Lessons Unexpected—Chapter 4

A/N: Quite a few of you have mentioned that you really want to see a Jasper POV. I don't want to disrupt the flow of the story by throwing him in there, so I'll make you a deal: after chapter 5 is posted, I'll put up a poll where you can vote on what scene/chapter you want to see from Jasper's POV. I'll do this every 5 chapters. Sound good?

Also, I love you all. Your reviews make my friggin day :D

It's us that made this mess. Why can't you understand? Oh, I won't sleep tonight—"Animal" by Neon Trees

Bella made it home with no further incidents and was surprised to note that she didn't feel that creepy sensation that told her she was being watched. She walked into her little apartment to find both Chrissy and Danny sitting in front of the TV and inhaling bowls of pasta as if it were their last meal on Earth.

"Did you two save some for me?" Bella asked, hanging up her jacket and kicking off her shoes.

"Mmm, thove dop," Danny mumbled through a mouthful.

Bella rolled her eyes and wandered into the kitchen, calling as she went, "With those charming manners, it's a wonder why you don't have a boyfriend!"

She looked over her shoulder to see Danny give her the one finger salute without taking his eyes from the TV. She laughed and turned to find a bowl of pasta sitting on the stove top with a dish covering it to keep it warm for her. She pulled off the dish, grabbed a fork and headed for the living room to join her house mates. She climbed over the back of the couch and plopped down beside Danny before she started to inhale her own pasta. It was delicious, which meant that Chrissy cooked. Danny may have been gay, but that didn't mean he had any of the stereotypical good qualities that were supposed to come with it. Bella and Chrissy often harrumphed over his inability to cook, his distaste for shopping (though, Bella secretly agreed with him on that one), his general disregard for his appearance and his complete and utter lack of anything remotely resembling décor sense. The boy couldn't match his jeans with his sweater if his life depended on it, let alone match the rug with the couch pillows.

"What are we watching?" Bella asked after swallowing her mouthful.

"The Mentalist," Chirssy said, just as the commercials ended and the show started up again.

"Oooh!" Bella said, wiggling beside Danny to get comfortable, "I love this show. Such a hottie."

"I know, right?" Chirssy said, a little wistfulness in her voice.

"Okay, shut up bitches, I'm trying to watch the hot man and your blabbering is ruining my fantasies in which he's on his knees in front of me," Danny said, point his fork at each of them in turn.

Well, there were some things about Danny that followed the stereotype. His fondness for drama, being one.

"Queen," Chrissy muttered, not trying to hide it at all. Danny leaned over and pinched her bare thigh, causing her to squeal and swear at him.

"Make me miss any more of the hotness and I swear to god I will pee in your shampoo," Danny told her. Bella snorted into her bowl as Chrissy gave in and they both went back to watching the show. She continued to eat her pasta and observe her roommates as they watched the show, both of them totally engrossed. They were both two very lovely people and she couldn't imagine life without them in it. They were often her source of laughter and amusement in a world where she found herself constantly disillusioned by the cruelty of human beings...and vampires too, if she were being honest with herself.

Bella sighed and mentally smacked herself for letting her mind go back to vampires yet again. Fucking Jasper, she groused mentally, I wish he'd stayed wherever it was that he came from.

"You alright there dollface?" Chrissy asked, leaning forward so that she could look past Danny and meet Bella's eye.

"Yeah, just...a long fucking day. Weird shit at class, then a stupid customer at work, just one of those days, ya know?" Bella asked.

Chrissy nodded sympathetically, "How 'bout you go get ready for bed early? Danny and I will do the dishes."

Bella looked at Danny who shrugged, not really caring, his eyes still on the show. "No, I couldn't do that," Bella said, "you guys cooked dinner, I'll clean up."

"Most of it is already done, and Danny didn't really cook, so he can help me," she nudged him and he grinned, rolling his eyes but he said nothing.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes! Now go, you look beat," Chrissy said.

Bella smiled, "Thanks you guys, I've got it all tomorrow, it's my day off, so I'll make you something good."

"Enchiladas?" Chrissy asked, looking hopeful.

"Of course!" Bella said, putting her bowl down on the couch beside her so that she could crawl back over the way she came. Before she could move though, Danny finally tore his attention away from the TV and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.

"Start taking better care of yourself," he said softly, looking her in the eye, "you look like shit."

Bella grinned, "Thanks Dan, you always know how to make a gal swoon."

Danny matched her grin, "Screw that. You girls have something going on down there that terrifies me. It's like a toothless sea monster."

Bella, having heard this before, merely rolled her eyes and kissed Danny on the top of his head as she clambered over the back of the couch, grabbing her bowl as she went. She rinsed it out and deposited it in the sink and headed for the shower, intent on taking a long one. She turned on the water, stripped down, and stepped into the hot stream of water. She felt it massaging her shoulders, running in rivulets down her body, warming her to the bone. She hadn't realized how cold she was until she had stepped into this hot embrace. She thought about what had happened over the course of the day and began to shiver, before she knew it she was trembling uncontrollably, her whole body quaking.

What have I done? What if I get my friends killed? I should have never said anything to him in class and I definitely should not have slapped him. Christ, Bella! What were you thinking?

But Bella didn't have any answers for herself so she continued to stand under the hot water as her body shook, reminding her of a similar night where she had thrown herself into a hot shower and tried to stop her body from shivering violently. But on that night the shakes had been adrenaline and excitement, not fear and horror. That night, Edward had been waiting for her in her bedroom, waiting to hold her in his arms until the sun came up. The differences between then and now were so stark that Bella felt the hole in her chest, the one that she had carefully patched up by trying to forget, rip open with a ferocity that left her breathless. She fell to her knees, pain lancing up into her legs, as her arms instinctively wrapped around her middle in a gesture that she hadn't used since she was eighteen years old and had been told her mother was dead. She had vowed then that she would never let herself be put in this position again, and yet, here she was; on her knees, arms wrapped around herself, naked and sobbing.

Bella knelt there for a long time, how long, she wasn't sure, but the water started to turn cold and she realized that she had probably just used all of the hot water for the entire complex. Half blind with water and her own tears, she reached forward and shut off the taps. The water slowed and finally stopped, leaving her kneeling in the bottom of the tub, still shivering. She stood up slowly, wincing at the pain in her knees, and reached out for a towel. Still shaking, she wrapped it around herself and stepped out of the tub, one hand on the wall for balance.

She looked into the mirror and nearly groaned aloud. She hoped no one saw her on her way from the bathroom to her bedroom because she really did look like shit now. Her eyes were bloodshot, red rimmed and swollen from her crying. Even if there wasn't the physical evidence of her break down, Bella was still holding herself around the middle and the shadow in her eyes bespoke the misery she felt. She just wanted to go to her room, collapse on her bed and sleep until she forgot about Edward Cullen...again.

After drying herself off, she re-wrapped the towel around her body and grabbed her clothes, letting herself out of the steam filled bathroom. She padded down the hall quietly, though there really wasn't much need, the TV was still blaring from the living room. Her bedroom door was slightly ajar and she slipped in, closing it quietly behind her, hoping that neither of her room mates would think to check in on her. There was no way she could explain the state of her face to them right now. She moved forwards in the semi-darkness, looking for the laundry hamper. She could have turned the light on but with her mood she preferred the dark, so she wandered her room, putting her dirty clothes where they belonged and getting a fresh pair of pyjamas. She was heading for the bed, her p.j's in her hand, when she accidentally stubbed her toe on her computer desk.

"Motherfucker!, Bella hopped around, holding onto her toe as the tears began to leak from her eyes once again. She sat down on the ground, none too gracefully either, and cried some more. The adrenaline had kicked in and her toe barely hurt anymore but it seemed that now that she had started crying, she couldn't manage to stop.

Bella clutched the towel closer to her body and leaned against the leg of her desk that had taken her out. She was assaulted by residual visions of Edward, the times that they had spent together; the good, the bad, the downright cruel, all blended together. She saw them in the beginning, their tentative friendship that had blossomed into a relationship, one that she thought had been suffused with love; she saw Edward's fearful face as he crouched over her, protecting her from James; she saw him in that same defensive crouch, protecting her from Jasper in his own house mere hours before he would walk away from her forever. She cried harder.

Again, time passed without Bella really noticing it. Eventually her breathing calmed and the tears slowed until they stopped. Bella contemplated getting up and putting some clothes on but the effort involved just wasn't worth it at the moment, instead, she settled herself into a more comfortable position on the floor. Kneeling for several hours on hard surfaces had taken its toll on her knees, so she stretched her legs out in front of her and crossed them at her ankles. She wiped her face on the edge of her towel and sighed deeply, feeling a little better after the long cry.

"Well, it's about time," a voice drawled from the darkness by her bed.

Sore knees forgotten, Bella shot up, clutching her towel closer to her chest, "What the hell do you think you're doing here!" she hissed.

Jasper strolled forward into the pool of light that entered her window from the streetlamp outside. His thumbs were hooked into his belt loops casually as he looked her up and down. He smirked and she felt her blood boil.

"What's the matter, Bella? Had a rough day?" he was taunting her, she knew it, but she couldn't stop herself from rising to the bait.

"Yeah, I wonder why that is? It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the sudden reappearance of a certain vampire that I have no pleasure in seeing?" she snapped at him.

"Well, I wasn't going to stay but I have to say, I was curious about you. And then you had to go and challenge me, I can't turn down a challenge," he replied calmly.

"Challenge? What are you talking about?" she demanded, easing backwards a bit.

"Oh, you mean, besides smacking me across the face?" Jasper said, raising an eyebrow and stepping even closer to her. Bella tried to step back but was met by the hard wood of her closet door. "That bullshit about Alice? That was a challenge Bella, and we both know it. You tried to rub some salt in my wounds, not thinking that I would retaliate. Trust me, I have plenty of weapons against you in my arsenal. Shall I tell you about how Edward has taken Tanya as his mate? You know, from how I hear it, they're worse than Emmett and Rose with all the fucking. Who would have thought ol' Eddie had it in him?"

"Fuck you, Jasper," Bella whispered, her lips trembling, "That wasn't how I meant that comment about Alice, and you know it."

"Do I?" He grinned and walked forward purposefully until he was standing right in front of her, he glanced down at her, taking in the towel that barely covered her most intimate parts, "Well, well, Bella. You've certainly grown into that body of yours, haven't you? I mean," he paused and licked his lips, "you're no Tanya Denali so I can see why Edward didn't stick around, but still, I could have some fun with those curves of yours."

Something inside Bella snapped. She whipped around and grabbed the nearest item within arm's reach, it was her desk lamp. She swung around and struck Jasper with it, smashing it to pieces, but he didn't even blink. That only fuelled her rage.

"Fuck you!" she growled, "You're the reason why I'm here alone, why he left me!"

Jasper shrugged nonchalantly, "Nah, I'm just the convenient excuse, the scapegoat if you will."

"Bullshit! Edward loved me once! You changed that!"

Jasper laughed and crossed his arms over his chest, "And just how could I do that? Face it Bella, he never loved you. He was curious, you intrigued him. Once the fascination lost its appeal, he stopped caring. It's in our nature, you know."

Bella felt pain lance through her as she remembered Edward's words, My kind are easily distracted.

"You manipulate emotions! Of course you could do it! Why? Because I'm human? Not good enough? Is that it?" Bella demanded. She wasn't really sure what she was saying, she had never really blamed Jasper before now, but she was furious and screaming the first thing that came to her mind.

"You give me too much credit, Bella. As you saw in your little cafe, I cannot create someone's emotions; I can only influence them with mine. I have to summon that emotion before I project it onto the person. I cannot take someone's emotion away from them, only replace it with my own, and only then if they're weak enough. If I had been making Edward think that he was no longer in love with you, he would be here right now, because I haven't seen Edward, nor any of the Cullens, for almost five years."

Bella swallowed, trying not to believe his words, trying to ignore how much they made sense, "No. You're lying."

Jasper ignored her, "I think that five years would be sufficient time to come to his senses, to realize he really loves you, don't you think? I mean, I know he's a vampire and we tend to view time differently from you humans, but still, five years is five years."

Bella wanted to cry all over again but she refused to give him the satisfaction. She wished she could make him cry, "Perhaps your right Jasper, but what I don't understand is why Alice isn't with you."

Jasper was silent for a beat too long, "She's abroad right now. She's not a fan of the colder climates."

It was Bella's turn to laugh at him, but it sounded hollow and bitter to her ears, "Oh bullshit! She's not with you anymore is she?"

"She's not with me right now," Jasper specified, "But that doesn't mean that she isn't still my mate, that we're not still together."

Bella watched as Jasper's hands clenched into fists and heard the desperation in his tone, the unspoken meaning of his words. She laughed again.

"She left you, didn't she?" Bella taunted, feeling powerful for the first time since she smacked him in the face. "What was it, Jasper? She couldn't stand the sight of you anymore, after you attacked her human 'sister'?"

"Not that I have to explain anything to you, but no," Jasper growled with his teeth clenched. In the dim lighting, with his red eyes, he looked every inch the terrifying vampire of Hollywood movies. But Bella was no longer afraid of him. She was beyond feeling afraid of Jasper.

"Is that so?" Bella mocked him, raising a disbelieving eyebrow, "I think you're full of shit, Jasper. You stand there," she gestured to him with one hand, "acting all high and mighty, taunting me about the fact that Edward left me when you're in the exact same boat."

"I am not!" He bit out, the tendons in his neck straining.

"You are so!" Bella crowed, "You weren't good enough either! You failed your mate! God, Jasper," she put on a fake tone of concern, "that must hurt so much."

Jasper moved so fast that Bella didn't see him. She felt him though; his body collided with hers, throwing her back into the closet as she reached out to push him off. Her efforts were in vain, and she knew it, but it was instinct to fight off an attack and so she struggled against him.

"Go to hell!" he growled against her face.

And then there was pain, a sharp and terrible pain in the side of her neck. She knew exactly what it was but somehow, she was more shocked than afraid. There had been a day when she had planned for this outcome, when she had wanted a vampire to sink his razor sharp teeth into her skin, to plant his venom into her body, but now that it was happening all she could think about was how much it hurt.

She felt the pull of Jasper's swallows as he sucked her blood into his mouth. Through her hands, pressed against him in a feeble attempt at defence, she could feel the vibrations of his continuing growls. Her right hand, the one closest to his throat, slid up until she could press her fingertips against his smooth skin. She felt his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, once, twice, three times. He was taking her in rather quickly. Her hand continued upwards, around the side of his neck, her thumb grazing first his hard jaw line and then the sweet curve of his ear until her hand was tangled in his thick dark locks. They felt strange to her fingers, not as soft as she'd imagine they should be. Probably the dye job, she thought absently. She could feel the cool skin of his scalp as she slid her fingertips across it. Still, he sucked at her neck.

Slowly, the world began to dim, the light from outside faded to a light gray, barely enough to see by. Her limbs became heavy and eventually her knees buckled. Jasper held her body to his easily, not seeming to notice her limpness. Her hand managed to stay in his hair and she found herself caressing it, gently, soothingly. She didn't know why, it wasn't like she owed this man any comfort. It occurred to her that she was giving sustenance to a man who hated her, who clearly wanted her dead. Perhaps part of her would live on in him, perhaps not. She couldn't bring herself to care.

She thoughts of her roommates, just outside the confines of her room, doing their own thing and living their lives, not knowing that she was dying in the arms of a man she would have once called "brother". She thought of her father, Charlie, and how he would take the news. He was a silent and stoic man, but he had broken down and cried when the news of Renee's death reached them. They had held each other and cried for a long, long time. It had been the first time they had showed such strong emotions around each other. It would be the last, because she would never see her father again. She felt a small pang of sadness for him, she knew that he would be devastated. She thought of her mother, her sweet, hairbrained mother. Bella hoped that there was indeed a heaven and that she would have a chance to see her mother again. She missed her mother's presence, the sound of her voice, the comfort of her advice. Renee had been many things, not all of them good, but she had always been Bella's best friend and the one she ran to when in need of help. Her mother would have wanted her to forgive Jasper for this, to absolve him of his guilt, before she left the world for good, but she couldn't make herself do that. It wasn't that she didn't want to forgive Jasper, she already had, but that wasn't what he needed to hear.

"Ja—Jasp—per," Bella gasped and she thought she felt Jasper halt but she was slipping away quickly and couldn't be sure, still, she continued trying to speak. "I'm s-so s-sorry. P-please, for-g-give me?"

She thought Jasper may have pulled back and looked at her but she couldn't be sure, she couldn't open her eyes anymore. She definitely felt his hand cradle her head; she tried to smile because it felt like a gentle and tender action.

"Never," she gasped, "meant...t-to...hurt...you...l-loved...yo-you."

Bella's hand dropped from Jasper's hair, no longer able to hold itself there. There was a rushing in her ears and a warmth tingling her neck.

The last thing she heard was a choked whisper from above her, so faint, she couldn't be sure if it was a creation of her mind or not.

"What have I done?"

A/N: Oh, Jasper, what have you done? Tisky, tisky.

Well? Thoughts?

PS- Just learned that Lessons Unexpected is nominated for Best Jasper/Bella in the GemAwards! Check it out: gemawards . blogspot . com