Chapter Four: Anguish
The shadows were everywhere, flying around the small cottage almost like a cyclone around Haru's parents and herself. She could hear her mother scream from her place in bed, sweat still on her brow from giving birth to the beautiful little girl gently being loaded into the basket by two shadows.
"NO!" her father yelled in desperation, harshly grabbing Haru by one arm, and throwing her into the shadows, which clawed and pecked at her angrily. "Take this one, but leave my baby alone!"
"No!" her mother screamed at him from her place in bed, grabbing a wooden bowl from the terrified midwife and tossing it at her husband's head for what he was trying to do. "She's our daughter too! Please, don't take this one from us," she sobbed as the shadows stopped attacking a sobbing Haru long enough for one of the shadows to pick her up by the shoulders, the razor-sharp talons biting deep into her flesh. The shadow then threw her back at her father, who collided against the wall before letting the dark-haired toddler fall to the ground at his feet. Without further ado, the shadows flew out the door with the crying basket in their claws.
The tiny brunette knew that no matter how long she lived, she would never forget her little sister's cry. She looked up to stare at her father with tearing eyes, but he had already forgotten about her. Instead of seeing to her, he grabbed his sword in order to give chase to the shadows, his eyes livid with rage.
Her mother was crying again, but this time it was with a broken heart. "We'll never see her again," she sobbed, her arms outstretched to the rejected daughter, whose leg was now lying at a funny angle from her father's refusal to catch her.
Haru was crying as well, but she knew it wasn't just from her physical pain. A terrible echo began to fill the room with her father's voice, repeating the same dreadful words, over and over.
"Why couldn't they have taken you?"
Haru gasped as she suddenly sat up from her blankets, drenched in a cold sweat. She pressed one hand against her heart, which was beating wildly out of control. Her breath came in short pants as her brown eyes looked around her room. It was hardly recognizable, thanks to the fact that she had sold off just about everything she had owned. All that was left of her former life was a small duffel bag worth of clothes, and a medium-sized cardboard box of photo albums and smaller family treasures. Another box contained a collection of knick knacks from her younger years as a ballerina, mostly programs and pictures of her in fancy outfits. Her mother would happily pose with her, but her father…
Haru hurriedly shook her head, since she really was happier when she forgot that he ever existed. After all, that was the way he had always treated her.
The Cat Bureau was still asleep in their various positions on the other side of the room, but Haru knew that she would not be able to return to slumber. Sighing, she set aside her blankets, and fished around her duffel bag for her practicing outfit.
She had made it herself; using the small talent she had gained while working on the quilt she had just been wrapped up in. It was the only way she could think of to keep her shoulder scars covered while practicing ballet. The body suit was a soft ice blue that matched her pointe shoes, and had a graceful skirt that flowed over her hips like water. But the top front of the short dress was open to reveal a white peasant shirt underneath, the dress held over it with a thin black ribbon in the style of a corset. She smiled, and grabbed a pair of light grey tights to complete the look before quietly leaving the room for a shower, and to dress in the bathroom, carrying a thick black sweater and matching pants for when she and her two guests needed to walk to the gym.
Haru stayed in the shower a little too long, but she had taken to doing that, ever since the nightmare started haunting her nights. She let the hot water run over her a full five minutes after she was done rinsing her hair clean, willing the scalding liquid to take away the ice that was beginning to form over her heart.
"It's just not fair," she whispered a little later, toweling herself dry before brushing her short hair and dressing for her try at the scholarship. Unbidden by anything, her brown eyes glanced up to the small mirror over the sink.
What had caught her eye was the small bit of gold that was strapped around her neck, flashing slightly in the weak light. She smiled warmly, and put one hand over the charm.
It was a small golden fish, hanging from around her throat on a fine chain. It was the same one that she had worn in the ballroom when Baron had asked her to dance, but she had taken it off when they had fled the castle. Lune had somehow gotten a hold on it later, and had modified it a bit before presenting it to her a week after her little adventure to his kingdom.
Within the fish was a promise of aid, should she ever need it, and also a means of communication, if she ever wished to speak with the young Cat King and his queen. Outside of the weekly tea party at the Refuge, in any case. The fish pendant had felt huge and gaudy when wearing it as a cat, but as a human, it was now fine and delicate, something she would actually wear outside of a royal feline function.
In fact, she hadn't taken it off since Lune gave it to her almost a year ago, since the small charm reminded her that although she may not be as perfect as her father had demanded her to be, she was still someone important in their eyes. It gave her courage, and she needed a big dose of courage, now more than ever.
Even if she thought silver suited her better.
"Duty," Haru whispered, remembering her father's words, and her mother's before they had died, and left her alone. "If not out of love, then out of duty." She sighed and looked away from the mirror, hurriedly pulling her thick black sweater over her ballet outfit before the matching jeans, then slipping into a pair of blue slippers before heading down the stairs. Her nose was immediately assaulted by the smell of melting butter, and she could clearly hear the sizzling of what could only be sausages.
In a dream-like state, she floated past the living room to the small kitchen, where Paulo and Paulamoni were already up, and busy making a big breakfast.
"That smells amazing," she sighed happily, sneaking a peak at what was in the skillet, one of the few utensils she had been able to keep.
The tall dark-haired woman laughed at her, her ruby lips smiling widely. "It's the least we could do, since you let us stay here for free."
"Oh, we forgot to mention last night," Paulo added sheepishly as he squeezed an orange for its juice with his bare hands. "When you're dancing for us, I kind of need to be filming you."
Haru quirked an eyebrow at him while getting out plates and cups. "What for? I thought no technology was allowed in Kinkan Town."
"Prince Siegfried lifted the ban after returning to his post, but we try to make things look like we still have the bare necessities for appearances. As for the why, it's because it makes more sense to send live videos over the internet than to pay for all the contestants to come to Kinkan Town."
Haru looked at him, still puzzled. "How did you two get roped into this if you're part of a traveling caravan?" she asked curiously.
"Not anymore," Paulamoni said cheerfully as she divided the eggs and sausages between the three plates. "We're now teachers at Kinkan Academy. Anyway, most of the other contestants only received a letter, but you were nominated for the scholarship rather late. It was much faster to come here ourselves than to trust the postal service. Here you go!" she added while handing the young brunette a plate loaded with eggs and sausage.
Haru smiled happily, and started eating ravenously, since she hadn't had much of an appetite the day before. "Just wondering, but who nominated me?"
"The prince himself," Paulo told her with a huge grin. "He absolutely insisted that you be allowed to try for this honor."
The slim girl immediately stopped chewing, her eyes wide with horror as a bit of sausage sluggishly moved down her throat. "The… prince?" she whispered.
Paulamoni looked at her curiously, a bit of egg not quite to her mouth. "Is something wrong, Haru?"
The younger girl bit her lip nervously. "I know this sounds like a crazy question to ask, but is the prince single?" she asked in a rush.
"What? No," Paulo said with a shrug, eating his own breakfast. "He's been married to Princess Rue for the past five years."
"Do they love each other?" Haru asked almost desperately, since she did not want a repeat of last year, let alone a more scandalous variety.
"Oh my, yes," the taller woman giggled. "They absolutely adore each other."
"Good," Haru said with relief, the knot in her stomach untying itself as she drank her orange juice. Neither her nor her mother had been very good cooks, so most of their meals were usually accompanied by a lot of fresh vegetables, since they were almost impossible to mess up. She had to admit; she enjoyed the rare treat.
Muta started mewing at her while rubbing his ample body against her ankles, making her laugh and set her plate on the floor so that he could finish her breakfast, the two human guests also donating a bit of their breakfast for the fat feline.
After washing the dishes, Haru ran up to her room to grab her pointe shoes and the pass she needed to use the gym.
Baron and Toto were absent when she came into her room again.
She sighed sadly, grabbed the items she needed, plus a certain favorite CD of hers, and headed downstairs again. 'I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The conversation I had with Baron last night was a little awkward. Well, I hope I'll get a chance to say goodbye before leaving, with or without the scholarship.'
Muta, at least, had the decency to meow a goodbye and lick her wrist affectionately before running down the street like a demon was after him.
"Are you sure about letting him out like that?" Paulamoni asked with concern as Haru locked her house up, and followed the couple into their car.
The slim brunette just laughed before giving them directions to the gym. "It's okay. Muta can take care of himself, and then some."
ooOoo
Haru had to admit to being a little nervous about performing for someone besides herself for the first time since the Cat Kingdom, let alone judges for her dream scholarship. She swallowed hard, stretching her limbs in the familiar gestures that were always a prelude to her ballet practice; already in her workout costume and pointe shoes strapped to her slender feet. Paulo was having some difficulty with the video camera, so his young wife was holding it between her hands, explaining something patiently in low tones so that Haru couldn't hear.
She giggled softly, since she had always been terrible with technology anyway. It would be a relief, not to be expected to know computer talk after arriving in Kinkan Town. The slim girl gave her left leg another good stretch, and tried again to forget about her nerves.
Suddenly, something light fell on her head, one hand catching it just before it fell to the floor. Curiously, Haru looked at the item.
It was a daisy, simple in its beauty. She looked up to see how it had fallen on her. Her mouth dropped open a little in amazement.
Baron was in a half-bent position on a small windowsill high above her, one that she had never noticed before. The expression on the Cat Creation's face clearly said that he hadn't meant to drop the flower on her. His slanted green eyes also looked a little scared, like he was worried that he wouldn't be welcome. Toto and Muta were also on the windowsill, but she couldn't see how or care why.
Haru beamed silently at them, and inhaled the scent from Baron's offering quietly, so that the couple behind her wouldn't take notice of the three new people in the room. 'How did he know my favorite flower?'
He smiled with relief, and mouthed something to her. "Good luck."
The knot in her stomach immediately vanished. Baron had never seen her dance ballet before, so this was a great opportunity to show him what she could do.
She smiled up at the doll one more time before securing the daisy to the front of her ballet dress, weaving the stem between the mock-corset strings and slowly turning away so that she could walk toward Paulamoni. "There's a trigger on the side," she said softly, recognizing the model of video camera. "If you press it twice, it will record live videos instead of just taking pictures, if that's what the problem is."
Paulo looked up at her sheepishly. "Is that all?" He pressed the trigger twice before snapping a strange adapter to the side of the camera. "Okay, now we're live. Do you know what music you want to use, Haru?" he asked while pointing the camera at her.
The slim brunette nodded, and loaded her CD into the speaker she had persuaded the gym's owner to let her borrow for the occasion. She usually used an mp3 player, but that wouldn't work for a live video. Not to mention the fact that she had sold the mp3 player to help pay for her mother's funeral and hospital bills.
"All, right, I'll turn it on for you," Paulamoni said with a laugh, waving her hand to make the younger girl walk out to the middle of the gym, and breathe long and slow.
"Tell me when it's on, okay?" she asked Paulo, who only laughed as he kept the camera on her.
"It's already on, Haru. We can start whenever you're ready."
The slim girl locked eyes with the older one, and nodded significantly. Paulamoni smiled and pressed the play button, filling the room with Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake Waltz.
An old habit of hers that had always annoyed her father was her tendency to close her eyes while dancing. Haru knew that she shouldn't, considering who would be watching, but the action was comforting to her. She raised her arms high in time to the music, and began to dance en pointe.
Her movements were slow and graceful at first, much like the bird that the music was named after. She twirled gracefully on one foot, her heart already beating happily in anticipation. After a minute, the music rose to a triumphant crescendo, just as she jumped high into the air, one leg in front of her in a perfect gesture.
After that, Haru forgot that anyone was in the room. For now, it just felt good to dance, whether or not anyone was watching her. The beautiful music pounded its rhythm within her blood, deafening her to all else, although she could have sworn that she heard someone exclaim something. Whenever music played, she sometimes felt like she was only a marionette, unable to help herself as some higher power manipulated her body to bend and twist in time to the classic melody.
The fourth time the music swelled, she bent low to the ground and catapulted herself ten feet into the air, twirling as her body did a full clockwise flip before she landed.
But not on her feet.
Haru instead caught herself perfectly with her hands, using the slight trace of cat that was still in her bloodstream to her advantage. Her body was as straight as an arrow, as she held herself upside down for a full second, lowering herself to the ground slightly to help absorb the impact. She then used her arms to catapult herself into the air again, a mere five feet so that she could land on her feet, and begin twirling on one foot again, oblivious to everything but the music.
After what felt like merely seconds, the music slowed, so Haru did the same, moving her limbs in time with the triumphant music into a strangely submissive gesture, nearly lying on the ground with one leg in front of her, both arms outstretched over it as her head bowed low.
Haru panted slightly, since her face was obscured from the camera, and a slight trace of sweat dotted her brow. Her heart pounded painfully, but she was used to that. 'How long is that piece, seven or eight minutes? Maybe I should have chosen something shorter.' She looked up, wondering why the next track on the CD was playing if the older woman was watching the music player.
Paulo and Paulamoni were staring at her, completely speechless.
Haru blinked at them in confusion as she stood up again. "I'm sorry; I tend to lose focus on things when I dance. Is it the shut eyes that bothered you?"
The older woman flapped her jaw soundlessly, but a slight shake of the head said no.
Haru looked at Paulo, and giggled. "Is that thing still running?"
The older man blinked, and hurriedly shut it off. "Do… you usually dance like that?" he asked carefully.
"More or less, why? I know I have a long way to go," Haru said apologetically, holding one hand behind her head with a silly smile, since nothing could lift her spirits like dancing.
Well, there was one, but she wouldn't have access to him for much longer.
"Should I do it again with some different-?" she tried to ask, but then Paulamoni rushed at her, throwing her arms around the slim brunette's neck in order to hug her tightly.
"That was beautiful, Haru," she whispered softly as the younger girl nervously patted her on the back. "Just so you know; if you're not chosen, it's because you're too good to go to an academy for further instruction. You could start with a company right now, if you really wanted to."
"No thanks," Haru said cheerfully, sneaking a glance at the windowsill from the corner of her eye. "I want to teach ballet, not go on the big stage again." 'Besides, I have some unfinished family business to take care of before I pursue a career.'
Muta and Toto looked as dumbfounded as the human couple, but Baron was smiling widely, though a little sadly, and there were actual tears flowing down his face. He applauded silently, his green eyes never straying from her.
"Thank you," she mouthed at him, thrilled that he had gotten to see her dance at least once before she left for Kinkan Town, with or without the scholarship.