Written by me, Edited by RedViolinist (Thank you so much!)

Chapter 4: Love me Harder

This endless day was finally coming to a close. Goten was completely exhausted from Trunks and Marron's wedding. He quietly tucked his daughter into bed. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "Goodnight. I love you." He flicked off the lights, shutting the door behind him.

He let out an exasperated sigh as he walked toward the master bedroom. Thoughts continued to cloud his mind just as they had been throughout the entire day.

He tugged on his tie until it came off and continued removing more articles of clothing as he entered the dark room. Illuminated by the drawn blinds of the overly large window, that particular night, the room felt cold and uninviting.

He looked over at the king sized bed, pausing in front of it. His upper torso was now bare as he placed his white dress shirt, blue vest and purple tie onto the foot of the bed. He stared idly at the woman laying in it. The one he spent the last five years with in that same bed.

Paris left the wedding early that night and was already asleep. She was laying on her side with an arm tucked under her pillow, resting for another scheduled photo-shoot in the morning. Goten pondered as he surveyed her, tracing the curves of her beautiful, peaceful face. Her long, brown hair cascaded in waves across the pillow. The blanket only covered the lower half of her body.

His mind was blank. He felt no real connection to this woman. She was beautiful and any man would be lucky to have someone like her, but Goten felt the relationship was completely hollow. The only thing holding it together was their daughter.

He walked quietly to the bedside and pulled the blanket up, pausing to scan her again. She was wearing the silky, black and lace trimmed lingerie top he'd given her for her birthday one year. Her curves unchanged from bearing a child five years ago, maintaining her model type body. He sighed and placed the blanket over her. Just as he did every night, he leaned in and placed a kiss on her hair before rising again and making his way to the bathroom.

The warm water cascaded along his toned body. He took up much more time than usual as his thoughts wandered off to the day's events. Paris seemed to put on more of an affectionate show with him than he was accustomed to. Bra's unexpected appearance certainly took a toll on both of them.

After the long shower, Goten dried off and put on a pair of boxer briefs. He laid down next to Paris and tucked his hands behind his head, staring straight up into the dark ceiling. His thoughts continued to race through his mind that night of the love he tragically lost.

Her long blue hair, dazzling, sapphire-blue eyes, radiant smile, and the image of her in that blue strapless dress danced through his mind. That dress that pushed her breasts up and tightened around her core perfectly before flowing down to her feet stayed vividly in his mind.

He thought about the moment he confessed of his undying love for her just before the wedding started. Why did he convey his feelings so openly and immediately the second she appeared? He knew she was off limits and her response to his confession seemed to have no effect on her. It left him assuming she moved on to a new guy in Tokyo. Perhaps someone who saw and appreciated how perfect she was right off the bat.

Embarrassed by his actions, he spent the rest of the night trying to keep to himself, watching her from a distance. The sound of her voice and laughter ached in his sad heart. He couldn't fathom how much he'd missed her.

The last time he talked to her, she was a complete mess. The memory of their painful break up five years ago still seemed like it was yesterday.

Goten remembered walking in on her after listening with a heavy heart as she yelled out expletives of how much she hated him. Her room had pictures of them ripped to pieces, frames and shattered glass scattered everywhere. When she finally noticed him standing there, her eyes were swollen and red from the tears, leaving trails on her face. Her complexion was pale white.

After some choice of words and stating that she did not want to see him and his refusal to leave, she slammed the door in his face. It wouldn't stop him from trying to win her back. He continued to try to talk to her through the door. Every sentence she spoke that night haunted him to this very day:

"Deep down inside you still love Paris. You always have. You might've fallen for me, but inside it's a different story…that's why it happened, if you didn't still have feelings for her, you wouldn't have let it happen. Your feelings for me would've been strong enough to hold you back. But it wasn't…"

He turned his head to look at the woman sleeping next to him. He tried so hard over the last five years to make that sentence ring true in his heart so he could forget about Bra. Paris was the mother of his child and surely that had to mean something to him. His head turned to look back up at the ceiling as the past kept coming up of that dreadful day:

"That's why I'm leaving… I'm moving away from you… don't come after me, nothing will change… I still wouldn't want you back in my life, nor would I have the need to see you again…"

"...So no matter what, you're saying I can't be with you anymore?" He said, his voice beginning to shake.

"Goodbye Goten."

"So that's it. Everything we worked so hard for, you're just willing to throw it all away?"

"You did, why can't I?"

"Because I'm willing to work at it Bra. I've told you that I'd fight to be with you no matter what the case. But as always, you're wanting to just run away from it like you do with all our problems."

"I don't care. You caused this, so you deal with it. I'm not fighting for something that wasn't fully mine to begin with."

"Bra!"

"Goodbye Goten."

Those words were the last that he heard from her. However, the final goodbye wasn't what hurt him the most. The constant memories and flashbacks that followed and haunted him like a never ending nightmare made it so much worse. Her grim face of hatred and hurt towards him left a giant scar on his heart. He knew from then on he could never be with her again.

It never occurred to him to consider the day would come when he would walk arm in arm next to her down the aisle of a church. There was an aching feeling in him that it would be their own wedding that they would be walking down that same aisle.

He recalled the harsh sting on his heart when Trunks told him Bra accepted the roll of Marron's maid of honor for the wedding.

Goten's thoughts halted at the sound of Paris' voice, "You're thinking about her again aren't you?" Slowly, he turned his head to her. Her brown eyes shined in the faint light of the moon. He said nothing and let out a sigh of guilt then turned his eyes back up to the ceiling.

"I knew this would happen again. Especially now that you've seen her. I'm so tired of this Goten. Why can't you get over her? She's not moving back and you know she won't take you back either."

Over the years Paris grew to realize that she would always come second in his heart. It pained her to know she wasn't his only love. Paris was his girlfriend first, even when Goten and Bra broke up. He came groveling back to her, so why did he love her so much more? Even after having a daughter together, she could never get the full attention of his heart.

He tried to prove that he loved Paris instead of Bra, but always half-heartedly. Whenever it came to her birthday, their anniversary, holidays, and attempts at date nights, the kisses and love making, all of it never felt sincere. She continued to feel like she was at arms length with him.

The only time he put his heart into anything was when it came to their daughter. He would give Karume the world and the moon to keep her happy. He would never let anything upset her. Even avoid any kind of arguing with Paris in front of her. He wanted to show her what a gentleman looked like and what a loving relationship should look like. He feared that dreadful day when Karume would grow up and begin dating. He didn't want her to feel or be treated the way he was with Bra. Putting in more attention and affection toward Paris when she was around assured that Karume would know how she should be treated.

"I'm sorry." Goten turned his back to her and stared out at the window. He knew she was right. She could always see right through him. Seeing Bra tonight ignited everything buried deep inside of him. Everything he was trying to hold back, surfaced the second he saw her.

Paris moved closer to him and draped an arm and leg over him. She kissed his shoulder and pleaded, "I wish we could go back to how we used to be. I miss that."

He stared at the stars and wished the same thing, but with another woman.

"Goten..." There was a long drawn out pause before she continued with a trembling voice, "I'm sick of crying... I'm tired of trying... I can't keep doing this and hoping one day you'll be over her...I hate feeling like the other woman when I should be the only woman. I hate not having all of you." Tears began burning down the side of her face as she buried it into his shoulders. He moved his arm so it laid on top of hers and held her hand. He couldn't bare to look at her. He hated when she would get like this. He hated it when she struggled to keep it together for him when he felt so strongly about another woman. It was a reminder that he still was hurting someone dear to him.

But at the same time, she knew he always tried to give her what she wanted. He tried with every ounce of his soul to love her, so she never had the courage to break it off with him. No matter how much she complained, she continued to put up with it, keeping an optimistic mind.

"Do you know what it's like to know how you felt about her all this time? Do you know what it's like to see the way you look at her?" She started sobbing uncontrollably. She pressed her body closer to him, tightening the arm she had around him, trying to hold onto the person she loved most.

His heart raced and his jaw clenched. All he could do was squeeze her hand tighter in return. She didn't deserve this.

"I'm done Goten. I'm done this time." The words struck a painful chord inside of him. He turned around quickly and looked at her saddened face. Her eyes turned away as the tears continued down and her voice trembled, "The entire time at the wedding, it was pretty clear. I can't keep waiting for the old you to come back to me. Seeing you act that way toward her... Putting up that façade as you'd hold me and kiss me then look at her in a way you will never look at me… you're not fooling anyone."

The sound of powerful sobs echoed in the room. Goten pulled her in close and held her, not knowing what to say. Did she actually mean it this time?

"I'm so sorry that I hurt you… I don't deserve you and I don't know why I can't get over her, either… I'm trying Paris, but I can't ever get it right… I'm sorry." He said full of remorse.

She cried herself to sleep in his arms that night while he stayed up thinking. He didn't know what to do anymore.

The next day while Paris was at her shoot, Goten went searching for Bra after dropping off Karume at his parents. He was trying desperately to figure out where she was and if she was still in town. He wanted to see her one last time, though the guilt of doing so ran hot through his veins. His body felt like it was on autopilot.

He had no idea what he would say if he found her. He wouldn't be able to follow her to Japan without giving up his daughter. He wouldn't be able to convince her to stay. She had her own life in Tokyo. He just wanted to find her and see her desperately.

He couldn't get a hold of Trunks or Marron and Bra's parents weren't helping either. No one could tell him where she was or if she already left. He tried to call, but there was no answer. He felt like he was going to explode. She was going to leave without seeing him and hearing him out, just like she did five years ago.

Back at his home, the façade would continue for another few months. The arguments worsened. The love Goten and Paris had for one another was growing old and vanishing faster than ever. They were becoming distant strangers in their own home. Sleeping in separate rooms and arguing about the smallest, most insignificant things. Paris soon decided that moving out was the only relief. Goten was alone.

His bed was cold for the first time in years. The first couple of weeks he let his daughter sleep next to him, but he soon realized that he needed to heal and learn to sleep alone. Paris leaving was the best thing for them both, but explaining that to his daughter wasn't so easy. She didn't seem to understand what was going on.

A month and a half passed before Goten got an uplifting call. Trunks was reluctant at first but decided to tell Goten that Bra would be coming back in two weeks. He felt his heart burst into white-hot flames and for the first time in months, he smiled. He was so genuinely happy that he couldn't contain himself.

"She's not planning on staying longer than she has to, Goten." A pregnant Marron said one night during a dinner outing. "I know how you feel about her and that is why Paris left…but can you please keep your feelings to yourself? I don't want her to get confused and bring up all these feelings again. I don't want either of you to get hurt when she has to leave again."

Goten took a moment before saying anything.

"I don't want to hurt her again either."

"Then don't pursue anything... I'm serious Goten." Marron looked at him, worried for both of their sakes.

The next few nights he would go on thinking about her once again. His cold heart felt warmth rushing back in, illuminating his long dead passion for life. His heart knew what it wanted and it belonged to only her.