about your age since it's not something you can control!?"
"…. Right…" he said hesitantly. ".. It's just that you're only sixteen! If sixteen-year-old me saw me at thirty-one dating a sixteen-year-old I would have kicked my ass!"
Claire processed what he was saying for a minute before asking, "Is that how I seem to you? Like just any other sixteen-year-old?"
He seemed to think for a moment before saying, "No. You're way more mature than me most days…"
"Okay, so then why are you holding it against me?" She asked sincerely.
"I'm not holding it against you, Claire. It's just…" he faded off uncertainly.
She made sure to speak in her softest tone, knowing that he was clearly feeling insecure about this and that this was the best way to get him to open up about it, before she asked,
"Just what?"
"I just don't want you to miss experiences you should be having at this age because we're acting like you're older than you are…." He admitted softly.
"You remember the other day when you were talking about how I can't take responsibility for your choices… that I need to let you own them?" She said immediately.
"Claire…" he argued clearly already knowing what she was getting at.
"Quil, has it occurred to you that I might not want to have the experiences most people my age are having?" She asked him without hesitation.
"How do you know you don't want them if you never have the chance to have them to start with?" He immediately argued.
"Because I have had them. I had four solid months of having quintessentials teenaged experiences and you know what I took away from all of it?" She asked him sincerely.
"What?" He asked a little skeptically.
"One… being a teenager is completely overrated…. High school sucks and we both know it…. And two… I can't live my life without you… I had to actively try to not think about you as much as possible for four solid months… and don't think Bennett didn't notice either! I was probably a pretty terrible girlfriend to him since every time there was a moment quiet enough to actually think I was just focused on not thinking about you! So, I know that that isn't what I want… I just want you!" She said surprised she had to admit it to him.
"I don't know, Claire…" he said still unsure.
"Do you remember the first time you kissed me?" She asked immediately. "Do you remember what you said?"
She paused for a second before continuing without giving him the chance to respond.
"You said, that there would be a time when I wasn't hurting so much over Bennett and that we belonged together and then you showed me how much we belonged together with that kiss! Do you remember?" She said insistently. Just remembering it was giving her a feeling of absolute certainty.
He chuckled a little and said confidently, "Yeah, I do."
She pictured him running a hand through his hair as he smiled.
"And at the airport? What you said, and the way you kissed me?" She continued.
"I remember." He said happily.
"Okay. So, Quil Ateara the fifth… that, that is why we are supposed to be together. So just hold onto that until I'm not so young that it bothers you anymore, got it!?" She said forcefully while using his own words against him.
He laughed a little before he just said simply in response,
"I love you."
"I know... that's why we belong together, remember!?" She said smart-alecy before she continued sweetly, "But I love you too!"
He laughed at her response.
"I miss you." He sighed.
"I miss you too, Baby." She told him honestly while trying the endearment out for the first time. She suddenly loved the way it fit him.
He blew out a large breath, clearly struggling with her being away from him. Claire bit her lip just thinking about it. Maybe she should get a flight home on Monday, she mused, but then she thought about having to go back to school and about leaving the ranch she had just started working at and realized she wasn't ready to come back yet.
"So, you never told me about the bonfire? How'd it go? Did Paul get drunk and start rambling about the good ol' days again?" She asked trying to take his mind off of it.
He chuckled before responding, "No, not this time… it was pretty cool telling the heritage stories this time though... it's been so long since we've had a new wolf to experience them." He laughed again as he thought about it and said, "You should have seen Bennett's eyes! I've never seen someone in such shock and awe!"
Claire chuckled and started asking him who had been at the bonfire. They talked more about their last couple days until Claire yawned hugely, exhausted since she hadn't gotten much rest the last couple of nights. To her surprise, Quil yawned hugely too.
"You seem as tired as I am.." she noted.
"I didn't sleep much last night…" he said honestly.
"How come?" She asked surprised. Quil usually slept like the dead once he zonked out.
"Because of you!" He laughed. "How could I sleep when you were avoiding me and I didn't know why?"
Claire shrugged her shoulders up and down as she said, "Eh… you needed to sweat it out a bit."
He chuckled in response and said emphatically, "Oh, I definitely did!"
Claire smiled as he yawned hugely again and then said, "Alright, Nino. Well we better get some sleep."
"Seriously!?" She asked in disbelief.
"What?" He asked confused.
"We're actually dating now, and you still see me as a 'Nino'?" She said exasperated.
He laughed in response. "Sorry, babe. I think you'll just always be my little Nino."
"That's so weird, Quil!" She insisted.
"I know, but whatcha gonna do?" He said clearly unfazed.
She rolled her eyes and said, "Alright, goodnight, Quil. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He yawned hugely again before he said, "I love you, Nino."
"Ugh!" She groaned, "Don't say it like that!" She said insistently, suddenly thinking it sounded more like her dad had just told her he loved her than that her boyfriend… her soulmate… had.
He laughed at her reaction before asking,
"How should I say it then, 'I love you, Claire-bear.'?"
Claire shuddered a little, thinking that was even worse since Claire-bear was what her family always called her.
"Mm-nmm. Say, 'I love you Baby.'" She replied thinking about how much she loved it when he called her that.
"I love you Baby." He immediately said sincerely.
"I love you Baby." She said back.
He chuckled and said, "You're right, that's way better."
"See!" She laughed.
And they kept laughing and talking as Claire slid down her bed and turned off her light.
*Author's Note* So what did you think? Claire and Quil are officially together now! Took em long enough, right? ;)