Loki usually took his time leaving the Lucky Horseshoe when his shift was over. After all, it wasn't like he had anything pressing to get to. His life these days consisted of his work at the Lucky Horseshoe and the volunteer time that he put in at the soup kitchen. Hardly the glamourous life he had once led, but there was something satisfying about it. His social interactions were limited as well as they consisted of the short interactions with customers, coworkers, and the snarky exchanges with Stark. Hardly a healthy social life but it was about what he expected. The library of Midguard literature he was collecting in his apartment was the only thing waiting for him at home, so normally there was no rush to get there.
Tonight was different though. Cassandra had only just left the Lucky Horshoe on foot, as she hadn't bothered to hail a cab outside. Even if she was using the subway, the closest station was a five block walk itself and it was much too cold tonight for her to be walking without the coat she had given to the woman, whom Loki had discovered her name was Ellen Chambers. If he hurried, he'd be able to catch up with her and give her his own coat as even the cold of a New York winter could not compare to the cold of Jotunheim.
And it was also the perfect excuse to strike up a conversation with her which he had been aching to do. Loki wasn't sure what it was, but though they had only exchanged a few words at the soup kitchen, there was something about her that was drawing him to her. More than once, he had wondered if this was how Thor had felt when he had met Jane. He had even caught himself wishing he could discuss the matter with his brother, much like they had shared things when they were younger.
But that wasn't the type of relationship they had these days and most likely would never share again.
Once again though, he pushed all thoughts of his brother out of his mind, as he grabbed his coat from his locker and left the employee lounge. Hurrying out a side entrance of the bar, Loki hurried up the alley to the main street, his boots leaving prints in the light dusting of fresh snow that was falling. Reaching the street, he took a left to follow Cassandra. He had only gone a few hurried steps when he spotted her up ahead, head bowed against the icy wind that blew. Even though she was walking at a brisk place, it didn't take long for Loki's long strides to close the distance between them.
"It's a bit cold to be out here without a coat, don't you think," Loki said easily as he slipped his coat over Cassandra's shoulders as he fell instep beside her.
Instinctively uncrossing her arms, and reaching up to pull the coat closed around her, Cassandra glanced over at her benefactor. She instantly recognized him from both their volunteer work and as the bartender who had helped out the same family she had.
"Well, someone needed my coat more than I did, especially as I have others at home," Cassandra replied.
"None of which are doing you any good right now," Loki commented.
"True enough," Cassandra admitted. "Still, it's a bit hard to complain about one cold walk home knowing that Ellen will be a bit warmer tonight. Speaking of which, you sure you don't want your coat back. I've at least got a hat and gloves on," she commented, looking over at Loki.
Loki shook his head. "You keep it for now. The cold doesn't really bother me."
Cassandra wasn't really sure if she believed him or not, but was thankful for the coat now around her shoulders. "Well, thank-you," she said in acceptance of the gift of warmth. Though her walk home wouldn't take her more than twenty minutes, she still much rather make that walk with a coat than without. "You're not going out of your way by walking me home are you?" Cassandra asked. She had noticed that part of their walks coincided when leaving the soup kitchen though she didn't know exactly where her fellow volunteer lived.
"A bit," Loki admitted. "But it's not a problem. There's nothing pressing at home that I need to get to and the current company is pleasant."
Despite the cold night, Cassandra felt the heat rise in her cheeks at the simple praise. Hoping that the reaction would go unnoticed by her companion, she looked straight ahead as the snowflakes continued to drift down around them. "So I told you my reason behind helping Ellen and her family. It seems only right that you tell me yours in return," she commented, just trying to strike up a conversation.
"It wasn't anything special. I'm sure quite a few people would have done the same thing in my position," Loki said, trying to make light of it.
"Perhaps, and yet you were the first one to offer to pay for their meal, even though your boss didn't appear willing to help out."
"Well, he does have a business to run, which is understandably his first priority."
"He's a business owner. That means he's in more of a position to help people out than most but he didn't and you did."
"Maybe he doesn't feel like he's got anything in his past that he needs to make atonement for."
"And you do?"
"There is plenty in my past that I need to make atonement for," Loki replied, his voice taking on a grave tone though he did not intend to give away his feelings in such a matter. "So much that I doubt I will ever be able to accomplish the task."
Cassandra looked over at her walking companion trying to read in his expression what he wasn't saying. However, though his voice had changed tone, her companion's face was void of emotion. She found herself wondering what kind of past her fellow volunteer was running from. What had he been doing before he had walked into the soup kitchen she had been volunteering at since high school? Not that any of them weren't thankful for his help. Giving the constant, seemingly never ending need of resources, the regulars at the soup kitchen were thankful for any help that came their way and for whatever reason.
"Well, my older brother use to say that 'even if you can't make up for the past, the thing that's really important is what you do with today and all the days after'," Cassandra replied, a wistful tone of her own. She missed her brother more than she could ever put into words.
"Sounds like very good advice," Loki replied.
"What about you? Any family?"
"I have an adopted brother, though he doesn't live anywhere around here and our relationship is a bit complicated."
Cassandra laughed lightly. "That's the way with most siblings," she said. "Given the way we fought growing up, you wouldn't think my brothers and I would want anything to do with each other when we grew up. Turns out, we were the best of friends."
"Were?"
"My older brother was a cop for the city. He was killed a few years ago during the alien invasion."
"I'm sorry," Loki replied, feeling as if he was watching Asgard crumble before his eyes once again. Though she didn't realize who he was now, Loki had no doubt that when she did, even the simple offer of a coat during the snow would be rebuked.
"Thank-you," Cassandra replied, almost by reflex, though she was past the deep pain of her older brother's death. Yes, she still missed him but he had died doing the job he had come to love. Despite the heart ache he had caused their parents growing up, she knew they would have been proud of him. "It's starting to seem like it all happened a long time ago, now though, even though I know it's only been a few years. I will admit though, this time of year the loss gets a bit more real, giving that we always spent the holidays together. My younger brother and I still carry on the tradition but it isn't quite the same," Cassandra paused there, blushing as she realized what she was saying to someone that she barely knew. Still there was something about her companion that made him seem easy to talk to.
"I'm sorry. That's probably more information than you really wanted."
"It's fine," Loki assured her. "I am the one who brought it up, and if it helps to talk about him then I'm willing to listen. Don't you know that's one of the criteria of a bartender - lend a listening ear to your customers."
Cassandra let out a small laugh at that. "Then that must be one part of your job that you're good at. Do you enjoy what you do?" she asked, deciding to steer the conversation away from the awkward feeling topic it had come to.
Loki opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out as he realized he wasn't sure what to say. It was a question he had never been asked before, having grown up with expectations, perceived or real, heaped upon his shoulder. Life wasn't about doing what you enjoyed but what was expected of you or, once his stubborn and jealous streaks had awakened, what he thought was necessary. He had never once in his life stopped to reflect whether he enjoyed what he was doing.
Had he enjoyed trying to disrupt Thor's coronation and create chaos on Asgard? No, but he had felt it was the only way he could escape the shadow that Thor cast upon them in their father's eyes, but he hadn't even accomplished that. Had he enjoyed controlling minds with the tesseract? If he was honest with himself, he hadn't though it had given him a sense of power. The same sense of power he had felt leading the Chitauri army. Still, there hadn't been any joy, just a unfulfilled need to do something to make a name for himself separate from Thor. He had certainly accomplished that, but he wasn't sure it was the name he truly had wanted, not that his pride would ever allow him to admit that.
"I didn't realize it was such a hard question?"
Cassandra's voice had a slight lilt to it, as her question drew Loki from his thoughts, making him realize that the pause had gone on long enough to be quite noticeable.
"It probably shouldn't be," Loki admitted, a small smile gracing his lips as he looked toward his companion. "However, it's something that I never really stopped to consider before. When I took it, I was simply looking for a job so I could stay here in New York. I would have taken just about any job offered to me."
"And now?" Cassandra asked, her gaze meeting his with a frankness that Loki had experienced in a long time.
Loki turned his eyes forward as they continued down the city street. "Now, I do believe I'd miss working at the Lucky Horshoe if it wasn't a regular part of my life. My co-workers have accepted me, even if we're not close, and I enjoy the interactions with my customers. I'd like to even think that I'm helping them out by offering a listening ear or a bit of advice when needed."
Cassandra nodded. "It's always more pleasant when you job gives you some kind of fulfillment." She was quiet for a few moments as she took in their surroundings. "My apartment building is just up here on the left," she commented, surprised at how quickly the walk had seem to go with having someone to talk to.
The two walked in silence, until they reached the steps of her apartment building. Cassandra went up a couple before turning to look back at her companion, the extra height allowing her to meet Loki's gaze without looking up. "Thanks for the loan of the coat," she told him as she slipped out of it, and handed it back to him.
"You're welcome," Loki replied, actually feeling the emotion those two words were suppose to convey rather than just speaking them as a courtesy. Reaching out he took the coat from her. Part of him wanted to ask her out for dinner or something, as he felt a longing to get to know her better but he held back. What chance would he have of her actually accepting an invitation from him. He didn't hold any special status here on Earth like he did on Asgard, except maybe war criminal from those who realized exactly who he was. Perhaps it was just best to let things stay as they were between them, especially considering her brother.
"I should probably head in," Cassandra said, when Loki said nothing else. "Goodnight," she added, as she started slowly up the steps of her apartment building.
"Goodnight," Loki replied, as he stood at the foot of the steps, slipping an arm into his coat. "Perhaps we could share another walk the next time we're both at the soup kitchen," he suggested, unable to let go of the feeling that he needed to see her again.
"I'd like that," Cassandra replied, a smile lighting up her face as she reached the front door of her apartment building. Pulling out her key card to gain entrance to the building, she gave a final wave toward Loki before disappearing inside.
Zipping up his coat, Loki stood staring at the door that Cassandra had disappeared through trying to figure out the emotions that were swirling inside him.