Braiding the dark brown waves of Ashley's hair, Steve Rogers was taking her for her first day in day-care while he goes to S.H.I.E.L.D to sort some paperwork. He wasn't too sure about leaving her home with Bucky, he wanted to trust him so badly but he's been waking up every night screaming for help, if not that he would be sneaking into Steve's room to do God know what, Steve never found out. He would always wake up and as soon as he said 'Bucky?' Bucky would snap out of whatever trance he was in and go back to his room.
"What dress do you want to wear today?" He asked, pointing at the two dresses on her bed. A pink dress with flowery sleeves and a blue and purple floral one.
"Blue." She simply said and Steve tied the end over her braid with a blue hair tie and helped her into the dress. The weather outside was too hot to wear trousers, at least he thought so. Helping her with the knee high socks, he let her try her shoes, she managed to get them on the right feet but struggled with the Velcro straps. Bucky was watching from the doorway, bowl of cornflakes in his right hand, shovelling them into his mouth with a plastic spoon.
"Where you going?" He'd not long been awake, most nights he was restless, tonight was a rare night he wasn't.
"Taking Ashley to day care." Steve replied simply "You coming to S.H.I.E.L.D today?" He asked, glancing up at the ex-HYDRA assassin.
"Not today, I think I might try and get some more rest." He yawned before taking the last mouthful of cereal. Steve just nodded and checked Ashley, making sure he didn't forget anything. She was dressed, she had a bath last night, she had banana Weetabix for breakfast, brushed her teeth, washed her hands... She was already potty trained, at least Melissa got that right.
"I think we got everything, right Ash?" He asked her, she nodded and smiled at him.
"Yeah!" She reached up for his hand and Bucky moved to the side as they made their way to the door.
About an hour later, Steve Rogers came back to his apartment after dropping Ashley off at day care, the first thing she did was wander off with a little brunette girl to play Princess. Steve was supposed to go to S.H.I.E.L.D but he had forgotten his wallet. Fumbling with his keys and pushing the door open, Steve met the most unexpected sight. The dining table was completely smashed up, the four matching chairs too. The table cloth was shredded up, vase smashed and the flowers he'd bought to brighten things up for Ashley were strewn around all over to floor, ripped into pieces. Reaching for his shield (which was buried under some coats) he made his way quietly to the kitchen. The room wasn't terribly destroyed, a few cups and plates smashed and the tea pot was dented and spout ripped off. It was dented with finger shapes. He heard a sniffle and cast his gaze to the corner of the room where Bucky sat, curled into a ball and holding something close to his chest. Walking over carefully, like a mouse trying not to tempt a cat, Steve managed to find his words.
"Bucky?" The brunets head snapped up, revealing a tear stained face. "What happened?" He put the shield down, kneeling in front of him.
"I-I lost control Steve. I lost control..." He stared down to the item in his hands, Steve realised it was a plastic cup he used to give Ashley her drinks.
"It's okay Buck, I'm here now-"
"It's not okay!" He started to cry again, this was a side of Bucky that pained Steve to see. "It's not! I could have hurt her!" He must mean Ashley, Steve sat next to Bucky and wrapped an arm around him.
"Ashley is safe, Buck. Besides, you gained control back when you saw the cup, right?"
"R-Right... I'm not safe for her to be around, I could hurt her!"
"I promise you, we'll make it work." Steve's eyes were red slightly, like he wanted to cry seeing his best friend like this. Only this wasn't his best friend, this was a broken man trying to be his best friend.
"How can it work?" The look he gave Steve clearly stated his disbelief, all his self disgust showing through his blue eyes.
"Because you got me, and I got you, that's all we ever used to need. Why is now any different?"
"Steve you have a daughter, I don't want to hurt her... No, Steve I'll go stay with Natalia or Clint-"
"Bucky please-"
"No!" He snapped, Steve's eyes widened slightly and Bucky's expression crumbled slowly. "No, Steve. I'm not letting you put her life at risk because of me. " Even Bucky knew it wasn't safe, he was still unstable and it nearly killed him when he remembered a child lived here. Look at what he had done to the house, Ashley might get hurt and Bucky couldn't do that without hurting himself afterwards.
Realising this was a pointless fight, Steve slumped against the wall and looked at Bucky.
"I'll call S.H.I.E.L.D tomorrow for you, they can help."
"What if they arrest me?"
"They'll give you a second chance, I know they will." He remembers when one of the other agents joined S.H.I.E.L.D, as long as their loyalties lay within S.H.I.E.L.D, and you prove they are, you should be fine. Natasha was offered a place in S.H.I.E.L.D this way, she lives in America under an extended visa authorized by S.H.I.E.L.D so long as she's faithful. She is, she's doing fine so far.
"I'll think about it, for now it's best I leave... I'll help clean up the broken furniture first."
"Don't worry about it, I'll call Natasha, though you may have to stay in Stark Tower."
"Howard's alive?" The question made Steve's face drop. Bucky frowned.
"No, his son Tony is though." Bucky didn't know the truth behind Howard's death, but the few times Steve mentioned Bucky, Tony had turned cold and rather angry, changing the subject. Steve always wondered how Tony would react to seeing Bucky, though his reaction was one most undesired.
Authors Note.
Sorry for the wait. I have bee very busy. It's GCSE year.