Chapter 4
A/N: Do you want the good news, bad news, or indifferent news first? I'll start with the bad.
The plot bunnies are gone. For good. They are never coming back. Ever.
The good news, however, is that they have all been replaced by a small herd of plot Bilgesnipe. If you would like to read more about them, go to my profile page. The indifferent news (to you, "I-don't-know" news to me) is that plot Bilgesnipe eat more, and there are seven of them. So if you don't review, my brain shall become Bilgesnipe chow. Read on, Midgardian Mortal!
Disclaimer: the Bilgesnipes don't like to admit it, but we don't own the Avengers. Or the Statue of Liberty. Or anything else that is recognizable in this story. ON TO THE GOOD STUFF!
I've never been to London,
But I came from France,
And I have everyone's underpants!
Who Am I?
The Avengers (Minus Iron Man) stared intently at the scrap of paper in Bruce's hand. Almost everyone was still shocked the Tony had taken all of their clothes, so they weren't thinking too hard about where the first clue was leading them. Almost everyone. Steve, of course, knew almost immediately where they were supposed to go.
"Statue of Liberty." He said confidently.
"How do you know this, Friend Steve?" Thor asked, surprised.
"That's easy. The statue, which was sculpted by Frederic Auguste Bartholdi, was a gift from the French, to commemorate our friendship with them after the Revolutionary War, and our centennial as a country. However, due to slow fundraising, Lady Liberty didn't make it to Ellis Island until June of 1885, nearly ten years after the centennial…" Steve would have kept going all day if someone hadn't stopped him.
"Okay, we get it, Cap. I've never seen a professor give a history lecture in his underwear. Let's get going." Natasha said icily.
"Quick question: how did you guys not know that Lady Liberty is French?" Steve asked. He was amazed that his friends knew so little about the great landmark.
"Asgardian."
"Russian."
"Math was more my strong subject in school."
"I must have been waiting for recess to start."
These answers came from Thor, Natasha, Bruce, and Clint, respectively.
"That's sad. Tony, the man who couldn't tie his shoes without Pepper, knew, and you didn't." Steve said, amazed.
"Tony probably just Googled it this morning." Bruce said.
"You're probably right. Let's get going. I want my clothes back."
0o0o0o0o0o0o
Twenty minutes later, the pajamaed Avengers were cruising out of Tony's garage in the STARK 5 car. Steve was the first to voice a concern.
"Hey, Tasha, won't Tony be mad when he finds out that you hotwired his car?" he asked nervously.
"He's the one who's sending us on this harebrained 'mission', so he should be prepared to deal with the consequences." She returned unfeelingly. Next, Thor chimed in.
"Yes, but what if something happens to it?" he asked.
"What, You don't trust me? We'll be fine. I've been driving on the autobahn for years. New York City rush hour is nothing compared to that!" she replied confidently. To prove her abilities, she stomped on the accelerator to make it through a yellow light.
"Um, Tasha, I'm pretty sure that yellow means 'slow down.'" Clint said from the back seat.
"Oh, yeah? Well, on the Autobahn, yellow means floor it. And I don't appreciate backseat drivers."
"WE'RE NOT ON THE FREAKIN' AUTOBAHN!" Clint yelled in alarm, as they nearly collided with a taxi that had decided to stop abruptly to pick up a passenger. Natasha laughed evilly and swerved around the taxi.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
When they had arrived at Ellis Island, all but Natasha poured out of the vehicle and kissed the ground. When they all had composed themselves, they headed for the base of the statue. There they met the security guard whom Tony had paid off to deliver a scrap of paper to the weirdoes running about NYC in their pajamas. He stopped them and gave them a piece of paper, a note from Tony. It read:
I'm glad you made it. I hope you're not afraid of heights;
best of luck to you
As soon as Clint had read the note, he scoffed.
"Afraid of heights? The Avengers? High spots are my favorite, Cap has been skydiving, Thor can fly, Tasha is pretty much fearless. And Bruce shouldn't be afraid of heights. He's indestructible. This should be easy. I'll go get the stuff"
So, up the stairs he went. He came out in the torch that the statue was holding. He immediately saw their undergarments. They were inside of boxes that were made of the Hulk-proof glass from the cell in the heli-carrier. The next clue was in a brightly colored envelope on one f the boxes. He grabbed it, stacked up the boxes, and headed for the stairs. When he returned to the ground, everyone grabbed at their own box, hoping to open them.
"I don't think we'll be able to open them here, guys." He said. "It's the same material as the holding cell on the heli-carrier. But I got the next clue," he said as he opened the envelope. He read it silently to himself before passing it around.
What are you doing TODAY?
-Tony
A/N: So where are they headed next? Feel free to PM location ideas and clues to my profile. Oh, and this is the first story that I've written that has more than one page of reviews! Let's see if we can get to three pages!