HELLLLOOOOOOOO, my lovelies! I would like to say that I, in no way, own these characters! That distinction belongs Ms. Stephenie Meyer. I do own a broken bike and hope to add an iPad to my list of possessions soon!

Also, I know many of you are looking for a lil horizontal one-on-one time for Bella and Edward and I promise it is coming (hehehe) but you have to be patient. This story will be rather short but the need for build-up is essential for flow. I will tease you a bit and say that I write ahead a little and am currently working on something that will appease your pervy sensibilities

As always, I am forever indebted (and I do mean this literally because I'm fairly sure they plan on billing me for my crappy grammar/punctuation skills) to my wonderful beta's L and 2littleladies! Girls, in the words of Sir Elton John…I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, How wonderful life is while you're in the world. Seriously, it would never be the same without you.

To my Robnabler, Merkateer, and TwiPervTour sweeties, talking to you on Twitter is often the highlight of my day. Having amazing friends like you makes it easy to get up and do my thing

Last I must thank Aspenleaf and Roselover24 for their continued support and frequent gchat/skype convo's. You both inspire me to be a better, more creative writer. Thank you!

I wrote a lil o/s for BellaFanatic's birthday this week and posted it. It's Emmett/Rosalie fluff, perv, and snark. If you need a lil funny, hot action then by all means GO READ IT! It was a blast to write! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5875965/1/The_Lemontastic_Adventure_of_Emmett_and_Rosalie

Chapter 4

Flight

"Nice place you have here, Eddie," Bella said.

"Thanks, and if you don't mind I really hate that name. I'd rather you call me Cullen if you can't stomach Edward," he snipped. His distaste for the name Eddie was long and sordid. It didn't matter that Bella was the flesh and bones manifestation of everything he wanted in a woman; calling him "Eddie" was simply not an option…EVER.

"Touchy. No problem, Edward. Anyway, where are the books you were mentioning, this could be an all-nighter."

"Why don't you sit down and eat your lunch while I go rummage around in my room for them. I think I have three or four that might help." Edward walked out of the room as he finished what he had to say and made his way to his bedroom. The books he had were old and one of them might actually be helpful but not enough to translate what was on the tablet. He had to keep Bella from figuring out what was written long enough to formulate a plan to steal the tablet and keep her safe.

Coming up with that plan had seemed a lot easier just two days ago.

Locating the books, he reentered the living room to find Bella stuffing her face full of food and humming in enjoyment. If ever there was a time he was thankful for the casual t-shirt and shorts he had on, it was now. His pants pulled around his crotch painfully as he stood and gawked at the vision before him. Even the mundane act of shoveling food in her mouth was incredibly erotic. No matter how hard his subconscious tried to bring him back to reality he continued to stare, mouth wide, pants bulging. A few more seconds went by before his head snapped down to the problem with his lower half and he pulled his t-shirt out, discreetly trying to adjust himself, to no avail of course.

"Here they are," he mumbled.

"Fanks, Edfard," Bella answered through a mouthful of food. After swallowing and taking a long sip of her water she added, "let's get started, my good man," in her best British butler accent.

Four painfully long hours later they were no closer to translating the stone than they were when it was found.

"Seriously Edward, I don't think we will ever figure this shit out. It could take years. It's like this person took fifty different versions and created their own. Fuuuuuuck!" Bella moaned, rubbing her eyes fiercely.

"You might be right. I really wish my father was here, he has more knowledge of ancient languages than anyone I know."

"Is he an archeologist too? I don't remember reading about another Cullen in the field," Bella muttered.

"Checking up on me, Swan?"

"Maybe. I had to make sure you weren't some spy for the competition. Not that I would have any idea who the competition is when I don't even know exactly who is funding me, but still. Better safe than sorry." She blushed bright red, having been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar for the second time in less than 24 hours.

"You know what I think? I think you like me. It's alright, I'm a likeable guy. You can admit it. I promise not to gloat." Edward's teasing tone cut through the tension that had been building since they had sat down to work on the tablet. It felt good to smile in her presence and see her smile in turn. The blushing was just an added bonus and hazard. "And no, my dad is a medical doctor but has always been fascinated with all things historical. He's the reason I'm in this field."

"Well then, it is too bad he's not here. Anything to shed some light on this fucking puzzle would be a huge relief." Bella sighed and sat back on the couch with an audible thud.

-BS-

Both Edward and Bella jumped when Bella's phone began to ring. Immediately it put her on guard because the only person who had access to her personal number was Angela, and she would only use it if there was something wrong.

"Ang, what's up?" Bella asked, her voice full of apprehension.

"Felix is back and he is seriously pissed off. He keeps yelling for someone to find you and I heard him mumble something about making sure you don't talk. What the fuck is going on, Bells? I'm scared. Like horror movie, "don't go in that room alone, moron" scared!"

"I found something this morning but I can't see why that would have him all worked up. Try to sneak away, Ang and meet me back at the house." Bella was working on a plan to get them both out of town so they could figure out exactly what was going on.

"I can't go to the house. Felix already sent some goon named Demitri to wait there for you," Angela whispered.

"Bella, tell Angela to meet us here. I know why they want you but before I can fill you in we need to get the two of you out of here." Edward's chiseled jaw was set firm and tight as he growled out his order.

"Edward, I really don't want to involve you too. I can do this…" Bella began.

"Do what I say or more people than you can possibly imagine will be in danger. NOW!"

"Fucknuggets, fine!" Turning her mouth back to the receiver, she ordered Angela to meet them at Edward's apartment and gave her directions. Factoring in time for her to sneak off undetected, Bella figured it would be about 40 minutes of pacing before her friend arrived. Bella was nervous and determined that Angela not be hurt due to their friendship.

"Edward, do you really know what is going on here? Cause I have to tell you, it's freaking my shit out and I'm just praying that my faith in you isn't misplaced." Bella fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she stared into Edward's honeyed eyes.

"I'm afraid I do, and when I tell you I'm pretty sure your shit will freak even more, which is why I can't tell you here. Just know your faith isn't misplaced and I'm one of the good guys." Edward's sincere expression allowed Bella to breathe just a little easier.

"Thanks for the warning and for helping me. Jeeeeezus! Is this the longest mother fucking 40 minutes or what?"

-BS-

Angela was being watched like a hawk as she sped through escape plans in her head.

"I'm off for the night Felix. If I see Bella should I give her a message?" she asked slyly.

"No message. I'll have someone take you home," he replied in his ever-present groan.

"I have a car, dude. I can get myself home just fine."

Angela began walking for the path that led to base camp but was cut off by Felix, who had not only been behind her but should have been at least 30 meters away from her.

"You will let someone drive you home or I will do it myself. This is not an option." He grabbed her upper arm roughly and began to drag her to camp and his office. Once there, he called a man named Alec to take her home and turned to make his way back to the cave.

"Listen man, I really have to pee before I leave. Can you ease up on the guard dog routine and give me some space?" Angela could feel his cool breath on her shoulder as she asked to relieve herself in private. Turning around to face him she noticed he was wearing glasses very similar to Felix's, giving him the same creepy look and it made her more uneasy than she already was.

"Fine, but I will be watching you and I can hear everything you say and do," he said with a sneer.

"Alrighty then, Terminator. I'll be baaaack!" With that, she headed for the portable bathrooms by way of a large group of students.

As Alec turned his head in the direction she had gone, he saw a woman with a long dark ponytail enter the bathrooms with a huff and a slam but Angela was already on her way to her car. She had written a note to a girl that looked remarkably like her from the back and asked that she cover her by going to the port-a-potty. When the girl said she would, it took all of her might to keep from hugging the girl ferociously but her desire to high-tail it out of camp won over and she sprinted for her car.

Once on the road, she was amazed it hadn't been more difficult to get away and figured her escort was a little too confident his ability to use fear to persuade his prey to relent to his demands. He didn't consider that Angela might be smarter than the average target.

With 5 minutes to spare, Angela showed up to Edward's apartment door shaking, scared, and in desperate need of answers.

"Oh Jesus, Ang. I am so glad you made it." Bella hugged her hard as she dragged her into the room, leaving Edward to shut the door behind her.

"I wasn't sure I was going to. Do you know what that asshat Felix was going to do? He was going to have some Terminator wannabe drive me home. .FUCK!"

"Angela, Edward has promised to fill us in but we have to get out of here first. We can't go back to the house so all we have is what is on us. Do you have your passport?" Bella began digging in her own bag to be sure she had hers on her person.

"I do, thank God. So what do we do now? FUCK! I feel like I'm in some B version of Indiana Jones or something," Angela huffed.

Edward snorted at Angela's comment, knowing that Indy himself wouldn't have believed half the shit he was going to have to tell these two women.

"Now we get the hell outta Dodge and pray we aren't followed. Angela, did Felix know I started yesterday?" Edward asked.

"He didn't say anything about you, so maybe not? I think he might be preoccupied enough with Bella to overlook your dig and he's trying not to bring attention to the whole situation so he hasn't been asking people what they know. I think the only reason he asked me is because Bells and I are always together."

"Good. Well, this gives us an option that will allow us to leave now without him or any of his men knowing who I am. As for you two, I'm thinking we need to go incognito. Ladies, let's dude-ify you," Edward laughed.

"Dude-ify? Christ on a cracker Edward, stop speaking in code and just tell us what the fuck to do!" Bella was walking in circles wringing her hands as she said this. She was never very good with tense situations and this definitely qualified as tense.

"What I mean is you both need disguises and the only thing I can come up with is making you look like men. I have all the clothes for the job."

"Really? That's your idea of a brilliant plan? Son of a biscuit eater, Edward that will never work. First of all I'm like a million times smaller than you and I have long ass hair! Second…well, I don't have a second point but I think the first one is more than valid," Bella whined.

"We can make it work. Angela, you are tall enough to pass easily and I have a stocking cap you can wear to hide your hair. I have several pairs of sunglasses too. Let me go rifle through what my sister packed and see what else I come up with."

Edward stepped out of the room to search for anything they could use as a disguise. Bella was still more than skeptical but Angela was on board with anything that would get her away from the situation they were in.

"Bella, just trust him. I'm a pretty good judge of people and Mr. Beautiful there is good people. I just want to get back to Ben and my mom. I just want to be safe and boring," Angela seemed to be struggling to stay calm.

"Shhhh, we'll get you home safely Ang, I promise. I do trust him, more than you could possibly know, but there is a lot he has to tell us and I'm pretty sure it's gonna freak us both out. As a matter of fact, he already warned me it would." Bella was trying desperately to wrap her head around everything that had transpired since she woke that morning.

-BS-

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I HIT THE MOTHER LOAD LADIES!" Edward yelled from the other room.

When he reentered the room, he was carrying what looked like flesh colored pillows stitched together, hair, and a handful of paperwork.

"So, this is part of what I will need to explain to you once we are somewhere safe but for now just know that my sister Alice is our savior and we won't have to make do with my ridiculous excuse for disguises." With a flourish, he laid everything he had been holding down onto the floor and proceeded to explain what the cluster was. "This," he said, holding up the connected pillowy thing "is body padding. Bella it would be best if you use this as making you a guy really is out of the question."

Bella threw him a disgruntled look.

"What? You said it first! You're too short and your hair is too long to get completely under a cap, so, we will just make you a chubby old woman," he finished, looking quite proud of himself.

"Fine. But when will we change outta this shit so we can use our passports?" Bella was less than pleased with being required to play the part of a fat old woman but understood the necessity.

"That's the beauty of Alice. She sent passports for all of us. I just have to make each of us look like the picture on the passport and we will remain in these disguises until we make it to London. At that point we have another set of passports and some more, ah, appealing disguises to get us to the States where we will again change costume. I'm hoping that if they are trying to follow us it will throw them off enough to give us time to get back to my family."

"I'm game Edward, but won't I just be going straight to my family? I need to know they're alright." Angela's concern for Ben and her mother was obvious as tears welled up in her eyes as she waited for Edward's response.

"Angela, my family is keeping an eye on your loved ones and they are safe. Very, very safe. I can't let you go directly to them because that would put everyone in immediate danger. If we feel at any point that their safety is compromised, I promise to bring them to you." He rubbed her shoulder in a soothing gesture as she nodded her head in agreement. "Now, let's get this started."

For the better part of an hour they all worked to make one another look the part they were to play. Bella donned the padding to transform into the old woman while Edward was outfitted with a beard, mustache, and beer gut. Their clothing was appropriate for a pair of older travelers and Angela completed their little family dressed as a young man with a penchant for gansta rap. They looked convincing enough but Edward had a feeling his sister had chosen these costumes as payment for a little trick he played on her a few years ago involving her prize Prada purse and profuse amounts of mud. She always warned there would be retaliation but Alice was an opportunity stalker and loved to let the anticipation brew. Just when Edward had forgotten to be afraid of her, she struck.

Once they were all disguised, they packed what they needed, secured their passports and the tablet, which they intended to ship to Edward's family, and tried not to look in any mirrors for fear of collapsing in raucous laughter, thus ending their need for them.

Edward suggested taking the train north to Paris where they would board their plane for the first leg of their journey. He booked flights that would seem random in hopes of throwing off any pursuers so the trip home would take a number of days rather than one and he wasn't at all sure how his human companions would cope.

His plan was not a simple one because in addition to rigorous flights and drives between various airports, they would need to acquire and change disguises several times. This task was nothing for him, he never tired or needed sleep but the women in his care would need more than a few moments for their human needs, especially given the strain of the situation and rigorous travel.

As they began the drive to the train station, the conversation was stilted and the air surrounding them tense. Edward did his best to soothe their worries with music and laughter but neither did the trick. By the time they boarded the train and found their private roomette he, knew the time had come to discuss the situation they were in. He also knew that being honest about everything that was going on might prove difficult, at best.

Questions flew through his mind: Was it wise to tell these women that he and his family were vampires? How would they react? Would Bella be repulsed? Why did he care if Bella was repulsed? Sweet mother, would they scream? He really didn't think he could handle two screaming women in the small compact room they were in but didn't see any way around it.

Before coming to anything close to a conclusion on his inner ramblings, his mouth opened and began spewing forth words that were anything but eloquent.

"Now that we're on our way and securely out of range from Felix and his crew, I think it's time to let you in on what's going on. I need your promise that no matter how bizarre and crazy the things I say sound, that you will hear me out and give me the benefit of the doubt. I promise I am anything but crazy, and I DO. NOT. LIE."

There was a small chorus of "ok" from the women and he continued.

"Felix and the men working for him are part of an, uh, organization? I suppose that's the word for it. An organization called the Volturi. They are based in the Italian city of Volterra. Angela, I'm sure you're familiar with that city. I believe you did some preservation of the frescos in one of the large city buildings a while back, yes?"

"Uh, yeah. I was actually hired by the city, though, and I never heard mention of the Volturi. Are they like organized crime or something?"

"Not exactly. I'll get to who they are in a moment. They have funded several large digs around the world for the express purpose of finding the tablet you have, Bella. It is a piece of history that they share with my family and a world outside of your knowledge. Which leads me to whom, or rather what, we all are. Fuck, this is going to sound like something out of a horror novel…"

Bella watched Edward's jaw flex under his perfect skin and wondered what could be so ridiculous that would make it this difficult to say. Before she could continue her thought, he cleared his throat.

"Vampires."

"What about vampires?" Angela asked.

"WE. ARE. VAMPIRES."

Again, I ask that you review but I understand if you just wanna read. As a writer, there is nothing better than hearing from you audience. The button is no longer colored but it does have a cute lil speech bubble…press it, please

I posted a TON of rec's last update so this time 'round there aren't as many but they are all AWESOME!

Rec's for the week:

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5832993/1/Decoy by 107YearOldVirgin…this story will transport you back to the pain of high school, if it was indeed painful for you…it was for me. It's beautifully written and combines Can't Buy Me Love and Twilight. The author is one of my fav's as she can write humor mixed with an angsty tang so very well. This story IS NOT HUMOROUS! It's very compelling and the characters are so very real. Bring tissues.

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net /s/5478916/1/The_Ripper by Aspenleaf…My favorite period fic author and bestie is writing a mystery that centers around the murders by Jack the Ripper. She has 6 chapters posted and we should be getting to the murders shortly. I am constantly guessing about who will be the infamous serial murderer and have yet to figure it out. The writing is phenomenal and the characters are superb. This is a must read…TRUST!

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5792015/1/Tips_for_Better_Living by Adorablecullens…I started reading this after the first chapter was posted and fell for it immediately. I'm not wholly sure what to expect but I trust that Ms. AC will take us on a wonderful trip. This Edward is young and flighty. He makes tons of mistakes, doesn't take life seriously, and expects everyone else to pick up the pieces…until he meets Bella. The difference here is that Bella is older, though I have not figured out just how old, and is a regular at the diner Edward is working at in order to pay off his debts to his father. This is a true coming of age story that makes you think and begs the question, are there guardian angels on earth?