Title; Myths of the Uchiha
Disclaimer; Nope I don't own any of the Naruto characters.
I've noticed several little oddity's that are used so much that one might think they were actually canon, so I thought some sort of humour fic was necessary; I've decided to take a crack view of these instances.
Begin.
Prompt Four: Whilst training in Sound Sasuke witnesses disturbing and twisted horrors he reacts rather nonchalantly. (More precisely other characters ted to go on about these apparent horrors when talking about Sasuke or if a character joins him in going to sound they'll become mentally twisted and dark while Sasuke will stay much the same.)
Once he finally reached the Hidden village of Sound; after battling Naruto, being forced to survive on only mushrooms in the forest on the other side of the valley of the end and a rather psychedelic adventure with a unicorn and a talking squirrel that ended with the young Uchiha awakening in small villages fountain wearing a pair of novelty breasts and with a piercing in what can only be described as an unusual location; Sasuke decided that the village was rather disappointing.
It was a pit…literally.
Just a bunch of ominous stairs leading into a dark decent- oh and Kabuto, tapping his foot impatiently, guess he'd been waiting awhile.
"Where are the others?" asked the white haired mad doctor blinking in confusion, I guessed he meant the pseudo-circus act that had guided me part of the way.
"Dunno, what's it matter anyway I'm here now." Answered the Uchiha sounding just a tad self-centred with an annoyed frown.
"Well yeah that's great and all, but they were supposed to get milk too." Responded the medic disappointment evident in his tone of voice.
"But Konoha is two weeks away, you guys have been waiting for milk for a whole month?" asked the Uchiha beyond confused.
"Yeah and let me tell you Orochimaru gets real cranky without his Cocopops, well I may as well give you the tour now. Come on." Replied Kabuto with a deep sigh leading the way down the steps.
For the first time since leaving Konoha Sasuke began to rethink his choice.
Hellish training, the risk of being genetically experimented on, becoming a prisoner with in his own body due to Orochimaru's technique, having to kill his old friends and comrades eventually when they tracked him down?
Not a problem.
No milk for his coffee in the morning?
Truly a faith worse than death by no small measure.
But it was too late for second guessing and the Uchiha found himself following the mildly insane medic despite his new found hesitance.
"That's one of the canteens through that door, the main armoury is down that corridor, that's where we sacrifice virgins and summon Demons." Listed off Kabuto as they journeyed through the dim corridors.
The Uchiha felt a tingle of worry run through his mind…he had lost all of his weapons on the way here, best to visit that armoury as soon as possible.
"Another canteen through there, that's corridor leads to the soldiers quarters, through there in our spa and Jacuzzi room, we have our orgies in that room," continued the man pointing to various rooms as the duo walked, hearing one of those in particular though Sasuke came to a complete and sudden stop.
"Something wrong Sasuke?" asked Kabuto turning to face the Uchiha a look of confusion on his features.
"What was that's last one?" asked Sasuke.
"The orgy room?" asked Kabuto with a sigh, he'd forgotten how innocent Konoha ninja could be…at least he hadn't pointed out the Demon orgy room yet, or Orochimaru's special alone time wing.
"No, before that." Responded the younger man with a shake of his head.
"The Jacuzzi room?" asked Kabuto his voice going a pitch higher than natural in his confusion…what possible problem could the Uchiha have with Jacuzzi's that they were more attention grabbing than a bloody orgy room.
That reminded Kabuto, the blood was seeping out for below the door again; he'd have to get someone to mop in there soon, nothing' worse than a dirty orgy room after all.
"Yeah, we have a Jacuzzi. Bitchin'." Answered Sasuke with a smirk, suddenly this place didn't seem so bad…though he was somewhat curious about what exactly an 'orgy' was.
"I should invite Naruto and Sakura over." Commented the young Uchiha as they continued the tour, after all Sakura had wanted to come in the first place and surely the promise of a Jacuzzi would entice Naruto.
"What have you been eating lately Sasuke?" asked the medic with slight unease.
"Just some mushrooms." Answered the Uchiha, before he began waving at an empty corner.
"Have you seen anything unusual lately, Sasuke." Asked Kabuto subtly leading the boy toward the medical ward.
"Not really, though that dragon claims these mines are haunted." Responded the Uchiha easily.
"I see." Orochimaru was gonna be pissed.
Though based on the anime and manga it seems Sound just has endless corridors of empty rooms.
Hope you all enjoyed.
R&R