"Matthew, can I talk to you?" Carlisle asked waiting outside my room. I was in my room reading. I hadn't come out of my room in two days so he was probably going to lecture about my attitude.

"Sure," I said. He came into my room looking very smug. What's up with him?

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Alright I guess," I answered wearily.

"Do you think you would be ok around humans?" That question made me stand up.

"Wait; are you here to tell me that you think I'm ready to be around humans?" I asked.

"Only if you're ready," he said with a smile.

"But what if I mess up?" I asked him. I wanted to go back to society but I was a little scared.

"We all have faith in you Matthew. I also think that this might be the perfect time. You're not that thirsty anymore but if you wait any longer the blood will be more appealing."

"Ok so I go back and do what?" I asked. What's the point of going back when there's nothing to go back to?

"Step by step. At first maybe you can walk around, get to know the area. Of course one of us will go with you. Whoever you want," he explained. I knew he said the last part a little sad knowing that I would never ask him for anything like that but I didn't care. "And then after a while if you want, you can go to school or get a job. You're 19 so you're old enough for many things."

"When?"

"Whenever you're ready." I nodded. I was so nervous now. I had gotten used to not being around people and after a while I stopped thinking about it but now that the moment to go back was here I didn't know what to think.

"Thank you Carlisle," I said bitterly. There wasn't much to thank him for but when there was I tried to recognize it.

"You're welcome," he said with a smile and turned to leave.

"Wait!" I said. He turned to look at me. "What about my family?" he frowned at that.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to see them," he said. "It's too suspicious that you disappeared for years and then came back the sa-"

"Yeah yeah yeah. If I came back the same and all that. I remember what you told me," I said going back to my bed.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Yeah," I said picking up my book. Should I go tomorrow? If I go who do I go with?

I wanted to talk to Edward about it. He had gone back to society way before me and he could go out. That's how I got my books and music so I owed him a lot but I needed advice from him right now.

"You should do it," he said as soon as I stepped into the room. I stopped and stared at him. What? Oh right reading my mind again. He rolled his eyes.

"Right because you're really interesting," he said not taking his eyes of a giant book. I liked reading but I could never finish a book like that even if I wanted to.

"So I'm not interesting?"

"Only to Tanya," he said with an evil smile.

"So you think I should go for it?" I asked him.

"Yeah, why not?"

"I guess I should give it a try," I said looking around his room. "So when are you leaving?"

"Tonight," he said quietly.

"Have you talked to Esme and Carlisle?"

"Yeah, they don't understand."

"I wish I could get out of here."

"Then why don't you?"

"I don't want to kill humans and if I'm on my own I just might do that."

"I'm tired of living this way," he said standing up and putting the book away. "I have to do some other things so I might not see you anymore so goodbye." He said putting out his hand.

"Bye," I said shaking it. "You'll come visit right?"

"I doubt it," he said with a sad smile.

"Well, good luck," I said leaving.

When Edward left Esme and Carlisle were really sad. It was too much for me to handle. I was supposed to hate them not feel sorry for them. I was supposed to be thinking about my problems not theirs. Who could go with me tomorrow? Not Carlisle, obviously, not Esme since she'll be moping around because of Edward, so either Tanya or Irina. If I go with Irina, we'll fight and if I go with Tanya she'll be all over me.

I went to the room where Irina was staying and hoped she was in a good mood.

"Hey can I ask for a favor?" I asked.

"Sure, as long as you don't need it for the next four days," she said.

"Why?"

"I'm going hunting," She explained.

"Oh," I said.

"What did you need?"

"Carlisle said I can go out now."

"That's great!" she exclaimed giving me a hug.

"I guess."

"I'm sorry I can't go without hunting but why don't you ask Tanya?" I rolled my eyes and Irina laughed. "You two haven't talked in two days. Since your kiss two days ago both of you have been acting strange. I know she likes you but do you like her?"

"No," I answered a little bit quicker than needed so Irina didn't believe me.

"You liked the kiss didn't you?"

"Yes I liked the kiss but I'm not interested in anything else happening," I told her.

"Either way she's your only option now. So better ask her soon."

"I know," I sighed, "she's going to think we are going out on a date or something."

"I wish I could stay to see that."

"I'm going to go ask her now and no you can't watch," I told her leaving.

I hate this so much. Why couldn't Irina go with me? I looked for Tanya and found her talking to Esme. Just the sight of her made me feel annoyed. There was just something repelling about her. She was wearing what she always wore; clothes that left little to the imagination. Today she was wearing really short shorts, really high heels, and a loose small shirt in which you could see half her torso. She was very attractive and she was close to the definition of perfection but not exactly.

"Hey Matt," Tanya greeted me with a flirty smile.

"Hey can I talk to you?" I asked.

"I'll leave you two alone," Esme said leaving.

"What's up?" she said.

"I was wondering if you could go with me tomorrow," I started.

"Go where?" she asked.

"Apparently I can go out now," I told her.

"Oh! Of course I'll go with you!"

"Thanks," I said nervously.

"Don't be nervous. It'll be fine but we should go tonight because there are less people and it's a way to get you started."

"I hadn't thought of that," I said quietly.

"You haven't thought about our kiss either?" she asked.

"I have but I don't know what we should do about it," I told her. She stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Like I said, it doesn't have to be anything serious. We can have a little fun there's nothing wrong with that," she said running her hand through my hair. "Don't you find me attractive at all?"

"I do bu-"

"But what?" she asked a little exasperated.

"I don't know," I answered. Yes she's attractive but I wasn't interested in just sex and I had too many problems to be worrying about a 'relationship'.

"Fine," she said and kissed me.

"Hi guys!" she said with a serious face.

"Great timing," Tanya said rolling her eyes.

"Well goodbye," Irina said running into the forest.

"I'm going to go back to my room but I really appreciate you coming with me tonight," I told Tanya. She smiled and said, "You're welcome and tell me when you want to go."

"Alright."

"Don't be nervous," Tanya said trying to calm me down but it was not working. We were close to humans and I could smell them but I had self-control. "Do you want to get closer?"

"Yes," I answered. We walked closer to where there were a couple of small stores. My throat burned a little but it was manageable. We passed some girls who were sitting on a bench and they couldn't stop staring at me.

"Why do they keep staring at me?" I asked Tanya. She gave me confused look.

"Have you seen yourself? When we become this everything about us is perfected, enhanced or whatever you want to call it."

We walked for about two hours. It was great since I didn't have a very hard time being around people. It was annoying to have to stand girl staring at me as I walked by. Guys also checked out Tanya but it didn't seem to bother her, she looked proud of it. The entire time we were holding hands to pretend we were a couple. I didn't mind it much though. I think if we hadn't done that many guys would've already tried to get her to go home with them.

It's a long story, hope you're liking it. I will post more chapters as i go. i own no characters. Leave comments, reviews, or whatever they're called. :)