Disclaimer: Same as in the first chapter.
Red Furry Demon states that she knows the English language well enough to spell better than a bewildered troll.
Thereby, all spelling errors in this fanfiction were made purposefully and serve as a tribute to Tara G-something's unique style of writing.
Part IV: Wrath of the Dark Lord
The Headmaster swiped the Elder Wand and suddenly a jet of light hit Snape.
"Sorry, Severus, I missed!" shouted Dumbledore.
Hagrid, who was passing nearby, started to run around madly with a broom in his hands.
"What are you doing, you're just a huge Hogwarts Gamekeeper," said Ebony.
"I may be a Hogwarts Gamekeeper," replied Hagrid. "But I'm also a character from Canon!"
Snape took out his wand and started healing the place where the Sectumsempra Curse hit his hand. Lupin rose the camera like a triumphing elephant.
"The lens was shot through, but the CD is still all right," he said. "Now we can blackmail her!"
Ebony felt like she was about to faint. Then, she heard a scream.
"AAAH! Not this bloody Horcrux link again!" Everyone who wasn't Goffik looked at Harry. "I've just had a vision of the Writher resurrecting Malfoy with a ritual of horrible fanfiction, and then Voldemort took him somewhere."
{aftermath}
That night Ebony was serving a detention with professor Snape, which meant she was supposed to clean the Potions classroom after first year Hufflepuffs had the class there.
Lupin took his apple to the Mental Ward of St. Mango's Hospital for Fruit and Vegetable Maladies and Injuries, because it had nightmares after seeing the scene in the bathroom.
Dumbledore was having a constipation with the cideo camera.
Canon was trying to burn itself with some help from Fawkes.
Everything was okay.
{/aftermath}
Ebony stared at the black flame. It was black.
"It's black," she said.
"Indeed it is," sighed professor Sinatra Trevolry, the Muggle Art teacher. "You must find yourself first, Ebony."
"I can't. I have to find Draco first."
...you know, the flame was black...
Goffik and sad, Ebony went to Transfiguration classes, where she spotted Harry.
"Potter!" she leaped at him, putting her hand in his trousers. "Let's be Goffik and have sex!"
"GO AWAY, YOU PERVERTED IDIOT!" shouted Harry.
"I luv you!"
Crack!
Ebony's head turned into a dictionary.
Professor McGonagall discretely put her wand in the pocket.
"Zabini, please take Miss RavenWay to the Hospital Wing."
Wornin: sum of dis chapta cuntins extrlimy scray gramar nd speling.
It olso coteinz a quto frum twighit by stefni mayre.
Viower excretion advisd.
Ebony, fully human again, was standing in front of the hearth in the Slytherin Common Room.
"The Dark Lord's Lair!" she called, throwing in some Floo Powder.
She was walking through a labyrinth of dark corridors. If she had some intelligence, she would follow the screams; she didn't have it though, so she followed the scent of Goffikness.
Finally, she reached heavy metal door, which probably should be locked, but for some reason were not. The room behind it was some kind of a dungeon, lit by cold, pale candles; sort of what the ghosts fancy rather than alive people.
Ebony stepped inside.
words, words so terrible no one shall ever speak them
"NOOO! STOP IT!"
the Malfoy scion, chained to the wall
"...and so the lion fell in love with the lamb…' he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
'What a stupid lamb,' I sighed.
'What a sick, masochistic lion."
and a man in black robes standing over him, reading a book aloud
"LEAVE HIM!" roared Ebony.
"I knew you would come." As the Death Eater aimed his wand at her, she noticed the metallic reflexes of light on his hand.
Wormtail.
"Stupefy."
"My Lord, I have the Mary Sue."
Voldemort smiled, but it was a smile devoid of joy.
"Let Malfoy go," he said. "While I must make some things clear with our guest."
As the door closed behind Wormy, the Dark Lord spoke the incantations of the most horrible curses the Wizarding World has ever heard about.
"Grammaticus mutilatus!Mariesuus insanus perfectus!"
The effect was instantaneous.
Ebony's eyes shone with Cullenic gold, her teeth turned into fangs, and an unreadable sequence of words escaped her mouth.
"U fukin Prep wut hav u done 2 me!1111111111oneeleveneleveneleven"
Voldemort sat on his armchair, gleefully watching the pathetic creature.
"Fuk U i am de most buttful gurl evah nd how u dare do sth so bad 2 me u Prep im a Goff und u haffe 2 b in luv wit me!1111111oneeleveneleven"
"Let me get this straight, Ebony," said the Dark Lord as he lifted the spells. "Last time I met you, I specified what you were to do. After nearly two chapters, I still don't have the Book. I do not like to wait, especially for foul Mary Sues to make up their mind."
(Note: Voldemort has too much faith in humanity. An average Mary Sue does not possess a useable mind.)
AN:
I guess I've accidentally made Voldie more in-character than I intended to...
Chapter 4/7 upload date: 12 IV 2014
Next chapter: 19 IV 2014
Review, if you liked the story!