A/N: I ballsed up!. This is should have been the end of chapter 2, but I uploaded only half and didn't realise until I was going back through it. I had been using the app to upload but will strictly only used laptop from now on. Thank you for all the follows and favourites so far, I really appreciate them. I'm still trying to figure this story out. If there's anything you like/dislike please let me know.
"Fuck, Fuck fuuuuuck".
What the fuck was she going to do now? Quinn had been or possibly was still in Lima. She didn't know what to do with this information other than walk from one side of her small living-room to the other pacing frantically while playing with a plastic chip in the pocket of her coat that she hadn't managed to take off. Quinn could be in town. The town she was in. the town that she jogged through every day. She walked to her bay window and looked out as though she was looking for her. As though through the darkening late afternoon she would be able to pick up her scent and hone in on her like some sort of weird ass predator.
To top it off Shelby had kept it a secret, which to be fair was probably the best idea considering the eruption of feelings that where going on inside her at this present moment. She would be lying if she said reaching for a bottle wasn't her initial thought when she walked away from Shelby. It was always her thought. When she woke in the morning, when she was happy, when she was sad, when she was angry. When she was hungry and basically every moment in between. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out the plastic chip and looked at it. Really looked at it, probably for the first time since it was given to her a few days ago. She had been proud, proud to have made it 60 days and then sad, so very sad that this is what her life had equated to.
Her cell began ringing again and she sighed, it was the twentieth time since she had walked away. She hated the fact it was false. Everything with Shelby was false. She didn't care about Rachel not really. She saw the difference when she looked at Beth, she saw the love, the compassion, the pride. But when Shelby turned her eyes to her all she seen was disappointment. Rachel had fallen and reached out to the one person she had left and that one person hated her for it. She didn't understand why she was even bothering to call her now. Rachel was in her apartment. Where she should be, Shelby would surely know if she wasn't soon enough.
After pacing for another 30 minutes she finally calmed down. The coat came off and she threw herself down onto the fabric sofa. Her head lulling back and eyes closing, she tried to forget about today. She tried to forget about Quinn. She tried to forget about everything. Even tried to forget about the foreign object that was digging into the skin of her hip, she was tired, far too tired to even care that it was sore. It was another 5 minutes before she shifted and reached down the inside of the sofa and pulled the iPad out from her skin.
She looks at it like it's the first time she's ever seen it. It seems heavier than it should be. Her fingers slid up the side of it until they could go no further and she pushes on the obstacle to bring the screen to life. She shouldn't be doing this, it's not healthy behaviour. Yet she can't stop herself. In two pushes to the screen, she's in Instagram and she's searched for Quinn. It wasn't hard/ it took her all of 60 seconds. She sighed of disappointment, there was no new uploads since the last time she had checked. Using her thumb and index finger she scrolled on the screen enlarging the last photo Quinn had put up of herself.
She was just as beautiful as Rachel remembered, her face had changed, it had become older, more refined. Her cheekbones were sharper and her skin seemed tighter, she had lost her soft teenage looks and was now a gorgeous woman. Her hair was longer too, from what she could see from the photo it sat silkily on her shoulders, maybe a little longer. The picture was black and white. Just Quinn from the neck up. Looking hauntingly at the camera, a sad half smile donned her lips and she had a dullness in her eyes that made Rachel's heart hurt. It made her want to harm who or whatever stole the light from them. She focused on her eyes and tried to make that part of the photo bigger but the iPad slid and in an attempt to stop it from falling her fingers smashed against the screen causing a solitary white heart to spring on the screen signalling that she had liked the photo. Her heart thundered against so hard she could feel it in her ears, it pushed the blood around her system so thick and fast that her head spun and a coldness rushed through her veins.
She Sprung to her feet and prodded the screen motherfucker, shit and pleads of "no,no,no" left her lips as she was trying to unlike it as fast as possible and gripped the bastard in her hands like if she squeezed it hard enough it would break into pieces and destroy what she had just done . She finally breathed out hoping that she had got to it before it caused a notification and threw it on the coffee table and swore to herself that she would never touch the fucking thing again in her life. Maybe just once to make sure she had successfully turned the red heart to white.
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Quinn's heart froze. It only appeared on her screen for a second but she saw it. She had dropped her phone when the notification registered on the screen but Luckily it didn't fall far. She had been sitting on the small wall outside Shelby's house waiting for the occupants to return from wherever it was they were late back from. She should be angry that Shelby hadn't bothered to so much as text her but it was her last day here. For the next couple of weeks anyway. She should just walk away but she couldn't give up another chance to see Beth again.
She looked down at the screen once more, the notification had disappeared almost as fast as it appeared. It made her doubt if it was really there to begin with or was her eyes deceiving her by showing her something her mind wanted to see. Or was it Lima, had she been here too long that it was starting to do things to her? she was going crazy, well crazier. Instagram was a spectacular thing, really isn't it? You can literally stalk anyone at any time and no-one is none the wiser. God bless the perv who invented social media, the thought made her smile as she was about to click into Rachel's page.
"Beth wait!"
Quinn looked up in time to see Beth throwing the car door shut and angrily stamping towards the house and therefore towards her, With Shelby trying to catch up with her. The look of anger on the girls face was comical, her face was all twisted and a charming shade of red. Quinn thought it was the cutest thing she had ever seen and almost smiled until she saw the look on Shelby's face which caused the smile playing on her lips to completely dissipate.
Eventually the young girl came to a halt when she realised Quinn was standing there and she couldn't physically get into the house without Shelby unlocking the door but she didn't say anything instead she stood there folding her arms over her chest and a bemused look on her face. Quinn really wanted to laugh because all she could see in the young girl was herself staring back at her. It really was uncanny and suddenly she felt really guilty for every bad mood she had made her own mother suffer.
After Shelby had caught up and made her apologies to Quinn, all three entered the house with Beth running up the stairs and slamming the door shut. Causing both the adults to flinch, Quinn suddenly wanted to b anywhere but in this hallway, her eyes fixating on everything other than the other person stood only a few feet away.
"I'm really sorry about that, I don't know what's got into her" Shelby sighed while toeing of her shoes.
"It's ok, don't worry about" Quinn did her best to smile "I remember when I was that age, The world was so unfair" she rolled her eyes sarcastically and Shelby smile politely.
"Should I go?" she didn't want to, she could feel her stomach plummet at just the thought of not being able to see Beth again and was relieved when Shelby shook her head
"Don't be silly, I'm not letting this go to waste because my daughter decided to throw a tantrum"She said holding up the netted bags that Quinn had only just noticed was in her hand. "She'll calm down or she'll get hungry, either way she'll be down in half an hour tops" Shelby had already made her way to the kitchen leaving Quinn looking up the staircase at nothing.
Quinn finally followed her into the kitchen and watched as she began to unpack the bag onto the counter. Awkwardly hovering in the doorway, not knowing whether she should be helping or sitting down. In any other circumstances, she would walk over and help, without even questioning it. This however wasn't normal circumstances, far fucking from it. She was standing in the house of her former teacher who was making dinner for her and her daughter, whom she had gave up for adoption, if that wasn't bad enough the formal teacher also happened to be birth mother to the person who wrecked her life so much so that she thought she was incapable of loving another person.
"Does she," Quinn stopped when Shelby looked around, "I mean does this happen a lot?". She felt like she had no right to ask this question, it was none of her business really, but she had to say something, she had to put a stop to the deafening silence that was had engulfed the room.
Shelby sighed "Yeah, she's just being dramatic. She's blaming me for Rachel storming off. I swear if I didn't know any better …." She trailed off mid conversation when she saw Quinn's eyes widen. Quinn took a step back, every millimetre of breath seemed to evaporate from her body like she had been punched in the chest. Shelby put down the jar that was in her hand and moved towards the blonde, she had never see the colour drain from someone so quickly before and it was almost frightening.
"Are you ok?" Shelby was visibly worried and tried to get as close to Quinn as possible, being ready to catch her in case she passed out. Which by the looks of things was going to happen any second.
Her mind was whirring with a million thoughts, she knew that Shelby and Beth had some sort of relationship with Rachel. But she figured it was a holiday thing or at the very least a Skype thing. It had never occurred to her that Rachel would be in Lima, Rachel was in Lima, Shelby was with Rachel today, was that why they were late back? was Rachel supposed to come here for dinner too, Shelby said Rachel had stormed off. Did she storm off because she knew Quinn was here? Her heart fell at the point, of course that's why she stormed off. Everything clicked into place. Shelby had obviously told Rachel she was here, and she stormed off because, well, why wouldn't she? And that's also why she got the cryptic notification. It all made perfect sense. Except it didn't, not really. Nothing made sense when it came to Rachel, not even how she felt for her.
"I think we better talk about somethings" Shelby said taking Quinn's arm and leading her towards the mahogany dining table. "Wine?", Quinn nodded slowly, knowing that it was a statement, not a question by the way Shelby hadn't waited for her reply and had already began pouring out two glasses.
"So," Shelby sat down across from Quinn, carefully taking a sip from her drink before linking her fingers together and placing her joined hands on the table making Quinn feel like she was at some sort of interview. "Rachel has moved back here for the next few months", Quinn's eyes darted around the room looking for something of Rachel's and Shelby smiled in understanding "She's not living in this house, she has her own place", Quinn felt instant relief but then wondered if she wasn't living here then where was she living, and why wasn't she living here if it was only for a few months, but then she was thankful that she wasn't.
"After her fathers died, she kind of" Shelby shrugged, "Lost herself I guess". Quinn's mum had told her they both passed away, she was sad when she heard when they both passed away and did consider going to their funerals but she couldn't, she couldn't cause Rachel anymore pain when she was going through the hardest thing a person will go through.
I take it you didn't know?" Shelby asked seeing the reaction but Quinn nodded her head and feebly almost whispered "no, I knew. I just haven't spoken to her since high school". Shelby rose an eyebrow, and Guilt tugged at Quinn's chest. "We sort of drifted apart". "sadly, it happens" Shelby smiled kindly seeing the obvious hurt on the blondes face. "Quinn, you can tell me to mind my own business, but I've got to ask". She didn't respond at first, because she knew what she was about to be asked. It was the question Finn asked her all the time back then, it was a question Rachel screamed at her the last time she saw her. It was the question she knew a million answers to but none of them could actually reflect what she felt on the inside.
"What was she to you?", Quinn exhaled the breath she didn't realise she was holding onto. She knew the question was coming but She still couldn't answer. not for the first time, not to Shelby.
"Mom?" The disembodied voice came from the livingroom and Quinn sighed in relief which never went unnoticed by Shelby.
"In here sweetie" the older woman called and slid her chair back giving Quinn a look to say we're coming back to this. Beth entered the kitchen, and all moodiness from earlier has evaporated from her face and she was back to being the smiling chip girl Quinn remembers.
"What's for dinner?" She asked walking over to Shelby who was now standing by the edge of the table and nudged her eyes to Beth to say 'see,told you'. For a second Quinn smiled but then jealously ripped through her as she watched Beth hug her mother and apologise, this should be her. This should be her kitchen, her moment but it wasn't, she was an outsider watching what should be her life.
"Before you start, I'm not here to argue. I just need to get my court..." Rachel came hurtling through the kitchen doorway and stopped dead in her tracks after her eyes flashed around the room and landed on Quinn.