Self Analysis
By
Mrsrossino4
Well kids here's the next selection in our little journey through the psyches of our famed team members. I appreciate all of the positive feedback on this story. I have been trying to incorporate the suggestions you have been providing into each chapter. Following is Emily's tale. Grab your drink, sit back and enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, but oh what fun it is to play around!
I can hardly believe I am back with the team. It only seems like yesterday I was being whisked away to safety in Paris, having to make them think I was dead. Little did I know what the effects of that plan would have on my co-workers.
No, they are my family.
Or so I thought.
I can understand them being upset or even shocked, but I never expected the reception I got from Reid and Morgan. They act as though this was a plot to deliberately deceive them, and keep going on about how much pain they've been in for seven months thinking I was dead.
How the hell do they think I felt?
Do they really think it was such a picnic for me? I had to spend most of my time sheltered away, fearing someone would recognize me and this little charade would be finished. I had to let my own mother think I was dead. My two best friends had to lie for me day after day, putting their careers on the line just to keep me safe until Ian Doyle could be brought to justice.
Yet the only thing Spencer Reid can think about is how I compromised his sobriety.
I thought he was a better friend. Yes, it was hard for him to accept y alleged death. And yes, I'm sure I can't imagine the pain he went through, but there is more to the situation than just the woes of Dr. Spencer Reid. I wish he would come to realize that.
Then of course there's my other so-called friend, Derek Morgan. He was initially upset, but he claims to be over it. Okay, so if you're over it, why are you insisting on making me recertify in basic procedures? Is this a lame excuse for you to manhandle me, or is this your lack of faith in my abilities showing? You did it to Jason Gideon after Boston, you did it to Hotch after Foyet, and now you're doing it to me. It's total bullshit if you ask me.
I love my friends JJ and Garcia, but even my favorite tech was cold in the beginning. I guess I really can't blame her, though, because if there was anyone who could have been let in on my existence, it would have been her. I know Hotch had concerns about her sharing that information with the rest of the team, but look at how much she helped Morgan while I was gone. All I can say is I kept my sanity during these long months because of my cheeto eating friend. I can't even begin to thank Jayje for putting herself on the line for me. It was the act of a true friend.
This also has been hard for Hotch. He preaches trust and cooperation to his team, yet he had to hide my existence from them. It is a direct conflict of what he tells us all the time. I think that is probably why Reid and Morgan are so angry with him. They tend to see things in a black and white fashion. Being the daughter of an ambassador, I understand how the grey world works.
Then of course I have my friend and mentor, David Rossi. I was relieved when he said that he suspected this all along. He has been a rock during this time of transition, and I am grateful. Dave has kept me sane during this time. He is the voice of reason in this group.
Being back here is surreal to me. I hope this feeling goes away soon. I also hope these other feelings with the team go away soon. I miss my united family.