Another Fanfiction! Muwahahahaha!!! Again, I wasn't planning on writing it, but I am anyways!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed before! Makes me happy to know people get a kick out of my insanity! And to answer a question, the last chapter was Alice's vision of what Emmett was planning on doing, but she stopped him before he could actually do something stupid.

Also, this story does NOT revolve around Emmett being, well, Emmett. Or, at least, the way that Emmett is in my mind. Emmett in my mind and book Emmett, two completely different people, but still! But, BEWARE THE OCC-NESS! BEWARE THE OCC-NESS! I am seriously hyped up right now, and should not be…

Again, I own nothing. Twilight is not mine, and sadly neither are the characters. Oh the fun I would have if they were!

So, on with the story!

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Bella's POV

I hate doing my math homework. A lot. Edward makes me feel so stupid sometimes, he is so good at everything! Arg. Speak of the devil…

"Bella, dear, I am sorry but you can no longer do your homework alone." He said in all seriousness.

"Why?" I asked. Maybe he was going to take me out somewhere fun! Maybe the family was going to do something, and I was invited, maybe…

"Jasper is home, and we don't want you to get another papercut."

Mind…off… Ok. I couldn't do my homework, not for some fun reason, not to do something else, but because JASPER WAS HOME!?! And to top it off…

"And I need to go hunting soon." He said.

"Ok, that's it Edward!" I fumed. "I AM NOT SOME FRAGILE LITTLE THING! How do you think that I lived before you came here?!? I mean, honestly. A papercut? Papercut, you are afraid of me getting a papercut?!?"
"Bella, honey, you are prone to accidents."
"Accidents my ass. I am going to Jacob's. He'll at least let me turn a FRICKIN' PAGE!!" I screamed.

"Bella, you know what I think…" he started, I interrupted.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK! What are you gonna do, stop me from seeing my friend? Honestly, overprotective twit! Take me to the border, NOW!"

"OK, dear, if that is what you really want…" he sulked, as he walked down stairs to start the car.

I called Jake, who was more than happy to have me come over for the night. He was rather surprised by the change of events, but happy none the less.

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AT THE BORDER

"Now, Bella, I need you to call me when you are ready to come home." Edward handed me the tiny, silver phone.

"Fine, Dad, I will see you later tonight. Do I have a curfew too?" I knew I was being petty and silly, but that did not stop me. He just sulked in the corner, kissed my hand, and I got out of the car.

I beamed when I saw Jacob. Man, it was going to be good to NOT be treated like I was made of glass!!

Of course, things never go according to plan…

Our evening of fun started out great enough. Hanging out in his living room, watching T.V. while doing my calculus, just me and Jacob like it was before.

"Hey Bells, it's been awhile since you've visited. I missed you!"

"Missed you too Jake!" I smiled up at him while I closed my calc book. Finally, I was done! And oh, wait for it, wait for it, NO PAPERCUT! "You want to go for a walk? My brain is fried, and I could use a stretch."
"Sure!" Jacob smiled my smile. "Sounds like a plan!"

Of course, Jake could never leave well enough alone. I really just want to be friends, he is like family, why does he have to keep complicating things?

As soon as we left his house, he grabbed my hand, spun me around, and said "Can I kiss you?"

"AARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!" I shouted. I stomped on his foot (nearly breaking my own in the process), turned around, and started stamping down the road. Stupid hormonal wolf. I whipped out my phone to call Edward to come and get me, then remembered I was mad at him too. Stupid overprotective vampire. Now what? I couldn't stay on the reservation, Jake would find me and try to finish what I didn't even want him to start. I couldn't call Edward, he would just take me home and lock me in my room with all of the paper and sharp corners removed. Stupid wolf, stupid vampire. Now what?

Hm… what is this? IDEA!!!!… wait, that sounds wrong. That's usually what Emmett says when he gets a BAD idea. Not the person I want rubbing off on me…

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20 MINUTES LATER

Edward's POV

*Sigh* I miss Bella. Why doesn't she understand that I only do these things to protect her? Does she honestly want to become vampire food, make Jasper feel bad that he can't control himself, and make me feel like it is all my fault and allow me to blame myself and wallow in self-pity for an entire series while I berate myself and think that I am not worthy and go attempt to kill myself because I have slipped into a great depression all because she cut herself at that stupid party! Wait… what?

*Sigh* Still miss Bella. I should go and wait at the border for her. Maybe, she can sense my presence and will be drawn to it and will come out sooner! Oh, I am a genius sometimes!

Jacob's POV

Man, where did Bella get to? I hadn't even convinced her that she loves me and not that cold, emotionless bastard. Granted, he is hot, but is that all that girl looks for? I'm hot too! Argh.

I bet I know where she went. Whenever she gets upset, she calls Edward and goes to wait for him at the border. That's probably where she is at right now. So much trouble for just one girl.

Hm… I am hungry, maybe I should go and get something to eat before I go over to the border…

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AT THE BORDER

Bella's POV

Stupid boys, I should throw rocks at them. And I can! Muwahaha! Wait, they are both so fast and strong, it wouldn't even faze them… STUPID FANTASY BOYS! Won't even allow me the pleasure of causing them physical pain! AAAARRRGGGHHH!

So, my brilliant idea did not turn out as fun as I thought it would. There is only one neutral piece of territory in all of Forks to get away from both Jacob and Edward…the border. The invisible, pretend line that the wolves and the vampires had agreed to. Neither party is willing to cross that line, nor are they willing to even get too close. Therefore, I am safe, completely and utterly safe, from those two buffoons right here!

I dug myself a hole and am currently setting up shop in no-man's (or wolf's, or vampire's) land. They can't get me here!

Edward's POV

I made it to the border in record time! Now, to wait for Bella to come to me. What is that pile of dirt out there?

Jacob's POV

HA! I see the filthy leech now, in his car that makes everyone around him feel inadequate, probably his purpose. But he is getting out and looking around, that means I am not too late and Bella hasn't left yet! Wait, why is there singing coming from that hole in the ground?

Bella's POV

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! There they are a-standing in a row! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, that's what the show-man said!" I sang at the top of my lungs. Although this hole I dug for myself was small, wet, and dirty (duh, it's a hole in the ground!), at least I was away from stupid boys who think they know what is best for me, better than I know what is best for myself. OH, I SMELL CHOCOLATE! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!

Wait…I just got a text message on Edward's phone…

Edward's POV

Silly Bella. Doesn't she know that she can get a cold sitting in a wet, dark hole? She is going to get sick, then get the plague, and then die a slow and painful death while I watch her and think that I can save her, but I can't because it would mean stealing her soul so I will instead watch her die while I contemplate ways to kill myself. *Sigh*

Wait, what was I trying to do? Oh, right, get Bella out of that hole. And I know her one weakness…

Jacob's POV

Sheesh, Bella can be silly sometimes. Luckily, I had just the gadget to get her out…. A fishing pole with a bar of chocolate attached to it! And, to make it even better, she will come back to me for now, and when she returns home she will be hyped up on a sugar high and will annoy that leech of hers to no end! Perfect!

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LATER THAT EVENING, SWAN RESIDENCE

Bella's POV

Well, that was an interesting evening. I finally gave up and returned home, of course, after that text Edward sent me, there was no way I was choosing chocolate over that!

"So, Edward, when do I get to use your hair gel?" I asked.

"Wait, what?" He asked.

"Well, that text you sent me said that I could have that which is most precious to you, and that would be your hair gel, right?"

"Um, Bella, that which is most precious to me is you in a padded jacket, wearing a helmet and a mouth guard, not my hair gel."

And thus began the curse heard round the world.

The end

I don't really know how I like this one. Not as funny as that first one, but of course I no longer have that chocolate cake. Of course, if I did and had consumed it, I would not be writing this but instead would be on the floor writhing in agony because it was so old.

Sorry for the wait. I just write these whenever I get an idea, and the ambition to write.

The hair gel idea, and the idea for this entire story, was borrowed from my crazy friends. So, thanks again to Alice and Bella.