Cross Over: Kingdom Hearts, Harry Potter, Twilight, House M.D.

DISCLAIMER: We of Eddie and Alex do not own the rights to any character from House M.D., Twilight, Kingdom Hearts, or Harry Potter. (Even if we wish we did) Eddie: We should add another…thing to this.

Alex: Like what? CSI: Hogwarts? The Kingdom Hearts Matrix? X-Men? (Oh, wait…)

Hogwarts, Hospital Wing

Gregory House had a feeling that once again, he'd been shot. Probably by the annoying blonde who had pulled him from the bar. Or maybe the red-head with the ponytail. It was the only explanation for his current situation; he'd been shot and he was in shock, just like before. He found himself in what appeared to be the hospital often shown when discussing Florence Nightingale. The rather loud woman, Pumpkin or something, was definitely not an improvement to Cuddy. House decided that if he ever found Carlisle Cullen, he was going to kill him.

"Dr. House," a smooth voice called Greg from the nurse's office where he'd been hiding. House looked up to see someone he'd thought dead for several years.

"Yes, I'm in a coma," House decided. "Which means you can't do anything to me."

"House, didn't my father explain anything to you?"

"He said the case was interesting. A bunch of kids with the sniffles isn't interesting," House grouched.

"It's not just the sniffles. They coughed up blood," Edward sighed, stepping into the office. He had hoped Carlisle would have had some sense and not brought Edward's old classmate into this. Yes, Edward regretted ever going to medical school when Greg House was present. "And something is wrong with their brains."

"Look, Cullen," House pointed his cane at Edward. "This place, it's stone-age when it comes to medical supplies. They don't even have a CAT scan. How do you know there's something wrong with their brains? Did their left eyelids all twitch the same?"

Edward sighed. "House, did Jasper say anything to you before he left?"

"No," House answered.

"Then, allow me to show you something," Edward stepped out of the office. "Madame Pomphrey, can you run a diagnostic spell on one of these students?"

"But it won't work," she replied. All the same, she readied her wand over one of the sneezing students.

"Humor me," Edward smiled at her. She blushed delicately and muttered the spell, which came within a few centimeters of the student's abdomen before ricocheting around the room. House stared. "That usually doesn't happen. Something is messing with their magic to make sure we can't treat them."

"I'm dreaming," House muttered, walking back into the office. "I drank myself into oblivion. It's the only solution."

"…" Edward stared after the retreating form of House. "Carlisle would have figured it out by now," he challenged. House stopped and turned to him, an incredulous look on his face.

"Are you saying I'm less of a doctor than Carlisle Cullen?" House accused.

"Yes."

"We'll see about that. Take blood samples, and I need a microscope," he turned to Madame Pomphrey. "Now would be preferable," he stated when she simply stared at him. She gave a slight squeak and ran to find a microscope.

Edward could hear the theories beginning in House's head. He smirked to himself, glad that once again, he'd managed to outwit House.

Hogwarts, Quidditch Field

"Do you think he'll go berserk like Saïx?" Riku asked as he watched Remus trying to understand Jacob's explanations of Quileute werewolves. Sora giggled and Kairi only turned to glare at her silver-haired friend. "No one can be that calm all the time," Riku muttered, glaring back at Kairi.

Down on the pitch, Remus was quickly loosing his grip on the reality he had known since he'd been bitten. "So, your ancestor went into a wolf's body to save his village from an imposter? And now, generations later, you can still turn into wolves?" Remus looked like he'd just been told the sun was made of melted butter.

"Exactly. And our bodies had to modify themselves to take the strain of going wolf," Jacob explained. "But what you described is more like a vampire's bite. Still, I think I can show you how to change at will."

"But, I don't like being a wolf," Remus sighed. "I'm uncontrollable as a wolf."

"Well, maybe if you learn to commune better with your wolf side, you can control it better. Ever thought of that?"

"I only change on the full moon. I was always so scared of hurting someone that I never thought about 'communing' with my wolf side," Remus snapped.

"That's why you need to learn to control your transformation," Jacob explained, missing the glare the older wolf gave him.

"Fine. I'll go along with Dumbledore's crazy dreams. Teach me to control my inner wolf!" He flung his hands in the air, shouting the last part. In the stands, Sora grudgingly handed Riku a small sack of munny.

"I wouldn't count that as berserk," Kairi said.

"It's the maddest I've seen anyone around here get," Riku replied. "It counts."

Back in the Room of Requirement

"What can you tell us about the Nobodies?" Hermione asked as the keybladers finally came back inside. Sora looked vaguely confused, Kairi seemed to be more interested in the constantly changing room, but Riku seemed prepared for the question.

"You said that the Nobodies came to this world before, right?" Riku inquired.

"Yes, Hogwarts, a History states that the founders fought beings similar to what you described," Hermione answered. "But that was ages ago, surely they can't be the same ones!"

"No, but the original seven were created by one of the survivors of that battle: Ansem the Wise. He took on seven apprentices, but I think only six survived. Their leader is a Nobody named Xemnas. He'll be the one calling the shots."

"And the others? What should we know about them?" Hermione asked.

"Each one has their own fighting style, and you can't really kill them with magic. You can delay them for a while, and only a keyblade can get rid of them for good. And since Xemnas started the orgniazation, he's taken on new members. At last count, our siblings included, there were fourteen of them."

"So, we just take care of the Heartless and leave the Nobodies to you guys?" Ron asked.

"No," Sora interjected. "If you can keep them distracted long enough, we can get rid of them, once and for all. There's just one small problem…"

"Zexion," all three keybladers sighed.

"Who?" Harry asked.

"Zexion senses when someone is after the organization. He has a keen sense of smell, better than even your vampire friends, I'd bet. If we go to them, they'll know to expect us. We need to get them to come to us."

"What can we expect if we have to fight them," Harry asked.

"Well, we've only fought a couple of them before," Sora admitted. "We had to knock out a few of them when we escaped. Each one used a different technique."

"Take Xemnas for example," Riku stated. "He won't fight immediately, he'll send the lesser members first, to test us. He might even send Heartless instead. But when we do fight him, he'll use a variety of energy weapons or the power of any hearts he's managed to obtain."

"Hearts?" Ron looked confused.

"He uses the Heartless to gather hearts for Kingdom Hearts," Sora explained. "He thinks that when he finishes Kingdom Hearts, they will all be whole again."

"But he can use the power?" Hermione asked.

"He can sap some of the power back, yes," Riku sighed. "But like I said, he hardly ever fights. He'll only fight us as a last resort. He'd rather run and build up his organization again."

"So, who should we expect to fight first?" Harry asked.

"Probably Larxene," Kairi answered. "She's...crazy." All three of the keybladers shuddered.

Outside Hogwarts

The smell of paprika drove Edward and Bella forward, their eyes trained for the black cloaked figures Sora had described. The scent kept appearing and disappearing all over the forest, and the vampires had split into groups. None of them had found a Nobody yet, but it wasn't from lack of trying.

Edward skidded to a stop, his eyes searching the area. "The scent ends here," he muttered. Bella came to a stop beside him, her eyes meeting his. "They just disappeared."

"How is that possible?" Bella asked.

"Well," Edward thought. "Didn't the headmaster use something called Apparation? Maybe it's like that."

"Yeah…maybe," Bella replied. She looked around the forest before following her husband back to Hogwarts. "Any word from Rosalie?"

"She hasn't found anything on her end of the forest," Edward answered. "But the scent keeps appearing all over the forest, like the Nobody is playing hide'n'seek."

"How's Harry holding up?"

"He seems a bit strained with all of this happening at once, but he's putting up a good show of courage," Edward remarked. "The only problem in training his mind is the link I feel to another person, a dark person."

Outside of Hogwarts, Forbidden Forest

Xigbar reclined against a tree, knowing the scouts sent to find him wouldn't catch him. A long gun hung from one hand, ready to fire in case one of the vampires showed up. His one yellow eye was trained on the castle, waiting for any of the keybladers to show up. He honestly hated being the Organization's scout, but it was better than listening to Larxene go on about Voldemort's right hand woman, Bellatrix LeStrange. Apparently, the two had become quick friends. Xigbar shuddered to think about what kinds of torture the two women thought up.

"Braig, is that you, my friend?" a soft voice asked from behind him. Xigbar twisted around to face a black robed woman. The deep hood hid her face, but he could tell immediately who the figure was. "Braig? Whatever happened to your face?"

"You're dead," XIgbar said evenly.

"No, Braig, I'm not," the smirk evident in her voice.

"Stop calling me Braig. It's Xigbar now," he snapped.

"Then, 'Xigbar', you can deliver a message to your master for me. Tell him I have returned. Tell him to find me if he wants the answers he seeks."

"As if. Xemnas won't believe you're alive," Xigbar answered.

"Oh, I doubt that," purple eyes glinted from under the hood. "I doubt that very much."