Dark Roller-Coaster Chapter 4: What did you expect?, a hawaii five-0 fanfic

Dark Roller-Coaster

Landon Richardson and TealRose

Official Disclaimer

The characters of Lieutenant Commander Steven 'Steve' McGarrett, Detective Chin Ho Kelly, Officer Kono Kalakaua, Agent Jenna Kaye, Adam 'Toast' Charles, Malia Waincroft and Lieutenant Freddie Hart do not belong to me in any shape or form. I am merely using them for my own entertainment purposes.

The character of Detective Sergeant Danielle 'Danni' Williams probably can be considered to be mine by now. Although she was originally based on male Danny, she soon evolved becoming her own person. She has her own background, her own family, her own history and her own distinct personality. This isn't to say that the Danny Williams we all know and love is completely gone, he still emerges through her at times. I like to think of female Danni as what Danny could have been if everything in his life had gone his way. As in full custody of Grace and a decent relationship with his ex.

The character of Grace has also changed slightly due to the change in Danni. Her surname is Taylor as this is her father's surname and was Danni's married name (Danni reverted back to her maiden name when she was divorced). Her parents also are amicable which has also impacted Grace but never fear, she's still the sweetheart we know and love, and if anything she's more a sweetheart now.

The character of Special Agent Jack O'Connor, Major David Williams, Lieutenant Commander Riley King, Nyla Leon, Duncan Taylor, also belongs to me as does any other character who you do not recognise from the show. Please do not use them, or my version of Danni and Grace without first asking for my permission to do so.

Thank you.

Author Note

Here's the next chapter for you all.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story

Please enjoy

Official Summary

One night is all it took to put Steve McGarrett newly achieved happiness at risk. Now he has to decide what's best. What he wants and needs or the needs of his team. Either way, someone is going to lose. (Steve x female Danni)

Chapter Summary

Steve twisted his head, glancing towards Danni besides him. She had been silent since she had exited through the doors she had gone through back at the hospital, her eyes dark and her facial expression unreadable placing him on edge. Even the smile which she had shot him when her eyes had landed on him had a rare brittle quality to it which he wasn't used to seeing.

Overall Romances

Hints of Steve McGarrett / Danni Williams (McDanni)

Mentions of past Duncan Taylor / Danni Williams (Dunni)

Mentions of past Chin Ho Kelly / Malia Waincroft (Chalia)

Nyla Leon / Hunter Leon (Hunla)

Chapter Romances

Hints of Steve McGarrett / Danni Williams (McDanni)

Mentions of past Chin Ho Kelly / Malia Waincroft (Chalia)

Warning

This story features a female Danni Williams in place of a male Danny Williams. Although in some stories I write, Danny does exist, he does not exist in this one.

If this isn't your cup of tea than please turn back now.

Other note

I do not have a Beta so please forgive any mistakes which may creep in, I always do my best to edit the story and check it but sometimes mistakes do creep in.

The places I've mentioned in Hawaii are ones which come from google, including the addresses. I've never been to Hawaii myself in person so I apologise for any mistakes which I may make, these are not intentional.

Chapter Four

What did you expect?

He had expected her to demand the keys to the car from him but instead she had immediately walked over to the passenger side, waiting until he unlocked the doors before she had pulled it open and climbed in, shutting it behind her.

He wanted to ask her how it had gone with the Doctors but somehow he knew that she didn't want to talk about it with him. Sighing silently, he turned and looked back out of the window, half of him wishing they were at work, the other half of him dreading it especially as he knew that Danni's twin brother would be in the office and he doubted that the younger man would be quite as laid back about what happened as he was about most things.

Steve pulled the car into the Five-O car park, reversing into Danni's spot and killed the engine, glancing towards Danni as she leaned down and picked up her bag from her feet before she pushed the door open and stepped out. Steve following her looking over the roof of the car at her, a trickle of relief coursing through him when she finally spoke.

"It looks like the others are all here" She commented glancing towards him before she headed towards the entrance, Steve falling into place at her side.

"It's not a surprise giving what the time is" He responded with a shrug, holding the door open for her and following her into the air condition foyer, his eyes moving around them out of habit, taking everything in with a single glance.

"That's true I guess" She responded as she flashed her badge at the guards, allowing them to glance in her bag quickly before she and Steve stepped through the barrier bypassing the majority of checks that everyone else was having to go through.

"We've got that meeting with the SWAT team later on this afternoon, just after lunch" Steve told her, breaking the silence which had fallen between them again as they waited for one of the elevators to arrive on the ground floor. The comment brought a slight frown to her face as she tilted her head to the left so she could look at him directly.

"Do we all have to go to that training?" she asked him, the comment causing him to smile though he quickly hid it. It was no surprise to him that she would have asked him that, it was no secret that she hated any kind of activity like this.

"You're safe Danni, I need you to stay behind and take care of things in the office. It's me, Kono, Riley and David who are going this time round unless something comes up work wise though" He said before a smug tone came to his voice as he continued. "It will do Kono some good working with them. Russell has already mentioned quite a few times how he wants Kono on their team"

"Well he'll be waiting for a while. Kono is happy where she is with no plans on leaving us any time soon" Danni responded with a shrug, stepping into the elevator when the door slid open.

"That's always good to know" Steve said, hesitating for a second before he continued. "I know you're leaving at two thirty to get Gracie from school, should I… should I come round afterwards still?" He asked her.

Danni remained silent for a moment before she gave him a single nod.

"Yeah, we need to talk so we can do that later on at mine. I'll be heading to the supermarket after I pick up Grace because it's…"

"Mexican night" Steve finished for her, sharing a quick smile with her.

"Mexican night" She repeated as she moved out of the elevator and down the corridor. Steve came to her side resisting the urge to reach out and place his hand on her lower back like he often did. He had noted that each time he had touched her since last night she had tensed up as though she was nervous about having his hands on her, a reaction which he couldn't exactly blame her for.

They came to a stop in front of the door, Danni's hand coming up and adjusting the scarf as they shared a quick look before entering the room. The other members of the team were standing round the computer table, sipping their drinks as they talked, clearly relaxing as they waited for Steve and Danni to arrive.

"Hey guys" Steve called out, raising his hand up towards them in an attempt at a wave, his eyes flickering towards his office wondering whether he could disappear within.

"Morning guys, sorry we're slightly late" Danni added, her voice coming across as calm and normal, the tone attracting Steve's attention for a second as he wondered not for the first time how Danni had learnt to hide her emotions, especially negative emotions, so well.

"That's no problem Danni" Chin responded with a soft smile. "Steve rang up and said that something had come up that the two of you needed to tend to first. Get everything you need sorted?" He queried, his eyes flickering to Steve with a raised eyebrow.

"For the moment" Steve responded. "I'm guessing since everyone is standing around the computer table relaxing that we either have a new case or that all of your in-trays are now empty of files leaving you with nothing to do?" He asked, looking around their face, picking up on the sudden guilt looks which crossed over Kono Kalakaua's and Adam Charles's face. A sight which almost made him smile. Kono and Toast as Adam was better known as were the youngest on the team and it often showed though he could admit that both were a great deal more mature and experienced since they had first joined the team.

"Slave driver" He heard Kono mutter though he chose to let it go.

"There's always files to go through" Danni said with a shake of her head, her gaze shifting to her own office, no doubt thinking about what lay within for her to start on.

"Amen to that sister, I like your scarf by the way, very 50's era" Kono remarked before she twisted round on the spot as though she was about to head to her room.

Steve breathed a sigh of relief, some of the tension easing out of him when it suddenly slammed back into it at the sound of a familiar, though rarely heard voice.

"Danni, take off the scarf for me please"

Steve swallowed turning to look at David Williams, Danni's older twin brother who was staring at his sister with a look which placed Steve instantly on full alert. He glanced towards his partner, silently cursing when he realised that Danni's scarf has shifted ever so slightly, revealing the slightest hint of a bruise. It would have been enough for anyone else to overlook it thinking it was nothing more than a smudge but he should have known that Danni's twin would have realised instantly that something was wrong, especially when that same twin was a trained medic who had served with the Rangers.

The comment had been enough to alert the others who all turned back to look at Danni, their expressions making it clear that they now saw the same thing which David had seen.

"Why? Do you object to my fashion sense?" Danni asked mildly as she took a step back.

"No" David replied, his voice equally as calm as his sister's. "I object to what the scarf is hiding Danielle."

"Hiding?" Toast spoke up at this point, looking up from his computer screen and peering closely at her neck before his dark eyes widened. "Jesus Blondie, is there a case which we're running at the moment which none of us know about? Who hurt you Danni?" He demanded, his tone a mixture of anger and concern.

Steve remained silent, his hand curled into a fist at his side as Danni looked around her, her hand coming up automatically to cover her throat. He could almost see her mind racing as she tried to figure out a way of answering Toast's questions.

"Steve" Jack O'Connor said evenly "Did something happen last night or this morning?" He asked.

Steve swallowed again as he shrugged his shoulder, deciding to go the honest route. There was no point trying to lie to them, not only because they would see right through it but also because of the effect it would have on the team and the trust they had in each other. He breathed in deeply, eyes closing for a moment before he opened them and spoke.

"I had a flashback last night of something which had happened in my past and Danni… well Danni was too close to me in the aftermath" He admitted, his back stiffening when he heard the sharp intake of breathe which Kono made.

"I know what you're all thinking but this wasn't Steve's fault" Danni told them as she adjusted her scarf again, glancing round them all before she met Steve's eyes. "It's just… it's just one of those unfortunate things. If anything it's my fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I should have recognised the signs."

"Danni, how could you…" Chin began to say before his words trailed off.

Toast stared at them, his eyes moving between them rapidly as the slots of the puzzle seemed to sink into his head. He sucked in a breathe taking a step forward so he was in Steve's face, glaring down at the smaller man, his frame visibly shaking from the rage which was cleat in his dark eyes and expression. It was a look which Steve had never seen from the younger man.

"What do you mean that this wasn't his fault?" He demanded. "Was he not the one who attacked you and tried to kill you because that's not what the bruises you're trying to hide are saying? Is that why you were late this morning? Because I'm really trying to understand why you are blaming yourself for something which he did"

"Toast" Danni said sharply, a warning tone coming to her tone.

"No Danni" Toast said as he turned to her. "You know what you mean to me, you're like a big sister. I can't sit back and say nothing if you're being hurt regardless of the reasons behind it." He stated, the comment causing Steve's heart to ache as Danni's face softened at his words.

He watched as the others shared a speaking glance except for David who was staring out of the window with an unreadable look on his face before Chin spoke as he stepped forward and placed a calming hand on Toast's shoulder though whether it was to comfort Toast or to hold him back if he suddenly went for Steve he didn't know.

"You'll soon find out Toast that there is a downside to what we do. We do the right thing by putting the bad guy's away where they belong but there's a cost to taking someone's life even in the name of duty. It's a cost which I hope to god you never have to experience for yourself Toast because it will forever change you if you do."

"A cost?" Toast asked, tilting his head to the side so he could see Chin clearly.

"We experience dreams" The older man answered simply. "Sometimes the dreams are mild but other times they can be really bad, placing you back in situations which made you messed up the first time and resulting in confusion when you wake up because you don't know what reality is and what isn't. That can cause you to react in ways that you never react like if you were in your proper state of mind."

"Do you all suffer from them?" Toast asked, looking around them, his expression dropping when they all nodded at him.

"I remember one time there was a kid who was killed in a robbery, he couldn't' have been more than fourteen, hit by a stray bullet that the robber let off. There was nothing that I could have done, no way I could have saved him since he had bled out before anyone could get to him but I still blamed myself for his death, torturing myself over it for failing him when he needed help the most. One night I fell asleep at my parents and woke up swinging at my dad who had come to wake me up for dinner, gave him a black eyes and everything. It can hit you when you least expect it with no warning. The darker the past, the worse the dreams are" Chin explained, turning to look at Steve who nodded at him before his eyes moved back to David, watching the blonde man closely, unnerved slightly by his silence.

"Toast" Danni said softly, moving towards him and placing her hand on his arm, resting it there as though she was trying to comfort him. "I appreciate your concern for me and it means a lot but you don't have to worry. Steve is not abusing me in any shape or form and he never has. It's just like Chin says, something there can be a case or a situation which can trigger forgotten memories and that is what happened last night."

"So it could easily happen again?" Toast asked, the comment causing Danni to fall silently, an almost hunted expression coming to her face which made Steve take a quick step towards her, stopping when David's grey eyes swung round to focus on him with a look of warning.

"Tell me Toast, have you ever had something so bad happen to you that you dreamed about" Jack asked suddenly, breaking his silence. "The kind of dream that when you wake up from it you're shaking and sweating, trapped in that strange world where you're not quite sure if you're awake or you're asleep but you know that if someone else was around then something could happen to them, something which you would be responsible for because you could end up hurting them without meaning to? That, like Chin said is what the down side of the law enforcement profession is. It doesn't matter if you're a Detective or an officer or an agent or in the military, it's all the same. The dreams can become warped and affects you, it doesn't matter how mentally strong you are, one day it will get to you and when it does you then have to have a hard think, like whether it is an one off"

"That's why they have psychiatrists like Teddy and his team whose sole purpose is to help Officers and Detective on the force deal with everything we see and have to do. They also tend to lend a hand when it comes to giving a profile as well. They are available for talking twenty four seven though I think we may have made Danni and Jack into our unofficial psychiatrists" Chin remarked, his mouth curling into a slight smile before he became serious again.

"And what happened if you don't talk to someone?" Toast asked quietly, dropping his eyes from them all.

"Then it becomes a serious problem developing into PTSD or worse." David remarked quietly.

"Which is what McGarrett has?" Toast asked, looking towards Steve who gave him a single nod. "Well… in that case you can't stay with Danni and Gracie then right? I mean you've hurt Danni once so it stand to reason that if your PTSD has flared up then it could happen again right?" He asked.

"Possibly" Steve admitted, barely able to get the word out from his throat. "I have an appointment this afternoon at one to see my shrink so… we'll have to see what he says"

"There shouldn't be a possibly about it boss" Kono said with a frown, a hard note to her voice "You can't stay in a house with a child whether you want to or not."

"I think that decision is up to Danni to make Kono" Chin said, a warning tone to his voice which attracted Kono's attention.

"Will it happen to me as well?" Toast asked into the uneasy silence.

"You should be okay Toast" Danni told him as she squeezed down on his arm. "You don't head out into the field with us and you're not qualified to use a gun. You may get nightmares because of what you delve into here and you see but the chances that you will have to take a life are very small. However if you do feel that things are getting on top of you then you can speak to any of us about it, we can help you, just make sure that you don't bottle it in. We've all been through it before so if there is anyone who would understand what you're going through then it would be us" She said, taking a step away from him.

Steve breathed out, turning and heading away from the group towards his office, stepping into the room before he closed the door behind him, trying to breathe through the feeling of panic and sickness which came over him. Hating the fact that he knew they were right. He was a threat to Danni and Grace.

He heard a knock on his door but ignored it, burying his face into his hands as he hunched over his desk.

"Sounds like you had a rough night last night" Chin's voice said quietly, causing Steve to drop his hands and to look up in time to see the older man close the door and moved over to the desk. He dropped into the chair opposite Steve and remained quietly, clearly waiting for Steve to say something.

"Something like that" He said finally. "I always knew deep down that there was a chance that this may flare up again but it hasn't since…" His voice trailed off for a moment before he forced himself to continue. "It hasn't since I moved in with Danni while my own place is getting sorted. I haven't slept so well in ages and to know that it was Danni who I attacked. You know I almost killed her, I was going to kill her until she managed to get through to me. A second more and…" He stopped with a shuddered, unable to finish the sentence. "I don't blame the others for hating me, I deserve it for what I did. Danni should hate me and I'm sure David is just biding his time now before he does something" He said rubbing at his eyes.

"When I was being investigated by IA things were tough for me." Chin said in an expressionless voice as he shifted on the seat. "I was given the hardest assignments and left alone to deal with them as though the others were trying to test my resolve and to see whether they could still trust me. I accepted all the cases because I had no choice even though I knew the impact it would have on me. I woke up one day about a month into this new form of hazing to find myself on the floor with Malia beneath me and my gun against her head with my finger on the trigger. It was a fact that I wasn't going to bring up in front of the others" He said, looking away from Steve for a moment, clearly caught up in memories which only he could see.

"Chin I…" Steve began to say before Chin cut across him.

"David isn't biding his time before he does something. He may wish to talk to you or he may not, who knows what goes on in his head but that is one issue that you won't have to worry about. You got to remember as well with Danni that she understand better than most what we go through because she goes through it as well. There isn't a person here who truly believes that you would harm a hair on her head. As for what Toast said, well he hasn't experienced what we have experienced so he doesn't understand what it is like, on top of that he's always been soft on Danni, she's like a big sister to him or his Guardian Angel" He said with a shrug.

"She's everyone's Guardian Angel" Steve said rubbing at his forehead before he looked up. "I didn't know that had happened with Malia, I'm sorry man, that's a hard burden which you have had to live with."

"It is and you'll no doubt find this incident with Danni is something which you'll now have to live with. It's always harder to accept when the person who suffers is the person who you love more than anyone. You can't stay there anymore, you understand that right?" Chin asked sympathetically.

"I know" Steve said with a nod. "I've got an appointment at one with Doctor Goodman, on my way back to the office I'll stop by Danni's house and pack up my things and move out to a hotel where I can't harm anyone. You know Danni, it would tear her apart to ask me to go, this way I've taken the decision out of her hands."

"Just make sure you tell her why, you know how much she cares for you." Chin pointed out.

"I know, though God knows why she does" Steve commented.

"We should inform the SWAT team what happened as well, or rather just Russell. He needs to know what happened because of the training session later on. We don't know what might trigger you at the moment and the last thing we want…"

"Is another incident where I flip out and hurt someone else. I understand" Steve said steadily. "I'll give him a call shortly and let him know"

"Don't sweat it brah, I've got you covered in this. Me and Dominic Russell go way back together. He was one of the only people who never believed the IA witch hunt against me. You've got enough to be getting your head around at the moment without having to add a conversation like that into the mix" Chin remarked as he came to his feet.

"Thanks Chin, I owe you one" Steve said, sharing a smile with the older man and watched him leave the room, leaving Steve with nothing more than his thoughts.

Author Note

Thanks for taking the time to read. An especially big thank you if you have left me a review, favourite the story or decided to follow it.

I really appreciate it