4.

"You need to talk to him about it."

Malcolm winced at the harshness of Hoshi's tone. She was angry, that much was obvious. "I don't know what good talking to him will do, Hoshi."

"Sara's done nothing wrong, Malcolm," Hoshi said, looking over at her friend. Sara was sitting in her usual corner of the mess hall, laughing at something Travis was saying. "Me and Travis and Phlox are basically the only friends she has on Enterprise, and I know that's because Commander Tucker has been saying things about her."

"Hoshi-"

Hoshi put up a hand to stop Malcolm. "You saw how he acted at Movie Night a month ago," she said quietly. "It's only gotten worse since then. Sara doesn't like to talk about it, but every time she runs into him, Trip's rude to her. I had to get it out of Phlox because she wouldn't say anything, but it's really starting to hurt her feelings."

Malcolm was shocked. "I thought he was just in a bad mood," he mused. "Because of the engine parts not arriving on schedule."

"A lot of things have arrived on-schedule since then, and he's still doing it. You're his best friend. Talk to him about it."

As they turned around, they watched Sara get up from the table and throw her trash away. At the garbage, she accidentally bumped into Trip, and while they couldn't see his face, they could see Sara's, which started falling fast even as she was profusely apologizing. Finally she turned and walked quickly out of the mess hall, clearly upset.

"Wow," Malcolm muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, it's been like that for a month now," Hoshi said.

Malcolm nodded at Hoshi and walked over to the garbage. "Any damage done?" he asked.

"Stupid ensign," Trip muttered. "Didn't spill anything on me, but doesn't bother to look where she's going. Happens again, I'll…"

"Behave like a tosser again?"

Trip looked at his friend in shock. "A what now?"

"A tosser. A wanker. A prick. A ratbag. An arsehole. Take your pick, Trip, because all are appropriate descriptors at the moment."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Trip said, turning and walking out of the mess hall. Malcolm followed him, determined to keep his word to Hoshi.

"I'm talking about your behavior towards Ensign Rhodes," Malcolm said. That did it. Trip stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at his friend. "You don't say anything right now. You just listen. I knew you weren't giving her a fair shake her first day here, and the way you treated her at Movie Night last month was abominable, but I put that down to your mood over the engine parts. But apparently, Hoshi knows about quite a bit that I don't. And you know why?"

"Because Ensign Rhodes can't keep her mouth shut?"

"No," Malcolm said, now a little angry himself. "Hoshi had to get it out of Phlox because Ensign Rhodes HAS kept her mouth shut and refused to tell Hoshi what's upsetting her even when it's clear she's unhappy. It's almost as if she's trying to protect someone, though god knows said person doesn't seem to be worth protecting."

Trip shook his head. "You don't get it, Malcolm."

"That's right, I don't. So explain it to me. What has she done that warrants this treatment?"

"She's charmed, that's what she is," Trip said angrily. "Somehow, she's managed to survive everything and get what she wants, and I hate that. It's not fair."

"I do believe you're the one who told me that life isn't fair," Malcolm said frostily. "And I stand by my prior comment as well. You don't have to be unfair to her on top of life's unfairness." He stalked off, leaving Trip looking bewildered and slightly angry in the hallway. He almost walked right past Hoshi and Sara without seeing them, he was so upset.

Sara looked unsettled. "Hoshi, I told you not to say anything," she said quietly. "I don't want to get in trouble."

"You won't be getting in any trouble," Malcolm said. "I can promise you that. You've done nothing wrong. That bloody wanker Tucker, on the other hand…"

Before he could say another word, Sara let out what could only be described as a bark of laughter. She quickly covered her hands with her mouth and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant," she squeaked out. "I've never heard anyone outside of my Welsh cousins say something like that before."

Malcolm blinked. "You're Welsh?"

"My late grandfather was Welsh, so I'm a quarter," Sara said, recovering her composure. "We have a lot of Welsh cousins who occasionally come to visit, and they swear so much sometimes I have to send my children out of the room. It's hilarious, but Elizabeth's already learned one swear from my brother, so I don't want her picking up any more. In any case, I don't want anyone getting into trouble on my account."

"The way he's been treating you is awful," Hoshi stated. "I really think you should talk to him about it. Malcolm apparently gave him hell just now, so maybe he'll be willing to listen to you."

"I doubt it, but thanks, both of you," Sara said.

"If he tries to ignore you, make him listen," Malcolm said. "I don't even think I got the full story about what's wrong, so I couldn't fully make him listen to me."

"Oh, believe me, I have a good idea of what's wrong," Sara said grimly. "But I think it should stay between the commander and myself."

"Then go find him and talk some bloody sense into him," Malcolm said. He took a pen out of his uniform and wrote directions to Trip's quarters on Sara's hand. "There you go. Off with you now. Let's get this sorted out before someone ends up getting punched in the face."

Sara laughed and started walking away. She wasn't sure what she would find when she reached her destination, but she knew that the approaching confrontation was something that couldn't be avoided any longer. She knew exactly why Trip was mad at her; she'd known from the moment she set foot on the Enterprise. Malcolm and Hoshi were right; it would be better to get everything out in the open.

It took her a half hour to find Trip's quarters. The directions were fairly straightforward, but for some reason, Sara kept getting lost. She figured that somewhere in her subconscious, she was doing it on purpose to avoid the fight, but she couldn't prove it. Finally, she reached her destination and knocked on the door. A slightly slurred voice inside told her to come in.

Sara opened the door and walked into Trip's room, closing the door behind her with a loud slam. Trip looked up from the open tequila bottle in his hand and glared. "The hell do you want?" he asked, clearly tipsy, if not yet fully drunk.

"I want you to say it," Sara said calmly.

"Say what?"

"I'm not stupid, Trip. Just say it."

"I'm a commander now. You gotta treat me with respect."

"You're also halfway through a bottle of tequila singlehandedly."

Trip looked at the half-empty bottle. "Well damn. How'd that happen?"

"We both know why you've been treating me like garbage," Sara said, her angry glare a near-perfect mirror of his. "So just say it. Get it out in the open."

Trip stared at Sara for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he said it. "I wish you had died instead of Elizabeth."

Sara could feel the tears filling her eyes. "You know what? Sometimes I feel the same way," she said through gritted teeth. "I lost not only my best friend, but the father of all three of my children. My daughter will never know her father. But sometimes, the three of them aren't enough to keep me from thinking that I'm the one who should have died instead of Elizabeth."

"At least you got to keep your Elizabeth."

Sara looked shocked. "What do you mean?"

"I had an Elizabeth too. A little baby girl. She was precious as hell. Found out she'd been engineered as a piece of goddamn propaganda to show why humans shouldn't breed outside the species, but I loved her all the same. Something went wrong when they made her, though, and she died. So it doesn't seem fair that you get to keep yours and I don't. Seems to me that maybe you should have a little more pain than you've gotten."

Sara's eyes blazed with rage. "I'm sorry that you lost your daughter," she said. "That's something that no parent should ever have to go through. But I swear to god, Trip Tucker, if you wish the same fate on my innocent little girl, I WILL make sure it's the last goddamn thing you ever do."

Trip wobbled to his feet. "You can't threaten me!"

"Watch me, asshole!" Sara spat. "All these years I've felt incredibly guilty for not staying in Panama City with my husband and Elizabeth, and it took me a long damn time to realize that there was nothing I could have done. And just when I've finally thought that I was past the guilt, I come here, and you've done nothing but make me feel just as awful as the day it happened. I refuse to let you make me feel guilty for something I couldn't control and for my beautiful little girl."

"You had no right to name her that," Trip yelled. "You weren't family!"

"I had EVERY right to name her Elizabeth!" Sara yelled back. "Elizabeth was going to be her godmother, just like she was godmother to my sons, one of whom is named after you, I might add. And your mother seemed to think it was a lovely tribute when I asked her!"

"Oh, and how long after the baby was born was that? Because you sure as hell didn't talk to her right after Elizabeth died! I know that for a fact!"

"I was on bed-rest, you asshole! I was so shocked and in so much pain at the loss of your sister AND MY HUSBAND that I nearly lost my daughter. The doctors in California? Yeah, they decided I wasn't able to have a phone or a TV in my room while I was on bed-rest because they didn't want me to have any additional stress. Ask them! I could give you their names! They could tell you how I fucking BEGGED to have a phone so I could call your mother THE DAY ELIZABETH DIED to let her know how sorry I was. They didn't let me off bed-rest for TWO MONTHS, but as soon as I was released, you know who I called? YOUR MOTHER. SHE gave me permission to name my daughter after your sister. She was even one of the first people to see her after she was born. YOUR MOTHER SEEMED TO BE FINE WITH THE WHOLE THING."

Sara was so angry she was shaking. She didn't notice she was shaking, nor did she notice that Trip's expression had changed from anger to something that almost resembled remorse. "I know that I have an unreasonable expectation for things to be fair. It's a family trait. My great-grandmother was the same way. But I never expected that the worst unfairness would come from someone I'd known for over a decade. Elizabeth would be completely disgusted with you if she could see you right now. You're acting like a petulant child. So now I'm going to walk away, because at least one of us should leave this argument with our dignity intact."

Sara turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. As she slammed the door shut, she could hear Trip start to say something, but she didn't care. She choked back tears as she walked to the Captain's Ready Room and when she was admitted, she calmly asked if she could borrow Porthos. When the request was granted, she hurried back to her quarters as fast as she could, Porthos cradled gently in her arms.

She was able to get inside and close the door behind her before she finally started sobbing.