I stepped away from this story but it never left my mind. This last year I've been struggling with a lot of things and to be honest I just feel like Shadis. When I started writing this story I had nothing in mind. I just thought about a pairing I liked and how funny it seemed to me that Keith was bald and hoarded shampoo like his hair would magically grow back. I wanna get back into fanfiction and update some stories. Even though this one isn't popular I know what I wanna do now and I wanna write it. Thanks to anyone who reads it and double thanks to those who support it. I hope to make light of the hard things but bring light to them as well.

Shadis didn't end up sleeping at all. No weird cat yoga pose helped in his seven hour quest to oblivion. Only now, when the sun was up, did he feel the least bit tired. He touched the sheets of his bed, thought about the night before, and became immediately upset. The feeling was heavy, like he was angry at something; the need to scream or cry out was equally present. It was worse that embarrassment but it wasn't too far off from that. He watched the ceiling fan swirl above him slowly and wished to be hypnotized into a coma.

He's old now. He knew that. He wasn't considered handsome. He was fully aware. Hange didn't have a crush on him, he didn't care. Really, honestly, he didn't. But something about being rejected by someone he wasn't even interested in rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was a heat of the moment thing last night? For a split second, he wanted Hange to like him. But what would that prove? Hange liking him wouldn't mean anything long term. Maybe the shine in their eyes reminded him of the shine in Carla's. Maybe he's just looking for ways to hurt himself. Maybe he just wants to believe in a trick if only to have something to do? He didn't drink the night before, but he wished he had if only to have an excuse as to why he felt the way he did. He wanted to throw up. He considered staying in bed all day but thought about his age and position.

"A stupid drunk kid laughed at me. Who cares… time to get up…"

He didn't move.

"One, two, three- GET UP!"

He stayed still.

Keith opted to just roll out of bed and lie on the floor a moment before making his way to the bathroom to look at his own reflection. It was clear he was going to need coffee to survive. He'd have to make due with the shit they served in the cafeteria, there was no way he could face Hange now. How the heck had he done it? What happened to make his form so grotesque? This morning he had managed to look worse than usual. Somehow his wrinkles were deeper, his bags were blacker, his scowl was more hateful. He was a terrible creature from the nightmares he had as a child. He was a nightmare. He was the future, happening live. He thought about his peanut butter banana smile last night. He couldn't imagine that smile on his face now.

Shadis hurried and took a shower, grabbing the shampoo and chucking it at the wall leaving and ugly scuff and splatter of product he'd have to clean up and paint over later. He dried off and got dressed, looking at his coffee machine on the way out.

"Fuck you coffee machine," he muttered to it.

He shoved his feet into his shoes and slammed the door behind him stomping away toward the elevator… and then turning right back around to lock the door behind him.

"Fuck you door," he mumbled, futzing with his keys.

He got into the elevator, which stopped on every floor on the way down. Not a single one of his neighbors wanted to get into the elevator with him, insisting they'd take the next one. He radiated aggression, as if he were possessed. He was possessed. He was a demon of the night! He was a warrior spirit on a path to destruction! He was… probably just going to get over the whole thing after he enjoyed some crap cup of hospital coffee. Keith was fuming but he also knew that he was never really good at holding a grudge. As he made his way to his car he felt like bashing his head into the concrete. Why was he such an idiot? He was too old to be this way. Why did he have to even muse over Erwin's bogus taunts? Hange didn't like him AND HE DIDN'T CARE!

Once inside his car he squeezed his eyes shut and furrowed his eyebrows. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his tan knuckles turned a yellow-green-white. His face felt hot and his brain turned into soup. Eventually his body couldn't take the tension and relaxed all at once, his head resting on the horn, which then blared through the early morning parking garage. He groaned suddenly calming and hearing the horn. He sat up and went limp in the driver's seat before silently putting his key in the ignition, turning it, and leaving the 3rd floor parking. He listened to Tom Waits on his way to work and wondered why he listened to so many tin-can style songs? He pulled into the parking lot of the cafe where Hange worked.

His body brought him here from habit. He groaned, he forgot he was that sort of creature. But then he looked at himself again in one of the mirrors of his car. He took in a deep breath, held it, and let it out. He was already here. Just get the coffee you like and get out.

"Be quick, you're a mature adult. It was a simple misunderstanding and also who cares anyway. Hange probably doesn't even remember it. They probably thought it was a joke. One big joke. Everything is a joke. Besides, one must support their local businesses… or something."

He got out of his car and entered the establishment, moving as stiffly as the tin man. Hange was there, seeming to nurse a hangover. Their face was in their hands as they took orders and for once he couldn't hear their usually screaming. Hange was using an actual inside voice. Served them right, he thought. Why does watching the person who did you wrong suffer make one suddenly believe in God? Keith wasn't entirely sure but he thanked whomever was out there, even the illuminati, for watching over him.

"Good morning Hange," he said flatly, "the usual."

"Morning… Coming right up…" They seemed to not even have bones, Hange was so limp and dead.

"Hangover that bad?"

"Like Sawney Bean eating into my brain. This must be how Athena was born."

Keith nodded only understanding part of what they said (not exactly out of the ordinary). He felt kinda bad for Hange. They were clearly suffering. He wondered then, what would Hange be like if they hadn't drank so much the night before. Would they ask how he was or make fun of him? Looking at the college student now Shadis felt ashamed. Hange was always nice to him; even if their brand of nice wasn't really the kind he wanted. They were weird and a little obnoxious but not mean spirited. Could thoughts like this be part of being old? He can always get over things pretty easily but this was fast even for him, right? He felt proud of himself in that moment, like he had evolved in some way. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a Vitamin C packet he carried in case he was hungover or on the verge of a cold and needed to go to work. It was time to put all of this to bed… and then himself tonight. With his next word he pictured his comfy couch and tomorrow morning's sun making him even tanner.

"Take this with some water later."

They turned around with the coffee and looked at the packet, "Oh. Thank you."

They tried to sound chipper but failed miserably, "Don't worry about it, Hange. Believe it or not, I was 23 with a hangover once too."

"You remembered my age," this seemed to genuinely make Hange happy. He supposed anyone remembering details about anyone would make them happy. He wondered if it would make him happy?

He handed them a ten, "keep the change and feel better. Later."

He walked away from the counter with just a coffee. He felt weirdly better. As he thought, Hange was just an idiot kid. He shouldn't take things like that so personally. He got into his car and drove the rest of the way to work. He managed to beat Erwin to work and sat in his office enjoying his coffee. He looked out the window and tried to see the coffee shop where Hange worked but then scrapped the idea and sat back down to try and work. He opened the lowest left desk drawer and mindlessly reached behind the files for the wig Hange gave him. He looked at it, not putting it on and then putting it back. It was already dusty from the inside of the drawers. He should clean them.

"Hange," he said out loud spinning in his chair, messing with the wig in his hands, "Hangeeeeee. That doesn't even sound like a name."

He placed the wig back in his desk and powered on his computer. Time to work. Keith finished his coffee as he sorted through papers and contracts. Then he looked through the budget to see if it would be possible to hire any new physicians. Currently… no. The Hospital was built underneath one of those grand highway bridges. It was a good hospital but the location and lack of brand name made it less desirable. He looked at his empty coffee cup.

"Gotta support your local businesses," he said tossing the cup out.

He thought about the bar from last night and bopped his head, wondering what kind of music they were playing. Normally he hates that sort of popping-hopping-jumping noise but maybe he was getting tired of his rustic Johnny Cashes and late night Nickelbacks… that last one was guilty pleasure purely. Maybe Erwin would know? No! He'd rather die than ask him.

Short chapter is short but yeah. I hope to get back into this story. Thanks everyone!