Act II cont - The Black
"Jayne, if I cut you in half, would you have 'stupid' written all the way through?"
"What? Why?" The big man glared at Hank as they stood in the corner of the cargo bay behind a makeshift screen.
"It's your fault. You said it would be easy."
"You don't have to do it if'n you don't want to. Mal said."
"And Zoe said I had to." He tugged at the doublet he was trying on.
"You do everything Zoe says?"
Hank stared. "Did you just hear what you just said?"
Etta looked at them critically. "I'm going to have to let out the body on this one," she said, moving Jayne around so she could see the back of him. "But the length's right." She turned to Hank. "This one fits okay, but is too long in the arms."
"I can push 'em up," Hank offered, doing exactly that to the sleeves.
"They won't stay that way." Etta tutted under her breath. "Trouble is, Milo's built like an ape. His arms are longer than everyone else's."
"This his?" Hank looked down at himself.
"It's what he wears most often, yes." She smiled slightly. "Actors have habits they don't like to break. We believe they bring us good luck."
"Like carrying grenades," Jayne put in.
"I don't think she quite meant it like that," Hank said dryly.
"Same luck."
"At least Theo isn't insisting on the hose," Etta said quietly, studying Jayne's powerful thighs. "I'd never find any to fit you." She sighed. "Doesn't mean there's any less work to be done, though."
"Why don't you ask the doc?" Jayne suggested, trying to make more room inside the tight doublet by flexing his muscles. "He's pretty good at stitching."
"I don't think sewing up bullet holes and stab wounds is quite the same," Hank pointed out.
"Still a needle and thread."
Etta nodded slowly. "Even if he can only sew on a button, that might help."
"Anything to not have to learn lines," Hank added quietly.
"I'll go ask him." Jayne strode out from behind the screen, and came face to face with Mal in the centre of the bay. "Mal, what the tyen shiao duh …" He stammered to a halt, lost for words, at least for a moment.
"What?" Mal asked, turning, fabric flowing out from his hips.
"Looks like you're wearing a dress."
"You think?"
"My Ma had something like it once. Hated it on her, too."
"You're just jealous."
"Jealous? Of what?"
"Because you never get to wear one."
"You think I want to?"
Mal smoothed the fabric over his chest. "Thought I'd try out for one of the female roles. Like Theo said they used to have." He looked up. "Think it'll work?"
"I think Frey's gonna have words 'bout you in a skirt."
"Why? Just means I'm more ready for action with her."
Jayne actually blushed, just a little on the tips of his ears. "Mal, that ain't the kinda thing you oughtta be saying around people like this."
"People like what?" Mal stepped towards him, his eyebrows raised.
"Ya heard what Theo said. About some actors being sly …"
"You think it's catching?"
"Don't wanna find out."
Mal had backed him against one of the stacks of boxes. "Really?"
"You try'n kiss me, I'll …"
"You'll what, Jayne?" Mal asked, leaning towards him and pouting a little.
"I'll think of something."
"Sounds romantic." He tapped Jayne's shoulder coquettishly, and had to restrain from laughing as the big man pulled away as fast as possible.
"Captain, leave him alone. He's feeling fragile." River stepped into the bay. "And that colour suits you."
"You think?" Mal looked down at the blue material. "I wasn't sure whether to go with the brown."
"Goes with your eyes." She turned her own on Jayne. "And that isn't a dress," she said softly. "It's formal robes for the master of the revels."
"Come again?"
She took his hand and squeezed it. "You look nice," she said, attempting to change the subject.
He was about to say he felt like he should be parading down Whore's Alley, but was interrupted by the rest of the crew filing into the bay, shepherded inside by Theo.
"Ready?" he boomed, his usual bonhomie back in place.
"Not sure if that's the right word," Mal said, "but looks like we're all here."
"Good." Theo started handing out copies of the text he'd printed from the Cortex. "It's not all just dressing up," he said, smiling at everyone. "We do actually have to put on a play, and that's going to take work." He clapped his hands and his troupe appeared from various corners and behind props. "We'll act out what we can, and you can see how the play unfolds." He turned to his wife. "Etta, you'll have to read Hermia, as we don't have -"
"I'll do it," River said quickly.
Theo looked at her. "Are you sure?"
"'And in the wood, where often you and I, upon faint primrose-beds, were wont to lie, emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet, there my Lysander and myself shall meet, and thence from Athens turn away our eyes to seek new friends and stranger companies.'" Her voice carried into the superstructure, clear and word-perfect.
"How …" Theo stood amazed.
"I read it last night," River admitted. "I know it all."
A slow smile spread across Theo's face. "My dear, you are any manager's dream come true." He looked around his cast. "And now we're all met, I think it is time to begin."
With the dining table moved back, there was just enough space for a tiny stage, and Theo led Etta into the centre.
"'Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace …'" Theo as Theseus began.
Until a while later …
"'… and each several chamber bless through this palace with sweet peace, ever shall in safety rest, and the owner of it blest. Trip away, make no stay: meet me all by break of day.'"
As Theo as Oberon's final words fell into silence, Kaylee couldn't help herself. She started to applaud, the others joining in in fits and starts, until the cargo bay was filled with the sound of clapping.
The actors moved forwards, variously bowing and curtseying, basking in the glow of adoration.
"Ah, an actor's ambrosia," Theo said, beaming. He turned to River, standing wide-eyed. "And you did magnificently, my dear. You have a natural talent." He took her hand and bowed over it.
River dropped in a deep curtsey. "Thank you, kind sir."
Simon, sitting with his arm around Kaylee, Bethany at his feet, couldn't help but smile widely. His sister, her abilities, being lauded by this man of the theatre.
Theo stood straight, turning to his audience. "There is a final speech, made by Puck, but as it stands I'm not sure who's going to play him. The boys could read in his lines, of course, and I've cut a number of the less integral speeches, but … it's an important part. I'm not sure anyone can actually double up -"
"Sir?" Hermione stood up. "Can I try?"
"The man said it was a him, Noni," Mal said quietly, one arm circling Freya's waist.
"I did," Theo agreed. "But Puck is a spirit, a sprite … and I've seen him played very successfully by girls." He looked at Hermione. "You'd like to try?"
"Yes, sir."
He put his large hand on her shoulder. "Then Puck you shall be. You'll have to study hard over the next two days, but we'll all help."
"Thank you." She blushed and sat down again next to Inara, who put her arm around her.
"Well done," she said, and Noni grinned, holding her script close to her chest.
"Can I be a fairy, Daddy?" Ethan said, looking up at his father from where he sat on the decking.
"Of course you can, young Master Reynolds," Theo said.
Ethan turned his blue eyes on the big man. "And Jesse?"
"And me?" Bethany put in.
"All the babes." Theo laughed. "Our forest is going to be full of sprites."
The little boy grinned and clapped his hands.
"Well," Theo said, smiling at everyone. "It appears we are all called to this place in good order. I suggest we take ten minutes to refresh ourselves, then I will tell you what parts you will have and we shall begin rehearsals in earnest." He looked at Mal. "If that's all right with you, captain."
"Long as my boat don't fall out the sky while you've got my mechanic enthralled, I conjure it'll be fine."
"Then to work!"
---
"They're what?" Janith lifted her head to stare into Mikel's eyes.
"Putting the Dream on. Theo's managed to persuade the captain of that ship and his crew to take part."
"You mean he's …" She stopped herself before she said too much, before she made it clear it wasn't Theo she was thinking of.
"I wish I was there. Theo may be a great man, but … this isn't likely to go well." Mikel couldn't help it - he laughed.
Janith pulled at the golden hairs on his chest. "That's not fair. I'm sure they're going to do their best. And it's not Theo's fault that Pol can't get Cressida back on line."
"Pol thinks it's deliberate." Mikel ran his hands through her long brown hair.
"What?"
"That someone's sabotaging us."
"That's ridiculous."
"I said that, but she kept going on about it being different systems all the time, and that they couldn't just go like that."
"But they patently are." She kissed his naked chest, just above his well-defined abs.
"She won't believe it."
"So does she think it's one of us?"
Mikel laughed again, his naked body vibrating under Janith's. "I said to her, what do we know about ships?"
"Quite right." She nipped his skin with her teeth, making him hiss with pleasure and forget the entire conversation as the blood fled his brain.
---
The next two days were filled with rehearsals in the cargo bay, sewing relays in the dining area, and the occasional streams of Chinese obscenities as lines were forgotten and cues missed.
At one point Mal encountered Zoe in the corridor outside the engine room.
"Hiding, sir?" she asked.
"Just keeping out of the way. You?"
"Absolutely."
"You know, it never occurred to me before, but there were times during the war that were actually preferable to this."
"I know what you mean, sir."
"Why'd I say yes to this?"
"Because you're a soft touch, sir."
"Really? I figured it was feminine wiles."
"That too."
"Mal, Theo wants to go over the opening again," Hank called up the stairs.
Mal looked at his first mate. "Next time I even consider saying yes to something like this, shoot me."
"No problem, sir."
And now it was almost time.
River put down her brush and surveyed the backdrop for the forest. She had let her imagination run riot, making it full of dark shadows and half-seen images, of centaurs and unicorns, wild men and masks.
"My dear, you are amazing," Theo said, standing back and staring during a break. "I would never have believed it could look so awe-inspiring."
"Too much?" she asked, her head on one side.
"No. Not at all. I always thought there should be something a little dangerous about it."
She smiled. "Then we're ready."
"You may be," Mal said, walking down the stairs from the bridge. "The rest of us feel like we're been dumped in the deep end with our hands tied."
"You'll be fine," Theo assured him.
"I need to wash," River said, looking at the multi-colours all over her hands.
"Well, stop by the infirmary on your way," Mal ordered. "Your brother said you haven't been to get your hormones checked the last couple of days."
"Been busy."
"Albatross, you know the deal. Hormones checked or locked in the shuttle. Your choice."
"Kuh ooh duh lao bao jurn," she muttered, then looked up guiltily, her face the image of her niece's.
"Don't care what you think of me," Mal said, successfully hiding a smile. "Infirmary."
"Yes sir, captain," River said, ripping off a smart salute then running out of the cargo bay.
Theo watched her go, then turned to the other man. "I haven't liked to ask before but … is that young lady pregnant?"
Mal nodded. "Yep. Her and Jayne've been an item for a while now."
"I'll let Dana know."
"Dana?"
Theo nodded. "Toby mentioned that she'd been talking about your man. Being very complimentary about him."
"Ah. Yeah, better let her know he's taken. River won't take kindly to someone trying to muscle in on her territory."
"The trouble is Dana tends not to listen. I wouldn't want the mother-to-be hurt in any way."
Mal smiled a little. "Theo, I'd put my money on River. Believe me."
"Mal, we're landing in five." Hank's voice echoed through the ship.
He crossed to the com. "Thanks, Hank. Got the right co-ordinates?"
"Exactly what Theo gave me."
"Shiny." Mal released the com switch and looked at Theo. "So, what's the plan?"
"I'll go and see Mr Carson while the boys set up. Toby will show you what to do, where to put things. There should be chairs ready for the audience that will need to be put out, but otherwise it's just going over your lines again."
Mal swallowed, feeling just a hint of nerves up his spine. "Glad I'm just reading it. You sure they won't mind?"
"My dear Captain, I've cut your lines as close to the bone as possible, and I know you're getting familiar with them. If you need to use the book, do, but no-one is going to complain. Not with the great Hawkins in the lead role."
"That how you see yourself?" Mal asked, smiling slightly.
"In here, on board your vessel, you are captain. But out there, on that stage, I am God." He turned, stalking away.
"He really feels like that, doesn't he?" Mal murmured.
Freya came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest. "I think he does."
"Is this going to work?"
"He thinks so."
Mal turned, holding her against him. "What about you?"
She smiled, snuggling as close as possible. "Have you seen the look on Hermione's face? And River's? They're adoring this. And as for Bethany in that little costume of hers …"
"Oh, I know they're having the time of their lives. But is it going to work?"
"It's theatre, Mal. As soon as the lights go down and the curtain rises, you'll see the magic."
"Ain't got a curtain."
"Just imagine we have."