(A/N): Hi, guys! So just for a bit of info, in this fic, the brothers are all 27! Sage is 26 and Damian is 6 - so she had him when she was 20 ;)

4. Return

"Though a tree grows ever so high, the falling leaves return to the root."

- Malawian Proverb

Leo's stomach growled for the seventh time in the last two hours. What he wouldn't kill to have some pizza.

The cargo hold he was currently hiding in was hot and clammy. He could feel the dampness in the air. It made his mask stick to his face and his neck. Sweat was dripping down his back, inside his shell. There were several animal cages around and the smell was absolutely nauseating. Leo wasn't exactly sure if he was currently on board an illegal trading ship but even if he was, there wasn't much he could do about it now.

It was very dark. He could barely see his own three fingered hands. But Leo wasn't scared of the dark. After all he had been trained in the arts of nijintsu and raised in the shadows. In fact, he found the darkness quite peaceful.

He had tried to meditate soon after the ship sailed, but it was useless. No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't get his mind to focus. Images of his brothers kept assaulting him: Donatello's gigantic grin as he finished setting up their new Battle Shell; Mikey's puppy dog eyes as he tried to convince Leo to let him have a stray cat he'd found lost in the sewers; and Raph's cocky smirk after winning a sparring match with him.

Raph...

Leo felt a heavy weight on his chest as he thought about Raphael again. They were always at each other's throats; that's how it had been since they were kids. He knew Raphael was short-tempered and proud which was what made it so fun for Leo to tease him when they were young. When they grew up, however, it wasn't just simple bickering and taunting anymore. As their personalities became more and more defined, the more they clashed. Leo was responsible, disciplined, assertive. He had firm beliefs and honors and he was set to follow them. While Raph... well, Raph was a force of nature. He was stubborn and passionate. He always wanted to do things his way and he rarely ever thought those things through.

A part of Leo envied his brother's freedom of spirit. He spoke from the heart and he always said what he was thinking without hesitating, and Leo couldn't do that. He had to assess everything before speaking and he was unable to be honest about his true feelings.

Thinking about Raph brought Leo back to the day he had decided to leave the lair. He wasn't having a good day to begin with so when his loud-mouthed brother suddenly barged into the dojo, where he had been practicing solo kata patterns, arguing about the lock down he had installed earlier that morning to stop Raph from going out alone, Leo exploded.

It started with them yelling and throwing insults at each other like usual but it soon escalated into a heated fight. Leo remembered a lot of punches in the gut and nearly as many kicks in the shins. He remembered Raph giving him a swollen black eye, a busted lip and whole lot of bruises all over. What scared him was what he didn't remember. In the middle of the fight his mind became foggy, clouded with a blazing red and he stopped feeling or seeing. He was simply overwhelmed with a raging urge to hurt. To annihilate.

The fog dissipated when he realized Donnie was holding him back, screaming in a state of utter horror. Leonardo felt all color drain from his face.

Raph was standing in front of him panting heavily. He also had a busted lip plus a busted eye ridge, several cuts in his cheeks and bruises in his legs. There was blood dripping down his right arm; it was a lot of blood. Leo saw the long deep gash in his brother's bicep and the cut on Mikey's plastron as he held Raph up, and then he looked down at his own hand holding his sword stained with blood.

Shaking his head, Leo returned to the present. He didn't even remember drawing his sword out in the first place... that was the terrifying true.

Even though he still didn't trust himself to be around his brothers and even though he was still completely lost, Leo knew he couldn't stay away anymore. Not when Michelangelo was missing.

He just hoped the ship arrived in New York soon.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" Mikey asked her again, making her smile wider.

"I'm positive, Mikey. You should go home, I'm sure your brothers are worried sick. You haven't been home in a month. If my brother disappeared on me like that I would go insane," she told him.

Michelangelo dropped his gaze to the ground, suddenly feeling guilty. He knew she was right. He was certain Donnie was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when he left that night, especially with everything going on with Raph, so he could only imagine how he must've been feeling with him going all M.I.A. Of course Raph would be a complete wreck too. Mikey knew his hot-tempered brother was blaming himself for losing him, Raphael was that type of guy. And Master Splinter wouldn't be all that pleased either. Mikey was probably in for a very long and harsh lecture once he got home.

"What is it?" Sage brought a hand to his cheek.

He shook his head and flashed her a sheepish smile. "Nothing, babe, I just realized I'm going to be grounded for the rest of my poor turtle life."

Sage laughed good-naturedly. "Oh Mikey, you're twenty-seven. I hardly think your father's going to ground a grown up... turtle," she smirked.

"Yeah well, you obviously don't know Splinter!"

"I'd love to meet him some day though." She got up from the couch, stretching her arms over her head. "I'd love to meet all of them actually."

Mikey stared at her befuddled. Was she serious? "Really? I mean you really wanna meet a giant rat and two other giant turtles?"

"Why not? I told you Mikey, I like weird things." It was his turn to laugh.

"Yeah I see that!" Standing up as well, Mikey moved towards her and enveloped her in his bulky arms. "I'd love for them to meet you too, Sage."

She smiled, enjoying the tender warmth of her now best friend. It was pretty amazing how they had grown so close in the month they'd been living together. Mikey often helped her with cooking and cleaning. Sometimes he would come with her to her veterinary clinic and help her out with some of her furry patients without anyone seeing him. For some reason he was extremely good with animals. When they were home he would always play with Damian, and they would all sit and watch movies as well.

Sage would be lying if she said she wouldn't miss him. He kept her company. He comforted her and made her smile when she was sad. There was very little she hadn't told Michelangelo about her past and there was nothing she wouldn't tell him now. She trusted him whole-heartedly.

"I have a favor I need you to do for me," she started. When he raised an eye ridge, Sage pulled away from him and went to her vault behind the painting. "I want you to take the scroll with you. I think it'll be safer in the sewers with all of you to protect it."

"What do you mean? I thought your brother said it wouldn't put you in danger."

"Mikey, I haven't trusted Rowan since he quit the navy to do whatever he's doing at night. No one knows in what sort of mess he's gotten himself into for the last three years so I think it's safe to say I shouldn't keep an ancient Nordic scroll made of gold that comes from god knows where."

"Good point," he agreed. "Sure I'll take it with me. Maybe my brother Don can figure out what it is."

She nodded, handing him the scroll. As he secured it in his belt, Saige watched him with a clenching heart, knowing very well he would be leaving soon. It was so hard to say goodbye.

"Will you visit?" she asked, crossing her arms over her red blouse, hugging herself.

Mikey gazed into her beautiful sea green eyes. He found a deep sadness inside them, which only made his departure harder. She hadn't been fine since the night her brother stopped by. Rowan had told her a lot of things she didn't deserve and, as far as Mikey knew, he hadn't called to apologize.

She had already gone through so much, he thought. He wished he could stay with her and make her life a bit more exciting. They were great together; he found in her the best friend he could ever hope for.

He flashed her his signature grin. "Of course I'll visit, babe! And look, I'll write down the directions to our lair so you can find me if you ever need to."

"Thank you, Mikey... really, for everything."

"Don't thank me, Sage." His eyes softened as he put a curl behind her ear. "You saved my life, you gave me a place to stay with food and hot water and you filled my days with good moments."

Mikey loved the way her eyes sparkled with his words. "So promise; promise you'll stop by if you ever need me."

Sage smiled. "I promise."

Raphael leaned back into the chair, stretching his arms over his head, feeling quite full and satisfied. There was nothing like dinner with April and Casey, he thought. Homemade meals really were a thousand times better than pizza.

It was nearly eleven pm, he noticed. Soon he would have to go back out there and resume his search for Mikey. He had been searching for a whole month but still nothing.

He was staying a bit longer though. Raph was tired and he missed the company of his best friend, as well as April's of course. He always felt at home with the two of them, especially at their place. Raph loved how cozy the T2 apartment was. It also made him extremely happy to know the second room they had was his to use whenever he needed and wanted to.

"Thanks for dinner, April, it was real good," he said, flashing a grin at the red-head.

"You're welcome, Raph. I wish you'd stay for dinner more often, being alone with this knucklehead gets boring sometimes."

"Hey!"

She showed him her tongue. He pouted like a toddler, making her chuckle and rub the crown of his head fondly. "You're such a sensitive sissy, Casey," she teased him.

"I ain't not! Yer lucky I love ya, gal, or I'd make ya regret dat," he mocked threatened.

Raphael watched them bicker back and forth with a familiar strangling sensation creeping up his throat. He envied them so much. He always wondered what love felt like. Real love. For a woman, not for his own brothers and father. Sometimes he thought he would never feel it.

It wasn't like he was an innocent when it came to the female gender. After all he had been around his fair shair of aliens and mutated females, and he was always very curious and very impulsive. He'd done a little exploring, but he hadn't liked it. At least not in the way he was hoping he would. They hadn't felt... right underneath him. Their skin didn't have the right texture. Their body didn't fit his. If they had hair, it didn't smell like he imagined it would. None of them felt right.

The only one he'd ever talked to about that stuff was Casey. He doubted his brothers ever tried to experiment like he had and Raph knew his best friend would understand because he was far more exerienced than any of them when it came to women, or females in his case. And he was right; Casey did understand him. To a point. He told Raph sometimes people just didn't fit together so it was normal for him to want to be with someone who did. When Raph asked him why didn't he fit with females who seemed to match his species, Casey didn't know how to answer. After a while he said maybe he supposed to be with a human. Raph had openly laughed at that but Casey insisted.

"You guys are more human dan turtle," he had said, "so it's normal fer you t' be attracted t' women."

As Casey's words echoed in his head, he was assaulted by the image of a woman he saw the other night. Raph had been taking a break from his night patrols and he had sat down on top of a chimney, staring into the vastness of the sky and the city lights of New York - the city he grew up to love. Then he saw her; she was in the balcony of her room, leaning casually over the railing with the wind blowing on her dark luscious curls and the moonlight shinning on her beautiful eyes. She had eyes like the sea. The sight of her had made his heart race, thumping louder in his chest.

Since that moment there wasn't a single night when Raph wouldn't dream of her and his longing deepened each time. He wanted to know her name. He wanted to hear her voice, watch her up close, get to know her. But as soon as he woke up reality rushed over. He knew who he was - a violent, impatient, stubborn, insensible giant mutant turtle. So Raph never went back to see her again. As if a human woman would ever see him.

Raph sighed dejectedly. April was brought back from her and her husband's playful bickering by the sound.

"What's wrong, Raph? Are you thinking about what I told you about Leo?" He shrugged.

"Dat too, but... I was just t'inkin' about how you too are so great t'gether y'know? I wonder what dat's like..." Raph trailed off, suddenly feeling shy and self-conscious.

April and Casey exchanged a look.

"Oh Raph..." She reached for his hand across the dinner table but he quickly pulled away. She frowned. "There is nothing wrong with wanting love in your life, you deserve it as much as anyone else. My mother once told me there is someone for everybody. It may take a long time to figure out who your someone is and when you do find them things may not work out but we were not meant to be alone in this world."

"I hardly t'ink yer mother was talkin' about mutant turtles when she gave ya dat speech," he scoffed.

Her eyes softened. "It doesn't matter what differentiates you and us, Raph, what matters is what brings us together."

"Yeah right..."

April was about to refute when Raph's shellcell went off. He picked it up and answered. There was a moment of silence as he listened and April and Casey watched his whole face lit with a thooty grin.

"He is?! Oh t'ank shell! Yeah yeah I'm goin' right now! Don't start de lecture wit'out me ya hear?" Raph stood up after hanging up, moving towards the window. "Sorry 'bout dis guys but Mikey's back in de lair!"

"Really?!" they both echoed, a wave of relief rushing over the couple.

"Go go, Raph! We'll stop by later!" April shouted after him as he jumped off the window with a nod and a dismissing wave. She looked at her husband's smirk and raised a perfectly shaped red eyebrow. "What?"

"Oh not'in', I was just picturin' the shitload Mikey's gonna get from everyone," he answered, cracking up.

April rolled her eyes but she broke into a smile at that.