AN: THANK YOU ALL! (Warning here be Jimmy)

Dean and Cas are 22 (It's April)

Apparently Cas's depression was hereditary as well as environmental, his mom was dead from apparent suicide. They only found out from the news paper and Mary calling to ask about it. Cas brought home a copy of the obituary, having got it from work, and sat down at the kitchen table staring at it blankly until Dean got home.

"Hey, babe," Dean greets, kissing Cas's temple before heading to sink to wash his hands.

Cas remains immobile, Dean watching him as he dries his hands on the towel. Crossing the room, he pears over his shoulder to read the article that simply had Rachel Novak, written on the top with date of birth and death. He continued down, not surprised to find Cas wasn't listed amongst the children, but all in all it was a basic obituary. Cautiously, he places his hand on Cas's shoulder, squeezing gently.

"You going to go?" Dean asks softly.

"I believe so," he replies gravely, placing his hand on top of Dean's.

"You don't have to."

"She gave life to me, for all her faults she was still my mother."

Dean thought sarcastically about how great a job Rachel Novak had done at being Castiel's mom, but respectfully bit his tongue. "I'll come with," He offers, giving Cas's shoulder one more comforting squeeze before sitting in the chair next to him.

"Thank you," Cas sighs, "But I need to do this alone."

Dean nods silently, "I'm there when you need," he reminds him sternly as the dark haired man just nods blankly. He watches Cas remain immobile, starring off to who knows where; he noticed that Cas was still in his jacket and that his bag was on the floor next to him. It hit Dean that Cas had been sitting there for a little over an hour, but he was just soaking it all in.

"I'm going to shower," he tells his boyfriend, pushing the hair off Cas's forehead and dropping a comforting kiss there.

After his shower, Cas is in the exact same position as he was before, smoking idly. Dean knew Cas wouldn't have much of an appetite tonight, so he poured some juice in a mug and placed it before the statuesque form; than set about making himself some dinner.

That Wednesday, Cas took off from work. Dean found him quietly munching on some cereal in the kitchen; he obviously hadn't made it to bed last night. He pours himself some coffee, watching the dealing man.

"If you need me I'll be at work."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas replies robotically.

"Love you," Dean adds, grabbing his jacket to head to work.

"You too."

Cas suites up, in a simple black suite with his only navy tie and grabs his trench coat just in case. It looked like rain all morning so it was a safe precaution, especially since they don't own an umbrella. He gets to the cemetery mid way through the service, finding a spot somewhat hidden underneath a large old oak tree as it began to drizzle. Raphael was presiding over the ceremony; he could see some relatives that he only remembered briefly.

It was a fairly nice service considering who was given it, as he scanned the crowd Cas's gaze fell upon Jimmy. His twin was holding hands with petite women with long blondish hair, who he figured was Amelia. In his musings the service came to an end, the mourners shaking Raphael's hand, Jimmy looked up and they made eye contact, Cas quickly looking away.

He turned to take his leave, cursing the fact that he had to park so far away. Carefully trudging through the headstones and pretending he didn't hear his name being called, until a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Castiel," Jimmy stopped him, Cas taking a breath and squeezing his eyes shut before turning around.

He hadn't seen Jimmy since he'd been shot, and even then that was when he was unconscious.

"You came," his twin looks at him.

Cas looks back with hard eyes as he sees the small differences that make the identical twins distinguishable. "She was my mother too."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"What do you want?" Cas glares at him, keeping up his guard.

"I know about that note," Jimmy admits awkwardly, "I've been a dick, Cassie."

"You no longer have the right to call me that," he informs his brother sternly.

Jimmy nods sadly as they're silent for a beat, Cas growing impatient.

"What did you want, James?"

He flinches at the use of his full name, "I know, we can't really be twins anymore; but I would like us to be brothers again." Jimmy pleads a little, before slipping a card with his number in Cas's pocket, "Just call sometime."

"We've always been brothers," Cas informs him dangerously, "Perhaps you've forgotten that."

Before Jimmy can even answer, Raphael appears next to him. "Everything all right here?" He asks with murderous eyes, placing a controlling hand on Jimmy's shoulder.

Cas just shakes his head and turns on his heel to storm away.

Jimmy, watching after him; he shrugs off Raphael's hand, "You don't control me anymore, Raphael!" He shouts, walking off in the opposite direction.

There is only one place Castiel wants to be right now, as the anger and adrenalin from earlier leaves him flooded with various emotions. He drives to the Shope as fast as is legally possible. Parking the car and hopping out, Dean standing at the open garage door when he heard the rumble of the engine. It had been a slow day due to the weather; Cas's coat flies around him as he jogs to the other man, not realizing that it's not just rain streaking down his face.

"Cas?" Dean wonders as he wipes his hands off on a rag, dropping it instantly as Cas collides into him in a desperate hug. "What's wrong, babe?" he holds Cas's shaking form, trying to keep their balance so they don't fall into the mud.

"Jimmy, wants to… and then Raphael…but…" He sobs incoherently, gripping Dean tightly.

"Shh… Cas, it's ok," he soothes.

"She's gone Dean, for all her faults, she's gone!" Cas looks at him wildly, "And… and..They act like she didn't do it, but they just bent our beliefs to fit their needs!"

"That's what people do," Dean tells him lamely, just trying to calm him down.

"What does God want if we can't be sure what his will really is?" He buries his face in Dean's shoulder.

Dean pulls back holding Castiel at arm's length, trying to get him to look at him as he places his hand over Cas's heart. "This," he tells him, "You follow this, you understand?" He tilts Cas's head up by his chin.

Castiel blinks a few tears away as he solemnly nods, trying to make sense of everything that just happened.

"I wish I knew why she…" he trails off.

Dean pulls him back to his chest, rubbing his back, "She was probably lonely," He whispers quietly into the other man's dark locks.

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