WARNING: This chapter is graphic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things with Ma had started better than Trey had expected. She made an effort to clean the house and had even sprung for a place that let Trey have his own room. Between her job at the diner and a day job cleaning at a motel Trey didn't get to see her a lot but when she was home they spent time together, slowly working past the hurt and pain of the last 12 years. Ryan and Seth had even come over for the odd weekend. Ryan had been quietly impressed, allowing his mom to give him a kiss on the head and tell her that she loved him. Seth and Dawn actually shared the same quirky taste in pop culture and had some surprising arguments about old films and great old music. Dawn had allowed him some weekends with the Cohens where Kirsten would buy him expensive clothing and Sandy would gently rib him about girls. Things were going so well that Trey should have known it would last forever.
During the first few weeks when Trey had called Ryan his little brother always picked up the phone with a worried edge as though he was expecting Trey to be begging him to pick him up. There is an easiness now that his mind is put at ease and Trey talks to his Newport family almost every day. Since his mom had to work all summer Kirsten and Sandy had suggested him staying with them so he could spend his time on the beach instead of the inner city. Trey basically runs home from school and bursts through the door with the excited question on his lips.
Dawn is on the couch crying, a bottle of tequila in one hand and a pink slip in the other.
"Mom?" Trey whispers sounding way younger than his twelve years.
"They laid me off." Dawn says with a sob taking a swig out of the bottle. "What are we gonna do baby?" There's a slur in her words as she looks at Trey with watery eyes. Uneasily Trey backs out of the living room to his bedroom. For a brief moment his hand moves to press the Cohen speed dial. On a heavy sigh he shakes his head resolutely chuckling to himself. It's not like this is so bad. So she got laid off and is a little sad Trey can understand that. It's not like last time. She said it would never be like last time.
Dawn keeps her job at the restaurant but she doesn't get all the shifts like she used to. When Trey asks her about it she says not to worry that she wants some nights to spend with him. Trey spends all his nights alone so he has a feeling that whatever she's doing on those nights off he doesn't want to know. He tells Ryan that things are going great because hearing the relief and happiness in his little brother's voice is the only thing that makes Trey smile these days. Ryan wants to come down for a weekend when Seth is at some Comic convention with Zach but Trey makes up a lame excuse about being busy. Ryan hesitates at that but changes the subject on to more neutral territory.
The next time Trey comes home from school to find his Mom crying over tequila she's lost her job at the diner. She's not keeping the house clean the way she used to and Trey hates having to come home to clean up her caked dishes of mac and cheese and wash filthy sheets. Sometimes he misses Newport so much it hurts. He doesn't call there anymore. Sandy has called a couple time but Trey doesn't take the calls. On a heavy sigh Trey walks out of the school building almost dreading what he'll find when he gets home.
"Trey." Trey's head instinctively turns towards the familiar voice. Sandy's suit and beamer look out of place in comparison to the faded Fords and junkers in the school parking lot. A little part of Trey wants to run up and throw his arms around Sandy but a bigger part of him knows that this is where he belongs. He won't leave Chino and he can't sashay from Chino to Newport without his heart snapping from jealousy.
"Mr. Cohen." Sandy looks surprised at the formality but covers it quickly as his eyes dart over Trey obviously for any signs of abuse or neglect. Trey stiffens at the inspection.
"How are you doing kiddo? We haven't heard from you in a while." The slight bit of kindness in Sandy's voice makes Trey's tenuous temper snap.
"You're not my Dad." Trey hollars back ignoring the slightly stung look on Sandy's face. "Just stop calling, stop coming around just leave me alone!" Trey spins stomps off leaving Sandy gaping in confusion.
Trey blinks his eyes heavily willing tears not to fall as he walks the three blocks home. They didn't understand. He was in this alone. He has always been in this alone. Ryan got his fucking silver lining and Trey was glad for that, but more than glad he was jealous and hurt. A bright red 'For Rent' sign leans crookedly on their driveway. Mom had lost the waitressing job and they couldn't afford the rent anymore. In about two weeks they were gonna get thrown out. He wasn't sure what was going to happen then.
A little giggle comes from the living room and Trey halts in confusion because his Momma hasn't been laughing a whole lot lately.
"Mom?" Trey asks uncomfortably. Dawn rolls of the couch with another embarrassed giggle moment later a bigger, tattooed man sits up on the couch.
"Trey meet Roger." Dawn says before laughing at her own formality. Trey glances over the look of Roger's sculpted muscles and the fading tear drop tattoo underneath the imposing man's eyes. A convicted murderer Trey swallows hard giving his head a little nod before vanishing into his room and drawing his knees up to his chest. He can't believe this is happening again.
Roger becomes a permanent fixture very quickly. He doesn't say much to Trey and Trey spends as little time as humanly possible at home. Most of the time he's smoking pot under Arturo's porch or drinking with some of the older kids. Kirsten, Sandy, Seth and Ryan all leave him messages but he doesn't listen to them. If his mom knew he still had the phone she'd be pissed. He was meant to get rid of it weeks ago. Suddenly his door bursts open loud and insistent.
"Trey pack your bags we're leaving."Dawn is drunk and crying with a black, swollen eye but for a moment Trey thinks that she's getting them away from Roger.
"What? Mom where are we going?" Trey asks a little helplessly.
"Susan wants the rent now. We don't got money for the rent now. We'll find some place new." Dawn says with false enthusiasm.
"Wait Ma I got some – " Ryan reaches under his mattress pulling out the money he carefully saved, the money that Cohen's sent him for books and new clothes. No matter what he said he couldn't stop it.
"You had this all this time?" Trey nods after a moment's hesitation. He always figured that she knew about the money. Roger, who has been surreptitiously listening to the conversation suddenly gets up from the couch.
"You had $100 fucking dollars and you've been living off us like leeches." Trey backs away from Roger cringing when he hits the corner. Trey hadn't been hiding it he figured they new. He bought his own food, his own clothing, never asked for anything where did they think he was getting the money from Santa Claus?
The backhand stings worse than Trey remembers and he slides his eyes over to his mother who just takes a sip of vodka straight from the bottle.
"Come on Trey we gotta hit the road." Judging from the look on Roger's face he's gotta do this now so he quickly throws his clothes into an old Harbour gym bag, his mouth quirking ironically at the emblem on the bag, before throwing it over their shoulder.
They drive for awhile and soon Trey realizes that they have no real destination in mind. He knows better than to ask and soon the car rumbles to a stop in an alleyway.
"You move from this car boy and you won't sit for a month." Trey's pretty sure that's the first sentence Roger's spoken to him since he 'moved in'. Trey nods watching as Roger leads his Mother to the entrance of a cheap motel. By the time an hour rolls around Trey realizes that they aren't getting him a room just them. The night isn't particularly cold but it's windy and the dark alley and the sounds of yelling and sirens make Trey fiercely ache for his bed in Newport. Trey swallows hard, refusing to let his mind go there as he spreads one of his sweatshirts over him like a blanket and tries not to think about the neighbourhood and the cold.
Mom comes out the next morning announcing the have somewhere to live.
The cardboard on the windows and the boarded up doors is the immediate clue that something is wrong. The next clue is the other people. Strung out guy named Liam with track marks up his arms and four teeth missing. Lilly is next with big red lips and vacant eyes, her noses bleeds and Trey's not sure but he assumes it from some drug. Others come in and out but apparently Lilly, Liam and Trey's fucked up family seem to be the only permanent residence. He doesn't have a mattress and doesn't like the look of the couch. Mom has her own bedroom and when Trey sees a beefy biker leave money on the nightstand he realizes how she's paying for the drugs.
"Kid." Trey looks up at Roger. "Where's the rest of your money." Trey laughs harshly at that because if he had money he wouldn't be wearing these threadbare jeans and a shirt that was ripe for laundry.
"I don't have any." Roger slaps Trey but Trey doesn't flinch. He's used to it by now.
"Your pathetic." Trey spits back not sure if he's talking about himself or Roger or his mother or maybe all of them. Trey hears the bone snap in his nose before he can feel it.
"Where's the fucking money?" Roger shoves Trey back until falls over an empty bottle. Soon Rogers ripping through everything Trey's clothes. He stops when he sees the journal Trey painstakingly kept. His English teacher still thinks he's a good writer. He said that all writers kept journals, that the worst memories make the best books. Trey feels his back prickle as Roger opens it, skimming through the pages with hatred. The ripping of the book sends Trey running at him.
"No! Stop." Roger snears, ripping the pages again before kicking Trey into the stomach causing him to fly into the wall.
"Fucking waste of space." Trey holds his breath until Roger leaves, satisfied with Trey's black eye and broken nose for nose. He reaches his tongue up experimentally to taste the iron before wiping it away with the back of his hand. Painstakingly he gathers the ripped pages of his journal off the floor, shoving them back in his bag. One day he'll put the pieces back together.
Dawn's cutting lines of coke on the table with a razor. Roger has a hand down her pants and spreads her legs further. Trey crinkles his nose in disgust slipping out the door onto the patio. He never thought he'd be so glad for school.
"Trey." Trey freezes at the familiar voice and turns around to face his little brother who is standing at the school entrance, his face a mask of concern and relief. Ryan had grown slightly over the last few months and his light blonde hair had darkened to a sandy colour. Trey noted that he had chosen well-worn jeans and a fading t-shirt for the trip. If anything his brother knew how to blend in.
XOXO
He recognized that look on his brother's face. The first time he saw it Trey was five and their father had strapped him for the first time. He didn't want Ryan to know he was hurt so he pretended like he wasn't but Ryan, even at four, could see that his brother had just aged 20 years. It was the same now. One eye was dark and bruised and Ryan could hope all he want that his brother got it from baseball or horsing around with his friends but he knew.
"How's it going LB?" Trey's voice is horse and weak and he just sounds like every fiber of his body is exhausted.
"Good Trey everything is good." Ryan says steadily looking into his brother's pained eyes. "How are you holding up? I went by the place but..."
"We moved, some place bigger." It's a boldface lie but Ryan nods. He hates that his brother has to protect his pride around him but this isn't about their relationship this is about Trey being alright, the rest they can fix later.
"Cool. I just – I just needed to see if you were ok. You never pick up anymore." Ryan knows it sounds like an accusation.
"Well we got different lives now Ryan." Trey says with a strained smile that almost looks cruel. "Go back to Newport." With that his brother turns heading into class.
"Trey!" Ryan calls out desperately wanting to hug him. When they still lived with Dawn Trey always protected him. The few times he couldn't he would make up stories as he iced Ryan's bruises even poking fun at himself just to make him laugh and be a kid again. Ryan never held his brother at arms length and hates that Trey is doing it now.
"Just stay out of my fucking life ok?" Trey growls with a rage that Ryan has never had directed at him.
"I'm not your goddamn charity case just leave me alone." The words don't sting as much as the empty hatred in his brother's eyes. For a moment Ryan swears he sees a flicker of regret, apology, love but just as soon it's gone.
"If I ever see you down here again you'll be going back to Newport in an ambulance." With that Trey turns on his heel leaving Ryan standing alone in the school courtyard wondering what the hell happened to his brother.
Trey doesn't come home for two days after that. Arturo lets him sleep on his floor and the two drink even if Trey refuses to do drugs. After seeing Liam put his hand through a window during a bad trip Trey refuses anything harder than vodka. More than anything he's petrified of turning into his mother.
When he gets 'home' his mother and Roger are out and it's just Liam and some of his druggie friends. Liam takes notice of his entrance for possible the first time ever and pokes one of the guys beside him.
"That's the kid." Liam's friend is big in the steroids kind of way and from the looks of him isn't in to the meth or coke that Liam deals out of here. He rakes his eyes over Trey in a way that makes Trey truly uncomfortable.
"He'll do."
"Yo Troy you're gonna settle a debt for me alright." Liam says with a little laugh taking a hit off his pipe. "Marcus here really likes you." Trey doesn't like the sounds of that and immediately heads towards the door. Marcus is quicker than he looks though and he instantly throws Trey to the ground. Frightened Trey tries to scrambles away but the man is bigger than he is and pulls him back by his ankle. The rug burn barely worms its way into Trey's consciousness when the man flips him over.
"Any more struggling and I'll break your neck." Marcus growls in his ear resting a chunky, hot forearm on on the back of Trey's neck. Trey doesn't doubt his word and goes completely still even as the pants are ripped from his body.
Marcus' hand wanders down below his boxer line and he laugh when Trey weakly tries to move under his grip.
"Didn't you hear what I said boy?" Marcus hoists him up, holding him round the neck as he drives in to him. His meaty arm cuts of Trey's oxygen and he starts to see spots as he hears Marcus grunt.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Trey never thought he'd be relieved to her Roger's voice. Marcus' hands leave Trey's dick and the man hadn't entered him yet. He's still reeling in humiliation and hope when Roger pulls him to his feet.
"Can't fucking stay out of trouble can you?" Roger growls but there is something more than pure anger in Roger's eyes and Trey wonders if he should be thanking him.
"Just stay oughta the way." Suddenly Trey feels himself being propelled into a cupboard. At least this form of humiliation he knows. Everything from the inside out feels icy and numb. Trey curls up against the far war and for the first time since he left the Cohen's he sobs. He can't even more. He just sits there shaking.
It's hours later when Roger opens the closet and Trey scurries back from the light, petrified more than ever before.
"Get the fuck oughta this house you snivelling brat." There's a layer of disgust in Roger's voice and Trey knows he is as disgusting as he feels. Trey somehow manages to get to his feet. He'll go where no one can find him. He can't go to the Cohen's now. Trey can't be near his little brother not like this, not when he could stain him with his filth. Trey doesn't belong anywhere.
Trey looks at his mom desperately, one last chance. She looks away. His own mother doesn't think he's worth protecting.
A wail of a siren suddenly turns the attention away from Trey and there is a flurry of dramatic activity. Everyone starts flushing and yelling. Liam breaks through a window and Dawn tries to make a run for it. Trey doesn't run, he can't be bothered and he know the others won't make it far. Sure enough he sees his mother being dragged back into the room as she sobs.
"It's not mine. It's not mine." She wails as a police officer cuffs him.
"Please I was just here to try and bring my son home." A police officer's eyes swivel to Trey in disbelief.
"Cuff 'em all don't take any chances." Dawn looks away as the cold metal snaps around Trey's wrists.
XOXO
"Ryan? Come on family movie night it's your turn to pick." Ryan shakes his head and looks back over the ocean. Nothing in their family had been alright since Trey left, since Trey had gone missing. School had been out for the summer and even the private detectives Kirsten hired hadn't seen hide nor hair of the boy since. Seth and Ryan rarely spoke except to each other and Sandy knows that they had both made covert trips to Chino.
"It's supposed to be Trey's night to pick." Ryan whispers softly. Sandy sits on the bed beside the boy with a sigh before putting an arm around him. After a moment's hesitation Ryan turns into Sandy with a slight sob.
"We'll find him kiddo. We're doing everything we can." Lots of blame had been tossed around about the Trey scenario. Seth had blamed Kirsten who had blamed Sandy who had blamed himself. Ryan, the sole logical one at this point, had furiously blamed Dawn. Surprise and cautious agreement settled over all four and the family had tightened together as they waited impatiently for Trey to call.
Sandy's phone rings and he rubs a hand up and down Ryan's arm as he picks it up.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Cohen. This is Cole from the station." Sandy's frown deepens.
"Cole...what can I do for you at 7 on a Saturday." Cole chuckles on the other line before turning serious.
"Mr. Cohen we have Trey Atwood."
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