I AM SO SORRY.

I know I haven't updated in awhile, but its school, school, school.

Basically craziness.

I am updating now, and I'm going to try to as much as I can. Enjoy this new chapter :)

BOATING.

"I'm still very confused on why you're okay with being a third wheel." I asked Beckie as I pulled on my Uggs.

"Because I don't have a life. I'm a loser and I usually never make things awkward." she said. I gave her a questionable look. She always made everything awkward. "Okay, I'll try not to." I walked out into the living room and grabbed my keys

"Are you sure you want to come?" I asked her.

"Yes, it will give me a chance to get to know the man who is stealing my best friends heart." We walked down to the lobby and their stood Jake. I skipped/jogged over to him wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Hey." Jake said smiling when I pulled away. He was so handsome.

"Hi." I said looking into his beautiful brown eyes.

"Hi!" said Beckie from behind us. I moved to stand next to Jake and he took my hand in his.

"It's nice to see you again, Beckie." Jake said.

"Yeah, I know." Beckie said smiling. "So what are we all doing today?"

"Uh, we're going to go out on my boat." he said squeezing my hand. Beckie laughed.

"You know Nessie can't swim right. She doesn't even go in the pool at family parties." Beckie said. I don't think she was trying to be mean but just to prove a point.

"Beckie..." I said.

"Wait, why didn't you tell me this? You've known that we were going on the boat for a couple days now. How come you didn't say anything?" Jake asked me. Beckie realized her mistake and excused herself to go make a phone call leaving me and Jake alone.

"I didn't want to ruin it. I know you like boating and I didn't want to ruin it for you." Oh, gosh was it a mistake not telling him? "I'll be fine I promise."

"Are you sure. Because we don't have to go. We can do something else." Jake said. Was he really willing to change our plans.

"No, I'll be fine. If I feel uncomfortable I'll tell you. Promise." I lied. I wasn't going to tell him. This was his time to show me something he loved and I wasn't going to ruin it.

"Alright." he said and kissed my forehead. We found Beckie in the parking lot leaning against Jake's car. I walked around to where she was while Jake got in the front seat.

"I'm sorry." she said "I thought he knew. Did you not tell him?"

"No, I thought I could keep it on the down-low for awhile." I told her.

"Ness, you almost drowned and you didn't tell him." she asked me.

"No, all he knows is I don't know how to swim. That's all, there is no need to make a big deal about it." I told her and then got into the car. The ride wasn't long, but as soon as I saw the water my heart began to race and my breathing was heavy.

"Everything okay?" Beckie asked when we got out of the car.

"Y-yeah." I said. "I'm fine." I took a deep breath and walked over to the dock stopping where is connected from the cement to the wooden dock. Beckie walked on ahead, but I stayed where I was.

"Hey." Jake said coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. His arms felt safe and I was able to start relaxing. I turned in his arms and rested my head against his chest.

"Just give me a minute." I told him trying to control my heavy breathing. It was going to be fine, nothing bad was going to happen.

"Renesmee, you're shaking." Jake said looking at me. "We don't have to do this."

"No!" I said breaking away from him "I can do it." I carefully stepped onto the dock and slowly began walking. Once we got onto his boat was when I really started to break down. I sat alone hoping no one would find me as I tried to relax. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and my breathing was heavy.

"Nessie?" I heard Beckie as she sat down beside me. "Oh gosh, are you okay?" I shook my head. "Want me to tell Jacob to turn around?"

"No!" I said lifting my head.

"But Ness, you don't look good." Beckie said.

"I don't care. " I slowly stood up. "I can't ruin this for him."

"No, stay here." she said. "You're going to make yourself sick."

"I can get over it!" I yelled at her. Then I slowly sank back to the floor. I felt Beckie leave, and a few seconds later heavier ones approach.

"Renesmee?" Jake said as he knelt in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah." I said giving my best smile. I could tell he wasn't buying it and I shook my head. "I'm so sorry, Jake."

"It's fine but why don't you like the water?" he asked me. It was a stupid reason, why not just tell him. Maybe because I was embarrassed. I shrugged my shoulders. "You don't wanna tell me do you?"

"No." I whispered. He sat down in front of me, spread out his legs and pulled me close to him.

"Tell me, please." he said leaning his forehead against mine. Why was he so darn adorable.

"I almost drown when I was twelve." I told him. "There is this thing called cliff diving and I wanted to show off to these boys. I hit my head on a rock and blacked out, if it wasn't for Beckie I wouldn't be alive."

"I think that is pretty amazing." he said chuckling. Amazing? Was he crazy. "I mean your best friend saved your life."

"I mean, yeah I guess." I said.

"Listen, I'll turn the boat around and we'll do something else, okay?"

"No, I can do it. I don't want you to turn the boat around." I told him.

"Renesmee," he sighed "it's fine really. We'll go out to dinner."

"No," I said slowly standing up and bringing him with me. "when I'm with you I'm not scared." He looked into my eyes for a moment.

"You sure?" he asked me

"Just stay by me. Please." I told him. So that's what we did, we stood in the silence while he kept his arms around me as we watched the sun set.

"You did it." Jake said as we sat outside my apartment. We didn't stay out on the boat long, partly because he had work soon.

"I know, thanks for staying with me." I said as I squeezed his hand in mine.

"You're welcome." he said kissing my forehead. "I have to get to work though, but I'll text you later. Okay?"

"Alright," I said standing up with him. "promise to text me?"

"Promise." he said and kissed me. "Bye." I slowly walked away from Jake not wanting to break the embrace we were in. When I walked into my apartment Beckie was sitting on the couch eating a bag of Veggie Chips.

"Can you not eat all my chips." I said taking the bag from her and sitting on the couch.

"Whatever," she said and took the bag back. "shit's good. Hey, you went boating today, can you believe it?" I shook my head. Jake was everything I needed in my life and I didn't want to lose him, I couldn't.

I know it was kinda short, but trust me something big is coming :)

Stay tuned and please,

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-A