Chapter 4-Bittersweet Memories
Despite how happy I was to see my mom and sister I excused my self fairly quickly choosing to go sleep. There's no way I could make it through the events that will take place in the next few days without properly resting. I sleep through a good portion of the day until my mom wakes me up so I can shower. I stumble along to the bathroom after grabbing my clothes, its not until I've spent nearly 15 minutes under the steady stream of warm whatever that I'm fully awake.
I know I should try to hurry but in this moment the small shower feels like a sanctuary, outside is a lifetime of memories contained within the walls of this home. I keep waiting for the breakdown to come where I fall apart and reality fully sinks in. Part of me knows it won't happen now, most likely once the funeral is over and everyone goes home, once I'm all alone with nothing but my thought that's when it'll hit me.
A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts and I quickly finish showering. Wrapping the towel around me I stand in front of the mirror wiping it with my hand. Its funny how I look the same as always, same hazel eyes, same long brown hair and sun kissed skin but yet I feel so different like all of a sudden a part of me is gone. I rub my face tiredly and brush out any tangles in my hair throwing it into a messy bun and slipping into light denim jeans, a elbow length white button down and ballet flats.
I walk out and into the kitchen to find my mom and sister eating lunch. "Hey sweetie, I'm glad to see you're up" my mom says as she leans over to hug me once I take a seat. "Yeah I'm really sorry I know you guys probably had to keep finalizing plans without me, that drive was just brutal". I grab a sandwich off a platter in the middle of the table and pour myself some sweet tea "It's all good we figured you'd need sleep once you got here plus it meant I got to have moms pancakes all to myself" My sister Laura teases me sticking her tongue out so I throw my napkin at her causing us to giggle and my mom to roll her eyes but its obvious she's trying to fight back a smile.
I bite into my sandwich and look around at the place so infused with my grandfathers spirit and instantly feel bad for laughing. I look at Laura and can tell she's thinking the same thing so I reach out and grab her hand giving it a squeeze. The rest of the day goes by in a blur as we make countless phone calls to distant relatives and old friends of my grandpas. There was also a trip to the funeral home to pick out the casket and a few other details then set up payment for it all.
Close to evening time we went and ordered a bunch of hors d'oeuvres for the people coming to the house to pay their respects following the funeral. At the end of the day I'm grateful to have had my mom and Laura with me, I cant imagine us doing all of this without the support of each other.
Dinner consisted of a couple of burgers we picked up from the local diner and brought home, after an emotional day we each just took ours and went our own way to eat in silence. Afterward I just laid in bed looking at the ceiling replaying old memories in my head like the time pappy stayed with us during the spring instead of summer, I must have been eight and Laura eleven.
For a whole week he waited until we were marked as present in school around 8:45 then he signed us out and took us out. One day we got ice cream and went bowling, another day he took us to swim at the lake. I get lost in the memory until I feel the bed dip and look to see my sister laying down next to me and for a while we're quiet until I break the silence "I was just thinking about the time pappy helped us ditch school for a week so we could hang out with him".
I hear her chuckle lightly with a look of fondness on her delicate features. "That was great just like when you were five and he surprised us with a trip to Disney land. For months you wouldn't stop wearing the mickey ears he bought us". I smile recalling that magical moment "I still have those too, I really should wear them more often". She bumps my shoulder with hers and I smile, she grabs my hand and once again we're surrounded by silence both absorbed in our bitter sweet memories. That's the exact position we fall asleep in taking comfort in each others presence.