Three months, 4 days, and Rick estimated about 7 hours since he had followed Daryl out of those showers after "doin' what they did" as Daryl had put it so eloquently that day. He huffed as he continued digging in his garden. "What they did" had been all that they had been doing and, frankly, he was tired. Not that it wasn't good… feeling the flex of the lithe, hard earned muscle beneath the taut, tanned, and sometimes clean skin underneath his trembling hand as it moved down his broad chest, coasting through the light curls to wrap around the turgid flesh to stroke him to completion was high on his list of favorite activities. Thrusting against the pale hip, cock against cock was also high up there, possibly even above the handjobs, but that depended on the day. No… he just wanted a little more variety. Rick wanted to take their relationship to the next level, but he wasn't quite sure how to do that. With women it had been a lot easier, but this was a man, and a sometimes highly volatile one at that.

Minor touches, he always reminded himself every time he almost suggested something different, but maybe it was time he just took matters into his own hands. After all, he was the one that had to initiate this whole relationship in the first place. If it hadn't of been for his stupidly brazen move that day in the cell after Daryl had come back with the deer, they'd still be stealing glances and slicing the sexual tension with fucking butter knives. Rick sighed, sitting back on his heels, looking up at the watch tower where he knew Daryl to be.

Sure enough, as soon as Rick's eyes lit on him the man on watch jerked his body, signaling that he had been caught staring. Rick just shook his head, smiling as he watched Daryl pace around the top of the tower, crossbow at the ready. His crossbow was ialways/i at the ready. There was a dirty joke in there that he chuckled to himself about, thinking that he needed to use that later. Maybe he could use it as a cheesy pickup line and have the hunter meet him somewhere tonight.

Movement out of the corner of his eyes drew his attention away. Carol walked by on her way to clear the fence, smiling slightly at him and nodding her head in acknowledgement. They hadn't said much to each other since the first night after Rick had given Daryl a massage with the lavender oil. He cursed at himself for that nearly every day, but he didn't know what he could say to her. He wasn't sure everything that she knew and he didn't want to bring it up and possibly end up in a confrontation that he couldn't win. Fighting over a lover, especially a man… Rick just wasn't sure about that.

"Growing any weed down here, Officer?"

Rick jumped slightly at the sudden voice behind him, whirling around though still on his hands and knees. "What would make you ask that?"

Daryl smiled down at him, crossbow slung over his back, arms crossed in front of him, bulking up his arm muscles. Rick openly stared at the man, sitting back on his feet in front of him. In the past three months he's done a lot of staring across the compound, the prison, hell even the shower.

Daryl just smiled his lazy smile, tilting his head in the direction that Carol disappeared to. "You've hardly been working down here. Just kinda sitting and staring off. Thought maybe you had tapped into some good stuff that you might be willing to share."

Rick patted the dirt next to him and Daryl sat. "Just been thinking…"

Grabbing a tomato from a plant and biting into it, Daryl asked, "'Bout what?"

iUs/i he wanted to say. iSex. Love. Jealousy. All the things I can't say to you because I don't know the security of this.../i "Carol," he answered instead.

Daryl's face was almost comical as he tried to figure out what was ticking through the other man's head. "What for?"

"Her and I haven't spoken since that first night. I don't know what to say to her. I'm sorry seems odd. I'm not giving you up either and I don't share well."

Daryl snorted, taking another bite of the tomato. "Nothing worth sharing. And I don't share well either."

"Did you talk to her?" He just got a nod for an answer, but without any eye contact. "What did you say?"

Worrying the cuticle on his thumbnail, Daryl shrugged. He had hoped to avoid this conversation, but he supposed Rick had a right to know. "Told her I'm sorry that I didn't feel that way about her. Wasn't nothing wrong with her, it's with me. That she was better off without me and we'd run across someone that would sweep her off her feet soon just like in the fairy tales."

Rick shook his head, moving to sit directly next to the hunter. "There's nothing wrong with you. And for the record, you idid/i sweep ime/i off my feet."

Daryl snorted again, side eyeing the sheriff. "Then maybe there's something with iya/i instead of me."

"So you told her… about…"

With a curt nod, he responded, "Told her it was a private matter. Asked her not to tell anyone else and I know she won't. She walked in on us once, bet you didn't know that."

iFuck./i "No, I didn't." Rick cursed at himself. When did that happen? Shit they had to be more careful.

"S'why I told you not the showers anymore, cause I saw her over your shoulder. I think that hurt her more than me smelling like lavender."

Rick bowed his head in contemplation. He had fucked up and didn't even know it. Daryl had told him that they shouldn't use the showers as a meeting place anymore only a month in. So she had seen them two months ago? No wonder she didn't have anything to say to him. "I iam/i sorry that I broke her heart by stealing you out from under her."

Daryl shrugged, kicking at the dirt slightly, running his hand through his messy, no doubt dirty hair. "Didn't steal me. I wouldn't have been with her anyways. She couldn't'a been happy with me. I ain't easy to settle with."

Rick's hand itched to reach across and run through the dirty locks, swiping them out of his lover's face. He still couldn't believe the low value Daryl put on himself, especially with how much he so obviously meant to him and all of those around them. "I don't know what kind of man I would be if I had never met you Daryl Dixon," Rick said honestly. "You've been there through everything with me. Pulled me back from the brink of insanity."

Daryl just shook his head, standing and brushing the dirt off his ass. "Don't get started on all that now. Tha's all talk. Ya'd be just fine without me and ya know it. Might be a little skinnier though. I'm going to go take a nap. Been on watch all damn day and this Georgia heat got me."

Rick watched him walk away. That was how they had not escalated their relationship. If you could even call it a relationship. Real feelings were never truly expressed and whenever he tried, Daryl would back away with some sort of excuse.

An hour later, Rick had wandered inside. The garden was as tended to as it could be for the day. He took a quick shower and headed up towards Daryl's cell. Usually when they were napping, one would join the other behind the curtains that they had all put up in their cells for a small bit of privacy. Daryl's cell was still far enough away from everyone's that it felt the most private and Rick thanked God or whoever above for small favors as he pulled back the dark curtain. Daryl was laid out on his back, his hand under his pillow, no doubt cradling the handle of a knife that Rick knew he'd have to avoid before climbing into bed with the man. Stepping out of his boots alone alerted Daryl as he sat up, pulling the knife out from under the pillow. "Shit, Rick, 's just you. Thought you'd be here earlier," he sighed, dropping the knife under the bed and laying back down but pushing himself against the wall, giving the other man plenty of room to lay down.

Rick lay facing Daryl, running a hand up and down the exposed flesh of the other man's arm. "Just been thinkin' while workin' out in the garden."

Daryl fidgeted a bit. Rick had an idea that the other man knew exactly what he had been thinking about. "Still? 'Bout what now?" he asked.

"Us," Rick answered honestly. "Whether or not there even is an us."

Daryl scoffed but kept his voice low. "You breaking up with me now, Sheriff?"

Rick shook his head. "No, but I wasn't entirely sure you…" He sighed. This was harder than he thought it was going to be. "I'm not sure we are both thinking along the same lines here."

Daryl never lifted his gaze, but responded with, "You don't think we want the same things?"

"Basically…"

"What do you want then? A warm body?"

Rick could feel Daryl's defenses raising after knowing the man so intimately for so long and he knew that he had to get them lowered to get anywhere in this conversation. "No, Daryl I want you. I like you. I ireally/i like you and that terrifies me. Not just because you're a man but because of this whole… situation… If something happened to you out there, on one of your hunts or a run or whatever, I don't know… I couldn't…"

Arms unexpectedly surrounded him, pulling him in close to the sun kissed body. Soft shushes were whispered in his ear, followed by, "You're not going to lose me. I'm right here. I'm a tough sonofabitch, you know that."

Rick wrapped his arms around Daryl, clinging to him. "I just want to know that you feel even somewhat like that for me."

"Aw hell, Rick. I love that you're Farmer Brown now. I don't have to worry much about'cha," Daryl smiled at him, blushing slightly.

"So then… are we… what are we?" Rick asked. He needed to know. He needed to hear it from Daryl and that just killed him. He felt no better than some teenage girl with raging hormones going after the school bad boy.

"Well I'm not calling you my boyfriend if that's what you're going for," Daryl quipped as Rick rolled him onto his back, staring down at him.

Rick hummed, "Lover? Partner?"

"Do we have to have a label? Can't it just be 'us?' We've been doin' jus' fine without semantics from the old world. Unless… is there something wrong, Rick? Is that what's been botherin' you?" Daryl finally asked, his blue eyes turning a shade darker.

Rick sighed. "I just wondered why we haven't taken our relationship, ius/i, any farther than we have."

"You mean like told people?"

Rick shook his head, drawing his hand down Daryl's chest and cupping his flaccid crotch. "Any farther down here."

"Oh…." This time Rick saw Daryl's blush clearly. "I don't know how…"

"Me either," he answered, rubbing his hand on the jean clad crotch, feeling the encased cock stiffen slightly at his touch. "But I want to experiment with you. Will you let me experiment, Daryl?"

"Fuck, Rick. Don't you think that's… fuck," he grunted at a particularly hard rub, "don't you think that might be a little too…"

Rick nearly purred as he leaned in, licking a line from Daryl's shoulder to his ear. He was completely turned on now, being so close to this man, smelling his musk, being in his bed. "A little too what?"

"Gay!" Daryl finally blurted and immediately regretted it as the hand instantly left his crotch.

"I thought we just decided…," Rick started.

"Rick, I just. I like you man. I do. I just don't think I'm ready to be that yet. I'm not gay," Daryl said, running his hand through his hair and bringing his thumb down to bite on the cuticle.

"I'm not asking you to be gay, Daryl. I had a wife and have two children. I'm not gay, but I fucking…" ilove you/i was what he wanted to say. No way that was coming out now though. "I'm interested enough in you to want to express myself this way with you. Not as in like a one-time thing. I thought we had just established that there is an us."

Daryl closed his eyes, almost wishing that they weren't in his cell just so he could walk out. Sitting up, he rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Rick sat up as well, giving his back to Daryl as he rested his elbows on his knees. "Rick… it's not…"

"You know, what? Forget it Daryl," he sighed, tiredly, standing up from the bed and walking to the cell door. "Just don't worry about it. Forget this ever happened."

"Rick, it ain't like that!"

"Apparently it is," he huffed and walked out of the cell. Daryl cursed and punched his pillow.

Hours later, after the sun had gone down and everyone had gone to sleep, Rick lay awake in his cell listening to the quiet around him. He had avoided the rest of the prison after his confrontation with Daryl, just like he used to do in high school after a bad breakup. Running his hand over his face he thought back on their conversation earlier. Truth be told, Daryl had never said that he had feelings for the man. He just said he was thankful he didn't have to worry about him out on runs because he was in the garden now. Shit, how could he be so stupid? Daryl didn't really want anything to do with him like ithat/i.

"Rick?" came the soft voice.

Startled out of his thoughts, Rick sat up, mad at himself for not noticing the man though not all that surprised either. Daryl was fucking quiet when he wanted to be. "Daryl? You ok?"

A dirt-stained hand pushed the curtain back as the younger man padded barefoot into the cell. Rick almost snorted. It was a rare sight to see him dressed down like this, in nothing but jeans and a tank top. "Not really," he answered. "Mind if I come in?"

Rick nodded, "Yeah, come on," he said, scooting over on the bed so he could sit. "What's on your mind?"

Daryl shook his head as he sat down. "Don't be like that. Please."

"Like what?"

"All… leader-like. I just," he sighed. "I'm an ass and I don't know how to say things the way I mean them sometimes."

Rick's eyebrows raised dramatically. Was Daryl Dixon apologizing to him? He scooted closer to him on the bed, sitting next to him on the edge.

"I didn't mean things the way I think you took them earlier. I just meant that I had never thought…," he coughed slightly on the words. "I never even thought about sex with a man before I met you. Or anything else of a sexual nature with a man. A handjob is easy. But the whole mouth thing… and… you know… sex… I just. I wouldn't say I want to but I'm not saying I don't want to. And I know that doesn't make any sense." Running his hands through his hair, he fumbled with his words, finally just giving up and looking at Rick. "I'm sorry, okay? I've fucked things up again. Merle and my Dad were right. I'm shit at dealing with other people."

Rick chuckled to himself at the mess sitting next to him. So Daryl had been up in his cell brooding just the same as he had been all these hours. "It's ok, Daryl," he said, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling their bodies together. Kissing the side of his head gently he whispered, "We only go as far as you are comfortable, okay? I'm new to this too. The idea of going down on another man… or fucking another man, not exactly something that's run through my head either."

Daryl nodded, leaning into the warmth. "Next time, just don't run out on me, ok? Give me some more time to dig my own grave."

Rick laughed. "I promise. I'll even give you a shovel." Daryl laughed, the sound turning into a yawn. "Did you even get any sleep after I left?"

"Nah, was too worked up. Ya messed me up, Grimes."

"Lay down with me then. I haven't wrapped my arms around you in awhile."

"You sure you wanna lay down with a dog like me?" Daryl snorted.

"I'll give you a flea bath tomorrow, but there's no other man or dog I'd rather lay or be with," Rick answered, kissing his lips softly to end the discussion. Sighing contentedly, both men laid down on the bunk. Fingertips played along the sun kissed skin of Daryl's arm before moving down to his hip and pulling him back flush against the man behind him. The warm hand came around, fingers splaying on his chest, covering his heartbeat. The thought that he had almost lost this ran through Daryl's mind as his eyelids grew heavy. Rick's head resting against the back of his neck and their legs entwined sent a calming sensation throughout his body, pushing him down into sleep.