Hi everybody (Hi doctor nick). I realize that it's been a while since I've updated, but my life has been busy. I STILL haven't written that story that is due on yesterday, which is of course because I'm far too lazy, but I have family over so were doing crazy things. Today I got dragged down to Forks, because Shelly wants to see the damn town. It's a mother fuckin' six hour drive from where I live and the town doesn't even have anything special in it. That's why I hate Twilight. Not because it tears apart vampires into some new thing that is total bullshit, whatever. She's the author, she can do that if she wants and I won't complain. It's when I get dragged to the towns, movies, book signings, when I get forced to read the damn books, it's when THAT'S ALL MY GIRLFRIEND WILL FUCKING TALK ABOUT when I get mad. not to unload on you guys or anything, but yeah. Sorry.

Anyway, on a brighter note, I have the greatest speech ever made posted on my profile, so if you've been enjoying the Patton quotes then hobble down to my profile page and check it out. It's epic.

Economy of Force

May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't.
- General George S. Patton Jr

Plopping down on the bed with his wife, the Mustang parents were far too exhausted undress in preparation for sleep. Parenting was as exhausting a profession as any with perfect children. Instead, Riza had given birth to three scheming little boys. Ike, Doug, and George were each their own little demon. Doug was always vying for his parent's attention. He had the type of personality that made Roy and Riza expect him to be a celebrity when he grew up, a sort of charisma about him, despite him being seven. His twin, Ike, was quite the opposite. Ike was more content to stay in the shadows and have his two brother's soak up the attention. He was the schemer. He could organize mischief like there was no tomorrow, and usually managed to save himself from the consequence. George, being two years younger than the both of them, was the one who usually took the fall for the three. But, then again, he was also the one who always executed the plots that Ike cooked up. Roy himself had once called him, much to Riza's amusement, "Ike' attack dog." Between the three of them, they managed to soak up all of the two parent's energy, and usually earned fifteen minutes in isolated "time out" each in the process.

This night had been especially stressful. Roy had taken his wife to the silver screen, and had thus phoned up the sitter. What they had come to was anything but a pretty sight. Walking into the door, the sitter had almost yelped in relief at the sight. That was never a good sign. The relief soon turned into a nervous kind of shyness, which was even worse. This sitter was relatively new, their old regular having moved away, and not having managed keeping one who had the patience to deal the three terrors, this one had been somewhat of a relief.

"How were the kids, Lee?" Riza asked the kid, not even seventeen.

"Well at first they were good, but…"

"What'd they do?" Roy demanded with some humor. Lee rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Well, Doug 'accidentally' locked George in the closet, and after about ten minute of trying to find the key, I finally managed to get the door open, but…" Lee couldn't meet the eyes of the adults. "But nowIcan'tfindGeorge!" Roy almost laughed. This wasn't the first time they had pulled this trick, and he remembered how scared He and Riza had been when George had seemingly disappeared. Riza smiled kindly at the boy.

"How long ago was this?" Riza asked the boy kindly.

"…an hour ago."

"Where are the others?"

"I sent them to bed. They were making it really hard to search for George, and it was their bedtime anyway." At this Roy inwardly grimaced. If they had been sent to bed, then mostly likely bed was exactly where they weren't. They would have a lot of 'fun' hunting down their kids tonight. Riza smiled apologetically at Lee and shuffled through her purse to find money.

"You've done nothing wrong. They've pulled this stunt before, so you have nothing to worry about. I'm very sorry they put you through this." Handing they boy twice the amount he would have normally gotten, the boy's features relaxed a lot. Saying his goodbyes, Roy thanked him for his troubles and he left, excited from the tip.

Getting down to work, the first place they looked was the bedroom. As predicted all the beds were unoccupied. Sighing expectedly in disappointment, Roy and Riza started to methodically search through the house. Every once in a while they would here the scampering pitter-patter of little feet as they approached what was apparently one of the children's hiding spots. However, after an hour of searching, they had no prisoners in their possession and they were getting irritated. They needed a new plan of attack.

Using a two-pronged assault, they managed to get Doug into their sights, and they called out for him.

"Douglas Arthur Mustang. If you don't get your ass over here this second, I will have no other choice but to hand you over to your mother." That worked. All of their kids had learned to fear their mother's wrath infinitely more than their father's. While Riza would never pull a gun on her children like she did her dog, there certainly was a difference between a Mommy-spanking and a Daddy-spanking.

Sending their newly acquired prisoner of war to bed, they set out for the remaining two. They figured that it would be bet to divide and conquer, so they split up to seek out George and Ike. Sometime during the night, Ike wandered up to Roy and hugged him goodnight, proclaiming that he was too tired to keep the hiding up. All that was left was George.

It wasn't until one o' clock that morning until Roy heard Riza's shouts, meaning that she found the last man standing. Boy was he in trouble. Walking over to the part of the house they were in, the laundry room, Roy took in the scene. Judging from the situation of the room, Roy realized that George had been hiding in the dryer, of all places. It shouldn't have surprised him that George had managed to hide in the one place where he would never have found him, but Roy was too tired to care.

George had a combination of smugness and fear on his face as Riza chewed him out, and Roy couldn't help but feel sorry for the kid. Riza's anger was always enough to make him nearly shit himself. Riza gave him a spank and sent him off to bed, before walking to their own room, finally falling asleep at the ungodly hour.

I'm sorry for this, everyone. It's too late for me to revise it, so I know that it has mistakes that it really shouldn't so please point them out to me. I also apologize for the quality of it; this was half a rage fic, because the kids I babysit were being terrible, and half a childhood reminiscent fic. So please flame and tell me what you think of it.