Some things will diverge from season 6 episode 10. I know you will probably hate me for this but I had this planned since I started this story. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! I'm so sorry for the waiting!
Happy reading!
There's only one kind of happiness, but misfortune comes in all shapes and sizes. It's like Tolstoy said. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness a story ― Haruki Murakami
Sansa wanted nothing more than to hide herself in a big big hole.
She was completely drenched, her hair was a mess and her gown was ruined. She looked like the exact opposite of the beautiful woman walking towards her. Not even Jon's body blocking some of her view diminished her nerves.
Sansa started to feel small as the woman approached them.
Years had passed since she last saw her but the former Queen looked just like Sansa remembered her. Her long brown hair was held away from her face in two small braids, her big brown eyes still had the same sparkle, her lips insisted on creating an easy smile and despite the cold wind she was wearing a silk gown that exposed more skin than the typical gowns northern women used to wear.
Sansa bit her lower lip, preparing herself for the inevitable encounter and embarrassment but then she realized that the woman's eyes were not focused on hers. For a split second Sansa thought that she was invisible … until she followed her gaze and saw were it lingered – Jon.
Suddenly her heart started to beat faster. Margaery Tyrell wasn't there because of her. She didn't travel towards North to see her. She didn't leave Highgarden to meet her after all these years. She couldn't even recognize her.
She was there because of Jon. She was there to be Queen – Jon's Queen.
I'm stupid. A stupid little girl with stupid dreams who never learns – words from her past started to echo in her mind.
Fate had a twisted sense of humor. She was finally ready to admit her feelings for Jon and now it was all ruined.
The rational part of her was glad Jon hadn't heard her confession; the other part – her heart – was breaking into tiny little pieces. She had wasted so much time; so many opportunities to tell him about how she didn't see him as a brother but as a man – a beautiful man who made her want things; who made her dream about a happy future; who made her believe in songs again.
I'm stupid. A stupid little girl with stupid dreams who never learns – the words invaded her mind again.
She should have learned by now that happiness was not in the cards for her.
Life was not a song. Life was a cruel joke – Sansa realized as she watched Margaery's mouth quirk into a smile (an annoying smile), ignoring her completely.
She probably thinks I'm a service girl – she thought, glad for the hood that covered her hair and face.
Her auburn hair was mussed and darker but Sansa didn't regret falling into the pool. She only regretted the things that would never happen.
"Your Grace" – Margaery finally spoke, bowing her head and offering her hand.
As Jon's lips touched Margaery's hand, Sansa made her way towards the castle.
For the first time, Jon was glad Lord Slate was by his side, otherwise he would never have guessed the name of the woman in front of him.
When the man whispered the name Lady Margaery Tyrell, Jon tried to remain with a neutral face. Despite the fact that this was the first time he met Margaery Tyrell, Jon already knew her. Her name was frequently mentioned during the council meetings. Even Daenerys had mentioned her during his time in King's Landing.
His marriage prospects seemed to be a subject that no one wanted to forget.
Daenerys wanted a dynasty and Jon was the only one who could ensure that. The price for Khal Drogo's life had been too high and Daenerys knew that the only children that she would ever have were her dragons, which meant that Jon had the responsibility to continue the Targaryen lineage.
House Tyrell was an important House; an ally that House Targaryen could not afford to lose. The Tyrells were the Wardens of the South and they controlled the majority of the food supply; they were rich and they had an army.
According to his advisors, Margaery was the perfect bride. Jon found her calculating and ambitious, too ambitious. She wanted another crown. Apparently three hadn't been enough to satisfy her.
According to Daenerys they needed to keep an eye on her and the best way to do that was to keep the Tyrells close and establish a connection with them. Jon quickly understood the double meaning of the word connection.
Even if his Aunt never forced him to marry Margaery, Jon knew that their marriage would benefit the realm. House Tyrell was one of the richest families in the country; rich enough to start a war – a rebellion – and try to take the throne again. A marriage could prevent that. Margaery would gain a crown and her heirs would be the heirs to the throne. There would be no need for a war.
"Lady Margaery" – Jon spoke – "I hope your trip was pleasant" – he added, looking at her.
"It was, Your Grace" – Margaery said smiling – "Unfortunately winter is ending. I was looking forward to seeing the snow. Sansa used to tell me that not even the green mountains of Highgarden could compete with the white lands of the North"
The mention of Sansa made him look over his shoulder. Jon immediately noticed that his cousin was no longer by his side.
He frowned – Where was she?
He wanted to finish their conversation. He needed to finish their conversation. He couldn't erase from his mind the image of Sansa and him in the hot springs.
He ran his fingers through his dark curls, feeling his hand wet.
Gods – he sighed, realizing his current state – I'm drenched.
He looked at his torso. His tunic was clutched to his body, revealing his abdominal muscles. His hair was mussed.
He rubbed the water drops from his brow, trying to find the right words to explain his state.
He looked at Margaery and felt his cheeks flush. She was looking at his soaked clothes with a mischievous smile, making him feel like he was naked. His white tunic was now transparent and clung to his skin. He wanted nothing more than to put his cloak around his shoulders and cover his body, but then he realized that he had offered his cloak to Sansa.
"I apologize for my current state" – Jon managed to say, trying to disguise his discomfort.
"There's no need to apologize, Your Grace" – Margaery said – "You were not expecting guests. I should have waited for your reply" – she added.
Reply? – Jon thought more confused than ever.
Unconsciously, he looked at Lord Slate. The man opened his mouth but Margaery was faster.
"I sent a raven confirming my earlier arrival…" – she said – "so we could discuss all the political matters before the spring feast" – she explained.
"The spring feast" – Jon repeated, remembering Lord Slate yelling his name and waving a missive before Sansa and him disappeared from his view.
The man was trying to inform him about Margaery and he had ignored him.
I really am a terrible King – he thought.
"I'm sure it will be a beautiful feast. My advisors told me that the entire North was invited" – Margaery spoke – "I'm glad House Tyrell was not forgotten" – she said, flashing her most winning smile – "I ordered a carriage full of roses, so Winterfell can fully embrace the beginning of spring"
"What a wonderful idea, My Lady!" – Lord Slate exclaimed.
Is it? – Jon said to himself, arching one eyebrow.
Lady Margaery had just arrived and was already acting like she was the Lady of Winterfell.
She was trying to send a message. All people would see the golden roses; all people would think that they had a relationship – the kind of relationship that led to a marriage.
Jon had to give her credit. She was clever. The roses would definitely discourage other women to approach him. She was acting like Winterfell was already her territory; like he was her territory.
He didn't know if it was that realization that made him shiver or his soaked clothes.
Margaery was destroying the entire meaning of the feast.
It was Jon who had the idea of throwing a feast. Every men of his private council looked surprised after hearing his idea but none of them said a word against it.
Queen Daenerys's influence – they thought – Maybe his time in the capital made him start to enjoy this kind of things.
They were wrong. Jon hated these things. His time at court only made him hate feasts even more.
Daenerys had to almost drag him out of his chambers when she informed him that she had planned a ball to celebrate his arrival.
A month later, when she told him about the small banquet she was planning he felt relieved, thinking that maybe that meant less music and less time wasted with people he didn't even know. He was wrong. Daenerys's definition of small was something Jon would never get used to. Her small banquet had at least two hundred people.
Jon hated banquets, balls and feasts but Sansa didn't. She loved the music, the people, the dancing … she loved all of that.
Jon could still remember the sparkle in her eyes when Eddard Stark informed them about the feast that he was planning for Robb's nameday – the heir of Winterfell.
All North was invited. Sansa was only nine but everyone could already see how beautiful she was. She danced the entire night.
The spring feast was for her. After all the suffering she had to endure, Sansa deserved to have a night to enjoy herself, to forget the terrible things of the past.
Jon wanted everyone to see how beautiful she was. He wanted to make her happy again. He wanted to make her feel like a Queen.
"Is the Queen coming to the feast, Your Grace?" – Margaery's voice invaded his ears.
It took Jon a moment to realize that Margaery was referring to Dany and not Sansa.
He cleared his throat and tried to organize his thoughts.
"No, I don't think she will" – he answered, remembering that Ellaria Sand and the Sand Snakes were planning to visit Daenerys in the same time period.
We need to keep an eye on her and the best way to do that is to keep the Tyrells close – he remembered his Aunt's words.
"Would you do me the honor to dine with me, My Lady?" – he forced the words to get out of his mouth – "I'm sure Sansa would enjoy your company"
"I would love to!" – Margaery immediately said.
Jon faked a smile and ordered some servants to prepare chambers for the new visitors. He kissed Margaery's hand again and walked towards the castle.
Sansa didn't know how long she was in the tub, looking at the ceiling, trying to erase Jon's face from her mind.
The water was already cold but Sansa hardly felt it.
She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees.
She didn't want to leave her chambers and face Jon. She didn't want to leave her chambers and face Jon and Margaery.
She didn't want to see them together.
Sansa sighed.
She didn't know she would be able to smile and pretend to be pleased once Jon tells her about his happy future with Margaery Tyrell (or Margaery Targaryen).
She knew that she wouldn't be able to spend the rest of her life watching Jon love someone else. Winterfell would no longer be her home, it would be a dark place again, full of dark memories and ghosts of what could had been. She wouldn't be able to live like that.
She sank into the tub and disappeared under water. She remained like that until she felt her lungs pleading for air.
When she came up from the water she heard her chamber's door creaking. She rubbed her eyes but before she could adjust her eyes to the surroundings a familiar face made her want to sink into the tub again.
"Sansa! My dearest friend! I've missed you!" – Margaery exclaimed, kneeling beside the tub and pressing two kisses to either of her cheeks.
"Margaery, I …" – Sansa tried to say, feeling her cheeks turning red. She was completely naked and her hair was plastered down with water.
"I've missed you so much! It has been so long since we've seen each other" – Margaery said.
"Too long" – Sansa said, forcing a smile – "I didn't know you were planning to visit Winterfell" – she added, pretending to be surprised by her presence and trying not to think at the way Margaery looked at Jon in the courtyard.
"I came for the feast" – Margaery explained, smiling from ear to ear.
"The feast?" – Sansa asked, this time genuinely surprised. What was she talking about?
"The spring feast" – Margaery said – "All the Northern Houses were invited. Did you not know about this?"
"No" – Sansa mumbled – "Jon must have forgotten to tell me" – she added.
"Perhaps he wanted it to be a surprise" – Margaery suggested.
"Perhaps…" – Sansa softly said.
"Do not worry. You still have a month to find the perfect gown" – Margaery said, smiling at her.
"A month ..." – Sansa repeated. She looked at her friend confused – "You came early"
"I missed my old friend" – the Lady of Highgarden said, getting up from the ground and smoothing out her skirts – "After my Grandmother and father passed away Highgarden became a dark place to live" – she explained – "Loras is now the Lord of Highgarden and barely has time to keep me company"
Despite Margaery's speech Sansa was not moved by her words. She knew better than to believe in her fake words.
"I'm sorry for your loss" – she said – "Lady Olenna was always kind to me. I'm sorry the war took her away from you. I'm sure she's in a better place now" – she added.
The Tyrells had been an important help during Daenerys's claim to the Iron Throne.
Cersei had tried to kill them by destroying the Great Sept of Baelor but Margaery quickly understood her plan. They managed to escape from her claws and meet with Ellaria Sand in Dorn.
Consumed by sadness Tommen committed suicide, allowing Cersei to take the throne.
After that the Tyrells declared their support to House Targaryen and Margaery had to renounce her claim to the Iron Throne.
"The Lannisters are finally gone" – Sansa continued to say – "At least the bad ones" – Tyrion was still alive. He proved to be a loyal friend. He was now Hand of the Queen.
"I heard the Queen has annulled your marriage" – Margaery said.
"She did" – Sansa nodded. She wished her history with Ramsay could be as easily erased, unfortunately the man still met her in her worse nightmares – "I'm free, unwed, and home again"
"Until when?" – Margaery asked with a mischievous smile.
And here we go. Time to play the game of thrones.
"I could ask you the same question, old friend" – Sansa said with a matching smile.
Margaery remained in silence for a few seconds. She sat on the lip of the tub. Her eyes focused on her own fingers touching the cold water.
"Have you ever been in love?" – she finally spoke. Unconsciously, Sansa ran a hand through her hair – "I've never been in love" – Margaery said, like she was talking to herself – "And I don't think I was ever loved. My first husband preferred the company of my brother than mine. My second husband was a man who couldn't love and my third husband … well, I don't think Tommen was old enough to really know what love was"
"That's why you're here?" – Sansa asked. Her mouth felt dry and her voice was barely a whisper.
"I don't believe in songs anymore, Sansa" – Margaery said, looking at her – "I think I never did" – she laughed mirthlessly – "I've always thought that love was irrelevant to people like us" – she added – "Do you think I could have a change of heart?"
Requires a heart – Sansa thought to herself.
"Any man would be happy to have you as a wife" – she forced the words to get out of her mouth.
"Do you think your brother would?" – Margaery asked and Sansa tried to remain with a neutral face, feeling her heart beating against her chest.
"He's not my brother" – she tried to correct her but the Maid of Highgarden ignored her.
"How is he like?" – Margaery insisted.
Beautiful, handsome, gallant, fearless, perfect. The best swordsman of the Seven Kingdoms. The best man I've ever met. The man I lo –Sansa shook her head, trying to erase her thoughts.
She needed to find the right words to describe him.
"Jon is Jon" – Sansa mumbled. She noticed the confuse look on Margaery's face and spoke again – "He's brave and gentle and strong" – she unconsciously repeated her father's words: When you're older, I'll make you a match with someone who is worthy of you. Someone who is brave and gentle and strong – "He's a great king even if he says otherwise" – she added.
"I married three kings and none of them was a great king nor as handsome as your brother" – Margaery said. Sansa was about to correct her last word but Lady Tyrell interrupted her – "I look forward for the spring feast so I can get the chance to dance with him"
"Jon hates dancing" – Sansa immediately said.
"Only because he didn't find the right partner yet" – Margaery simply said – "Of all the Southern Houses, House Tyrell was the only one invited … and it's called the spring feast. Do you think that's a sign?" – she continued to say and Sansa felt her heart sink.
Spring feast, not winter feast. The Tyrell sigil was a golden rose on a pale green field – the perfect image of spring.
Sansa wanted to disappear as she realized what her friend was trying to say. The feast was for Margaery. Jon was planning a feast for Margaery.
"I would love to be your sister. Wouldn't that be wonderful?" – Margaery continued to say and Sansa could feel an actual physical pain in her chest as her words echoed in her mind.
"Wonderful" – she repeated, starting to feel dizzy.
"I'm so happy to be here!" – Margaery exclaimed, pressing a kiss on her cheek, before making her away towards the door – "I'll see you at dinner, sister" – she winked, opening the door.
As soon as Margaery walked out of the room Sansa sank into the tub, hoping the cold water would freeze her heart and erase the tears that were starting to appear in her eyes.
Jon managed to smile warmly at Margaery when the Maid of Highgarden leaned forward and touched his hand. He was sat at the head of the table, Margaery to his right while Sansa sat at the other end of the table, directly across from him.
Clad in a green velvet dress Margaery Tyrell looked beautiful. The neckline of her gown was wide and the tops of her breasts were visible. When she laughed and tossed her head back the emerald necklace on her neck glowed.
Jon studied Sansa from the corner of his eye. She was quiet, uncharacteristically quiet.
He tried not to look at his cousin too much during dinner but every time his eyes landed on her figure, her eyes were always stuck on her plate.
She vaguely followed their conversations, only contributing when asked.
She was wearing a white and silver gown. It was a simple dress, simpler than Margaery's. Her auburn hair was loose, falling down in red waves over her shoulders and down her back. Only a few strands of hair were held in place with the hairpin Jon had offered her.
Jon was watching Sansa picking at her vegetables when Margaery's voice invaded his ears.
"Would you like to see Highgarden, Your Grace?" – she asked, smiling at him.
"I … Yes, I suppose I would" – he managed to say. A servant refilling Sansa's cup caught his attention – "And please, call me Jon" – he added, watching Sansa drink her wine.
Margaery's eyes flashed and her smile became even bigger. She was about to say Jon's name when Sansa pushed back her chair before standing up.
Jon looked at Sansa with concern in his eyes. He opened his mouth but Sansa was faster.
"A sudden headache" – she lied, trying to sound convincing, feeling her knees trembling – "If you'll excuse me, Jon" – she added, already backing out of the room, not waiting for Jon's response.
As she hurried down the corridor she felt like she couldn't get enough air. It was like the walls of the castle were closing in on her. She thought she would be capable of seeing Margaery play her game – of seeing Margaery in Jon's presence – but she quickly realized she couldn't.
It was too painful. Margaery's loudly laugh was like a knife plunged into her chest. Jon's charming smiles were like dog bites. Every time Margaery touched Jon's hand she had to clutch her fork, bit her lower lip and try to remain with a neutral face when all she wanted to do was to throw the bloody fork at the Maid of Highgarden.
Arya would be so proud – she thought as a sob raked her whole body.
She was alone again. She had found Jon only to lose him when she needed – wanted – him the most.
As Sansa tried to control her breathing she realized where she'd ran to – the Glass Garden.
She sat on a stone bench and managed to shove the awful images of the dinner out of her head. The faint torches didn't penetrate very far into the dark greenhouse but Sansa didn't need the light. She wanted to be alone and soak in her misery.
Suddenly she felt something warm and soft touching her left hand and froze. Ghost sniffed her hand and Sansa released the air she didn't know it was trapped in her lungs. She caressed his fur.
"I'm glad you don't like her" – she murmured, remembering how Ghost escaped from Jon's solar as soon as Margaery appeared. Sansa wished she could have done the same.
Ghost licked her hand, managing to steal a small smile from Sansa.
A sigh of relief escaped from Jon's lips when he saw the lone figure sitting on the stone bench. When he didn't find her in her chambers he started to fear the worst.
He hesitated as he approached her, suddenly unsure. Sansa's words started to echo in his head.
I feel too guilty
Guilty for what? – he heard his own voice in his mind. He needed to know her answer.
When Sansa left his chambers he wanted nothing more than to follow her but then he remembered that Margaery was still in the room and forced his body to remain on the chair.
Sansa felt his presence and turned around. When her eyes found his she immediately looked away and focused her attention on Ghost.
Jon sat down in the opposite corner of the stone bench.
"How are you feeling?" – Jon's voice broke the silence – "I could ask for Maester –"
"I'm fine" – Sansa interrupted him – "I just needed some fresh air" – she explained.
"I was worried about you" – Jon said softly – "You were uncharacteristically quiet during dinner"
I thought you were too busy flirting with Margaery to notice – Sansa said to herself.
"I didn't have anything to say" – the Lady of Winterfell simply said.
"Actually I think you do" – Jon said, meeting her blue eyes – "We never finished our conversation. Lord Slate interrupted you when you were about to speak" – he added, trying to disguise the hope in his voice.
"It's not important" – not anymore – Sansa added to herself.
"Let me be the judge of that" – Jon insisted. His eyes never leaving hers.
"I just …" – she bit her lower lip and dropped her gaze. Think, think, think – "I guess I never forgave myself for the way I treated you when we were children and you're always so kind to me and you have spent every spare minute with me when you could be spending your time with other people" – she babbled, not wanting to tell Jon the real reason she avoided him. The truth wouldn't change anything – "And I, I, I feel guilty for that. I don't want to be a burden"
"You could never be a burden, Sansa" – Jon said, gently brushing Sansa's hair back over her shoulder – "I like to spend time with you" – he added when all he wanted to say was: There's no one else I would want to spend my time with.
She shivered lightly and Jon immediately removed his hand from her hair.
"You're the King, Jon" – Sansa said – "It's not your job to keep me company. I shouldn't steal your time"
"You can't steal something that's been given to you" – Jon said – "And even if you could…" – he paused – "We both know that you are a terrible thief, so…" – he jested, enjoying the way Sansa immediately opened her mouth, ready to protest.
"Are you mocking me, Your Grace?" – she exclaimed, faking a shocked face.
"I wouldn't dare, My Lady" – he stated, smiling at her – "Just stating facts" – he jested again.
He didn't smile too much but when he did he looked perfect, Sansa realized as her eyes focused on Jon's lips. She could stare at him forever. She wished she could stare at him forever.
Sansa felt Jon's eyes on her and her mind came back to reality. She cleared her throat, feeling her cheeks flush.
"I already miss the snow" – she said, looking at the ground.
"Spring is coming" – Jon said innocently, without realizing the double meaning of his words.
Sansa nodded slowly, struggling to calm the storm of emotions raging within her as Jon's words echoed in her mind.
Spring is coming. She could feel the thorns of the Tyrell roses pricking her skin.
Sansa pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on top of her knees, trying to disguise her discomfort.
"Why didn't you tell me about the feast?" – she asked. Her tone lifeless.
"I've wanted to tell you but I've barely seen you these past days" – Jon explained, making Sansa's stomach twist into a knot.
Because I've been busy avoiding you – she thought, regretting her actions.
"I'm sure Margaery will love it" – Sansa said, quickly blinking away the pinpricks of tears welling up in her eyes – "She was very excited to meet you. She even told me she wishes to dance with you. I think you made a good first impression" – she added, forcing a smile – "You do not need to worry. She will marry you, even if the feast is a disaster" – she made herself say, somehow managing to sound as though her heart wasn't breaking.
"Sansa …" – Jon tried to say but Sansa continued to talk.
"Marrying her is a good way to ensure peace" – she said, trying to hide the tremor in her voice – "And she already knows how the court works. She's smart and rich and beautiful" – she studied the man sitting across from her. She was a practiced liar. There was no way Jon would know that her heart was breaking into tiny little pieces – "What could you possibly want more?" – she added softly, allowing herself to touch Jon's cheek before standing up from the bench.
Her bottom lip started to tremble and only sheer force of will made her fight back the tears. She could feel Ghost at her side as she made her way towards the entrance of the Glass Garden, leaving a speechless Jon behind.
Poor Sansa. I'm putting her through too much.
So, Margaery didn't die. I could have chosen another character to play her role but no one is better than Margaery at being Margaery, so …
Next chapter will be interesting and a new character is going to appear (well, it's not exactly a new character since I already mentioned her/him in chapter 2, hahaha).
Please review! I love to read what you think!
Oh, I made a new Jon/Sansa video, if you want to see it just check my youtube channel (mentioned on my profile) or follow this link: watch?v=8N3nNcH4wt8