Disclaimer: I still don't own Criminal Minds and because of that, JJ and Emily still haven't hooked up.
"Well?" JJ asked, devoid of emotion.
"Well, what?" Emily responded, unsure what was going on.
"Well, I was down in the lobby thinking. Thinking a lot. We used to be best friends, Emily. I used to be the person that you came to with things, all kinds. I don't know why you can't talk to me about what's going on, but I know you're seeing someone. I didn't know until this morning and Morgan asked me if I thought you looked like you'd spent all night drinking and I'm guessing he was going to say having sex because that's certainly how you looked. I'm sorry about whatever I did that pushed you away. I want my best friend back, Emily. Talk to me about the new guy. Let me back in. Then maybe I can help you through the other things that are going on."
"It's really not that easy, Jay. I wish it was." Emily replied, appearing on the verge of tears.
JJ kicked her shoes off and threw her jacket over a chair before approaching the bed. She crawled in front of Emily, before sitting, both knees touching Emily's and taking her hands in her own. "I know I said some mean and hurtful things to you earlier Emily, I'm sorry. I had a lot of time to think and I'm not going to let you push me away anymore. You need to open up. I think your compartment inventory is full, so let some things out. It'll help, I promise." JJ spoke affectionately, rubbing her thumbs over the tops of Emily's hands.
"I don't know, Jay. I can try, I just don't even really know where to start?" Emily spoke, nearly breaking at the feeling of JJ's hands caressing her own.
"You can start with telling me who your new lover is? Its Mick Rawson isn't it? I knew you two had gone on a date, I didn't realize it was serious." JJ spoke with a smile on her face.
"No!" Emily replied hastily, then backpedaled slightly, "no, JJ, he's polite, funny, a pretty good guy, great actually. Hell, he'd probably make a good husband. It's just…" Emily paused briefly trying to decipher what to say next.
JJ took this as a sign that she was done speaking, "He sounds pretty much perfect then, so what's the problem?" JJ asked, furrowing her brow trying to determine where the problem was.
Emily looked up into JJ's face and was met with a pair of sad, understanding blue eyes. Emily knew she should be able to share her love life with her best friend; it's just a little more complicated when your best friend becomes your love life. How was she going to get through this?
"Well, JJ, the problem is that, well, it's that he's… he's just… I'm not sure how to say it."
JJ squeezed Emily's hands to ensure she was listening and waiting, "tell me when you're ready. It can't be that bad. Or wait, is the sex bad? Because you know, sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad it's still pretty good. At least you're getting some."
Chuckling a little before beginning, "He's just, well, here we go." Dropping her chin a bit to not have to see the look passing through JJ's eyes when she made her admission, she continued, "He's the wrong gender for me, JJ." There, I said it. I told her I'm gay… in a round about way.
"Oh, wow. I had no idea." JJ stated unwilling to mention how she had remembered the way Emily's eyes wandered her partially unclothed body early. Removing her hands from Emily's to grip the sides of her face to turn her eyes towards her. She was met with sad, tear-rimmed, coffee-colored orbs that tugged at her heart. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Were you afraid I'd judge you?" Emily nodded slightly but didn't speak. "Listen to me, Emily" JJ stated, rubbing her thumbs lightly over the corners of Emily's eyes to catch the tears that were about to spill from her eyes. "You're my best friend. It doesn't matter to me who you fall in love with, Ok? I just want you to be happy, and I want you to know that you can always come to me with anything."
Emily smiled slightly, then nodded, "Thank you JJ. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
JJ smiled back devilishly and asked, "so, are you going to tell me about her, or what? I can't have my best friend love sick over a girl with no one to talk to."
Emily was unsure how to proceed. "How can you be so sure that there is a girl?" Emily asked, eyes down cast.
"Well, first of all." JJ turned Emily's head back up to look her in the eyes, and she smiled into the dark chocolate orbs, "You've been rather bitchy towards me for the last couple of months, unwilling to meet up outside of the office. I assume you're busy with her and your bitchiness was a result of something relationship-wise."
"I've really been that big of a bitch?" Emily asked, smiling playfully. JJ smiled even wider, realizing her playful banter was accepted and reciprocated.
"Oh yeah, but it's Ok. I understand now. As I was saying though; when I walked in the room you were on the phone. As soon as I got inside you said you were no longer alone and had to go. I can only assume the conversation was personal, maybe even a little dirty." JJ said chuckling and wagging her eye brows. "Tell me about her. I may not be a profiler, but you're an even worse liar, so spill it Prentiss."
Emily mulled over this information in her head for a few moments. I could just tell her. I could be honest with her, tell her about the girl as if it wasn't her. I can't very well lie to her and tell her there isn't a girl; she's made it perfectly clear that she already knows anyway.
A smile formed on Emily's lips and a twinkle in her eye before speaking, "I don't know how to explain it. I need some way to put her into words, but its difficult trying to explain someone to someone else so that they know the way your heart beats out of control every time you're around them. You know what I mean?"
JJ grinned as she listened to her friend speak, "Aww, I can't wait to hear more. Keep going."
Emily continued, "She's just that girl. THAT girl. The one that you want with every pore in your body, but you just can't have for one reason or another. And she has no idea because I won't let her. Part of me wants to tell her every time I see her, but how would I start that conversation? 'Hey, I think I'm madly in-love with you and I have no idea why'? Somehow I don't see that working." Blushing slightly her eyes met JJ's to see her reaction. She couldn't believe she had just said all of that.
"Wow, so you never told her? Why not?" JJ asked, not fully understanding how you could feel so strongly for someone and not tell them. In the back of her mind a feeling started creeping its way into her conscious mind, jealousy. JJ was jealous of this nameless, faceless girl, but why?
"I've wanted to. Boy, have I ever, but she's straight and we've kind of been friends for a few years so it would just complicate things immensely. I don't have a lot of friends as it is so I can't risk losing her friendship. I've been trying to box her up in one of my compartments, but I don't know, I guess maybe she's claustrophobic, because she doesn't stay put for very long. She always finds some way to resurface and remind me." Emily rambled on finally letting go, tears falling down her face, forgetting momentarily that she was talking to the object of her affection and not just to herself.
JJ didn't say anything in response, instead she pushed herself up off of the bed and grabbed one of the two pillows sitting behind Emily and threw it onto the floor, positioning the other against the headboard. She sat herself down behind Emily, legs on either side and grabbed her shoulders to lean the older woman's back to her front. JJ rested her chin on Emily's shoulder and ran her fingers down both of Emily's forearms then laced their fingers together. She wrapped their joined arms across Emily's midsection, before speaking.
"She's missing out." JJ finally whispered against Emily's ear. "From the way you speak of her, she sounds amazing. It's too bad for her that she can't see what's right in front of her."
Emily closed her eyes to relish the closeness, ever the realist, knowing this wouldn't last nearly long enough.
JJ watched hers and Emily's conjoined reflection in the mirror on the wall across from the foot of the bed for a few minutes. Emily's head was leaned against hers, eyes closed, looking… breathtaking? Is that the right word? Instead of allowing her mind to travel down the path of not-so-straight thoughts she hadn't explored since college, she cast her eyes a different direction. She leaned her head forward to rest her nose against Emily's shoulder to breathe in the scent of her subtle perfume mixed with the aroma of her body wash. JJ couldn't help letting her eyes run down the top of Emily's tank focusing on the crevasse between her breasts. Jennifer internally chastised herself, 'so much for not letting your curiosity get the better of you Jareau! Have you listened to nothing she said? She's in-love with somebody, and it's not you!'
Meanwhile, Emily was trying to memorize the feel of JJ's body pressed against hers. 'Her hands feel so soft on my skin, and her breasts against my back, I could get used to… oh god, is she breathing against my neck? I can't be responsible for any noise my body may make feeling that hot breath on my skin. Now her nose is pressed to my shoulder. I can feel her lips against my shoulder. She's not kissing me though, they're just existing against my skin. Mmm, what I wouldn't give to have her kiss any part of me right now. I wonder if she even realizes what she's causing to happen underneath those hands draped across my midsection.'
JJ broke their comfortable silence, "We should probably get some rest, don't you think?"
"Mmm, I guess you're right. I don't really want to move though. I'm comfortable." Emily said, with a sad undertone in her voice; eyes still closed. This is going to be a long night; I can't tell her that I need to take a shower, a cold one, definitely a cold one, because I just took one less than an hour ago.
"You don't have to. I can sleep in the other bed so you can just lay back and sleep." JJ replied.
It wasn't exactly what Emily had meant, but she couldn't very well admit that right now, so she replied simply, "thanks. Thanks for being my friend, and for letting me be lazy."
"Of course" JJ said as she wrapped both of her arms a little tighter around Emily from behind to give her a reassuring squeeze. "You, Emily Prentiss, are a catch." She continued smiling before placing a quick kiss to Emily's temple before moving to stand up.