Hey, everyone! Thanks for the reviews!
And to Rae Girl (hehe, nice :)) I'm afraid you'll just have to wait any see...*evil laugh* but I think one of your questions will be answered in this chapter. And that's a GREAT one shot idea, plenty of fun awkwardness! Are you going to get an account and write it? You should!!
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.
The four of them went sightseeing the next day, but they split up within an hour. Carly and Alex decided to ditch Sam and Freddie in favor of making out somewhere dark.
The entire time that they were together without Carly or Alex, Freddie didn't say anything about waking up to see Sam's arms wrapped around him. Sam had woken feeling very, very cold, and pulled the pillow over her head to block out the sound of Freddie singing in the shower. When he'd come out, he'd just greeted her with a cheerful "Good morning" and went down to grab breakfast, leaving Sam wondering whether the night before had just been a dream.
Seven o'clock found Freddie and Alex at a fancy-schmancy restaurant, dressed semi-casually. The snobby waiters eyed each wrinkle on the two men's shirts with revulsion. Already, Freddie decided the help was not getting a very big tip.
Carly and Sam showed up a few minutes later straight from the hotel; Carly in one of her many cocktail dresses, Sam in the same outfit she wore to Carly's wedding.
"I don't like dresses," she muttered unhappily. Freddie smiled, almost sympathetic.
"If it helps, you look fantastic."
He wasn't sure where that had come from, but it shut Sam up. Freddie pulled out her chair for her a little too far, and she fell on her butt as she tried to sit down. Carly and Alex choked back laughs, but Sam was not so easygoing about it.
"I'll get you back for that, Benson."
"I know." At least they were on the same footing again. He was not about to let awkward silences mark their relationship.
Their waiter turned out to be a waitress, and one who had taken a great (and fatal) liking to Freddie. The minute she sidled up to them, she was a giggling, eye-batting mess. "And what can I get you?"
Freddie half-smiled, not noticing Sam's death glare. "Um…how about the escargot?"
"You eat snails?" Sam said disgustedly. "Even I wouldn't do that."
"I think the escargot here is marvelous. A wonderful choice." The idiot winked at Freddie, who blushed a little. "And you?" she addressed Sam. Her voice was suddenly a lot more clipped.
"Do you have anything here that doesn't make people want to throw up?"
The waitress smirked, looking Sam up and down. It was obvious what she wanted to say: "We did, but then you got here." Instead, she just enunciated slowly, "We do. But I'm sure the children's menu would be perfect for you; it has smiley fries and grilled cheese on it." Carly's eyes went wide; this would not end well.
"You did not just say that to me."
Freddie prepared himself to break up the fight that was sure to ensue.
Sam grabbed the waitress's collar. "Listen up, bimbo, you'd better clean up your act, treat all your customers with respect, and stop making googly-eyes at my fiancée, or I'll make sure you never work anywhere again--anywhere that requires walking to, at least."
"You know what? How about we leave?" interrupted Alex. "I saw a fast food place down the street--"
Another waiter scurried over. "Ma'am! Please unhand Anna! What is the problem here?"
Sam shoved the terrified girl away. "Forget it. We won't be coming here again. Come on, Freddie."
He smiled apologetically at the two employees and followed Sam out. Carly and Alex did the same. No one said a word until they couldn't see the restaurant anymore. Then Sam rounded on Freddie.
"What the heck was that? You just let her flirt with you!"
He didn't know what to say. Was she really angry, or was she pretending for Alex and Carly? "Um…I'm sorry?"
"Like that makes anything better."
Freddie stepped close to her and hugged her--only as a ploy to be able to whisper to her. Really. "You wanna tell me what's going on? Why are you so mad?"
"I'm not," Sam said with some difficulty.
"Okay." Freddie figured if she had wanted him to back off, she would've said something. "You sounded really believable. You know, throwing the whole 'fiancée' thing in there."
"…Thanks."
He grinned and let go. "Now how about a burger? I'm pretty sure you've been waiting for some real food since lunch."
At the hotel, Freddie and Sam separated right away. Freddie was on the phone on one end of the room with his boss--he was currently employed by Seattle Beat Productions, thanks to his well-known iCarly producing experience. But even that couldn't fully get him off the hook for missing two weeks out of the blue.
Sam was busy trying to figure out how to get the infernal contraption everyone else called a necklace off of her throat. The clasp was too small--how did girls do this on a daily basis?
They both stopped when someone knocked on the door.
"It's probably Carly. Quick!" warned Freddie, jumping on the bed. Sam crawled into his arms and he yelled, "Come in, it's open!"
Carly and Alex entered, 'aw'ing and laughing at the sight of such a cute couple.
"We thought we might leave you these," Carly said, smiling wickedly and holding up a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs.
Freddie's eyes were a sight to see, as big as hubcaps.
"NO!" He pushed Sam out of his embrace and practically cowered against the headboard. The blonde nearly cracked up at this perfect opportunity to make him pay for embarrassing her at the restaurant, but truthfully, she wasn't sure if she could handle it, either. Poor Carly and Alex had no idea what was going on.
"What Freddie meant was, we promised not to do anything until we got married. So thanks, but no thanks."
The married couple exchanged guilty looks. "That's very noble of you," Carly said finally.
"Yeah…we definitely did not do that."
"I don't think they need to know the details, honey, apparently, they're still kids." The two cracked up like that was actually funny, and closed the door behind them.
"Way to act like a five-year-old, you nub. That totally didn't give anything away."
Freddie wished he could get any part of his dignity back, but that was impossible now. "Nice save."
"Whatevs. You need to lighten up."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Don't make me spell it out for you. Stop being so mopey and jumpy. If we're going to pretend, we might as well have some fun with it." At his expression, she sighed. "You are never going to grow up."
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