A/N: Well, after every chapter I write a bit more of the ending, which is really interesting and might actually leave open for a sequel, but I haven't decided yet/

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TWIMOM: I don't think Edward can kidnap her. He's got that whole stupid thing where she's got to have the choice of being free to do whatever she wants, and more than ever I think he's feeling like he had no part of her life. I think right now he knows that it's his fault but he is powerless to do anything: she hates him and he can't blame her for it. Stuff that happens in this chapter might change his mind though…also I'm still not sure about Rob. Why is he looking after her?? He could just kill her or turn her but he doesn't, there's a motive there…

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Blue October

Chapter Four

"What happened?" Alice asked the minute he caught up with them by the car.

"Nothing." Edward told her. "She's still human, she knows full well what her boyfriend gets up to and she doesn't care." He was still stunned. "She doesn't want anything to do with us, she truly hates us." If he could cry he thought he would. "Her hate has twisted her so much that she's practically one of us, or at least one of them." He shuddered at the sight of her with those eyes, and the tattoo highlighting where she was bitten. "The Bella we knew is dead."

Everyone was silent. Edward started to feel calmer, less lost, more like there was some sort of purpose to the world anymore.

"Please Jasper, let me feel this, I need to get over her." Edward said with his eyes shut. Jasper withdrew his powers, and Edward fell back into the blackness.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"You alright?" Rob was by her side in a second as she burst through the stage doors.

"Yeah, fine, why wouldn't I be?" Bella asked him.

"I smelt that freak, I was just on my way to kill him." He told her.

"Don't bother. It doesn't matter." Bella told him. "Anymore of those pills about? He proper ruined my coke buzz."

"Yeah, hold on." Rob put his arm around her shoulders and steered her back to the dressing room. She saw that he'd cleaned up after him, like usual. He passed her a little packet and she took two of the contents, swallowing them down with beer.

"Seriously though Bells, I'll kill him if you want me too." Rob told her.

"It's not worth it." Bella wrinkled her nose. "I fucking hate him." She spat, and shook her head. "But if we kill him his stupid 'family' will be on our case. They aren't like normal covens, they're closer, and they won't stop." She sighed. "I've seen how ruthlessly they'll kill your kind when one of theirs is threatened." She traced her tattoo absentmindedly.

"Yeah, I'll just kill all of them and be done with it." He said.

"Maybe, if they don't leave it." Bella told him. "Just leave it for now, Rob. It's going to be sunny for the next few days so they'll be in hiding anyway, and so will you."

"Yeah, I'll leave it for now." Rob told her, rolling a spliff. "But it's not over."

"Whatever." Bella told him. "Fuck I hate dressing rooms, let's go to a bar, enjoy your freedom whilst we've got it."

Rob grinned. "You got it babe." He kissed her, picking her up without breaking it, and carried her out of the room.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Edward usually enjoyed it when it was sunny. It gave him an excuse to stay away from humans, and he liked the way the sun felt on his skin. He felt free, most of the time, like he didn't have to hide, because he was already away from prying eyes, not having to pretend. But not today. Today he stepped into the sun decidedly, watched himself sparkle and hated himself for it. He had never hated himself more than that moment, and he had hated himself a lot in the last six years. He hated the sparkles, the abnormality, because he had hurt Bella because of it. He'd taken one of the most beautiful souls in existence and through his own selfish needs, twisted it into the darkest of creatures, practically living death, somehow further away .

He stood still, trying to phase out of the world, trying to turn to stone so he didn't have to exist anymore, feel like this anymore, until the sun set.

Alice approached him.

"Are you okay?" She asked. Silly question. She thought.

"Yeah." He told her. "It was a silly question."

"Edward we have to do something, this is Bella we're talking about." Alice said.

"Well we weren't but I guess the subject is unavoidable." He replied coldly.

"Our family has never been the same since we left her." Alice continued unperturbed. "She completed our unit, you know it as much as I do."

"So? I made a mistake." Edward still hadn't moved up to this point, but now he turned and put his hands in his hair, interlacing them behind his head and staring at her with an expression of agony. "I messed everything up. Bella's screwed up, everyone is miserable and I have no idea what to do!"

Alice watched him, her expression softened. "I'm sorry, Edward, this is really bad. I still think of Bella as my best friend and it hurts me too."

"I'm going for a walk." Edward told her. "Just…please, just shut up."

Alice watched him walk away and an intense feeling of love filled her. She turned to find Jasper behind her, watching her with careful eyes.

"Oh Jasper." She threw herself into his arms and dry sobbed, wishing bitterly that she could cry away the pain.

***

Edward didn't really know where he was going, but he walked at human speed along the street into town. He thought about a lot of things, but mostly he wondered what Bella was doing now, whether she and Rob were off somewhere doing drugs. He thought for a while about alcohol, and how he and Emmett had tried it once, the day after he had left Bella, and found that it had a buzz for them, but they had had to force themselves to throw up to get rid of it.

As he passed, the door to a bar banged open, spilling light out onto the dark pavement. Bella stumbled out giggling with a guy in tow. As they righted themselves, she pulled him to her and kissed him, and they fell over giggling again.

"Bella?" Edward walked forward. Where was Rob?

"Edward." She didn't look surprised to see him, but happens it was just that she didn't care if he was there or not. She sounded pleased, but she was very drunk.

"What are you doing?" He asked her.

"I'm heading home." She told him, getting to her feet and teetering on her high heeled boots. "This is Mike."

"Actually it's Greg." The guy laughed as she tried to right him as well, but almost fell over again. Edward stopped her from falling onto the street.

"Oh yeah that's right." She pushed Edward off and clung to him. "Come on."

"Bella you're going home with this guy?"

"Damn right she is." Greg squared up to Edward, and Edward inspected him. He was good looking in that generic human way, not really anything special, just like Newton, the kind of guy Bella should be with, he guessed. "You got a problem with that, boy?"

"No, I guess not." Edward forced the words out, when he saw the look on Bella's face. She was completely unconcerned.

"Damn right." Greg nodded again, and turned around taking Bella by the arm.

"Bye Edward." Bella called after him, almost taunting him. Edward followed, his heart open and wounded by the experience. He kept to the shadows, and saw them turn a corner and go into an apartment building. He stood outside, for hours he stood there, trying to decide what to do, whether he could do anything. After a while, Bella appeared again, her hair was messed up and her make up was smeared all over her face.

"You're better than this." He called after her, not being able to stop himself.

"You think so?" Bella asked him.

"Yes." Edward said. "Of course."

"You didn't." She turned and stormed off, still a little unsteady on her feet.

Suddenly he was in front of her.

"When didn't I?" He growled. He was angry at her, how dare she ruin the life he gave her back? How could she be this angry with him? Why didn't she see that he did it for her own good? She'd probably be dead now if he hadn't done it.

"When you left." She told him. "Just like everybody else."

"Who else?" Edward was surprised. Bella was becoming quite emotional in her inebriation, but the main feeling was still anger in her, he could tell.

"Who else?" Bella laughed. "Who else? Are you fucking kidding me? How about everyone! My mother basically kicks me out to be with Phil, you fucking leave me after tricking me into thinking I'm in love with you, Jacob tells me he loves me and then gets married to some girl he just met and my father marries his friend's widow and all of a sudden our house is too small for the fuck up drunk slut leech lover when she's got her perfect non fuck up puppies with her!" She laughed and walked ahead of him, shouting back at him. "I tried my best to be everyone's friend, to look after everyone and they all forgot me and just fucking left me all alone. You tell me where I fit in."

"Bella I…" He'd had no idea that she felt that way. He understood now, it wasn't just him, he could see why she would be so bitter.

"Fuck off Edward." She said. "You promised me I'd never see you again and I'd like you to fucking stick to at least one thing you told me. Just stick to that promise."

"Bella I'm sorry, I didn't meant for this to happen." Edward told her. "Look, please can we get you some coffee or something, you need to calm down. We really need to talk."

"Oh, you think I haven't been drunk before?" Bella asked him. "I've been drunk before Edward, a lot more fucking drunk than I am now." She turned to him, walking backwards and spreading her arms. "I'm still here aren't I? I'm doing better than I ever have before. I'm a fucking rock star. People fucking love me! People want me around! People actually notice me now! I'm wanted." She tripped and turned, falling onto her hands and knees. Edward was beside her in a second, trying to help her up, but she pushed him away. "Just fuck off!" She screamed at him. When she was on her feet again she turned to him. "Don't you understand? I never want to see you again! I hate you! I never want to see you or any of your family again. Can't you see? I'm so much above you now, I'm an international star you're even regarded as freaks in your own kind! You're not good enough to even kiss the ground I walk on." She was crying. "Just leave me alone!" She turned and ran, and as she did, something dropped from her bag, he picked it up, saw what it was, and then turned to see her retreating back halfway down the street, he stood frozen, just watching her go, once again, powerless.