It might be a while before I upload the next actual chapter to this story, so to keep you busy, here's my first Omake.
Hope you enjoy.
Omake #1: Cooking, Guest Starring Saber/Lancer
"Woah..."
"Who's that?"
"Damn! She looks hot!"
"Jesus christ, that's a big spear."
The phantom thieves, Shirou, and Rin were currently gathered around the Emiya-Tohsaka apartment kitchen, with 2 strange looking figures.
One of them was clad in a skintight blue outfit, with an extremely long, deadly looking red spear.
The other one was a beautiful blond woman with blue and silver armor.
"Alright!" Shirou smiled and stood up, grabbing the attention of the group. "Do any of you know how to cook?"
"I can do it quite well." Makoto replied.
"I can cook curry..." Akira said.
"Nope. No can do." Ryuji exclaimed.
"I think I can..." Answered Ann.
"I'm a cat."
"I have been dying to learn the art of cooking for long. Surely, it shall complete my journey to become a true artist!" Yosuke stood up and announced.
"Mostly it was my maids..." Haru looked rather dejected.
Meanwhile, the two servants in the room had the same response.
"We forgot."
Shirou sighed.
They had a lot of work to do.
...
Cu Chulainn stood tall, his spear held in a tight grasp beside him. The spear swinging hero had emerged from countless battles victorious, with his wit and his weapon alone. In front of him, lies one final test. One final great, almighty challenge for the hero to overcome, to claim his title of a worthy hero.
He tightens his grasp on his spear, readjusting his feet and form, ready to strike.
"Dude, what the fuck is he doing?"
"Dunno, but it looks cool. Let's just wait and see."
He summons his true power, the strength within his weapon, as he draws it and jumps high into the air. Narrowing his eyes, he grasps his target within his field of view, and tightens his muscles around his arm to strike. His will, iron clad. His soul, filled with raging willpower. His eyes filled with a fire of determination as he prepares to strike.
'This is my last chance! My final shot!'
"Here I come!" A pause. Utter silence. Calm before the storm.
"GAE BOLG!"
Cu Chulainn throws his mighty spear at his target, his throw striking true, towards the heart of his enemy. The spear bursts it open, turning it into a splash of red, and drilling through the wall behind it.
Then, Rin came out of the bathroom.
"What. The. Fuck happened to the wall?"
"Rin... We have insurance, right?" Shirou carefully asked.
The sound of cracking knuckles could be heard.
After about 5 minutes, Cu Chulainn met his end.
"Shirou...?" Rin asked.
"Hmm?"
"What's... Saber doing?"
...
...
...
"Oh no."
...
"DIE! DIE, FILTHY PEASANTS! HAHAHAHA! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FUCKING REVOLT AGAINST ME? YOU FUCKING MONGRELS!?" Saber swung the Excalibur at one enemy after another.
"AAAAH! MY EYE! MY FUCKING EYE! YOU... YOU FILTHY PEASANT! HOW DARE YOU! I AM YOUR KING, YOU FILTHY FUCKING MONGREL! AAAH! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
Saber chopped another onion into two.
"Rin...?"
"...Yes?"
"Has saber been hanging out with Gilgamesh?"
"I... Don't really know."
"You think we should just leave her to do her thing?"
"My heart says no but my brain says yes."
"I think... You should listen to your brain this time." Shirou concluded.
"Bro, is this like just another tuesday for you?" Ryuji asked.
Shirou looked at Ryuji and nodded.
"Dude..." Ryuji had a dead serious look on his face.
"You gotta let me live with you."
...
I don't know why this became a thing. Blame it on boredom.