Long chapter to make up for the short one :-)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters or songs.

WARNING: May be triggering.

Going over the events of today in his head made Logan more tired than he was before. It was finally Saturday, the day of their concert here in LA. After arriving at the (completely awesome) stadium at around eight that morning, they had gone through a full run through of the show, additional rehearsals for more tricky numbers, had lunch with a couple of magazine contest winners, and gone through wardrobe, hair, and makeup, before they were finally permitted to relax for forty five minutes or so in their dressing room before they had to get touched up and warmed up again before the show at eight PM. Logan had immediately collapsed on the large black leather sectional, in hopes of grabbing a quick sleep before the show.

No such luck.

"Hey Logan…Hey…Logan…Hey Logan…"

"Leave him alone, Carlos…"

"I just need to ask him something!"

"It can wait, he's finally sleeping."

"But—"

"No, let him sleep. You don't have to share a room with him—when he can't sleep he just walks around the room. It's annoying. Carlos, we said leave him alone!"

Logan groaned in his head, trying to block out the too-loud whispers of his friends. They thought he was asleep. Truthfully, he had been almost asleep, but their incessant talking was keeping him up, no matter how quiet they tried to be.

"Hey! Stop shoving me, James!"

"I need to check my hair, would you move out of the way?"

"Why should I?"

"Guys! Stop. For, like, the fifth time, Logan is sleeping and if you wake him I will make the rest of your day a nightmare."

Shifting ever so slightly, Logan sniffed loudly, making his friends think he might be stirring. He almost smiled at the immediate silence he heard. He could practically see the smoke coming out of Kendall's ears and James' and Carlos' frightened faces. He resumed breathing deeply, to continue his façade of being asleep, and he heard Carlos let out a held breath.

"Sheesh, guys, our best friend can't get a nap?" Kendall muttered. "He hasn't been sleeping."

"How can he be that worried about Camille?" James murmured, making more of an effort to be quiet. "She has to get a job. She will. He doesn't need to be so concerned that he makes himself sick."

"Come on James, it's his girlfriend," Carlos reminded him. "Wouldn't you be upset if your girlfriend moved away?"

"I'd just get another girlfriend in like five minutes, so…"

"Logan doesn't sleep well in the first place," Kendall reminded him. "And when he's stressed about something he can't sleep at all. So let him sleep and shut up."

Logan almost smiled again. That was Kendall, always looking out for him. Kendall acted like he was the oldest of the group. It was really James, but since James was usually more concerned about himself about the smaller things in life, it was up to Kendall to look out for Logan and Carlos when need be.

He shifted again, just slightly. They were finally quiet. Maybe…maybe he could get a quick rest…

CRASH!

Logan's eyes flew open as something—he didn't know what—made a huge noise on the other side of the room. He quickly surveyed the room, seeing James at the vanity desk, having been redoing his hair in the mirror, and Kendall quickly going towards the crash caused by…who else…Carlos.

"Aw, Carlos," Kendall groaned. Carlos, in all his effort to be quiet, had managed to knock an entire tray of mini sandwiches that had been set up for the guys to the ground. He glanced up sheepishly, and noticed that Logan was sitting up on the couch.

"Oops, sorry, Logan…" he apologized, cowering from Kendall, who immediately looked and saw Logan awake as well.

"Sorry, man, I was trying to let you sleep," he explained. "But this…" He gestured to Carlos and then to James. "…is hard to control sometimes."

"It's fine," Logan murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. "I probably shouldn't be getting so mellow before we go onstage anyway." He yawned despite himself.

The door to the dressing room opened, and Logan instinctively checked his watch. They still had at least twenty more minutes before a stage hand would come get them for warm ups. He looked back up and felt his face break into a smile.

"Camille!" he said, surprised. "I thought you weren't coming until later. How was your audition?"

"Great!" she said, giving a tight-lipped smile that immediately told Logan that it had not gone great. "I thought I'd come see you guys before the show, is that okay?"

"Of course it is, c'mon in," Kendall gestured for her to enter and she came to sit by Logan. James by now had turned his attention back to his beaming reflection, and Carlos was attempting to clean up the mess he had made on the ground. As Kendall reached down to help him (he was really only making the mess bigger…), Logan affectionately placed his arm around Camille and she leaned her head against his shoulder. He placed a kiss on her hair and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

"Rough day?" he asked. She nodded. When she didn't elaborate, he spoke again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Camille shook her head. "No thanks," she semi-whispered. She smiled ever so slightly, turning her face to look up at him. "Today's your day. I'm really excited to see the concert—you've been working so hard lately."

Logan thought he caught a hidden meaning in that. "Tomorrow night I'm going to take you out, okay? I haven't been around much this week, with all the last-minute rehearsals and things." Camille smiled bigger at that. She reached up and put her hand on the back of his neck, pulling his lips towards hers.

Their lips had barely met before someone knocked and opened the door. "Aww, isn't that sweet?" Logan heard a voice coo as he and Camille pulled apart. There was a bright flash of a camera and Logan blinked in surprise, clearing his vision to see three people standing in the doorway, one of whom he recognized.

"Kelly, what's up?" Kendall asked, quickly stepping in front of the photographer's path. "We don't already have to be at warm-ups, do we?"

"No, you guys have plenty of time," Kelly assured him. "Gustavo and Griffin thought that since you had some free time, you wouldn't mind talking to the Tiger Beat reporters before the concert, rather than after." Kendall glanced at the rest of the group for approval.

Logan seemed like he was about to say no, but Camille grabbed the hand that was on her shoulder and squeezed it, removing his arm and scooting away. "You go ahead. I'll get to my seat and see you after the show." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before she moved quickly past the reporter and photographer. As the door was swinging shut behind her, she heard the reporter.

"So, Logan, was that your girlfriend?" Camille sighed, balling and unballing her fists.

Yup, because that's all I am and ever will be, she thought bitterly. A pop star's girlfriend. A movie star's best friend. I'll never be the one in the spotlight myself.

Security was kind enough to escort her to her place on the floor in front of the stage, because the place was already packed with screaming fans, going crazy for the opening band. Camille looked around and everywhere she saw BTR signs, shirts, everything. These people were crazy about Logan, Kendall, James, and Carlos.

And none of them knew who she was.

Well, maybe they did, but only because they had seen her standing next to Logan in a magazine picture or something like that.

Not because she meant anything to them. If anything, she was "competition" to the more extreme fans of her boyfriend. But other than that, she was literally nothing.

She cast her thoughts back to earlier that day.

"Only 108?" Camille gasped as the numbers popped up on her digital scale in her bathroom. "But...but…but it's not fair! I've been eating nothing but salads and grains and drinking water and working out! How could I only lose three pounds?" She glared at the numbers, that only blankly stared back at her, unchanging.

With an aggravated sigh, Camille got off the scale and sank to the floor of her bathroom. "There must be something else I can do…" she wondered. Out of habit, she checked her watch and sighed again. "I can't do anything now, I'll be late for the audition." Camille hauled her "fat" ass off the floor and quickly dressed for her audition, wearing her sparkly, short, pink prom dress she had bought to go to a premiere with Logan and four inch silver stiletto heels. She had done her hair in snooty looking curls piled high on her head. The look was very heiress, the part that she was reading for.

"If they see me as the character, then they won't be able to see me as anything else," Camille told herself. She told herself this before every audition. It was why she always wore costumes to her auditions, so the casting agents would only view her as the character and nothing else. Grabbing the script pages and her bag, Camille hurried from her apartment to the streets.

Once she had reached the studio where she was auditioning, her nerves started setting in. She signed in, got her number, and sat numbly in the waiting area, anxiously drinking water. Right as they started getting close to calling for her, Camille got the extreme need to pee, and hurried off to find a bathroom before she needed to be in the audition.

As she walked in the bathroom, she heard the unmistakable sound of vomiting. Stopping dead, Camille just waited, frozen, as whoever was throwing up finished and a stall door opened. "Jennifer?" Camille couldn't help saying in surprise. It was Jennifer 2, and she looked surprisingly cool for someone who had obviously been throwing up her entire stomach.

"What do you want?" she asked Camille coldly as she went to the sink and began rinsing out her mouth and then washing her hands. Camille was still shocked.

"I…I…are you okay?" Camille hated the girl, for all the things that the Jennifers had said about her, but she couldn't help her asking.

"I'm fine," Jennifer spat.

"Are you nervous?" Camille couldn't help ask. "I've never thrown up from nerves before, but I feel like I might today."

"Of course I'm not nervous," Jennifer scoffed. "I'm getting rid of lunch."

"What?"

Jennifer smirked and rolled her eyes. "Oh please. Don't tell me you don't know what purging is."

"Of course I do! Are you trying to say you…you were throwing up on purpose?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. You can eat whatever you want this way, as long as you get rid of it afterwards. No calories get to you, right?" Jennifer turned off the sink and gave Camille a once-over. "Maybe you should try it sometime, hmm?" She giggled and brushed past Camille out the door.

Camille leaned up against the sink, purely blown by what Jennifer had said. First of all…she had finally insulted Camille to her face. But second of all, she was bulimic. And she seemed proud of it.

No wonder she's so skinny, Camille realized. And she can eat whatever she wants, and stay that way.

She thought about what else Jennifer had said. "No calories get to you…" Camille repeated slowly. She couldn't even consider forcing herself to throw up. She hated throwing up and she knew she wouldn't be able to. But maybe there was another way.

Before all this had started, Camille would usually go to the gym with Stephanie twice a week to run on the treadmill for half an hour. This week, she'd been going every night for an hour long run. She had to burn…maybe four hundred calories doing that. That wasn't equivalent to what she ate during the day. So all she had to do was burn off all the calories that she ate! It was so simple she couldn't believe she was just thinking of it. This way she wasn't starving herself, she wasn't forcing herself to throw up, she was simply working out!

It was sort of a different kind of purging. A healthy way. Camille smiled, pleased with her new way.

Of course, after that, her audition had gone horribly, with her portrayal of the character's meltdown in the scene she was reading. She had gotten a bit too excited and ended up throwing the script she was holding into the eye of one of the casting agents and knocked over one of the lights. The director's assistant had escorted a profusely apologizing Camille to the door with a typical "Don't call us, we'll call you," line.

Camille suddenly realized that the opening band was heading out, and the opening music of Epic was starting, and the guys were dramatically rising out of the ground of the stage. She had been daydreaming through the whole opening act.

"This one is for the ladies, they lookin' so amazing." Logan caught Camille's eye somehow, all the way up onstage, and winked at her. The girls around Camille all started screaming, swearing that he had winked at them. Camille just rolled her eyes, planted a smile on her face, and tried to enjoy herself.

I'm interested to see what your reaction to Camille's revelation will be…