* Hi! Thank you to those who marked this story as favorite or/and followed!
To LavenderMoonRose: Wow, that's quite a pressure :D Well, the story just began, so I'm certainly not ready to finish it yet. But to make it clear, I solemnly swear that I WILL NOT abandon this story and its characters until I find (and publish) a proper ending that will satisfy both me and the readers (which is why reviews are important; even if sometimes, it feels more like a crack-fic). I'll keep your review in mind when I'll have a writer's block :) Thank you for it, by the way!
Oh, and before I forget, I still do not own Fairy Tail or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Only the plot is mine :)
That settled, let's get back to business!
Chapter 4: Holding the Line (or not)
This meant war.
Here's what happened. After receving that rather upsetting letter (if you could call that a letter), Lucy went to her usual meeting with Erza and Gray to share their impressions. Every swearword they knew were used, until they settled finally on a new plan. She (once again) would have to call them. As in on the phone.... Crap. She was always hopeless on the phone! When she wouldn't stutter half of the things she should say, the rest would be nervously yelled!
But after arguing, negociating and begging, she resigned herself.
So they prepared. A lot. Then, after a few tricky improvisations, they esteemed she was ready.
She had to do it at a precise hour, where she wouldn't be too sleepy or too excited, which would prevent her to utter coherent sentences, and at home, with an environnment that would make her relax. Nothing could go wrong this way. It would be easy. It HAD to be.
But then came the disaster. She could have not noticed it at first, until several events occured. First, Aquarius was grumpy because they had suddenly received a brand new product and she didn't know where to put it. Customers began to take this product and some of the most familiar ones smiled curiously at her. So of course, she found it fishy. Thus leading her to actually look at it.
The bar on itself seemed quite normal, with the name of the Dragneel factory on it, except for the smell of cinnamon melting with the one of chocolate and its orange colour. This smell was even that familiar as she wore it regularly as a perfume. But then, she noticed.
"To express my deep interest concerning the chocolate..."
No. Freaking. Way.
It was her hanwriting. (plus her perfume, she found it quite creepy, but decided that she maybe was over-interpretating it... after some time meditating).
So this led her to that. Here she was, on break, with her phone, calling the factory with the number she found with Erza and Gray.
"Dragneel Chocolate Factory, I listen to thee"
"Er... Hello, I'm Lucy Heartfilia, checkout girl at Celestials and Groceries. I would like to talk to Mr Dragneel, please. There's one product that... "
"One moment, please."
And the opening song began. It was quite similar to "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead", but it seemed like chipmuncks had decided to sing it under the influence of extasy. Quite spooky. But maybe... quite hypnotiiiizzziiiinggg...
But then, a mysterious and deep voice appeared on the other side of the line, breaking her bubble.
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"Uh?"
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"But I haven't even had time to specify what was the problem yet!"
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
" Oh, shut up!"
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"I need to go to the loo..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"Ugh..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
"Mmm... Just let me die in peace..."
"Hold the line, we will proceed to your request."
On the back of her mind, she could almost hear echoes: "Hold the line, hold the line, hold the line, hold the line, hold the line, hold the line, hold the line, holine, holine, holine, holine, holine, holine, holine..."
"Arrh!"
"Hold the line, we will ..."
"... ?"
"..."
"Finally!"
"Perfect Quality service on line. I'm sorry, but our products are made to be perfectly perfect, assuring them to be in perfect accordance with our perfect quality chart. The perfect quality chart contains 5 perfect rules such as Perfect Sweetness, Perfect Bitterness, Perfect Darkness, Perfect Lightness and Perfect Holiness. You may find our brochure at the advertizing displaying in your television. Make sure to insert only your hand in the screen. Please take note that we will not take responsability for consequences of misconducts such as becoming miniaturized, invisible or being sent to the past."
The voice was sweet, so sweet that it was sickening. But it wasn't the voice of the one she wanted to talk with. It was a woman's, with quite an arrogant air in it and a very fast way to speak. It was even that fast that Lucy did not understand everything at first. And what were these 5 things? That didn't even make sense!
"You... I mean... What?"
"We appreciate your concerns about the factory and wish to assure you of its very perfect well-being. Have a perfect day!"
"... No, wait!"
Too late. Pissed off, Lucy called again. The irritating voice came again on the other line.
"Dragneel Chocolate Factory, I listen to thee"
"Lucy Heartfilia, once again..."
"One moment, ple-..."
"NO! NO MOMENT! I want to talk to Mr Dragneel immediatly!"
"Mr Dragneel is unavailable for the moment. May I take a message?"
"YES! TELL HIM THAT ..."
The rest was censored in her mind. She just knew that it was really insulting and quite unrealistic, and involved somehow a magic wand, ropes and cinnamon. All her frustrations contained since a long long time exploded like a big balloon under the form of actual words, sentences, that had its own formal logic, but that made no sense at all to a common person. When she had finished, she felt lighter and she wondered if freedom had such a sweet taste.
Then she realised. She was so screwed. There was no chance for her to enter the factory ever again. Learning that, Gray would strangle her with his over-stretched arms. Erza would revive her, kill her once again and chop off the pieces. No one would cry for her, not even her dog Plue (could dogs cry? She began to wonder). The pink-haired boy and that cheeky Igneel Dragneel would laugh on her tomb. Her landlady would take her clothes for herself. That. Was. Hell.
When she returned to work, she was so depressed that it scared the customers who prefered the safety of sweet, shy Aries to the waiting-for-the-incoming-doom Lucy Heartfilia. Even Aquarius didn't dare to disturb her and prefered to spend some time with her boyfriend at his office nearby (Lucy heard he worked in the building trade, with all that renovation stuff. She just knew that each time he went to the shop, she had to clean up the mess as he always left behind him a lot of sand, which was really annoying).
That last thought distracted her a bit, but she soon returned to her depressed state. Minute after minute, hour after hour... Her mood did not improve.
She finished earlier that day. Exhausted, she went directly to bed, hoping the whole day was just some crazy nightmare caused by her apprehension and that she would finally wake up.
And she did wake up, with a smile on her face. She was prepared to seize the day. To gain more confidence, she dressed up, humming some foreign song (that sounded a lot like "Ding Dong the witch is dead"). She drank a hot and sooo niiice chocolate and went to check her mails.
She had two. One smelt fishy. She opened it.
.
Juvia knows what you've been doing with Master Gray yesterday.
.
Lucy frowned. She thought she had already seen that sentence somewhere. Then she shrugged, rolled her eyes and put it in the bin. That wasn't the first time. She looked at the last mail.
Nice enveloppe, red stamp of the Dragneel chocolate factory, smell of chocolate. She began to fear that her nightmare was not a nightmare, after all... and that doom was near. With her shaky hands, she opened and read it.
.
"Nice one, weirdo : D
PS: What is a Balrog, by the way?"
.
Oh crap.