A/N: Here's another enstallment, its a little more insight to what Bella is thinking and feeling. You also get to see a little more interaction between Bella and the Cullen family...enjoy!!

Chapter 4

Bella and Esme spent most of the day talking and packing up Charlie's things. Bella was thankful for the help, knowing she would never have been able to do it on her own. There was just so much attachment to everything, her father was a packrat and thus, kept everything she ever gave him.

"I've never seen this before." Bella said as she pulled a photo album from the bottom of Charlie's nightstand.

"Bella you were his only daughter, of course he kept pictures of you."

"I always figured he did, I just never seen him as the type to make a photo album." She said as she flipped through the pictures, finding ones of her and Jacob when she visited Forks as a child. Her smiling opening Christmas presents with her front teeth missing, and when she first came to live with him when she was 17. "I was so determined moving here was a good thing, that I was doing it for the right reasons." She said as her fingers moved over the picture of her standing by her truck. Esme didn't say a word, knowing how that decision changed Bella's life, and hers.

"You know, when we first found out about you, everyone was terrified. Edward being so close to a human, wanting to be around you all the time. It wasn't safe for either of you, he was always on edge with worry, and you were so oblivious to how dangerous we were to you. So trusting." She said and Bella remained transfixed on the picture. "But that day he brought you over to meet us, the disastrous attempt at a normal dinner. I knew why he was so obsessed with you. You didn't see him before, always so withdrawn and depressed. No matter where we were or what he was doing there was just no life in him and then you walked into his life and you made him live again. You brought him back to life, you gave him life." She said and Bella finally looked at her. "He loves you and he never meant to hurt you, I really hope you two can see past all the ugliness and just love each other again. I know it's the only way for you two to be happy again." She said and Bella go up and went to the other side of the room.

"If Carlisle walked away, even if he thought it was for his own good, would you forgive him so easily? Just let it all go because he came back and said he was sorry?"

"No," she said and laughed. "I would be angry, just as you are. And don't be fooled, we have had out share of fights, several of which have been quite loud." She said and Bella watched her, looking for more, waiting to hear what else she had to say. "But, even with all the times I've been furious with him, wanted to rip him apart -- and tried. I never forgot to think of it from his side, to understand why he did it, and that no matter what he did -- I would always love him." She said and Bella walked over to the window and stared out at the forest, seeing the leaves move in the breeze, hearing squirrels on the forest floor. Esme could see it was all beginning to be too much and left, knowing Bella had a lot to consider. Esme went home, and immediately went find Edward but he was missing. She wanted to talk to him, but he wasn't anywhere in the house.

"Don't look for him, he's gone." Alice said laughing and Esme immediately looked at her.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing, I might have implied that he needed to be at a certain bookstore in Port Angeles, as a favor for me. All you have to do is suggest she'll be there and he'll go anywhere." She said and Esme shook her head.

"How do you know she's going to be there?"

"Jacob, he's going to tell her he needs something from there and then 'conveniently' not be able to make it." She said and laughed, but the laughter stopped when Jasper came in and shot a different emotion through the room.

"Alice, you shouldn't mess with this. They will find their way back to one anther, you don't need to meddle."

"They need the help Jazz, you have seen them. They belong together and I am going to see that it happens sooner rather then later."

"They have eternity, and have waited thirty years, what's a couple more?" He said and she shook her head.

"Men, vampire or human. You still don't get it." She said and stormed to their room, leaving him confused until he felt the emotions rolling off her and immediately turned to Esme.

"Nope, you walked into that one." She said and left, while Jasper desperately tried to think of how to fix things with his wife. Esme laughed as Jasper raced upstairs, in hopes of repairing things even if it wasn't possible at the moment.

"Hey you," Carlisle said when Esme walked in the kitchen. "Where have you been all day?"

"I went to see Bella, she needed some help."

"How is she?"

"Dealing, there was just so much she couldn't say or didn't know how. But I told her we'd be here when she was ready, and that she'd always have a place with us no matter what. I started to see her side of things, she asked what I would do if I was her and you walked away from me, and I started to see why she was so angry. I would be furious."

"I'm sure of it, it would be our most aggressive battle yet." He smirked and she laughed as she went willingly into his arms.

"You're right. But I also told her it wouldn't make me love you any less and that's all that mattered. They loved each other, and nothing either did would ever change that."

"How'd she take that?" He said knowing things weren't always that easy.

"She didn't say anything, I think she needed time to let it all sink in. Besides, Alice and Jake are now playing matchmaker with them, so I'm sure they will be seeing each other soon enough."

"Kids," he joked and they laughed as they went out for their hunt -- together.

Bella pulled up outside the bookstore and was about to go in when her phone rang.

"Where are you, I just got here."

"That's why I'm calling, I can't make it. Sorry Bells but Billy needs me to take him somewhere."

"It's ok, do you want me to get the book for you since I'm already here?"

"That would be great." He said and told her which one he needed. Bella walked in and started scanning the shelves for the one she needed, she could feel someone watching her, and then heard a low growl and knew who it was.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she continued to look for her book, not even bothering to look at him.

"Alice," he sighed and held up a handful of fashion magazines and books. "How about you, what are you doing here?"

"Buying a book," she said finding the one she needed.

"I see that, but this isn't your normal read, the classics are over in the back."

"Thank you I didn't know that. And I didn't come here for me, Jake asked me to meet him here and then couldn't make it." She said and straightened up. That's when she heard the growl again. "Will you stop growling at me."

"Not you," he hissed and glared at the only other person near them.

"He isn't doing anything but reading the newspaper."

"Nothing that you can hear." He said and stared to glare at the man as he followed her to the counter.

"You really shouldn't listen to others thoughts then if you don't like what they are."

"I can't help it." He said and followed her. "So what were you and Jake going to do?"

"See a movie, I wanted out of the house." She said and he seen the faraway look as she mentioned her tie to her father.

"Still want to go? I have all day and I'm sure you don't want to go home yet." He asked, hopeful she'd accept. She walked out with-out answering him. She was thinking it over, she did want to go to the movie, but wasn't sure if Edward was the best person to go with.

"Alright," she finally said and put the book in her car as they walked to the theater. Edward was tempted to put his arm around her, pull her body against his and show everyone that she was taken, but he knew it wouldn't end well. And as hard as it was, he still couldn't give in, knowing she'd leave and he'd be alone again. He didn't want to be alone, especially when he could have Bella – even it if was with her rules.

"How was your day?" He finally asked, breaking the deafening silence between them.

"Ok, Esme came to see me." She said and his head jumped up. "She helped me pack up some of Charlie's things and just talked to me." She said and he could hear the underlying hurt in her voice.

"I hope she helped."

"She did," she said and looked at him. "She offered me a place in your family. Somewhere to belong." She said and Edward stood frozen, he knew he wanted her to be family, to be his. But he also knew it was her choice and he couldn't force her there, he wanted to know what she said, did she accept the offer?

"There was no secret that she loves you like a daughter, of course she'd want you with us. Everyone does." He said and she nodded as he bought the tickets. "What did you say?" He asked cautiously, afraid of her answer, knowing how her words could hurt him.

"I thanked her, but I'm not ready." She said and even Bella could feel how upset he was at her words. She didn't want to hurt him, she should for what he did, but she couldn't. She loved him, Esme was right, despite it all she still loved him and nothing was changing that. But just because she loved him didn't mean she trusted him, and without trust there can't be a relationship – not a real one. So she softened the blow, gave him hope even when she wasn't sure there was any. "But I told her I might take her up on the offer later, once I get my life back together."

"Oh," he said and she heard the tilt in his voice that signified hope. "Well the offer will always be on the table."

"That's what she said." Bella said and smiled at him. They walked in the nearly empty theater and sat at the back. As the movie played they both started to relax, neither over thinking the moment, and just enjoying their time with one another – enjoying the moments of not being alone.

Bella and Edward finished the movie and headed back to their separate cars. Neither spoke, both just standing by their doors looking at one another. There were so many things running through their minds and Edward would have given anything to know what she was thinking in that moment. He didn't want to say goodbye, to end his day with her but wasn't sure if she felt the same way.

"Bella.." he started and was stopped by her phone. "Answer it." He said and she nodded.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, Esme wanted me to call you. She wanted to see you, we all did and hoped we could talk."Alice said and Bella shook her head.

"Well I'm not home now."

"Come on, you can come with Edward, I was going to call him but he doesn't have his phone."

"And you of course knew we were together. Conniving little Pixie."

"Be nice, I knew you needed a friend and some time away from the house. You got all that and a good day, so stop being mean."

"Fine, bye." Bella said and hung up, looking at a smug Edward.

"Follow me?" He said and she growled.

"Now who is growling." He said and walked over to his side of the car.

"I'm only going because Esme asked me to."

"Sure you are, you know you miss the family. Emmet, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and even Rosalie." He said and watched her smirk. "No arguing." He said and held his hand sup in defeat.

"Fine," she said and got in. "Race you." She called as she pulled out and took off. Edward seconds behind her as they both sped down the highway. They both pulled in at the same time, Edward getting out and opening her door for her.

"Nice try, but I'll always be the fastest." He gloated, enjoying the easy banter they found again.

"Shut up, your family is waiting." She said and went into the house.

"Bella," Emmet said as she ran to pull her into a hug. "I missed you."

"You too Emmet, but could you put me down?"

"I guess," he said and squeezed her once more, for the first time not afraid to hurt her. He moved so everyone else could come into view. She looked over and seen Jasper and Alice on two sides of the room looking at her cautiously. She felt bad now that she yelled at them, knowing she was just lashing out at anyone.

"Alcie, Jasper I'm sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have lashed out on either of you. I was just upset with the service and needed to take it out on someone." She said and Alice smiled.

"It's ok, we deserved it. We shouldn't have just showed up in your room." She said and ran over to hug her. "But we do need to discuss your wardrobe; didn't I rub off on you at all?"

"Alice no, my clothes are practical and I like them." She said and Alice pouted.

"Come on, just one makeover. You will feel better I promise. Please?" She said and Bella caved, even now she couldn't say no to her best friend, and knew she usually did feel better after Alice did them before.

"Fine, but you only have one hour." She said and Alice started to drag her to the stairs.

"I can work with that. Besides it might cheer me up too."

"Doesn't Jasper usually do that?" She asked and then remembered the distance between them that she wasn't use to. "Are you made at him?"

"He's an idiot."

"He's male of course he's an idiot. It's in their DNA, they can't help it." She joked and Alice laughed, "But why specifically?"

"It's complicated." Alice stated and then stopped. She couldn't tell Bella about the argument, because she didn't want her to know about her matchmaking plans with Jake. "He doesn't get it. But It doesn't matter I don't want to discuss him."

"Ok," Bella said knowing she was missing something.

"Let's talk about you." Alice said and Bella nodded.

"Fine, but your brother is off limits."

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you?" Alice joked and Bella had to smile.

"You wouldn't, you're too nosey." She said and Alice agreed as she started to play with Bella's hair. After a while Alice couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"I'm sorry I never saw what happened. I would have helped…" she started but Bella cut her off, knowing where she was going.

"You couldn't, that's not your fault, Jake told me he interferes with your visions. Besides you always saw me as a vampire, not I am."

"But not like this, I never thought it would be like that." She said and Bella shook her head.

"No one did, but it happened and no one can change that so don't dry. I learned a long tiem ago that you only have so much control over your life. Then, all you can do is try to put the broken pieces together and move on."

"But.."

"No buts. I am what I am because of what happened, all that happened." She said and Alice knew what she meant. "Now you have fifteen minutes left, so hurry up."

"Or you could give me more time and we could go out." She tried and Bella shook her head.

"Another night, you know Carlisle and Esme want to talk to me."

"They are right, you do belong here."

"Maybe, but as what?" She asked and Alice shook her head.

"That is the move ridiculous question. You know why you belong here and you know with who." She said and went over to her closet.

"Do I? Because I thought that once before and he so easily walked away from me." She said and changed into the outfit Alice handed her.

"Bella it wasn't easy for him, for any of us. Especially Jasper, he felt so guilty that we had to leave for a long time. He took all the blame on himself and spent even longer avoiding Edward. No matter what any of us said he blamed himself for the way Edward was, for what happened between Edward and you." She said and Bella was fuming.

"They why come back? Why now? If leaving was for my own good, if guilt ate away at you every day why wait thirty years to come back?"

"We couldn't without Edward. The family sticks together, and he is family. He always followed us no questions asked and this was the only time he asked for something, how could we say no?"

"But why did he? Why did he stay away, if he loved me and he didn't want to they why? And why return now?"

"We heard about Charlie and Esme insisted on being there for you. So we all came, wanting to make sure you were ok, had someone to help you through your grief. But Edward was hesitant.."

"Why?"

"You'd have to ask him that." She said and pulled Bella to the mirror. "This would be the perfect time. Besides he never could deny you anything, especially dressed like this." She said and headed down the hall. Bella stood there for a minute looking at her reflection.

"But he did, he denied me him." She said to herself and followed Alice downstairs, determined to get answers.