DISCLAIMER; The song lyrics are from Taylor Swift's Last Kiss.
One night, in January, after everyone had already left, it was just Sam and Barney alone in the grocery store. He had gotten angry earlier that day
at another employee who had left while in the middle of putting up a banner over the freezers. Now he stood, his hands on his hips, glowering at the
half of the banner that was dangling on the ground. He had a fear of heights, and the stupid thing was up above his comfort level. He could wait till
the day after tomorrow, when Sabrina would be in, but that would mean leaving it hanging there for a whole day. But then he got an idea. Looking
around, he spotted Sam with his clipboard, checking off her stocked items for that day.
He approached her. "Are you afraid of heights?"
Sam looked up. "Not really. I don't like flying or Ferris wheels, but that's about it. Why?" she replied, handing him the clipboard.
He took it, and pointed to the dangling banner. Sam could tell he was annoyed, by the slight pout of his bottom lip. Ignoring the squirming in her
stomach, Sam followed his gaze, and noticed the banner. Tutting, she rolled her eyes and grabbed the step ladder. As she dragged it to the wall,
she made a mental note to kck the guy who left it there.
"I'll hold it, I just can't, you know-" Barney offered.
Sam shrugged. "It's not a big deal, I don't mind." She grabbed the banner and moved far enough to the other side to prop the step ladder up.
Barney held it steady as she climbed up onto the top, and pinned the banner up.
"How's that?" she asked her boss over her shoulder.
Barney leaned back, and examined the banner's position. Perfect. "It's perfect. Thank you so much."
He held onto the side of the step ladder as Sam made to step down. Predictably, her foot missed a step, and she yelped as she tumbled downward.
Barney reacted instinctively, grabbing onto her waist as she fell on top of him.
Sam found herself straddling his waist, while Barney laid flat on the floor on his back. Sam's eyes were huge and both of their faces were red as a
brick. For a few seconds, neither one moved, just stared at each other, Barney's hands glued to her hips still, while her hands laid on either side of
his head. Both could feel the other's heartbeat racing.
Then Sam blinked. "Uh, are you ok?" she asked, before quickly scrambling off of her boss. Barney nodded. Sam glanced down at her shirt, making
sure there were no lost buttons.
"Are you? Looks like you pulled something," Barney said.
Sam shook her head, tugging the bottom of her shirt down. "I'm fine." she said.
Barney stood up and offered her his hand. "Thank you, for, you know, helping with that." he said.
Sam smiled slightly. "Anytime. And thank you, for breaking my fall," She giggled nervously.
After that, things seemed different between them. Barney couldn't seem to meet her eyes, but it wasn't only him now. Sam always found excuses to
not be around Barney, or left alone with him. Truth is, they both felt something in that moment. Something that neither one was ready to address.
Barney didn't know about Sam's past, or even if she had one. Sam on the other hand, was a bit embarrassed by her lack of experience with men.
She'd forgotten about the butterflies in the stomach feeling that she had now. Barney was feeling the same, but was too shy to say or do anything.
So he felt just as content watching from the sidelines as she worked, occasionally spending evenings with her and her cousin's family during
barbeques.
A month had passed since the incident, and Barney had given her the day off (she'd now been promoted and worked alongside Sabrina as a cashier)
since she had a bunch of things to do for school. She stopped in to grab a drink on her way home, and to tell Sabrina and Jimmy her good news.
Barney saw her from his office, wearing a yellow floral print sundress, her hair in a long braid.
"I passed! They finally got my info. I start my next semester in a week." she said happily to Sabrina.
Sabrina smiled. "That's great!" she said.
The next few days were spent studying, and working, with little time in between. The whole weekend flew by quickly.
She had a spring in her step now. One that was much more noticeable than before. And she wore makeup. Normally, Barney disapproved of his
employees wearing makeup, but it was subtle, so he allowed it. And he thought she looked pretty with it. Especially since it seemed to attract more
customers to her register.
"My daughter loves your pretty eyes," one lady said, her little girl smiling brightly up at Sam.
"Aw, thank you, sweetheart." She smiled down at the little girl, giving her a friendly wink.
She worked three days a week, while the rest of her time was spent studying. Virginia and Burt gave her space, but worried when she became too
caught up in her studies. A few times they would hide her books when they knew she'd made enough progress to take a break. Lucky for her, most
of the time, she had finished enough so that she wouldn't have to work on any homework for a whole week.
The day after Valentine's Day, Sam looked at the board in the employees lounge, writing down her schedule. Her stomach clenched as she realized
she would be alone with Barney that evening. The entire day, the butterflies fluttered, more and more with each passing hour.
The sky was dark as the last customers left. The doors closed with a louder click than they usually did, or so it seemed. Sam's hands shook slightly
as she went about her duties. She was aware that Barney was in his office, taking care of his stuff.
If she was honest, she would say that she kind of wished that something would happen. But little did she know, that Barney was hoping the same
thing.
Sam finished closing up her register, heading toward the doors to lock them. As she stepped away from the counter, a familiar song began playing
over the radio, catching her off guard.
She stopped for a fraction of a second, her heart skipping several beats. As she locked the doors, she bit her lip, trying to ignore the tears
threatening to fall from her eyes.
I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered
For just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go away?
Away
Barney never noticed the silence. But he did notice the soft voice that was drifting towards his open door. Frowning slightly, he listened. He'd never
heard her sing before. As he listened, he caught the sadness in her voice. Slowly, he got up, walking to the doorway. There she stood, her eyes
closed as she swayed from side to side gently. Her voice sounded far away, like the words falling from her lips were for someone who couldn't hear.
Her hands were clutched at her heart. Lifting her arm, she gracefully swirled herself in a circle, obviously eons away in her mind. Her expression was
unreadable, almost like she was see something he couldn't.
But now I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
As she continued, she slowly drifted her way closer to the office door, where Barney stood, entranced. She was beautiful, and her voice was melting
his heart as she twirled and swayed on her feet. He gasped softly when he caught a glimpse of her face. Her eyes were closed, and she totally got
lost in the music, oblivious to her surroundings. But she was crying silently. She swayed to the music, as though she were dancing with a ghost,
until she caught Barney's eye. By then, she was less than a foot away from him. She lost her footing and slipped, catching Barney off guard.
...So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep.
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe.
And I keep up
with our old friends just to ask them how you are...
Barney quickly wrapped his arms around her, catching her before she fell onto the floor.
...Hope it's nice where you are...
It was silent for a moment, as they both stared at each other, the radio now singing alone.
..And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind...
Barney's chest felt heavy as he brought one hand up to her cheek, where a stray tear fell. He brushed it away, feeling like he was seeing a baby bird
finally coming out of its shell. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed her lips. For a moment, just a single moment, it was perfect. Sam felt her soul
begin to stir, as though it had finally woken from a deep and fitful nap, having cried itself to sleep. Her chest ached, the beating of her heart
reminding her almost painfully that she was indeed still alive. She brought her hands up to Barney's chest, while a small voice screamed at her to
stop.
Barney gently wrapped his arm around her waist, intending to pull her closer, but his touch seemed to bring Samantha's attention back to reality.
She gasped, and opened her eyes.
Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last...
"No...I can't..." she sobbed, pulling out of Barney's arms before running out the open back door. Barney stared after her, unsure of what to make of
her. He was confused and concerned to say the least.
He stayed behind, now pondering what to do next. He'd wanted to ask her on a date, but her reaction to him kissing her made him think twice. He
was also worried for her well being. Was she ill? Did she go through something traumatic? Did he hurt her? Did he cross a line?
Samantha ran, she ran so fast, she didn't even feel the ground flying beneath her feet. She ran so fast, the raindrops falling seemed to miss her
pale skin. When she got to the front porch, she collapsed in front of it, resting her forehead against the old wooden door. Her fist weakly pounded
against it, and her face screwed up in intense agony as she cried.
That was how Mawmaw found her. It was a stroke of luck that she was lucid at that moment. The old woman sat in the lawn chair beside the door,
and Sam, aware of her presence, moved to rest her head in Mawmaw's lap. She was silent for a while, softly stroking Sam's matted, now soaked
hair. Then Sam sat up, running her hands through her hair.
"I can't- I can't do it..." She couldn't get the words out. Her chest felt painfully tight, and her head was pounding. A fresh wave of tears made their
way down her cheeks, and she sobbed, grabbing at her hair. Mawmaw made a gesture that she didn't see, and suddenly, a pair of warm, familiar
arms enveloped the grief-stricken girl.
Virginia's voice said, "Yes you can. Shh, it's alright..." She held her niece as she cried. After a long while, Samantha began to calm down. Tears still
stained her cheeks, but she was able to breathe as she sat back. "Wanna tell me what happened?" Virginia asked.
Sam leaned against her shoulder. She sighed, wiping her eyes. Looking down at her hands, she whispered, "He kissed me. And...I kissed him
back..."
Images flew through her mind, a smiling teenaged boy wearing a graduation gown; The gleaming diamond ring he'd proposed with; The clock on
Sam's phone reading ''7/17/10 3:34 AM" just as she received a call from "Restricted"; The sleek brown coffin being lowered into the
ground...Then...a new face. Barney's beautiful, goofy smile. his delighted face when he tried her apple pie for the first time; His wide, shocked eyes
shining up at her as she sat on top of him. His expression as he leaned down to kiss her just moments ago...
Sam coughed and clutched at her hair again. She wanted this so badly. But she was terrified. She didn't think she knew how to love him, the way he
deserved to be loved. Virginia hugged her, gently rocking her in her arms.
"Let it out, honey. I know..."
Virginia knew. Samantha wasn't crying because she was sad. She was letting go, finally, truly letting go of the pain, the grief, the heartache, and
the loss that she'd held onto for so heart was healed. The patch that held it together was strong; she didn't need to beat herself up
anymore. She survived. She survived!
"How...?" Sam questioned no one in particular.
Virginia shook her head and answered, "The same way you got through these past four years, sweetheart. But without the pain." She reached down
and took ahold of Samantha's left hand. Gently, she pointed to the tattoo on Sam's wrist. "You got this why?"
"To...remind me to always believe in love. That I survived for a reason...That one day..." She couldn't bring herself to admit it.
"That one day," Virginia finished, "You would find someone to take this hand, and hold it. The way Barney did. And guess what? That day is today,"
So many questions spun through Samantha's mind. Her aunt seemed to sense them. She smiled knowingly, and said, "You're not done crying. Trust
me, I can tell. But you will be, after tonight. Go home, I'll drop you off, and go to bed. Let yourself heal, so you can love again. Can you do that?"
Sam nodded. She took a deep breath, and wiped her face. Despite herself, a small smile began shining through her eyes.
Virginia caught it and asked, "See?" She laughed as her niece blushed.
Sam found herself longing for Barney to kiss her again. He was a good kisser. Or maybe she was just out of practice. She bit her lip and said, "He's
a good kisser!"
They both giggled as they walked to the car.