xoxo

4. One's Impulsive Behaviour

Seeing Dumbledore with a wide but worried smile, swishing indigo robes, and those knowing eyes, well it brought back so many memories from Hogwarts, Sirius was overwhelmed. He felt a spark of nostalgia building up inside him; a wistful yearning for a past that was softer and easier and so much simpler. Seeing Dumbledore made him feel, if possible, even angrier at Peter than he had felt before Time-Turner-Sirius burst his happy bubble and told him the reality.

Sirius breathed in deeply. 'Professor,' he said politely.

'Sirius! What have I said to you—?'

'Sorry Albus; old habits die hard.' He interrupted a little tiredly. Whether Professor Dumbledore noticed, he seemed to ignore it and instead chuckled softly. He moved out of the way so Sirius could hurry into the house. Even though it was October, the air was chilly and his hands were already painfully cold. There were fires roaring throughout the house, and he relished the Potter smell that welcomed him. Well it was sort of his smell too; he had lived with James for almost three years.

It felt like he was home. Sirius gracefully meandered the corridors of the house to his favourite room, a room that held some of his dearest memories. The lounge. It had an enormous fireplace with a handsome fire brewing. The sofas were leather and dark, and the windows wide, overlooking the extravagant garden.

Dumbledore was a few steps behind, copying Sirius when he sat down. The silence was filled with a pregnant pause that had the much younger man reeling.

Sirius chewed his nails in anticipation whilst his former Headmaster continued to look him up and down with that calculating gaze. A gaze that was notorious for worming its way into a student's mind and understanding who the menace was for a prank or a crime. And from Hogwarts 1971 to 1978, the menaces more often than not, tended to be a Marauder or two.

'Drink?' asked Dumbledore.

Sirius dropped his hand from his mouth and this time he was trying to determine what Dumbledore's motive for being here was. 'Why are you here Professor?'

The old man laughed heartedly and opened his hands in an almost embracing manner. Sirius gulped. Did the old man know what had happened not two hours ago in Diagon Alley?

'I am here, Sirius, to speak to Lily and James.'

'Where are they?'

And the reply was in a quiet and almost playful tone, 'Why Sirius? Are you nervous to be alone with me?'

This time Sirius did reel; he truly felt like his whole cover was blown. Dumbledore had to come and ruin everything. He would tell Sirius to suggest Peter as the future meant it to be, and Sirius would refuse, and the Headmaster would make him. Telling him how a future without his best friends was what God and the greater powers had intended to happen. And Sirius would do something rash, and then everything would mess up.

But he'd always had a way with words, a gift he had inherited from his Mother. His words could break someone's heart gently, get into a girl's knickers, or they could persuade even strict and severe teachers like McGonagall to let him off. Lying to a Headmaster from the UK's best wizarding school should be easy. Should be. He jutted his chin up defiantly and smiled at Dumbledore.

'Only nervous that they might not want to use me as a secret keeper.'

'Oh but they will. After all Sirius; you are the master of fidelity.'

Was that sarcasm? Or an actual compliment? Sirius gritted his teeth and suddenly felt very annoyed at his old Professor. 'May I ask you a question?' And the old man again, opened his hands in what he thought a comforting gesture. 'If you had the chance to save lives, regardless of whose lives they are, would you do it? Would you save those lives?'

Dumbledore paused briefly, and the pause did not go unnoticed by the observant and attentive Sirius. Then the old man nodded after what seemed like an age.

'What if the lives belonged to your friend? Your best, best friend?' His voice broke because of the overwhelming sadness he felt, sadness that he had been trying to keep under lock since he was told about Peter. It was hard. His eyes deceived him and watered.

A somewhat similar look flickered over the face of perhaps England's most powerful man. It was a sad and heartbroken expression and when Dumbledore spoke, it was a voice not of his own.

'Of course.'

'Then why are you making things difficult for me? I don't want to hurt them. They're my friends. But if I tell you, then I'll end up hurting them; killing them even. And that would kill me.' Sirius whispered as the room filled with crying from upstairs which told him that the Potters as a matter of fact were at home.

Urgently, he turned to face Dumbledore. 'I can't do this to my friends.' Now there were loud footsteps, thundering down the grand staircase. Sirius could hear James's joyous laugh, and Lily's tinkering chuckle. 'This is my chance at redemption; I don't want it to become my fall.'

The old Headmaster leaned forward with his old and aged hands clasped on his knee and moisture in his eyes. 'I know about the Time Turner, Sirius—'

'Sirius!' James cried cheerfully, hurrying forward to embrace his friend who he had only seen yesterday. But the way he managed to actually lift Sirius in the air betrayed the tender love James Potter felt for his friend. 'When did you come?' He said as he set Sirius down, poking him in the arm and grinning at his friend's half-hearted scowl.

'Just now,' Sirius replied quickly, 'I wanted to give my favourite nephew slash godson his Halloween present.'

Lily stepped closer to Sirius and kissed his cheek. Her eyes were knowing whenever she looked into his and he smiled at her. Not with his mouth, but with his eyes. And only Lily had ever been able to understand one of those looks; short as their four year friendship was, they had grown so close. And he wouldn't risk their friendship for the world.

'Who gives Halloween presents?' She asked.

Sirius laughed and kissed her cheek back, tauntingly kissing the skin very close to the corner of her mouth to infuriate James. It worked. 'Someone who has too much money and not a clue what to spend it on.'

'Aah,' interrupted the Headmaster. 'I know what you mean Sirius, but whereas you indulge your friends with gifts, I buy books. And socks.'

James and Lily grinned but Sirius looked him in the eye with a furious expression. He turned back to Lily who was cradling Harry. His godson giggled at him and opened his short and chubby arms. Sirius lifted Harry into the air and gave him a big sloppy kiss on his cheek, laughing when Harry tried to return it but blew bubbles everywhere instead, especially a large one that landed on his own face.

With his other hand he conjured his satchel and pulled out the Halloween costume he had gotten for Harry. 'How d'you like your costume?' The mini Prongs squealed with happiness. 'Jamie,' Sirius mock whispered, turning to meet his friend's hazel eyes, 'I think he likes it.'

xo

Dumbledore had left after some time, when they had all drank some tea, and eaten some biscuits and James had tried to put Harry in the pumpkin costume. Sirius was relieved to see him go until the old man told him to visit in the morning.

'I'm sure we need to talk, and I trust you remember where my office is.' The clever man with the sweeping robes muttered softly. Then he closed the door behind him. Sirius leant against it, breathing in slightly hysterically; like the first time he rode his bike, or when he packed his trunk at home and barged past his parents to the front door.

That damn Headmaster was going to ruin everything. But not if Sirius set the future his future self begged him to do. He didn't want to become like that. Drowning in his bitter sorrow and letting the whole issue take over his life. This mission was riding on him more than ever. He had to save his friends, or die trying. Right?

He slowly and steadily walked to the kitchen, where Lily and James were.

'Prongs,' he said softly.

Make sure they notice nothing is up, be the Sirius they know, the Sirius they love.

'Padfoot?'

'I want to be your secret keeper.'

He was answered with a silence. It was a deafening silence, one that rung through the house and assaulted every sense of Sirius's body.

The silence followed them into the lounge where they sat before the burning fire. James and Lily were happy, they wouldn't lie, they were so grateful. But at the same time, they were sad. So sad. When the red-haired Mother left to change Harry's nappy it was just the two friends left. The two best friends.

Sirius watched his friend besides him, his hazel eyes boring into the golden flames and the clogs in his brain furiously thinking up a solution, something to save the other man. Sirius didn't need to be psychic to know what James was thinking.

'Don't you dare James,' he whispered vehemently. 'Don't you dare try and talk me out of this.'

'I'm ... why can't I be the secret keeper? For my own family?'

'Because James, you need to be protected too—'

'I'm not some little girl!' He cried angrily. His hazel eyes were smouldering, and his skin was red. He looked angry, no, he looked livid. And for a moment, Sirius was a little scared.

'No one's calling you a little girl. But how would it help if you were killed? How would it do anything for the Greater Good?'

James started shaking his head angrily. 'I don't want to lose you—'

Sirius finally understood. His dear friend wasn't upset because everyone assumed he couldn't protect his family. His friend was sad because of the danger it put him in. And he was touched. He really was.

'Out of anyone who could become your secret keeper, I would be the best choice. Who cares if I die? I'm not important compared to the thousands of witches and wizards that would be saved. Don't worry about me James, don't worry about one man.'

Prongs buried his face in his hands and moaned in grief. 'If they get you—'

'I won't be caught Prongs.'

'They'll torture you—'

'I won't give in.'

'They'll kill you—'

'Death is but the next great adventure.' A quote from Dumbledore, if he was correct.

'Exactly! You're not taking this seriously! And I can't have my best friend, my brother, dying because of his rash, stupid personality! Sirius, you thrive in battles and I don't want to be the reason you die. I love you so much man! I can't agree ... I can't agree to this.'

'James look at me,' he ordered. James didn't look at him. He grabbed his friend's face forcefully and met the scared eyes. 'I'll come back, I promise. If they catch me, I'll escape. If they torture me, I'll hold on to my mind. And if I die ... well you'll be stuck with me then because my ghost will forever haunt the Potter Manor.'

James made a noise that seemed half way between a laugh and a sniffle. A watery chuckle, Sirius called it. He hugged his friend for a long moment.

He had to come back. And even if he didn't, his friends would be alive and that was all that mattered, right?

'What are you two doing?' Lily chirped from the doorway.

'Your idiot of a husband doesn't want me to be secret keeper,' and the smile on Lily's face fell. She dropped her head, a little embarrassed.

'This isn't something to decide gently Sirius.' Her tone was miserable. She sat on the other side of him on the soft, plush leather. Then she took his hand and her emerald eyes met his melancholy grey ones. 'You're rushing into it—'

'I'm not. I've had a few days to think Lily, and I'm ready. Let's do this.'

xo

Sirius had decided to go home after Lily's delicious lasagne. She couldn't cook anything but about three meals, including lasagne, but they were damn good. In fact he often went over to the Potters for dinner. Living alone, and having such a busy schedule didn't allow him to indulge in small things like cooking dinner. And in his rather large and spacious flat, no one was ever waiting for him with dinner in the oven and kisses.

She was gone. Eight months gone. And he didn't even miss her anymore. A lie. He missed her like a drowning person missed oxygen.

Sitting on his bed and looking out at the waning gibbous, Sirius thought of everything that had happened that day. Visited from ten days in the future (what was happening over there now he didn't know), an argument with Dumbledore and even a small argument with the Potters, persuading them to use him as secret keeper.

Was this his Father and brother, from beyond the grave? Punishing him for all the good he had done. Because Blacks weren't supposed to be good, they were supposed to be bad. Very, very bad. Well he didn't want to be like Narcissa and Bellatrix. He wanted to be good. He was good. Well he was a little good. His Mother use to say he was grey eyes because he was a mixture of dark and light; too light to be a Slytherin but too dark to be a Gryffindor. And that was true. Because if James and Remus and Peter – scrap Peter – if the other two Marauders hadn't accepted him then maybe no one would have had the guts to do so. They often said he was an antihero. He tried to do good by using bad, and doing bad.

The least he could do for his friends was risk his life trying to save them. And he would do that. Sirius was a brave person; otherwise he wouldn't have been put in Gryffindor, but maybe Ravenclaw for his intelligence.

He wasn't scared of death; he was just scared of losing his most precious ones to death. He wasn't afraid of pain, for his threshold was intolerably high. And he liked games, most obviously hide and seek. Which meant the reason for his insomnia was the meeting tomorrow with Dumbledore. He shivered a little.

What if the old man made him change the minds of Lily and James? Then he would be as much a murderer to them as Voldemort. The Headmaster would go on about 'Changing the course of history is a dangerous path indeed!' or maybe 'You cannot alter the future! You cannot play God!' and in the end, either Sirius would agree ... or run away; something he was very good at when responsibilities became too much to bear.

He ran a hand over his face. It was almost half two now, and if he were to meet Dumbledore at half ten, then he needed to go to sleep now. He had already sent an owl to Moody, telling him why he wouldn't be there for Auror duties in the morning. Knowing Moody, if Sirius hadn't warned him, he'd send the whole Auror department looking for the handsome Black, because he never missed a day. He was late, yes. Sometimes over an hour late, but he had never, ever, ever missed a day.

Sirius put his head down on the pillow, and before he knew it, his alarm went off. He felt like a zombie, wandering around the kitchen and making a sandwich which tasted a lot like cardboard. He changed into some lighter clothes rather than his usual black and grey. He wore a green sweater which Rose had bought him, and a red and gold scarf that represented Gryffindor. He was, after all going back to visit his first real home.

He pocketed his wand and closed the door to his flat. When he got outside, he hurried behind the block of flats and waved his wand, his motorbike flickering into view. Remus had been so kind as to retrieve it and put it back safely, setting all of the necessary spells.

How Sirius had ever suspected Remus as the traitor? It would be something that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

His motorbike roared to life; like a hungry lion. It took over two hours to get to Hogwarts, even when he drove at its fastest speed. He dodged the birds, and shivered when he flew through clouds. But finally, after following the train tracks that led straight to Hogsmeade, he could see the almighty and breathtaking castle. With its turrets and towers and the enormous dark Forbidden Forest, Sirius shivered. It really did feel like he was at home.

Landing rather gently on the ground, he continued to drive through the Hogwarts grounds, past the Whomping Willow that tried to take out his eyes with a rather agile and thin branch, and past the enormous pumpkins that reminded Sirius of the costume he had gotten Harry. Then McGonagall came jogging up to him with a rather annoyed expression on her face. He pressed on the brakes.

'What have I said about riding that wretched bike—?'

He almost grinned. He was home. 'Sorry Professor, I must have forgotten.' In truth he had not forgotten, but had instead opted to ignore the angry frenzy McGonagall had gotten in when a year ago, James and him had arrived on his motorbike and crashed into the Herbology greenhouses. Sirius still had the scars to prove it.

'Next time Sirius Black, if I see you with that wretched bike...' and he didn't need to finish the sentence. After a moment of calming herself, McGonagall's expression softened. 'How are you Black?' she asked.

He smiled at her. 'I'm alright Professor; I came at a request from Dumbledore. How's Hogwarts treating you without us Marauders here?'

She laughed, and it made her look considerably younger. 'It's been a terrific few years without you lot, yes. Well, hurry up then, Albus won't wait all day. The password is Cauldron Cakes!'

He grinned at her and got off his motorbike and walked it to the high steps, with a crowd forming outside. You'd think they had never seen a motorbike, but then Sirius remembered that the most of the students probably hadn't seen one!

A motorbike was after all a Muggle contraption. He smugly beamed at the children and winked at a few particularly attractive girls. He laughed, feeling like such a pervert. He was what, six or seven years older?

'It's Sirius Black!' he could hear some of them say. And one to always soak up the attention, he decided to park his bike just a few metres from the steps, to the left where no one would wander into it but would still be able to admire it. He waved his wand to make sure no one but him (and the Marauders of course) could fly and drive it and then sprung up to the steps.

The students parted in the middle to let him through, and he ran a hand through his hair whilst walking. On his little expedition to Dumbledore's office he saw Hagrid, whom he chatted with eagerly. He also saw Filch who, upon recognising Sirius, looked like he had just seen the dead.

'Alright Filch?' he called, and when the man ran screaming, pulling at his hair, Sirius dissolved into laughter, alongside many students who had been lurking nearby.

His footsteps, as he neared the sacred office, grew slower and more reluctant. But when he reached the gargoyle, the enormous and protective gargoyle, he knew that his procrastinating had finally come to an end.

'Cauldron Cakes,' Sirius said sadly. The gargoyle was lazy, but after maybe a minute, huffed and moved aside. Sirius stood on the first step and waited patiently as the staircase rose closer to the oak door. When he was less than an inch from it, he reluctantly knocked.

'Come in Sirius,' he old voice called out. Sirius opened the door to the office, taken aback by its beauty. The last time he had been here was in his seventh year. Dumbledore had invited a few students, including all the Marauders, Lily, two Hufflepuffs and one Ravenclaw to join the Order of the Phoenix.

He looked around the office. It hadn't changed a bit. The portraits were in the same format, hung on the walls. The instruments on tables scattered around the office were the same, and there were the same books sitting on shelves. Even Fawkes's pedestal was in the same place.

Sirius took a deep breath and met the Headmaster's piercing blue eyes. 'Good evening,' he said in a somewhat polite tone. He was greeted with a smile.

'Good evening Sirius. Sit, sit, please ... tea, coffee?'

Sirius sat down, and nodded. 'Coffee, black, one sugar.' He said curtly, curter then he intended. He watched as Dumbledore made his coffee and then handed it to him. Sirius drained it. He was suddenly ravenous. His coffee was refilled magically.

'I trust you got here safely?'

'Safely yes. But McGonagall wasn't very happy.'

Dumbledore nodded with a playful sad look on his face. 'Yes, yes,' he said gravely. 'She has always hated Muggle contraptions, especially transport. I think it's because she once saw a cat being run over by a bus.'

Sirius snorted. He didn't mind cats, but they were dead annoying when in his Animagus form. And it was no secret that McGonagall was a cat when in her form. She showed it to every class. It must have been seeing her transform that led to the idea to become Animagus for Remus.

'That explains a lot,' he said, setting down his coffee. 'Well as lovely as this chitchat is Professor, I've got to go to James's later and talk about the Fidelius Charm. So if we could hurry up to where this conversation is going...'

Dumbledore sighed and leant back in his chair. He surveyed Sirius. His blue eyes scrutinised the sweater, the elegant and yet messy hair, the bags under his eyes, and the sadness hidden inside. He scrutinised the very handsome face, the very sad face.

'Yes.' The Headmaster said. He waved his wand and dark velvet curtains started covering a significant amount of portraits, but left a few. 'The ones that gossip and the ones I trust...' Dumbledore informed him.

'Aah,' Sirius said softly. His great grandfather's portrait was covered and he laughed. 'Phineas, good choice.' And he almost didn't feel annoyed at Dumbledore. Almost.

'Sirius, I need you to understand the amount of trouble you could get for meddling in the future or—'

'Wait, you think I used the time turner?' In answer, Headmaster Dumbledore nodded. Sirius fervently shook his head. 'It wasn't me Professor, I promise. Well it was me, but a future me.'

The aged man tilted his head. 'What did future-Sirius want?'

Sirius bit his lip, not knowing what to say. But of course, Dumbledore could see through lies like Sirius could look past someone's family.

'I don't want to tell you.' He replied after some time. And the Headmaster was taken back by the truthfulness of Sirius's confession.

'Why don't you want to tell me?' He said very quietly.

Sirius opened his mouth and then closed it. How many times had he been called impulsive, reckless, rash, wild and all those other adjectives that seemed too poor at times to describe who he really was? He needed to think about what to say without giving Dumbledore insight on what his future self had said and done?

It would change the future, but for the Greater Good. 'Remember Professor, yesterday, I asked you what you would do if your friend's life was threatened. Would you try and make sure they survived?'

Dumbledore nodded after a sombre silence, and the younger man to continue.

'If some of the most important people were in danger and there was something you could do. Be it friends or family. But to me, my friends are my family. And by telling you I'm jeopardising them.'

The Headmaster sat still for a moment, with his eyes half closed as he pondered. Sirius had a feeling that the old man was trying to think of something to say that would both persuade and comfort him.

Finally the ancient mouth opened, and that soothing voice came out. 'A Time Turner is a very complex instrument.' He said. He paused, clasping his hands together and looking down at them. 'Even ... even by going back in time one day and saying hello to a stranger could you potentially change the course of history. Whether I allow you to do what you have been told to do, or whether I don't, time has changed. I cannot prevent your choices. Perhaps if I stop you from changing time, the same instrument that your future self used would appear in your flat, and you would go back in time, stopping me from dissuading you.'

Sirius felt a spark of hope rouse inside him. Surely Professor Dumbledore wasn't going to let him off? Surely he was imagining things?

'And I can't take away your free will. Had I been able too, the Death Eaters who had passed through Hogwarts during my reign wouldn't be Death Eaters. I'm not one to dictate the future. I am only one man, who, when is given power, becomes frenzied with it.'

'Professor?'

'Sirius, do you know much about my past? Before I became a teacher in Hogwarts?'

The handsome young man thought for a moment, and with a jolt, realised he knew virtually nothing about Dumbledore's life. Not what he did before the magical boarding school, not even if he had any siblings apart from Aberforth. And yet since Sirius was four, he had been taught all of the prestigious and rich families.

He shook his head. 'No I don't, surprisingly, given my Mother's insistence that I learn all about the honourable families.'

'Why do you assume I'm from an honourable background?'

Sirius scoffed, almost thinking the old man was joking. 'You're Dumbledore.'

'I was not like you Sirius. I was raised in a mediocre family, with average money, and average talent. I worked hard, I became very clever. I tried hard and soon, I passed Hogwarts with flying colours, much like you. I became friends with a ... bad influence. I was soon intoxicated with the idea of power, and after losing myself in one terrible situation I- ... I never trusted myself with supremacy again. And so I opted to teach, I was maybe in my thirties when I got the Transfiguration position. I liked the idea of teaching you see.'

Sirius was shocked, disbelieving too, but incredibly shocked. If ever someone told him that Dumbledore could become a psychotic dictator he wouldn't believe them. But people always said the great were destined for power.

'That's why you've turned down the position for Minister twice.' He said, with resounding realisation. 'But—'

'I'm not like you Sirius. I never grew up surrounded by power. Your family are one of the seven originals from London, the greatest magical capital of Europe. Your family are also one of the wealthiest, and hold such prestige. You don't find power interesting. Which is why you would be suited well for it.'

Sirius almost laughed. 'Me? Yeah right Professor. Remus says on the best of days, my maturity matches that of a nine year old. On the best days.'

'Oh but you would! Money doesn't interest you, nor does a good family name or an impeccable reputation.'

'How does this have anything to do with the Time Turner?' Sirius huffed in answer.

'I have never used a Time Turner, though I have been in the presence one too many times. I have never used one because I don't want to tempt myself, tempt myself to turn back time and wrong all my rights. But you Sirius, you are unique and very special. You wouldn't stop your past self from telling Mr Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow. You wouldn't even use it to save Regulus. The only thing you would use it for is to save the future!'

He was right, it was all true. He wouldn't right anything in his life that had gone brutally wrong. Only the things that would save time ahead.

The future Sirius wouldn't have gone back in time if he didn't think that a dead Lily and James would be bad for the Wizarding World. He nodded almost subconsciously.

'Now, I would appreciate if you told me what you were ordered to do please,' said the Headmaster after a pause.

His voice had a croaky quality but after a few moments, it sunk into its natural husky tone. 'I was getting off my bike, somewhere near Diagon Alley. And he was sitting in the shadows. He looked horrible, like he hadn't slept in a while. He had horrible bags, and he almost cried several times. He was so sad Professor, so very sad. It made me sad.

'I knew it was me, I just knew. But I asked him questions that no one could possibly know the answer too. Professor, he was terrified. He told me about the future, what was to come if I persuaded James and Lily to use Peter as a secret keeper instead of me—'

'Aah,' said Dumbledore. It was in such an understanding tone that Sirius didn't feel as guilty anymore. 'Brilliant plan, absolutely brilliant. No one ever thinks of Peter. No one would think James and Lily would use him rather than you.'

'But that's the problem Professor. You've been suspecting a traitor amongst us for quite some time now, and all of our names have flickered through your brilliant mind. Except Peter! He's the traitor Professor; he's the spy for the Dark Lord's side!'

Dumbledore leant back with a startled and disbelieving expression, gently shaking his head. He looked Sirius in the eyes. 'Impossible, Peter—' he whispered, but was interrupted urgently by Sirius's frustrated and angry voice.

'I'm pretty sure I haven't seen him wear short sleeved tops or anything that would show his forearms for over a year now. In the last two months I've seen him a dozen times and generally just in passing. He isn't the Peter I knew, he's become something else. And it's because of this different Peter that two of my best friends are going to die.'

It was a lot of information for Dumbledore to take in, who now buried his face in his hands, a gentle and incoherent muttering escaping his mouth. After what seemed an hour, but in reality only a few minutes, he looked up with such sadness in his eyes.

'Thank you for your patience Sirius, please continue.'

Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times, but after finding the right words to say he spoke with a grave voice. 'My future self informed me that Peter told Voldemort barely a week after the Fidelius Charm was cast; on Halloween. He begged me to change the future, he begged so hard. And he told me not to tell anyone because he wanted to be the one to get Peter, not the Order.'

'And it is because your brash and future self has asked you not to tell any of us immediately that has worried me. You know yourself Sirius; you know what you might do. Perhaps you might kill him, or maybe torture him. I am worried—'

'I know he's my friend. But are you telling me he deserves respect and that he doesn't deserve everything I'm going to give him?'

'Sirius, I am saying he deserves the benefit of the doubt.'

The young handsome man sunk back in his chair. 'It's all my fault Professor. He told me that he was the one who begged James to change the secret keeper to Peter. I had been pondering for a few days on the idea myself and if I wasn't warned then today I would've ...' he made a disgusted grunt in the back of his throat. The thought. The horrible thought of what might have happened had he not been forewarned. Could it really be that the fates of his best friends were his responsibility?

'I'm not going to agree Professor with anything you have to say! I'm doing what I was told; I'm doing what's right!' He suddenly cried indignantly. Sirius couldn't stand the idea of his friend turned spy roaming around with a carefree grin on his face. 'I'm not going to ... to do anything to him. I just don't want him running around free.'

'We'll get justice Sirius. But I need something from you first—'

'I haven't got it.' He said shortly.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, confused and shocked at the curt tone he was greeted with. 'You don't even know what I was going to ask.'

'You were going to ask whether I had the Time Turner. But I don't have it. And even if I did Professor I would not give it to you.'

'Why wouldn't you give it to me?' the patient voice asked.

Sirius sighed exasperatedly. 'You know why Professor. I don't trust you. I don't trust what you could do with it.'

Then the old headmaster started laughing heartedly. 'Oh Sirius, and it is precisely for that reason that you should be the carer of the Time Turner. But no, I was going to ask you to not tell anyone of this! Not James, not Lily, not even Remus.' Sirius frowned and Dumbledore nodded sternly. 'Yes, I said Remus. If anyone were to know then word would get to Voldemort and the Potters would be destroyed.'

Sirius almost cried in distress. 'No, I won't tell a soul Professor, I promise.' He vehemently shook his head. 'I would do anything to protect them.'

'I know Sirius, I know.'

There was an almost comfortable silence now, as Sirius visualised in horror what could happen if he ever told anyone.

'You can't however, jump into the decision to be the secret keeper just because of what you've been told—'

'But I haven't jumped into the decision Professor. I was going to be their secret keeper before I volunteered Peter. This isn't only a way of redemption; this is me doing what I was supposed to do. This is me protecting my friends, the most important people in the world to me. You were right, if I didn't honestly think a world with James and Lily would be better than one without them, then I might have accepted fate. But I just know that we need them. We can't win this war without them.'

'I agree Sirius, I agree my dear friend.'

'You know ... I was shocked when I heard that Harry survived. How could Voldemort kill James and Lily but not Harry? My future self didn't really explain.'

Dumbledore's expression changed to that of a person who was shocked. He looked both pleasantly surprised and also very angry.

'You don't know? He didn't tell you?' the voice hissed urgently.

Sirius was a little baffled, but quickly shook his head. 'No, he didn't say. He had a lot on his mind.'

'Are you sure? He didn't say why he survived? Or what happened?'

'All I know Professor, is that on Halloween he killed James who was unarmed and trying to buy Lily some time. Voldemort followed Lily up the stairs after she had fled with Harry. He killed her after.'

'How do you know James was unarmed?'

'The future-me saw his wand was on the sofa, abandoned.' Sirius whispered sombrely.

Dumbledore sighed. He clasped his hands and looked at Sirius. 'I'm very proud of you Sirius. I'm very proud indeed. When one has the chance to redo everything wrong in their lives, you chose to do what was right. You chose to save your friends, the future, rather than your own life. And now you have come to right what was wronged. Risking your life whole heartedly. I'm proud to have known you.'

Sirius almost blushed at the sincere tone of his Headmaster's voice. 'Thank you Professor. But you say it as though I'm going to die.'

'You're ... you're a grown man Sirius, I'm not going to lie to you. It's incredibly serious, and incredibly dangerous. Becoming their secret keeper will be like signing your death warrant.'

'But someone has to do it.'

'Indeed.'

A/N: This chapter was hopefully alright at showing Dumbledore's personality, I don't think he was the extremely nice type, but more the comforting type? If that makes sense ... And yes, this is the first chapter fully in the past-Sirius's perspective, as the rest of the story will be in.

I really do hope you enjoyed this chapter, and pleaseee leave a review if you haven't already, pretty please? :')

Have a good day!

-xo