Clare's POV:

I wiped off all the heavy black eye makeup on my eyelids, adding another cotton ball to the growing pile of them on my sink. I really wore a lot of makeup today but that was the point. I was adding layer upon layer, anything to help mask what really was wrong. What I was really was feeling. After I finished I moved onto cleaning off my cheeks that were decked with streaky black lines left by the tears that had fallen earlier.

It had happened. They said the actual words, the ones that I have been dreading for a long time.

"Clare, we are getting a divorce."

Eli was right. They had already decided and there was nothing that I could do about it. I didn't know what I was going to do and the one person who I wanted to talk to, did not want anything to do with me and deservedly so. I wouldn't have either, not after the way I treated him. I didn't even know how I would be able to look him in the eyes again. Oh, those green eyes. I could not get the image of them staring at me filled with a mix of anger, hurt, and even worst, disgust, out of my head. I never thought I would ever cause someone to look at me like that. Me. Saint Clare.

After I finished cleaning up in the bathroom, I went into my bedroom to change. I stood in front of the mirror and began slowly peeling off all of my clothes. The black corset, the ripped plaid skirt, the fishnet tights…they all felt so foreign to me now. They were like a costume made for someone else to wear. Stripped down to only my underwear, I stared at myself in the mirror. Physically I knew nothing was changing, but I still felt so different. I just didn't feel right, like I was put together wrong but I knew that had to be because I was feeling like parts of me were missing. My mom. My dad. My usual stability. And now, Eli?

As soon as I thought of his name, fresh tears sprung into my eyes. My legs wobbled and I let myself crumple to the ground. I was just so tired of pretending to be strong. I was not strong. I was so very, very weak. I pressed my cheek against the hardwood floor of my bedroom and just let myself cry.

Eli's POV:

"This is wrong. I'm doing this all wrong," I thought angrily to myself as I walked down my street. I turned the music up louder, trying to distract myself from replaying over and over in my head what had happened earlier that day. Nothing was helping me. I couldn't lose myself in the lyrics like I am usually able to.

"She is the one who hurt me. She's the one who screwed up this time. So why am I feeling so damn guilty?" I asked myself.

After I said those things to her in the hall and she had offered up those pitiful excuses, it took every ounce of strength I had not to give in and go back to her.

I wanted her to know how angry I was, so why couldn't I just stay angry?

I already knew my answer.

"I can't stand hurting Clare," I whispered out loud as I kicked up some leaves, making them swirl in the wind. After I saw how much I had hurt her with my part in Vegas night, I swore that I could never hurt her again.

Sure, that may be a promise that I could never realistically keep, I'm only human after all, but I felt like I wasn't even trying to keep that promise right now. I've always had a temper. I could blame it on the bullies that I've experienced in my life, or because I had parents who always encourage me to express myself so matter what, or maybe I'm still just really angry about what's happened in my life…whatever the reason, my temper has been my downfall many, many times and I'm letting it happen again. I'm letting my anger get the best of me. Have I learned nothing from losing Julia?

I reached into the pocket of my black jacket, picked up my cell phone, quickly dialed a number and waited as it began to ring. It rang and rang.

"Hi, this is Clare. Sorry I'm not able to answer…" I wanted to talk to Clare, not some voicemail box so I snapped my phone shut.

I started to run back towards my house. My mom was outside putting letters into the mailbox.

"What's the hurry Eli?" she asked as I hopped into my hearse.

"I've got to talk to Clare," as I shut the car door. She nodded in approval. I'm sure she was getting sick of me brooding around the house. She waved as I pulled out of the driveway. I drove over as quickly as I could to the Edwards home. I took a deep breath as I turned off the ignition. I was not in a big hurry to see the Edwards again, but Clare was too important right now, so I swallowed my pride and walked up to the door. I rang the doorbell. Mrs. Edwards answered.

"Oh, hello Eli," she said.

"Hello Mrs. Edwards. Um, is Clare home?"

Mrs. Edwards nodded, "she's upstairs. Please, come in. She's been having a rough day. Maybe you can talk to her?" She opened the door further and I stepped inside.

"Clare's room is upstairs. The second door on your right," she said pointing before she disappeared into the kitchen.

I gave her a quick smile and raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I knocked on the door. I heard a muffled voice reply. I thought it said "come in" so I slowly opened the door and went inside.

"Clare, it's me...oh my God!" I said as I saw her. She was lying on the floor, only dressed in her bra and panties.

"Eli!" she shouted scrambling off the floor.

I stood in shock at the sight of her, her ivory skin being set off by the color blue of her matching underwear. My mind went blank but I quickly flipped around so I was facing the door and my back was facing her. I had to take a few breaths.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I thought you said come in!," I stammered.

"Well, at least shut the door so my mom doesn't come in here and sees this!" she whispered loudly. I shut the door quickly and kept my back to her. I could hear her shuffling around, drawers being opened and shut.

"What are you doing here Eli?"

"What were you doing, lying on the floor like that Clare?"

"I don't know. I was just so tired. I think I fell asleep," she said. "You can turn around now."

I slowly turned back around. She was wearing a soft white blouse and pale blue jeans. Her hair was back to its natural curls and she was not wearing any makeup except for the natural blush in her cheeks that I'm sure mirrored my own. She looked so beautiful at the moment. This was the Clare that I knew.

"I came here because I wanted to say that I'm sorry," I said.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" she asked. "I'm the one who has been screwing up. All you did was be honest. This was all my fault."

"Look, I'm not going to lie to you and say that you didn't hurt me. You did. I felt really used," I took a deep breath and looked into her blue eyes.

"But I also know that you have a lot going on right now that might not be making you think very clearly. I know that I can do and say things when I'm upset that I wouldn't otherwise, why should I think that you don't too?"

"Please know that I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt you," she said wrapping her arms tightly around herself.

"Clare…" I said as I walked up to her. I pulled her arms off from her body and wrapped them around mine.

"Do you still want me Eli? Even after all this?"

"I'm always wanting you, Clare" I replied. "Just do me a favor, no more punk clothing experiments okay?" I said with a smile.

She laughed, "I think I can handle that."

I didn't want to wait any longer. I leaned in and kissed her and didn't stop kissing her for a long time.